Camera Chameleon - Chapter Two

(Link to Chapter One)

Jess rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stared in confusion at the woman with Alex’s voice.

“What the hell is going on? Who are you?” she demanded.

“It’s me, silly,” the woman said insistently. “Remember that app I told you about last night? Well…” Jess tuned her out, thoughts running wild. I must be dreaming. Or maybe I passed out at the bar, hit my head and this is some crazy drunken hallucination. Maybe I’m bleeding out on the floor of the Twisted Tap right now. Maybe Alex...Alex…

She intensely studied the woman, who was still chattering away a mile a minute and gesturing wildly with what appeared to be Alex’s phone. She was tall and square-shouldered like him, but the face was wrong. Soft and rounded instead of all hard angles and planes. It sounded like Alex, and she had the same shockingly red hair, but it wasn’t him. This isn’t possible. It’s gotta be some trick.

“...and it said I only had 60 minutes, so I wanted to show you befo--” the woman was saying.

“Okay, ‘Alex,’ joke’s over,” Jess said suddenly, cutting her off in mid-sentence. “You found a tall red-headed chick to play along with your little script, using a tiny speaker or some shit to mess with me.”

Jess threw back the sheet she’d been clutching to her chest and stood up, turning her back to the woman and walking over to her dresser.

“Jesus, Jess, you’re naked!”

She froze for a moment, wondering if she was on a hidden camera. Fuck it, she thought. If I am, let him get an eyeful. It’s probably got the quality of a potato, anyway. She dug around in the top drawer then turned to face the woman as she slipped into a pair of underwear.

“That’s what you get for pranking me like this.” She laughed at the astonished woman, who was still staring at her. “Didn’t quite go like you expected, did it, honey? So, who are you? What do you have to say for yourself?” 

The redhead smirked and cocked an eyebrow at her. The look gave Jess goosebumps; it was an expression she’d seen on Alex’s face countless times before. “Nice tits, bitch,” she said. 

Now it was Jess’ turn to stare. She took an involuntary step backward. That was definitely something Alex would say. The woman began undoing the buttons on her shirt. “You showed me yours, so it’s only fair I show you mine,” she continued. Once she reached the bottom button, she pulled the shirt down over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.  

Instead of breasts and curves, there was only the smoothly toned and muscled chest of a man. He unbuttoned his pants, unceremoniously dropping them to his ankles. The bulge of his penis was obvious against the snug fabric of his boxer briefs. Jess drew a ragged breath. None of this made any sense at all.

“Look ma, I’m a real boy!” he exclaimed. Jess watched, speechless, as he turned around slowly in a circle, arms raised. “There are no strings on me,” he sang. The tanned skin of his back was marred by a small scar near his shoulder blade. The sight of it made Jess shiver involuntarily. She remembered when Alex had gotten that scar five years ago, slipping on a dock during a trip to the lake with their friends. She sat down hard, scrambling to keep from sliding off the edge of her bed. This isn’t some chick with Alex’s voice...this IS Alex. What the actual fuck is going on here?

She must have spoken her last thought aloud. Alex gave her a perplexed look as he retrieved his shirt from the floor. “Haven’t you been listening to anything I said? I tried that app I told you about last night, and then this happened.”

Jess looked up at him blankly. “What app?”

He exhaled sharply, clearly exasperated. “For crying out loud, Jess, don’t you remember the gender swap selfies we took last night?” He nodded towards her phone, still on the bed. “Take a look for yourself.”

Jess reached for the phone and opened Snapchat. The most recent picture of Alex was nearly a spitting image of how he looked now. Masculine body, feminine face, red hair tumbling to his shoulders. She swiped her thumb across the screen and gasped softly at the next photo. It was her, in the tight black dress she had worn last night--but with a man’s face and stubble. I don’t remember taking this at all. What else happened last night?

She looked back up at Alex. He had his pants back on and was buttoning up his shirt. “I still don’t understand what’s happening, Alex. What app are you talking about? Did you put on a wig and makeup to look like the picture from last night?”

He pulled a handkerchief from his pants pocket, swiped it across his face, then held it out. It was clean. “No makeup, Jess. No tricks. So. Are you finally ready to listen to me?” She nodded, and his cockeyed smirk returned. “Good...but you might want to put some clothes on first.”

Jess’ jaw dropped as she looked down, suddenly aware that she was only wearing a pair of undies. Oh my God, I’ve been sitting here this whole time with my boobs hanging out in front of him. Blushing furiously, she rushed across the room to her dresser to grab a shirt and some sweatpants.  I know he’s my best friend, and he isn’t interested anyway, but still! She glanced over her shoulder at him, but Alex had turned his back to give her some privacy.

Once she was dressed, Jess sat back down on the edge of her bed. “Okay, you can turn around now.” 

He did, taking a seat next to her. He passed her his phone, tapping on a colorful icon. A grinning, rainbow-colored lizard filled the screen and then was replaced by a camera interface with some sort of countdown timer at the top. “CAMeleon,” Jess read aloud. Alex nodded. “So, I got this app a few days ago. Taking that Snap at the bar last night reminded me that I hadn’t tried it yet. It’s supposed to have some really awesome filters.” He shrugged. “At least, that’s what the reviews on APK Beta said.”

“APK Beta? What’s that?” she asked.

“A site where you can check out apps that haven't been released yet. Developers throw their apps up on APK Beta for people to test and give feedback.”

“So you’re basically like a free guinea pig?” She shook her head. “That sounds like a horrible idea, Alex. Who knows what kind of crap you might be infecting your phone with, what personal information you’re giving them access to.”

He shrugged. “You may be right, but I always check the feedback and what permissions an app wants before I download it. CAMeleon only uses the camera, and it had tons of rave reviews on the site. I wanted to try it before it makes it onto the regular app stores.”

“Whatever. So, what does this have to do with you waking me up looking like your selfie from last night?”

“I’m getting to that. Anyway, I was bored this morning and decided to give it a try. It works like the gender swap lens on Snapchat--but better.” He tapped on the screen, pulling up an interface with various sliders. “First, pick the gender you want. Then you use these to fine-tune the filter, adjusting your face, hair, eyes, et cetera. See?” 

Alex handed her the phone. Jess held it up in front of her, tapping the male symbol. Her face on the screen instantly morphed into a man’s face. A male version of herself. Fascinated, Jess played with the sliders, adjusting her haircut, the shape of her face, and her facial hair. She gave herself a long mountain man beard and burst into a fit of giggles. 

Just as she was about to take the picture, Alex snatched the phone back out of her hands. “Hey!” she protested. “Not so fast, Jess. You need to hear the rest. So,” He took a deep breath. “A little while ago, in the bathroom at my place, I took a picture with the app. Everything went blurry for a second, and I heard a strange sound. Afterwards, I looked like this.” He gestured to his face and hair. 

“At first, I thought I was losing my mind when I looked in the mirror. But then a notification popped up on my phone. It said something like, ‘Congratulations and welcome! Enjoy the next hour in your new CAMeleon look!’ It’s not a joke, Jess. This is real, I swear. The app somehow...changed me.” 

Alex tapped his finger on the countdown timer at the top of the screen, which had less than five minutes left. “I don’t know what happens when this runs out, but I had to come over and show you before it did. And that’s why I’m in your bedroom looking like a young Katherine Hepburn. I know I shouldn’t have just barged in like this.” He posed, leaning back on one arm and speaking in a quavery voice. “But if you obey all the rules, then you miss all the fun, darling.”

Jess stared at him in disbelief. “So, you’re telling me that you took a selfie with CAMeleon, and what...it just magically transformed you to look like the picture?” 

He nodded. “Yup, that’s pretty much the only explanation I’ve got.”

Jess reached out, tugging hard at a lock of his long, red hair. It didn’t budge. If it was a wig, he must have superglued the damn thing to his skull. “How’d you get past your roommate looking like that?” 

“OW!” he exclaimed, rubbing at a spot on his scalp. “Tyson was still asleep when I left.”

She ran a hand across her face. “And how’d you get in here? I know Leslie didn’t let you in.”

“Used the spare key under the flower pot. Sounded like she was in the shower.” 

“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” Jess stood, shaking her head. “This is insane, Alex. An app just can’t do that.” She headed towards the door. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee. You’re playing some elaborate trick on me, I know it.” She paused, looking over her shoulder at him. “And when I get back, I’m going to figure out what it is.” 

She stepped out into the hallway and listened for a moment. Alex was right, it sounded like Leslie was taking a shower. Hopefully it’s a long one. Otherwise, I’m going to have to figure out how to sneak Alex past her. If she sees a guy here, she’ll lose it. Why did the management have to give me a prude for a roommate?

Jess hurried to the kitchen and popped a cartridge into the Keurig. Less than a minute later, the inviting aroma of dark roast coffee filled the air. She poured a little creamer into the mug and silently tiptoed back to her room. 

Shutting the door behind her, she saw Alex doing something on her phone. What is he up to now? He looked up at her as she strode across the room, preparing to give him an earful. But before she could get a word out, Alex’s phone began trilling softly on the bed. The timer. 

They locked eyes as the timer chirped again and then went silent. Nothing happened. She let out a breath that she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Well, the jig’s up, Alex. I hope you’ll--”

BOINK!

Jess jumped, startled by the strange sound--like a rubber ball bouncing--and by what she had just seen. Hot coffee sloshed over her wrist. She barely noticed. In that instant, Alex had...changed. The long red curls and rounded face were gone, and he was back, looking like his normal self again. 

He ran a hand over his face and through his hair, then looked up at her. “Huh,” he said, grinning. “I guess scientific progress really does go ‘BOINK.’”

The cup tumbled from her hand to the floor.