Phoenix under the Umbrella (Umbrella Academy AU) Chapter 41: High as Balls

[Third Person's PoV] 


As Klaus wiped his tears, he inhaled the last bit of the second dosage of weed Nathan had crafted. “Nathan, can you just take me home? I really need a bath, and I don’t want to do it here.”


“Klaus... I’m high as balls right now. I don’t think I can properly teleport us…”


“C'mon... you're the strongest guy alive, right? What could possibly go wrong?” Klaus chuckled.


Nathan blinked, his eyes red and droopy. “You know what, you’re right. I am the strongest. Nothing’s going to go wrong…”


“Atta boy, that’s the confident brother I know and love…”


Nathan grabbed Klaus and pulled him up from the bed. “Home, here we come…”



---


Back home:


Everyone had just finished eating. “What’s taking Nathan so long?” Vanya asked with concern.


“He did say he’d be back quickly...” Ben added, looking puzzled.


“Maybe something’s wrong with Klaus?” Luther guessed, starting to worry.


As if summoned by their words, a portal materialized above the table, and Klaus and Nathan came crashing down, smashing the table in half. Everyone jumped back in shock.


Their mouths hung open as they stared at the wrecked table. In the middle of it, Klaus and Nathan lay groaning in pain, laughing hysterically and gasping for air.


“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!” Allison shouted angrily.


Nathan and Klaus were laughing too hard to respond. Luther leaned closer to sniff the air around them.


“Is that... is that weed?” Luther asked, his expression turning furious. He grabbed both of them by their shirts and lifted them into the air.


Five eyed them suspiciously, focusing more on Nathan. “Nathan... how high are you?”


“Hi, I’m good! How are you?” Nathan replied, giving Five a thumbs-up.


“I’m 6'0," Klaus chimed in, raising his hand.


“No, Klaus, he was asking how we are…”


“No, I’m pretty sure he was asking about our height,” Klaus said confidently.


“Seriously?” Nathan asked, looking at Klaus, confused.


“Trust me on this,” Klaus nodded.


“If you say so…” Nathan then turned to Five. “I’m 6’3.”


Everyone groaned and covered their faces in exasperation.


“I expected this from Klaus, but Nathan? He’s the last person I’d expect to do drugs…” Allison said, shaking her head in disbelief.


Vanya sighed before taking a deep breath. “Phoebe! Nathan’s on drugs!!”


Everyone flinched as Vanya amplified her voice, which echoed throughout the house.


“YOU SNITCH!” Nathan yelled, glaring at Vanya. “Betrayed by my own sister! What kind of monster throws their own family to the wolves?!”


“Ahem.”q0


Nathan froze, hearing a throat clear behind him. They all turned to see Phoebe standing there with a raised eyebrow and her hand on her hip.


Nathan stretched out his arms like a baby wanting to be carried. “My love, oh how I missed you.”


“You can let go of me now, Luther,” Klaus grumbled, trying to smack Luther’s hand away.


Phoebe sighed and nodded. “Let them go, Luther…” She waved her hand, and the table repaired itself, returning to its previous state.


Luther set them down, and Klaus began walking off, scratching his back. Five narrowed his eyes at Klaus suspiciously and quietly followed him.


Meanwhile, Nathan hugged Phoebe tightly. “I love you so much…”


He puckered his lips toward her. “Can I get a kiss…?”


Phoebe grabbed his face and started dragging him away. “Not while you smell like that…”


“What the hell is going on?” Ben asked, looking between everyone in confusion.


“Honestly, your guess is as good as ours…” Vanya muttered, still looking worried.


Phoebe dragged Nathan toward their room and shut the door behind them. She pushed him onto the bed, where he landed with a thud.


“Oooh, getting freaky, are we? I like this…”


“Nathan, talk to me honestly. Why are you high?” Phoebe asked, looking at him in confusion. She knew him better than anyone and could tell this was something completely out of character for him.


Nathan's expression grew weary for a moment before he closed his eyes. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, he remained quiet, his lips twisting in contemplation.


Phoebe was about to ask again but stopped when she saw him open his mouth to speak. His voice cracked as he said, "It's Klaus... He's, umm... He's hurting... Hurting really bad."


Nathan bit down on his bottom lip as his lips twisted again.


Phoebe was taken aback when she saw tears pooling in Nathan's eyes, and how hard he was trying to keep them from falling.


"As soon as I got close to him earlier, I felt it. I felt all the pain and grief he’s carrying. It was heartbreaking... He’s already suffered so much because of what our father did to him.


And now, he had a chance to be happy for once. He was so happy and in love—you should’ve seen how he talked about him, the one he fell in love with. But then, just like that, happiness was ripped from his hands again. Out of all of us, Klaus deserved happiness the most. He deserved to find someone... It's so unfair this happened to him," Nathan said, his expression shifting into anger.


Phoebe ran her fingers through her hair. "First things first, let's get you sobered up," she said, touching Nathan's forehead.


His red, droopy eyes began to clear as he blinked rapidly. His cheeks flushed slightly as he sat on the edge of the bed, legs hanging over the side, leaning forward to hide his face. "Well, that was embarrassing."


Phoebe scoffed in amusement before setting fire to the lingering smell of weed. She pushed him to sit upright, then straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.


Pressing her forehead against his, she smirked. "I think you're forgetting something..."


"What?" Nathan asked.


Phoebe's eyes began to glow as her red hair turned fiery. She kissed him on the lips before grinning. "I’m the Phoenix Force, and you’re its host. Nothing can stop us when we want something. You want your brother to be happy again? Then let's make it happen. You know the way."


As she spoke, Phoebe turned into energy and merged with Nathan, leaving him with fiery, glowing hair and bright, glowing eyes.


Nathan smirked, “I suppose you're right…” He muttered before vanishing in a wisp of fire.


...


Klaus sank deeper into the bathtub, exhaling as he leaned his head back against the edge with his eyes closed. But as they shut, his body began to tremble. He could hear gunfire, explosions, the sound of large vehicles, and his own voice screaming Dave's name.


He shot up from the bath, gasping for air, his breath ragged. Holding his head in pain, he gritted his teeth. "God damn it!"


After a while, Klaus sighed, stood up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and began walking out, wetting the floor with his footsteps.


“Klaus, what’s wrong?”


“Ahhhh!” Klaus flinched and instinctively punched Five across the face.


"OW!" Five yelled, holding his face in shock. “What the hell?”


Klaus, breathing heavily, stared at him in surprise. "Don't sneak up on me like that—I almost punched you..."


"You did punch me, you asshole!"


"Right... Sorry about that," Klaus muttered, scratching his arm and back as he walked away.


Five massaged his face, glaring at Klaus. "You did it, didn’t you?"


“Did what?” Klaus asked, looking at Five in confusion.


“Time travel. You’re showing all the symptoms: the constant itching and scratching, the splitting headaches, the jumpiness. I’ve been there before. Those are the same symptoms I dealt with. So you really did time travel."