Fanfiction Fridays - Of Love And Lard In Baldur's Gate

My pretties, I have another spicy tale from the worlds of D&D for you all~

While I've written a lot of weight gain stories set in the world of Baldur's Gate 3, this one remains my favorite for how short and sweet it is. I love all the romanceable companions in this game, but have a soft spot for Karlach.

Download the attachment below for the whole story. In the meantime, here's a little preview~

Preview:

Late one night in a manor in the Upper City of Baldur’s Gate, two friends had a conversation over wine.

A rather one sided conversation.

“Darling, let me get this straight,” Astarion said, sipping from his gilded goblet of ‘wine’. “Our fearless leader and erstwhile companion Tav has declared her love for you. She’s helped you get that thing in your chest fixed. She’s even asked you to live with her in a well appointed, if predictably tacky, villa in the Lower City…and yet you’re here asking me for advice on how to keep her?”

Sitting across from Astarion was Karlach. The red-skinned tiefling woman nodded. She’d already drunk through several goblets of wine, trying to find the courage to ask Astarion for this advice.

“I mean…when you put it that way…” she said sheepishly, “it does sound a bit rubbish. I just…you don’t understand! She’s wonderful! She’s strong and kind and probably the only one of our lot who could kick my ass, and you have no idea how hot that is! And I feel like I’m going to lose her!”

Karlach laid her head on Astarion’s grand dining room table, letting her horns clunk against the fine mahogany. The white haired vampire spawn winced.

“Aren’t there other members of our merry little band of Bhall smashers you could ask about this?” Astarion asked, to which Karlach gave him a sour look.

“I did. They’re no help. Gale went on and on about poetry, Will and Shadowheart said I had nothing to worry about, Lae’zel…heh, bless her, told me I just needed to ‘bone her down’ hard enough to get her to submit. Funny, but not the best advice. The only one who gave me halfway decent advice was Halsin.” Karlach said, exasperated.

“And what, praytell, did the bear suggest you do?” Astarion smirked over his wine.

Karlach pouted. “He said to talk to you!”

Astarion groaned. “Ugh, alright. While I’m positive you really have nothing to worry about, if you’re so concerned about tying Tav down…” he turned thoughtful for a moment. “Hmm…I’d say to get her pregnant, but since you’re both…you know…”

Karlach sighed. “She means the world to me, and I owe her so much, y’know?”

“Perhaps you should give her something back, then? Mind you, the only thing I remember our fearless leader being truly passionate about other than heroism was…food and eating. Gods, she could really pack it away.” Astarion said, trailing off.

But Karlach looked up, confused but inspired. “You’re saying I should feed Tav? What, like, cook for her?”

Astarion snapped his fingers and nodded. “Precisely! Treat her to a banquet of your own making! After all, some say the best path to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. And many lasting relationships are ones where one or more partners grow fat together, so…why not you and Tav?”

Karlach blinked, then nodded. “Yeah…yeah, I think you’re onto something! I’ll do it! I-I gotta get back to the villa and practice cookin’!”

With that, Karlach stood up abruptly, knocking over her chair as she ran out, waving goodbye to Astarion as she went. The vampire drained his goblet, watching her go.

“Well…Zariel certainly didn’t recruit her for her brains.” he muttered. “But I’m sure this will work out fine.”