Ryan's Life (Part 6)

RYAN'S EXHIBITIONIST LIFE

PART 6: Exhibitionism in question: Spicy reunion with an old friend

At 18, I was discovering my attraction for women’s feet and I was diving into the crazy world of kinky pornography online.

At 19, I was (without much enthusiasm) blowing my roommate from times to times, and he was (very much more enthusiastically) deep-throating my fat 7.5. inches cock on the regular.

At 20, I was getting into a serious relationship with Mallory.

She was great and exactly what I needed. I knew from the early stages that she would be the woman of my life.

At 21, I was opening the alternative and secretive “RAMSOM_PL” Instagram page where I was discreetly chatting (and sharing a bit more than text messages) with girls.

These women seemed way too happy to order me around and to show me their soles.

I thought that this was some harmless fun.

At 22, I had discovered how much I loved to show myself off, especially online, and I was living off the likes and comments on my secret Instagram account.

At 23, I was getting engaged to Mallory and getting catfished by my own little brother…

Ouch, that was tough realization.

This was also the bitter end of “RANSOM_PL”.

At 25, I was getting married and acting on my exhibitionism tendencies for the very first time, jerking-off on a nude gay beach in Barcelona.

That was hot as fuck… and I was hooked.

At 26, I was having twins and I tried to focus on my family life, while surviving my residency program at the hospital.

At 28, I was discovering the world of gay saunas and getting more comfortable fooling around with other men.

Apparently, I was not straight anymore.

Who would have known?

At 29, I had a submissive boy sucking my cock on retainer and I had become a regular at the saunas, offering my milk to countless guys who were worshiping me… Like I deserved!

Finally, I felt like I was living my intended purpose in life as a shameless exhibitionist.

At 32, I was partially living in Philadelphia where I kept going further with other men, letting a room-service attendant blowing me and rimming my musky asshole.

And this was only one of the many not-so-straight things that I did there.

At 33, I was traveling in California a lot and diving even deeper into exhibitionism: frequenting gay establishments, nude beaches, and cruising places.

Believe me, I had fun!

By this point, it became difficult to keep track of how many dudes had given me head in public. Those gay men really knew what they were doing with their lips around a hard dick.

In the meantime, I also became a father to a third son… Yeah!

No, honestly, this was great news and turning 35, I thought that I was doing great.

I was passionate about my job, - being an attending in a great hospital -, I was respected by my peers, I loved my kids and my family to death.

What more could one ask for?

Mallory and I’s relationship had definitely evolved in the last decade.

We now had pre-teen boys and a toddler at home which, obviously, would impact any couple dynamic.

We had gone through ups and downs until we had found our balance.

It was hectic for years and someday, somehow, it was working. The boys did not need that much attention anymore and we had found our rhythm between work and home.

Marriage is a strange thing.

It starts with an attraction, and, at least as far as we were concerned, a raw sexual connexion; It goes on with feelings and if you are lucky, love; But then, it turns into something else entirely, a partnership, a commitment to preserve what we have built and to strengthen our family.

The libido’s crisis came only a few years later, when I was about 38 years-old.

My sex life with my wife had not changed much so it had nothing to do with Mallory.

The issue was more related to the spice I was adding on the side to keep me entertained, my extra-marital activites had become quite dull.

I had become of these hundreds of married men, who were committed to their families, but who would allow themselves some hook-ups in a sleazy sauna to blow off some steam…

(…or some fat hairy cocks.)

The problem was that getting watched, worshipped, and serviced by other men was no longer enough to get me going.

Going to the saunas was no longer sufficient to ease my itching for adrenaline.

I was craving for more.

But what did I want exactly?

Why on Earth did my latest visits at the “Bath and Beyond club” feel so dull?

I jerked off, I let others watch me, I stared at them drooling over my big cock leaking, but it did not feel as fulfilling as before.

Maybe I was done with this part of my life?

After three or four disappointing visits in the past year and not even having been able to cum that Sunday evening (a first!), I had decided that it would be my last time in the sauna.

I was ready to wrap this up when I met someone I had not seen in years.

Eric, the mechanic!

He was now closer to 50 but it was like age had had no effect on him. No grey hair, no wrinkle, heck, he had even more hair than ten year prior!

It is a known fact that black men usually grow old very well, but it was particularly the case for my good friend.

“Eric! Long time no see!”

I spotted him as he was undressing in the locker-rooms. I was about to leave and he was coming in.

I practically jumped on him, excited to see a familiar face (and cock).

“No way! Ain’t that my favourite surgeon?”

He walked towards me and gave me a warm hug. We were both stark naked but we had been more intimate before, our dicks could brush against one another, no big deal.

“It’s good to see you, my friend.” I told him, being absolutely genuine.

“And you too! You’re getting rare in here lately. Although, I have reduced the frequency of my visits as well.”

“Yeah, well, you know. I’ve been travelling a lot, only been back to Boston for a couple years and I’ve got three kids now. They keep me busy enough, not even talking about work.”

“I bet, I bet… You’re still looking good though. You’re keeping in shape I see.”

He felt my biceps, in a way no straight buddy would ever touch your arms. I felt some tingles in my stomach.

“I’m trying to hit the gym a few times a week. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

I grabbed his firm and large pec.

“I’m celebrating 49 this week-end but I’m trying to keep things where they belong.”

“I can see that. I hope I’ll be as shredded as you are in ten years.”

“Wanna know the secret?”

He had a naughty smirk on his face.

“Do tell…”

“A lot of sex, every single day! Never miss one!”

He burst out laughing and so did I.

A man changing behind us looked at us strangely.

People were usually quiet and up to their filthy business in this place. That was one of the things I was getting tired of.

But now that Eric was there, I did not feel like leaving anymore.

“I was about to go but if you want, we can catch up in the hot tub, just like the old days?”

“Sure, I’d love that. Walk in front of me, I’ll enjoy the view.”

I bit my lips, almost said something, but ultimately, I indulged and led the way.

The cheeky bastard slapped my butt as we walked to the hot tub.

“And how’s life been treating you?” I asked.

“My eldest has just gotten married so… I feel pretty old myself. I think I’m gonna be a grandpa soon enough.”

“Life passes by so quickly, that’s just crazy.”

“That’s why we have to make the best of it! I live with no regret.”

I smiled at him.

We were now getting in the warm water.

“You’re absolutely right… We only live one.”

“Every day should be a fun day.”

“Yes… Although… What happens when you don’t know what you really want to do for fun anymore?”

Eric was surprised by my sudden serious tone. That was very unlike me.

“What do you mean?”

I sighed and decided to get real.

For some reason, I had always felt like I could be completely myself with Eric.

Maybe he would know what to say to make me feel better?

 “I’ve been here one hour and like… It was the usual, the atmosphere was hot, some dudes were jerking off, people were watching me… You know how I love to be watched… But I was not in it… I’ve been waiting all month to get here, and now that I am, it’s just not like before…”

“You can’t get it up?”

“What are you talking about? Of course, I can! You’re the grandpa, remember? And I do get hard, that’s not the problem.”

“So what?”

“Your cock can get stiffed and you can still feel nothing!”

He made an understanding face.

“I hear you, man. I hear you.”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ve just done everything I needed to do and now, it feels empty, I…”

Once again, Eric laughed loudly, cutting me off.

“Dear Lord, done everything? You cannot be serious, Ryan!”

“What? Dude, I’m opening up right now. No need to make fun of me.”

“Come on, bro, you have barely scratched the surface of life’s possibilities. What are you thinking? Because you’ve gone to a gay sauna a few times, that’s it. You’ve played all of your cards?”

“First of all, you know that it’s been way more than a few times. Second of all, I did other things, I… I met people while I was cruising, I did all sort of stuff.”

“Did you get fucked in your ass?”

I gasped.

I did not expect this question.

“What? No!”

“Exactly. You’ve done nothing, man. And I think your problem is pretty clear, this place no longer excites you because it doesn’t feel risky or taboo anymore. You need the thrill.”

That was making sense.

“I guess you’re right. I’ve only come here because of the habit, because this is what I used to do to get my dose of adrenaline.”

“I bet… Besides, people’s kinks and desires change with age. That’s only natural.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Sure, a gay man will not magically turn straight, and reversely, and if you like showing off, you’ll always like it, but sexuality and desire can take so many different forms, the libido is a mysterious thing. You mind if I stroke myself while we talk?”

I smiled.

He, on the contrary, had not changed one bit.

“I’d be worried if you weren’t jacking off…. I’m just not even sure what I’d like to do. I guess I’ll have to think about it.”

“Wrong answer again, buddy.”

“What now?”

Eric was stroking his cock above the water level. That thing was hardening very quickly.

“There is nothing about this you should think about, it’s not in that part of the brain you’ll find your answers…”

“Where then?”

“You need to listen to your guts, and you know what, I don’t even buy it. I’m sure you already know what you’d like to do, and if I believe my own experience, it might just be a little too taboo for you to admit it to yourself… Yet.”

“Damn, you’re a shrink now?”

“I’m just a wise old man!”

He spat on his cockhead, making it slippery.

I did not say anything else. I spent the next five minutes staring at his hard cock and the steady hand motions in silence.

I was supposed “not to think” but thinking was all I could do now.

His last comment had made my mind railing.

There had been this one thing which had come to my mind lately… For the past few years, actually.

Did I know what I wanted already and was I simply too scared to admit it to myself?

It had taken me years to come to terms with my exhibitionist tendencies, but those new thoughts popping up in my brain… It could not mean anything… I did not truly wish for those weird fantasies to come true….

Or did I?

Shit.

Eric had fucked with my brain (failing to fuck me).

Eric had shut his eyes and he was softly moaning when I spoke again, in a much weaker voice than usual.

“That thing you said about me, never having been fucked in the ass earlier… Why did you say that exactly?”

He semi-opened his eyes.

“I don’t know, because I figured you were still a virgin.”

“I’ve already fingered myself… Like, many times!”

It was silly how I had justified myself there. I am not really sure why I did it.

He grinned.

“Good for you man, you liked it?”

Why did this conversation make me feel so self-conscious?

At this point, what difference did it make if I had liked it? Eric had already seen me do so many taboos thing.

“I did enjoy it… I think so.”

“Stop thinking, bro. If you did it more than once, it means you liked how it feels the first time!”

“I suppose that’s true.”

He went back to his slow stroking and I fell silent again.

It was not showing much on the outside, but inside of me, something was definitely happening. Something major.

A revelation, the type of things I did not think I could still learn about myself as I was now nearing 40.

Also, my own cock was getting chubbier.

Eric opened his eyes again. I could tell his cock was ready to burst.

“You’re sure you’re good, man? I didn’t mean to tease you like that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why so serious? Just relax.”

He slid his way towards me until we were no longer facing in the hot tub but sitting side by side.

His thighs were touching mine and he put his hand around my shoulders.

“You’re right, I should chill… I don’t know what’s up with me lately…”

“Hey, we all go through those types of phases. Don’t sweat it. Uncle Eric is here.”

He started caressing my shoulders and my pecs, going down on my chest.

“Wanna feel something else?” I asked.

“What’s that?”

I knew he had heard and understood me perfectly.

I moved my pelvis up so my cock would come out of the water entirely. I was sporting a strong semi.

“I think that it deserves a massage more than my pecs.” I said, staring at my junks and moving it.

“You, dirty boy. Here, I finally recognize you!”

I chuckled.

We moved slightly so he could hold my hardening dick.

I was a good friend, I held his already hard cock in return. Massive, meaty and thick.

It had been a while since I had not stroked another dude’s bone.

I was already feeling my libido all coming back when a group of three younger black men decided to use the hot tub as well.

It was very large, but not that large that we were not all over each other once they had dove in.

They were not talking much though and seemed rather shy.

Eric and I were unbothered by it, we kept on stroking each other. If anything, we were more excited now that we had company.

Once again, we had become the main piece of the show.

Eric got his mouth very close to my face. I thought he was about to lick me off or something.

“I think I have a little thing for you… Something which might make you feel better…”

He whispered in my ear.

I was barely able to hear him, we were making splashes in the water as we were working hard on our respective cocks.

“Do what you feel… Hmmm… is right…” I mumbled, finally in the zone.

I was staring at one of the younger guys watching us.

He was 18 for sure since he had been able to come in the Bath and Beyond Club but I doubted that he had left high school for long.

What could he be thinking, looking at a married man being wanked off right in front of him?

He was for sure enjoying the show, the dude was drooling and his cock was throbbing despite the fact that, - contrary to his friends -, he was not touching himself.

I was focused on this hot guy, forgetting where I was, what I was doing, or even, who I was when…

“Aaaah…”

Something penetrated my anus.

“You like that, bro?”

“Hmmm… Damn…”

Eric had shoved his index finger right up my asshole!

“More?” He asked.

“Yes, more!” I heard me begging.

Since it was all happening under the bubbly water, our audience did not seem to understand what was going on.

For once, the secret made it even hotter.

There it was, the thrill I had been looking for!

Eric kept one hand all over my cock and started playing with my ass with the other. Thank God, he was very skilled with both hands and he knew his way around a male body.

He slipped a second finger in, and he went even deeper.

“Like that?”

“Fuck yes…”

It was getting clear that something else aside from the wanking was going on.

“I’m fingering his hole.” Eric casually explained to the perplexed crowd watching.

I made a high-pitched sound. I found it very hot how he had talked about me to perfect strangers.

He was moving his two fingers inside my ass, making them dance in my tight asshole.

“Yes… He is… My virgin hole… He’s playing with it.” I muttered, transfixed.

The guys watching shared an understanding smile. Two of them were now avidly stroking each other while the younger guy, the hottest of the three, was still just watching.

He was like hypnotized.

The fingering got even more intense until Eric was no longer taking care of my dick and only focused on reaching and massaging my prostate.

He made me move side way to have a better angle for his anal cavity research. And indeed, he could reach me deeeeeep like this!

“Aaaaah… God…”

It had been a while since I had not played with my own ass and I was literally trembling due to the intense pleasure I was receiving.

Part of the excitement was clearly to be put on display, in such a vulnerable position.

But then, things got worse, - or better, depending on how you look at it -, as I got much more exposed when Eric made me go on all fours.

When I say that he made me do those things, obviously, I was a very much willing participant and too happy to oblige.

In the end, I was doggy-styling in the hot tub, my wet hairy ass outrageously in the open, right above the water.

And there, I heard me say the craziest thing that I could have said.

I swear the words came out of my mouth without me really comprehending what I was asking for.

Eric would have said that it was probably my gut talking…

In any event, it was certainly not my reasonable brain taking the wheel here.

“You guys want to take turn? Fingering me?”

Eric did not expect that one and spanked my cheeks. Much harder than the little slap he had given me in the locker-rooms.

“You naughty filthy man!” He exclaimed.

“What? I… I was only…”

He pulled back the two fingers he had still buried deep inside of me.

“You heard the big man; he needs some help relaxing his asshole! Get in line boys!” Eric told the other guys.

They were evidently not regulars at the club and quite surprised by the turn of events.

I learned later that these dudes were three college friends, gay or bisexuals, who had dared themselves to try a risky sauna and see what it was like.

Well, they were not disappointed by their first introduction to that world!

“Let’s go, guys!” The younger guy spoke up, finally getting out of his silent staring.

I smiled.

Fantastic that he was the one ultimately taking the lead.

Fuck, I was happy. I was living again!

See, my secret fantasy was not only about getting fucked. It was not really about any of that actually.

It was about getting used and somehow, degraded, in public.

Nearly twenty years prior, I was shoving fingers in my hole for girls online, (or catfishes, whatever), but at this stage of my life, I was ready for the real thing, being manhandled by other filthy men, in real life.

Was not it the ultimate step of exhibitionism?

Look at me, feel me up, touch me, wank me, fuck me… Let me be your sexual toy.

I suppose those considerations on desire and libido did not matter much when the horny strangers started fingering my asshole, one after the other.

“And I swear to you, guys, he’s a legit virgin married man!” Eric told the other boys.

They needed to understand what was at stake.

I was just not another gay sub on another day at the sauna.

“Aaaaah… Shiiiit… That’s the spot!” I yelled suddenly.  

I cannot say who but one of them had just reached my prostate. Deep and hard.

Simultaneously, someone else was pumping my throbbing cock from behind and under the water.

Now, that was some brand-new experience!

The stimulation was coming from all over the place.

“Tell me you want me to cum… Hmmm… Tell me you… Hmmm, guys… Please… You want me…”

The last thing I needed to explode was to hear them praising me…. Or dirty-talking to me.

Which they did. A lot!

Finally, the strangers were not so quiet anymore.

“You fucking bitch, you love that don’t you?”

“Yes, I’ll hit you right in the spot! All over again”

“Cum for us, dude!”

“What would your wife thing, seeing your like this, dirty whore?! Being fingered and milked by college kids?!”

Have I already mentioned that, per the rules of the Bath and Beyond Club, we were not supposed to cum in the Jacuzzi?

I think that I have. And well, I did bust my loads in the forbidden water, once again…

Sue me, how was I supposed to control myself?!

“Yes, daddy, empty yourself like you deserve!”

“You’re such a nasty fucker!”

“Shake that ass while you nut, slut!”

I felt like a slut, indeed. And I twerked like a damn fool.

And you know what? I loved it! Every second of it.

At the very least, I had loved it on the moment.

When I came back home, I was not so sure anymore.

Lying next to Mallory in bed to following night, I could not sleep.

It is not that I was regretting what I had done, - in my fucked-up mind, none of these shenanigans could be considered as cheating -, but I was afraid of what would be coming next.

Had I just opened the pandora box?

Now that my asshole was itching so bad, what would be next? How far would I be willing to go to satisfy my craving?

[See you next week for the seventh and final part of this story]