It's interesting that while it's totally not Xander's fault what happened, several of his actions sort of came from Xander's personality? Like his attraction to Buffy, and his apparent awareness of Willow's crush on him ("until Willow stops kidding herself that I'd settle for anyone but you"). Again, that doesn't make it Xander's fault, it's just an interesting choice to make Hyena Xander have an extreme and grotesque form of Xander's impulses. All the Buffy lore is just so fun to think about.
Also, Willow crying = me crying, every time.