CO-VIDs: the semiotics of "cuck" (early access)

So...I'm guessing there's backstory where Nick Offerman is concerned that's non-obvious to the outer reaches of the Ian Danskin-verse...?

Jacque Marshall

You sir. *applauds* Within the first two minutes I had so much more context and understanding of the obsession with this term than I'd had before. It was like a huge: OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! moment for me. And also, I legit bring you to mind as proof that not all hope is lost when I'm dealing with some white dude-bro type who is entirely invested in his ignorance at all costs. BLESS YOU.

Kait Hatch

They sound pretty tortured and extremely ignorant of the diversity of choice. I honestly don't understand why your (or anyone's) private life choices are a threat to their life choices. Isn't real freedom getting to decide what you want out of life and surrounding yourself with others who want the same things? Why can't they just move along? Your choices don't make theirs wrong. If I like broccoli and you hate it, just more for me. It seems weird that they don't realize that you aren't offended or threatened by their choice. As you so eloquently said, "It's none of their business."

Julie Sloane

I love this approach of not giving air to the accusers and their arguments specifically but instead deconstructing the reason they ended up there.

This is great Ian!! You don't need me to tell you this!! Going to say it anyway!! It's great!!

Ryan Aston

This is such serendipitous timing with the Falwell Jr scandal becoming public this week, and raising that Politico article from the Kinsey researcher who found Republicans fantasize more about cuckoldry scenarios. The right really loves projecting all their insecurities and other bullshit... Anywhoodles, glad to here you are also poly - thank you for speaking so eloquently on the matter.

The Mad Jay Woman

Also, I wanted to ask, will you be posting the script to this one on your Tumblr anytime? I ask because I have a partner who'd probably find the subject interesting, but she doesn't have much patience for video essays but will dutifully read anything she thinks will give her a better insight into the otherwise confounding.

Colin Ferguson

Polyamory crowd!! Man. I smiled so much during this. ☺️

Nikki

Thanks Ian, was definitely not a term I was going to waste time searching, so as always, I appreciate your deep and concise insight :)

JamesBergCanada

Exceptional analysis as always.

Anarch Ion

At 13:46 you mentioned people who keyword search on Twitter to pick fights - I once got targeted this way when I said that I believed Rebecca Vitsmun's allegations against David Silverman. It was at least a couple of months between my tweet and anyone saying anything - which means these guys made a point of looking for people with my point of view so they could pick a fight. Kinda sad but I'm glad my assessment was right.

AaronRobertoMusic

It'd be a shame to lose that song as the outro, for sure. I remember seeing a lot of this with Jim Sterling, the kind of gleeful 'Can you believe that this guy we hate is a literal cuck? This validates our opinions if it takes a literal cuckold to disagree with them.' Something you didn't touch on much, which may not have been necessary (I don't think you need to add it to the vid) but might be significant, is that a lot of what they project onto you is their fear of how they would be in a polyamorous relationship: incapable of attracting, let alone handling, more than one woman at one time and therefore doing nothing more than waiting around for their partner to be done with her partners. That's the only way they can imagine polyamory working out for themselves and that anxiety drives them to project it onto you. Anyway, great vid; you sound like you're having some fun.

Richard Jackson

I really like this. It reads a little like your ARPB series, but it also goes into a lot of personal experience and reflection that you (as you have pointed out) normally limit in your videos. I think in this case, that personal experience also helps make the analysis resonate more clearly, though that may just be my own experience as a progressive man on the internet who's been in a stable polycule for nearly a decade making that similarity more salient in this context.

Colin Ferguson

friggin youtube

Ian Danskin

Pretty good! I was hoping for more on the Alt-Right's adoption of the term as an, imo, deliberately invasion meme playing on the insecurities of incels but really that's mostly covered. And whathisbeard's statement that "happiness is for cucks" is really that perspective breaking from cover. It's like saying "the Castle Doctrine is real life! All men are predators! All women are betrayers! Life is lived, shotgun in hand, as you invade and are invaded until the great uninstall of your life!" It's like Dumber Conan. Conan is an icon of "Paleomasculinity" in all caps but despite the violence, sexism, racism, and everything else the man is happy. That's his entire point -killing, stealing, bangin' wenches and BY CROM are living a full life. Not "do all those things out of tradition and you are only happy when you die." That's way more like 300. Those are also all terrible ideas but at least Conan has his priorities straight. As for the point of trying to get you, Ian, to (lol) "straighten up" the value of converting you would be immense. You break the spell of their normal -no, their necessary. If you're right they're fools in the footsteps of fools, slaves too broken to even feel their shackles, men without courage in the most fundamental struggle of all: personal liberty. They'd be "cucking" themselves.

Berettadin

Denmark - I’m on my phone, I cam debug and try on my computer too

Vincent Aaskov

that's... weird. what country? it shouldn't be blocked anywhere...

Ian Danskin

‘The video is not available in your contry’ Damn :(

Vincent Aaskov

welp. that's probably staying.

Ian Danskin

There's a typo at 10:44 (*is wife). I apologize for saying this.

but I genuinely don't care. it's not that I don't value their opinion (though I don't). there is *nobody* who could call me a cuck that would make it an insult. I'd rather be honest and then anticipate their response than make an argument that "plays better" to people whose opinions don't matter.

Ian Danskin

affirming poly was *a little bit* a goal :)

Ian Danskin

Honestly, it's good to hear you talking about polyamory. Not because I want to know the details of your life, but because you cut to the heart of so much of why people are so scared of it and as a poly lady who gets a lot of flack about it, it felt nice to hear someone whose opinion I respect ask "why would I leave?". I know the goal wasn't really about affirming poly, but it was nice :)

Pixie Plays

I wonder if the section at 6:35 would be strengthened by saying that you don't value their opinion, rather than saying you don't care. Like you point out, saying you 'don't care' undermines your position somewhat. I'm sure you have a line like this in a draft, or maybe you prefer it the way it is (or don't want to fiddle with the video any more).

Matt Cramp

Anticipating at maximum. Cuck is a such a _nakedly_ rancid term and yet nobody goddamn blinks!

Berettadin