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September Newsletter: Back to School

September always feels like a beginning to me. It must be all those years of school - a new step on the ladder, a new set of classes and classmates, sometimes a new and unfamiliar campus to learn. I remember the icy dread on those fall mornings - an alarm clock going off far earlier than seemed reasonable, a procession of washing, dressing, and eating that was timed to the minute, and getting in my dad’s car or to the bus stop with the sun only just starting to rise. Then the unearthly fluorescent glow as I entered the school halls - could I even remember my locker combination this morning? Was there homework I was forgetting? What was going to happen today?

I was never without anxiety in school; I’m surprised at how fond my memories of it are in retrospect. My dad, remembering my early years in elementary school, mentioned that I prayed to like school more. It seems like my prayers were answered, because the setting of a classroom always makes me feel more comfortable now. A lot of what I dreaded then I enjoy now - waking up before the sun, having a full and challenging day, and, especially, feeling like I’m learning something new, that there is a path I’m just starting out on.

There are stakes in school. There are right and wrong answers, and there is a level you are expected to perform at. Certainly the expected levels should always be achievable - and these days, it seems like often they are not. But when they are, even if there is stress at the daily efforts to keep your chin above the bar, the fight to reach the level makes you a fuller and richer person, on a level that goes beyond the specific subject you’re learning. 

Life in this world is never without stress. What I’ve found is that it’s not so much about seeking out a stress-free environment as it is about learning to operate with peace and patient endurance in the midst of stress. That is the major subject of all of our lives, and school is a good place to begin to instill us with this practice. The fight to get through each level changes you, and it’s that fighting spirit that becomes the most alive part of you as you go on.

How is everyone feeling about school (who's going)?

Comments

I started school at the start of september but I've been putting off reading this letter for a while now simply because I forgot loll. I genuinely dislike school so much. Its always so loud in the classroom because of the few boys who just dont care (I wish they didnt come into school, they suck). My school friends are pretty cool though, they can be a bit much at 7 in the morning, but it's not too bad. I like learning, and I also like having a proper schedule I can follow!✌️I just really dread the people at my school. They suck. Oh yeah and I have to wake up sooooooooo early in the morning. I hate that. :(

veryevilalfie

hey, longtime comics artist in the diy scene, first time csh fan haha. i was one semester away from a philosophy/english double degree. i was angrily in love. like i was spiritually treating nietzsche, sartre, shakespeare, etc’s texts like they were dykes to watch out for. it was fucking awesome. then pretty much everything that could go wrong did, short of losing my house and cat. i am talking about things people usually only engage with in the form of greek myth or pain star metaphors… personally im more of a margaret cavendish fan. if you like fanfiction but not her then maybe you're a fake fan. anyway im debating venting at my camus scholar friend because bitch (respectfully) i am having a hard time imagining my own sissyfeets happy (“one must imagine sisyphus happy”.) i guess i was sort of mixing metaphors between sisphus and atlas, but, i miss my family. im probbaly one of the only trannys in the world with the means and spite to get through law school…but that was before, when i wasnt waiting for godot. (slash before i lost my family for reasons i could not explain.) now i have to move on. :( im definitely gonna be at the the show in boston tho. PS the scholars is my favori.

harris


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