[My Art] The One with a Generational Gap

Ah the Karen, if a lack of empathy had a human face. Working at my local grocery store pharmacy for the last few weeks I'd quickly been brought up to speed that life really isn't like school. In school, most everyone seems to care about the public face. You try and keep a low-profile because standing out is a good way to be a target. At least in my own experience. This Halloween costume of a woman had her card rejected after waiting in line, in her opinion, for far too long. Something she'd already verbalized three times while waiting. "I'm calling the credit card people, there should be $8k on that card." At this point, most people would simply exit the line and make the call. Not her, she's standing right in the way of everyone else. She's quickly turning this into a scene. Never one to turn down an opportunity to showcase the failure of social politesse, I pull out my phone and snap a picture. Right at the moment she turns to look at me. Shit. "Miss! You with the brown hair on your phone! Excuse me." The blonde woman steps towards me. Jake, ever apathetic, motions for the next customer to check-out and ignores this. Probably happy to be done with it. "Y-yes, ma'am?" I'm not normally one to cast judgement based on looks but it's like this woman literally went and found a Karen costume at Party City. The A-line cut, big earrings, the smug aura of superiority, mom jeans, she has it all! "I saw you; you can't take pictures of me without my consent. This may be a free country, but we have a little thing called a right to privacy. I don't care who you are!" Immediately all my worst fears are confirmed. No benefit of the doubt, the immediate authoritarian tone. I guarantee this woman has Live, Laugh, Love written somewhere in her home. Maybe I could just lie? Maybe I don't work here? "Oh sorry, I—" She leans in closer to examine my nametag, "Lea. I'll have you know I'm very familiar with your generation and the Karen bullshit. So what? You trying to record me? Get me fired from my job like all you young people like to do?" Jesus! Her legs must be tired from all the jumping to conclusions she's doing. It was just a dumb picture, I dunno where this bitch works. "No. I just—" "Young lady, you are everything wrong with this country. Do you have any idea who I am? What I'm capable of?" You're supposed to keep your cool in these situations. You're representing a company, after all. I haven't even been here 30 days yet, one complaint and they could fire me without a second thought. But I just couldn't help myself... "Sure I know you. I've met like 15 of you in the last 30 days." For a moment, she doesn't even move. Literally frozen in place in bewildering rage. I on the other hand have no such issue, quickly backing away while excusing myself. There's a lot of employees here. Maybe she'd forget my name? Oh geeze, why'd I say that? I pick up the pace, walking a lazy square around the perimeter of the grocery. Swallowing hard, I just know in the next 10 minutes my manager is gonna buzz me on my phone. For someone that talked about getting someone fired, she definitely looked the type to complain to management. 5 minutes pass, then 10. No buzz, no problems. I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn the corner at the dairy section, entering the small alcove where the bathrooms are. If anyone asks, I just had to pee. All good. Can just forget this ever happened. While washing my hands in the empty restroom, the door opens to my left. "Hi, Lea. Remember me?" By the time I register the voice, everything goes dark. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No! This can't be happening. The world around me is pitch black. Undulating and sickeningly wet, slimy, and hot. And my god the smell. My body feels cramped and any attempts to move takes a massive amount of effort. The reality of the situation was beginning to set in. I have to get out of here. I'm not living up this bitch's ass! Gripping the slick walls around me I drag myself forward. There is no light, I just have to prey I don't manage to get turned around. Little by little, my upper body strength proves steady, and I find the end of this narrow passage. My hands fumble against the slick surface until they find an opening. Sticking my arm through, it's much cooler on the other side. Without hesitation I stick my head through as well. ~ "Oh. Looks like somebody already wants out." I focus on the road ahead of me as I turn on my right turn signal. Barely even able to pay attention to the song on the radio with all the fun little Lea was providing right now. Looks like she was gonna be a fighter. Normally it takes about an hour before the shock wears off and they start crawling. It's gonna be fun playing with her. I lift to one side and welcome her to the outside world with another fart. "We're almost home. Well... you're already home in there. I mean my home." Pulling into the driveway I honk the horn to let everyone know it's time to bring in groceries. After unbuckling my seatbelt, I quickly thrust a hand into my pants and find the top of Lea's head. "You're gonna be momma's little secret, okay?" I shove her in as deeply as I can just as my husband and daughters shamble out to help. Couldn't risk my girls hearing any funny noises. "Hey mom, how was your trip? Did you get me an energy drink?" I shake my head, "No sweetie, you know those things are bad for you. Now grab a few things and help me get them in." "Have any trouble?" My husband hoists the 24 pack of water bottles over his shoulder as he kisses me on the cheek. "Not much, hey babe. Be honest. Do I look like a 'Karen'?" He shakes his head and laughs. "You look like my wife named Diane to me." "No way, mom. You're totally a Karen! You gotta cut your hair!" Ever honest, my girls exchange giggles between one another as their father tells them to shush. Stupid teenagers. I excuse myself as they start putting things away. Momma needs her buttplug to keep little Lea in check. She's going CRAZY in there.