Andy is Trying - Chapter 13

ANDY IS TRYING

Chapter 13: Andy Moves on

I was obviously nervous going to the coffee shop but I was aware that I could not hide forever and whatever this conversation would turn out to be, it would be better than where I was then.

Rebecca was sitting with a coffee and she had already ordered one for me.

I did not want to one but I did not say anything. I even pretended to like it although it was too strong for my taste.

My legs were slightly shaking when I sat down in front of her.

“I didn’t want to be rude to your boyfriend.” She spoke.

“My boyfriend?”

“That man who opened the door for me.”

“Oh! Cody? He’s not my boyfriend; he’s just my roommate. Actually, he’s Laurie’s boyfriend.”

“Really?”

Shit.

I had already said too much.

“Please, don’t take this for granted, I’m not supposed to… Well, it’s not official or anything, I think.”

The talk was starting well…

“Why don't we just agree that everything we say in this conversation will remain between us?”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

“Good.” She drank a sip of her coffee. “So, why didn’t you come to work this morning?”

Was not it obvious?

I was about to bullshit her but I thought that at this stage, the best strategy was to come clean.

“I suppose that I was feeling too ashamed. I also assumed that I was no longer welcomed at the office. I… I don’t know how I could continue to work for you.”

“I see.”

She drank another sip.

I noticed that she was still wearing her wedding ring.

“Listen, I… I’m really sorry, Ms. Crown. I understand that it must sound ridiculous to hear me say that but…”

“Let me cut you right there. It’s not ridiculous, it’s simply that I don’t care about apologies.”

She looked straight in my eyes, - it was difficult to hold her gaze -, but she was very hard to read.

She added in a softer tone.

“I just don’t see the point of apologizing in general.”

“Yes, of course.”

“How long have you been sleeping with my husband?”

Damn.

As always, she was straight to the point.

I admired that about her, but in these circumstances, I would not have minded beating around the bush, just a little bit.

Had David lied to her?

What did he tell his wife?

We had not had a single talk since I had left his office a week prior. What if our stories were not aligned and I was responsible for more chaos in their family.

I decided to go for the truth.

“We started meeting after work, on Thursdays, I think a couple weeks after I was hired.”

“You didn’t waste any time.”

Touché.

“I… I don’t know what happened. I’m usually not like that.”

I hated hearing myself say that.

I knew damn well that I had been fucking with a married man. I did not have any excuse.

“My husband is very attractive. He’s charismatic and, God bless him, he can be very convincing.”

I gulped.

“He is, but… I’m sure he regrets what we’ve been doing.”

She puffed.

“White, don’t pretend you know David more than I do. And please, would you stop assuming that this has come as a surprise for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been married to David for twenty-six years. In what world would have I not understood that my husband is as gay as one can be?”

I was stunned.

I think it showed.

“White, pick that jaw off the floor. I don’t think I’m coming across as such a naïve woman. Am I?”

“You’re certainly not.”

“I understand sexual desires. Most of all, I understand how men work. Women can be more difficult to assess but men, it’s really easy, they think that they’re so smart but trust me, they’re only driven by their sexual urges. Why do they build castles? Why do they want a career? Why do they want power? To attract desirable women in their beds… Or, in some cases, other men.”

What was I supposed to say to that?

Oddly, what came out of my mouth was utterly sincere.

“If men are so bad, why aren’t you running yourself? For the nomination?”

Rebecca Crown frankly smiled at me.

“Because, as I’ve told you before and as you’ve noticed yourself, my husband is a very charismatic man and I’m deeply convinced the entire nation could fall in love with him… Sadly, I don’t think America is ready to fall in love with a woman like me.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“Look at what they’ve done to Kamala and Hillary.”

“There are women who are governors. Jan is one of them.”

Alicia Jan was the current governor of Pennsylvania.

“Are you conspiring against David now?”

Fuck my life.

How was I constantly making things worst for myself?!

“No! Of course, not! I… I was just… It was just a thought that I had. And what you said about men not being able to control themselves… I…”

“Relax, I won’t tell anything to David. We’ve already established this conversation is fully confidential. Haven’t we? It’s now or never to be brutally honest.”

She was very good at manipulation. It was scary.

I drank my bad coffee.

I was just trying to keep my hands busy.

She did not talk for a couple of minutes and the silence felt like it lasted for hours. The silence was even worse than when she was directly coming at me.

Finally, I spoke.

“Ms. Crown. What are you waiting from me?”

For the first time, she seemed to search for her words.

“First and foremost, for obvious political reasons, it is imperative that this relationship or whatever happens between you and my husband remain completely confidential. Are we aligned on that?”

“We are.”

“Great. I was hoping we would be on the same page on that one. I think you know that being involved in such a scandal would destroy your reputation as well.”

“I’m aware…”

“David also confirmed that you had never made the mistakes of exchanging mails or texts or letting any concrete evidence of your… activities outside of work behind you. Is it correct?”

“It is.”

“Ah. My husband is not that stupid then. So, you must understand that even if you were tempted to blabber about your relationship to the press, it would be your word against ours… and against our very qualified lawyers.”

Wow.

That woman knew how to formulate a threat without really formulating a threat.

“I understand, and I swear, I have no intention of ever saying anything.”

I could not have been more honest there.

“So, nobody knows?” She asked.

I thought of Cody.

“Yes, nobody knows.”

It was my sole lie that morning.

“Okay, then. In such case, I don’t see why we should be at odds with each other or why you shouldn’t come back to work.”

“But Madam… The situation is what it is.”

“And?”

“Aren’t you mad at me? Don’t you hate me? And your family…”

She sighed.

“You’re a young man, White. This ain’t my first rodeo.”

“David had others…?”

I did not finish my question.

It seemed inconsiderate to ask this, but also, it was very obvious that I was not the first twink he was fucking on the side.

I mean, I had already seen Galvin, my first week at work.

“I do not think this is any of your business.”

“Obviously. I apologize, I…”

“But I will say this: I do not think marriage is what Hollywood and modern society is selling. For instance, do you know why I’ve been strongly opposed to gay marriage?”

“I don’t.”

“People may think that I’m homophobic. You might think I resent my husband and that I’m just a bitter woman… I’m not.”

“Why are you against it then?”

“Mariage is something society has invented, it’s not about it being right or wrong, it’s simply a tool we have designed so we can live together. Monogamy is not natural, but for our civilization to prosper, we need strong families. I firmly believe that the whole purpose of marriage is to have children, raising them so they become functioning members of the society, and ultimately, those children take care of you when you grow older. Mariage has historically not been about love, and even less so about sex. Those recent concepts are way too frivolous and fragile to sustain anything on the long term.”

“You mean that you don’t love your husband?”

It was getting way too personal but she had said it herself, it was now or never to have a frank conversation.

To be honest, I was quite fascinated with her outlook on life.

“I mean that it doesn’t matter whether I love my husband or not as long as we’ve both decided to form a family together. Nobody on this earth can promise to love someone forever, in the sense of romantical love, - what would that even signify? - but we can promise each other to make a team, to respect each other, and to stick together. Why do you think there are much more divorces nowadays, when people choose who they want to marry than there were before, when the marriages were imposed?”

“We have too much choices… Too many opportunities. The social media and internet dating…”

She cut me off. Again.

“People were cheating way before divorce became a thing! They just stayed married whether they wanted it or not.”

“I suppose.”

“Betting on sexual attraction or romantic love to last a lifetime is pure madness and almost always lead to disaster. Marriage is a form of contract and that’s about it, admitting gay marriage is saying that the whole point of a family would be to celebrate love. That’s just crazy. See, I’m not against people of the same sex committing to each other, but I am against a society which thinks it can function based on emotions and lust instead of telling it like it is. Individual people can be free but they have some duties towards society. One of them is to have children.”

I had never thought of that this way and I surprised myself reconsidering all my beliefs.

Rebecca was very good.

It was a pretty depressing perspective on life and relationships, but maybe it was just a realistic one.

Love can never last forever and society might need people to stick together and raise children to function.

I was not too sure.  

“So, you’re not mad at David?”

“Oh, I definitely am. I think he could have chosen to bang someone else than one of my best employees. I wish I would not have to be in this coffee shop this morning. And I wish that he would have taken much less risks in the context of a political campaign I’ve been working my ass on for months, not to say years. But that’s my personal matter to handle with him… In the end, it doesn’t have much to do with you.”

Funny how she said that last part almost exactly like her husband had, right after we had been caught.

“On my side, it’s done. I… I’m all done anyway.”

“What are you saying?”

“I… I won’t contact him again. I won’t go back to David.”

“Why is that? Because I caught you?”

“No… I mean, yes. But no, there was the excitement, this is true, but this secret was also driving me insane. I was wrecking my mind around it and I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

“For the record, I think that he likes you.”

That may have been the strangest thing she had said so far.

But I had made up my mind, way before this surreal conversation.

“Maybe he does but I, in fact, want to find love at some point in my life. Whether it lasts forever or not, I want to believe in this.”

She smiled.

“That’s a risky endeavor, White.”

“Yes. But maybe it’s worth it.”

“Well, good luck with that. Can we move on now or do you have anything else to say?”

I thought about it.

“To be truthful, I’m really surprised. I… I didn’t expect you, or for that matter anyone, to react like that.”

“I have a tough skin. And more importantly, I know my purpose in life.”

“Governing the State?”

“Fixing the Country. Pennsylvania is a first step and I don’t intend to mess that up.”

“I understand, Madam.”

“We’re on the clock now. In April, meaning in just four months, we’re gonna have to make sure there’s no consensus in the party to endorse Broadhall. Believe me, this mad rat is not wasting his time as we are. Right now, he’s spending his days and nights convincing every party leader to get on his side. He doesn’t want the primary, he’s way too afraid of the people, he only cares about controlling the party. The fool lost twice to Alicia Jan and the MAGA twats might let him lose a third time.”

“Trump did win again…”

“Yes, but not for his MAGA bullshit. His victory just proves Pennsylvania is a conservative state, making it even more important to announce David Crown as not only a credible candidate but as the most suitable to actually win in the State in 2026. We need the data from the early polls asap, we need the policies, we need to make some moves.”

“You… You want me to come back?”

I could hardly believe it.

“Unless you can’t get over this regrettable incident with David, yes.”

“I thought I was fired.”

“If you do want to go, then, we’ll have to find a good reason for you to leave. I don’t want this to look suspicious.”

“I get that.”

“That being said, I personally would not waste a talent for a meaningless booty call. I’ve learned a long time ago that all men are pigs and us women, we just have to make do with it.”

I chuckled nervously.

Had she just called me a pig?

“But what about David?”

“You think he’s making any of the calls here? Besides, do you often see him around the office? Aside from everything we’ve talked about, you’re good at your job and I don’t want this morning to have been a waste of my time.”

“Okay…”

“Okay what?”

My mind was buzzing.

I had made a mountain out of my spicy encounters with David Crown, but even his wife did not seem to think it mattered at all.

What if it was indeed insignificant?

“We can move on. I mean, I want to move on. I don’t want this to define me. I… I just need to think about it.”

“Then, I’ll leave you until the New Year. In the meantime, tell the others you had the flu, including Laurie if you see her. That’ll explain your absence. You’re two are friends, right?”

“Right, and okay, I’ll do that.”

She checked her watch and stood up abruptly.

“Good bye White. I let you pay for the coffees; I think you owe me that one.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Now, we’re even.”

She shook my hand.

My life was not over.

Rebecca Crown was an incredible, crazy, resourceful and unbeatable woman.

I did not know what to tell Cody when I returned to the apartment. Where to even begin?!

I did the best I could to retell the conversation as I wanted his honest opinion on what I should do next.

“What do you think? Would it be that crazy for me to come back to the office?”

“What are you gonna do if you leave your job? Leave Philly as well?”

“How cute!” I teased Cody. “You don’t want me to leave the apartment!”

“Get over yourself, I didn’t say that. But I mean, yeah, I guess I wouldn’t mind to keep this roommate’s thing going.”

I smiled.

“I wouldn’t mind it either… And to be honest, I don’t have any plan B anyway. I keep on being told I’m doing a good work but I couldn’t keep my last job because of external reasons and this time around…”

“You fucked up. Or rather, you got screwed.”

“Yeah, very funny… Me and my damn sexual urges as Rebecca would say… I’m afraid that if I lose this job, I’ll have to go back to my parents. God. It was okay to be there for a few days for Christmas but…”

“Then, stay! The woman has spoken, she doesn’t care that her husband dipped his dick in your little ass.”

“It’d still be fucking weird.”

“For a few days, I guess, but if you stop sucking David Crown under his desk, people will move on.”

“How do you know that I’ve… Forget it.”

Cody laughed.

“Bro, nobody knows about it anyway, except for you three. Let me tell you something, Laurie has no freaking idea.”

“Well, make sure that it stays that way and that we’re on the same page with that flu excuse. It’s the official reason I didn’t go to work today.”

“I will.”

“Thanks…”

“I mean, you’ll be (he made quotation marks with his fingers) “healed” from the flu for the party tomorrow night, right?”

“Definitely. I think I need to party.”

“And that’s what I like to hear!”

Rebecca had let me until the new year to give her my answer so I decided to use this delay wisely.

No rush decision, and a lot of fun in the meantime to clear my mind!

The talk although it had been uncomfortable did lift a huge weight off my shoulders.

I felt so much lighter and carefree.

I had not destroyed a family, I had not lost my job – if I still wanted to keep it -, and this whole thing had been quite the electro shock regarding how I had been living my life.

I actually wanted to go out and to meet someone for real, not a crappy affair with a man who could never be there for me on the long run.

I did meet cute guys at the New Year’s Eve extravaganza but I had also been texting with Darius and honestly, I would have wished for him to be there.

Laurie and Cody spent most of the night making out, Laurie’s sister met an architect apprentice studying with Cody, and I mainly danced with complete strangers.

It got a bit naughty, I may have twerked against the crotch of a Mexican underwear model, but it did not get any further than that.

And for fucking once in my life, I had done the right thing controlling myself.

A few minutes before midnight, Cody caught me as I was walking to the restrooms.

“Bro! Have you seen him?” He screamed through the music.

“Who?”

“Darius! He’s been looking everywhere for you.”

“What? He’s here? He… He’s supposed to be at his parents, in Florida. You’re sure you’re not drunk, roomie?”

“I’m not! I have to stay sober for the midnight kiss.”

“It didn’t seem like you were waiting for midnight to kiss!”

Cody chuckled.

“What can I say? Laurie loves smacking my lips.”

“Whatever. I don’t think Darius is here, man.”

“You idiot, he came back early from Florida. I told him about the party and he came…. And… He knew that you’d be there! I bet he just didn’t come back because his family was getting on his nerves.”

I felt some tingling in my stomach.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. You’re a heart throb, Andy.”

I scratched my ginger hair. They were a bit sticky because I had danced and sweated too much already.

“Apparently. I don’t know if I should do anything though.”

“Why not? Bro, it’s the whole purpose of tonight. In fifteen minutes, we’ll be in 2025. It’s time to try something new and start fresh!”

I nodded yes.

“I want to. Cody, I really want to.”

“Well, try to find Darius before he gives up on you.”

It was easier said than done though.

The party was held in a crowded industrial loft and I had no idea where Darius could be. There were more than two hundred people crammed together.

He was a tall, broad, black guy so he wasn’t supposed to be that difficult to find.

I should have worn my glasses instead of wanting to look hot!

Everybody was getting busy with the countdown to midnight approaching and I could not lay my eyes on the cook.

Jaded, at 11:57, I returned to the restrooms, - I had ignored my pressing need to pee to go look for Darius -, but since I had not found him anywhere, it was time to release my bladder.

I know, my timing was somehow always off.

Unless…

Unless this had been the best idea I could have had.

I hurried to take a leak and guess who I saw when I was done, entering the restrooms at exactly 11:58 pm.

“Darius?”

“Andy!”

He was very cute, wearing a black shirt that was too tight for his frame, his nipples poking out deliciously through the fabric.

His biceps seemed far too compressed in the shirt. I wished I could have loosened them myself.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in Florida.”

“I came back sooner, my parents were driving me crazy, and Cody told me about this supposedly rad party… So, I came. I wanted to see what the fuss was all about.”

I bit my lips.

“I kinda wished you had come here to see me.”

I was not very good at flirting but I had to try.

New year, new me, right?

“Oh, really? You’d like that?”

He walked towards me.

I had a silly thought. Did I think of pulling up the zipper of my pants? I hoped so!

“Yeah. I… I enjoyed the little selfie you sent me on Christmas.”

“You did? I wished I had gotten one back.”

He winked at me.

“Sorry about that. But I’m here now.”

“Right next to the urinal, beautiful setting.”

We laughed.

“Very romantic, I know. That’s just my style.”

He put his hands on my shoulders.

“You wanna be romantic?”

Outside, we heard people getting louder.

Here we were. They were counting down the seconds.

“Ten… Nine… Eight…”

“I guess we should both kiss someone at midnight.” I suggested. “Isn’t it part of some kind of traditions?”

I was staring as his big full lips.

Everything was large on that man.

Well, I had not yet seen EVERYTHING, but I had to assume.

“…Seven… Six… Five…”

“But who the hell could I kiss?”

He was playing and I liked that.

I got even closer.

I felt his body heat.

“…Four… Three… Two…”

“I might have an idea…” I whispered.

“Me too.”

“One… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Darius leaned over and kissed me.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and I kissed him back.

Just the right amount of tongue. The sweet taste of his lips. The reassuring muscles holding me tighter.

I would not have switched this kiss in the stinky public restrooms for anything else.

On the other side of the wall, the party was exploding.

People were shouting, laughing, popping balloons and exuding.

Everybody was wishing for a better year than the last.

But Darius and I were in our own world.

It was intimate, it felt right.

I did not want this moment to stop.

2025 was starting off with a bang.