Store in Danmachi- Side Story: 7

A/N: So the ages of all the danmachi cast in this timeline (two years prior) are the same as their canon ones. So, Lili is 15 already and will be 17 two years later. But the only exception is Ais, who is 14, and a year younger than Lili and Lefiya. I didn’t change Ais’ age since she already has some time-traveling shenanigans. But the rest of the cast will be two years older by the time of canon. Their levels and experience don’t fall under the same au rule.

***

Title: The Secret Gentleman Society

“Oh?” is all the famous Sword Princess could respond to when meeting a bevy of beautiful employees behind the counter as she stuffs her portion of Bento boxes inside her frollet.

“What ‘OH?’?” Gasps Loki as she slams her hand on the counter, demanding loudly, “The second we stop fucking—he gets more women?! I love that reasoning~! Gue-hehehehe~ Rose-chan~! Give me some head pats!” Loki displays a level of mortal athleticism expected of her flat ass as she snickers and jumps into the redheaded werewolf’s embrace, “I can’t wait to share our beds~!”

Loki sees Jackal harem as an absolute win!

But her body is stuck in midair while Lili, Eina, Misha, and Rose stare at her weirdly.

“I can fly?” Loki blinks, slowly craning her head back to see a pissed Riveria.

Lefiya, Ais…, and Eina slightly shiver as they take notice of Riveria’s stony expression. And Anya starts trembling for no reason as she sticks her head against Loid’s fluffy body.

“Loki, what did we say before leaving?”

“We’re here to complete the expedition’s final preparations,” Loki gulps. Riveria is more pissed than usual for some reason. But the Familia’s captain doesn’t lash out just yet. She calmly nods and places Loki down before adjusting Loki’s collar with a mirthful expression. “You know what else, right?”

Loki knew she fucked up as her shoulders dropped.

‘Jackal, my hung Svadilfari, save my ass by attracting all the aggro from the Nine Beefness!’ She whines but isn’t reckless or stupid enough to state things out loud.

“Here is your package,” Lili shrugs and smiles at Tione. It’s strange. Jackal left the premise with Hermes and Takemikazuchi without informing anything to anyone!

“Thanks~! I don’t know when he will return but tell him I’m really grateful for cooking so much for our expedition and,” Tione looks into the package, seeing numerous aphrodisiac potions, “This~! Hna~! Captain Finn might get thirsty, right?!”

Lili rolls her eyes as she eyes Ais.

“What?”

“My Gemling?” Ais tilts her head as gazes of Misha, Rose, and Eina converge on Lili.

“Jackal-sama didn’t leave any!”

“Ooh, that’s a big, fat lie,” Loki licks her dry lips, “What happened, Oshiri-chan? Ye jealous?” The vermilion-haired Goddess tiptoes behind Ais, smiling widely, “Jealous of me and MY Ais?”

Lili narrows her eyes before she snorts. “I told you I don’t have any.”

“Um, before things get worse, can Lefiya and I get our bento?” Tiona smiles, breezing through the impending conflicts of the short stacks as she looks at Misha.

“Yeah!” Misha nods as she nudges Rose’s shoulder, who retrieves two more Frollets from the counter.

“Yay! Thanks~!” Tiona smiles widely, handing Lefiya her frollet before tying her frollet around her waist.

“Gemlings?” Ais speaks again as Lili sighs with a gentle smile. “Hah~! Who am I kidding? Jackal-sama said I need to distribute the Gemlings appropriately today. So, I shared the entire jar with the orphanage.” Her chestnut eyes narrow with delight as Ais’ expression stiffens. The spectators on the sideline watch with muted sighs in their hearts—except Loki.

“So sorry,” Lili smiles cutely. But Ais swears she sees a disturbing red glint flash past the pallum’s intense gaze. “Are you going to snatch the Gemlings from children?”

Ais frowns before lowering her head contemplatively.

“I’m a child,” speaks the 14-year-old girl as she unsheathes her ‘superior’ Saber. “I’ll ask them to share.”

Everyone’s jaw drops as Lefiya quickly grabs Ais’ arm, gasping worriedly, “Y-you can’t, Ais-san!” Although Lefiya uses honorifics, she is a year older than the wanter Sword Princess.

“But sharing is good,” Ais tilts her head.

“Not without a sword, it isn’t!” Tione chuckles, flicking her index across Ais’ forehead as the blonde girl looks at her hand, confused—“When did I draw Desperate?”

Even Lili is speechless—she underestimated her rival. But one thing is for sure as she meets Ais’ gaze—‘Hah! The Stupid Princess finally realizes how much I mean to Jackal-sama! That’s right! I’m going to fight as many as I can and protect Jackal-sama! And he will surely punish Lili for being a bad girl!’

“Where is he?” Riveria sighs and questions curiously.

“He didn’t tell anyone,” Eina frowns. “He left with Hermes and Takemikazuchi—”

Humble Jackal’s door is pushed open by a completely covered brown-haired Chienthrope, who frowns the second she looks at the female population before questioning, “Is Miach here? He left saying he had some business with Jackal a while ago.”

Everyone looks at each other.

It can’t be good, right?

“C-could it be,” Loki gasps as her narrow eyes widen for once, “Jackal is like me for real! He loves men and wome—”

“Nope,” Lili scoffs as she imagines the scene without shame.

“Not possible,” Eina sighs, the tip of her pointed ears turning red.

“It’s fine if we have some boundaries,” Rose calmly closes her eyes, not judging her former junior.

“S-so hot~!” Misha trills.

“I won’t let him look at Captain!” Tione clenches her fist. Surely! Her sweet Captain is in danger if the ‘Monstrous’ Butcher swings that way, right? How could her tiny captain fit all that?!

“Eh-ehehe?” Tiona chuckles wryly, “I don’t think that’s the case. But it’s fine, right? Aren’t those guys friends already? Maybe they are having some fun.”

“W-what kind of fun?” Lefiya covers her heated face, her sparkling blue eyes visible from the gap of her fingers.

“You guys have too much free time,” Riveria shakes her head as her toes squirm slightly within her boots.

“Is something the matter?” Ais looks around weirdly.

“Nothing,” Naaza’s lips twitch. “Coming here was a mistake.”

“Hehe, took words right out of Jackal’s and the rest’s mouths once they finish their ‘fun’~!” Loki snickers.

*Woof*

A bark from Loid attracts their attention as he brings an unconscious Anya by picking her up with a gentle bite.

“Did something happen?” Eina frowns as she picks Anya up and starts checking her situation, not knowing the trauma the poor kitten faced before passing out.

---

“Gentlemen,” Jackal takes a deep breath, addressing the immense crowd in a gloomy environment. Four dark-grey brick walls and a concrete roof hide the keen group from the public’s notice. Dark-brown robes cover every individual’s body, and a white mask keeps everyone’s identity a secret, slightly muffling their voices. The aura of the Divine lingers on a few men present in the group aside from Hermes, Miach, and Takemikazuchi beside him. His powerful voice attracts everyone’s attention.

“You’re all aware why you are here,” He calmly states the truth. “Others consider our dreams twisted and fickle—laced with wanton desires! But you and I know it’s not lust that drives us but the need to understand perfection!” One must know their sales pitch before selling a product, and while Jackal cannot sell this product in his name before a Pervert’s label covers his name—he can surely expand another name and reputation.

Jackal learned from his past family that there are no such things as eternal enemies in a business since his family sold firearms to many rivals for funds! So, he wasn’t opposed to commissioning Hermes to set this up.

And wouldn’t it be such a shame to keep ‘this’ product hidden? Eina, Rose, Lili, and others may not understand the value of this product. But these men here?—They do. Even the usually calm and composed Miach and Take aren’t unaware of manly troubles after accepting mortal hides.

‘Butterfree Era became a game changer for my store after I kept the price ceiling to 13000 Valis. Others are constantly bugging me to restart the item’s sale since Olal’s stunt, but I would rather keep Butterfree Era unavailable for now. Then Braver made sure the increase in Frollet’s price matched its popularity. That really was a lucky meeting in the Dungeon. And now this item. Its use is questionable no matter how formal my words are, but does that matter? As long it sells, all is well!’

“I-is it really perfect?” A voice questions meekly as Jackal’s hidden gaze falls over the man. He promises with a deep voice, “It is. It’s not a homemade Sloppy Joe.

Jackal retrieves an item from his pouch as a golden sheen brightens the gloomy room stuffed with a damp, ‘basement’ scent. Others gulp as the brilliant item reflects in their eyes, their fists clench in anticipation as they observe a glimmering gold—questionably THICK sock.

It’s the item Jackal made from the Jack Bird.

Jack Bird is known for three things—the rarest monster on the upper floors, a sure-fire million-valis golden egg, and utter escape speed!

Jackal was quite troubled with this item because the sock didn’t come in pairs—and its use—well, let’s say it worked a man’s mind quite a bit. He only hypothesized its usage just before his first date with Eina and Rose.

He silently shoves his arm inside the sock as it stretches wide and fits snugly around his burly arm.

“It is stretchable!” Jackal asserts and imbues his Mind into the item as the sock’s surface vibrates.

“It squirms!” He grunts before he uses his other hand to grip the material around his forearm and slide it up and down his arm!

“And it doesn’t work like an actual cloth but muscles and flesh inside!”

The actual use of the item is to wear it as socks and increase one’s speed to escape from strong enemies since the vibration of the commodity has a ‘sliding’ effect on the roughest surface, and the thick material inside out doesn’t wear out!

Others gulp again before a weak voice mumbles, “Bold of you to assume we care about the product’s superb stretchability. Do you think we have bonafide arms down there?”

Jackal smiles kindly behind his mask.

“Let me demonstrate!” Hermes smiles, speaking with his casual whimsy hidden by the stuffy mask.

He retrieves his Golden Sock and a pen.

“This is a tool crafted to a magical perfection! Its design is unknown to the likes of ‘Dea Saint’ Airmid and ‘Perseus’ Asfi! Look!” He imbues his Mind into the sock as it clamps around the pen!

“This item is only one of the many wonders the Great Hildisvini intends to introduce Orario to!” Hermes claims a name on the spot, which wasn’t really part of the plan.

‘But hey, it saves me from thinking of one. Hmm, Hildisvine? Where have I heard it before?’ Jackal muses and lets Hermes continue the meeting of their newfound, exclusive Gentlemen Club, where Jackal intends to introduce other weird products he may create later.

Takemikazuchi and Miach look at each other as they hear the name Hermes gifts Jackal’s new persona with. A faint glimmer of regret assailing them as they realize the God of Messenger may have something out for them! They aren’t the only ones who feel this way. Other male deities in the crowd blink in surprise as they hear the name before glancing at Jackal strangely, wondering who the man is behind the hood and the mask!

Anyway, Jackal brought Hermes to close the deal since he was the one to set the meeting and the location, while Take and Miach would act as other ‘satisfied’ customers. But Jackal soon steps forward, feeling Hermes’ sales pitch a little lacking.

“All you need to do is that while it will never replace the touch and companionship of a partner, it is a must-have perfect release in any expedition!” Jackal claims proudly. “This is a one-time purchase for all your physical needs. As for other services? Fuck Ishtar’s whores and other brothels! Only pay if they have a genuine game! Tits and pussy won’t suppress you any longer! Men, believe me when I say this—even those oppressive Goddesses of Sex, Love, and Beauty won’t come close to the customization of this sock! Why? Because they are just as mortal as you and as imperfect!”

Hermes tries to stop Jackal as he realizes the play the unscrupulous storekeeper was about to initiate—the behemoth he was about to badmouth his product!

But it is in vain! The newly dubbed Hildisvine grins behind his mask, his eyes laced with pride! “Men!” He growls in the way a victorious commander would lead his men into a battle of the end!

“My sock has the most incredible diva of sex—Freya—”

‘Oh, no.’ Hermes, Take, and Miach mutter internally.

“—beat!”

Silence descends before the crowd erupts in a loud clamor!

‘And just like that, a new defining product is born,’ Jackal muses with pride and satisfaction. ‘The Era of Butterfree will raise Jackal’s name while Golden Freya Destroyer will raise Hildisvine’s name.’

He then blinks.

‘Fuck, I remember what Hildisvine means.’

He glances at his defeated troops of Deity before his shoulders drop.

‘Oh, fuck.’

---

Everything happens for a reason, and Hermes’ actions are born of reasons of their own.

“Hermes,” the charming voice sends a shiver down his spine as the newly dubbed Golden Freya Destroyer sits on a round glass table between the blonde God and a silver-haired fox clad in a rather revealing black, pink-petalled dress!

“I can explain—” Hermes clears his throat. Maybe he bit more than he can chew? But the commissions were too favorable, and Hermes could fulfill the Diva’s and Jackal’s objective at once! How could he turn away a part in Jackal’s underground business and play a hearty matchmaker to muddy the waters?

But the Goddess cuts his words off before he can finish, “I paid you to make him MY ride, too. Hmm. Hildisvine is a fitting name. Better than something as uncouth as Svadilfari. But what is MY Hildisvine doing saying things like a mere synthetic sock is better than ME!”

Hermes can handle her anger. Truly! Her anger alone isn’t of much fear—it’s the others’ anger roused by her rage—which makes Hermes shudder as he looks beyond the Goddess to see a seething Orario’s King. And he is not pleased due to his mother’s mood.

Hermes looks between the sock and the Goddess before considering if he will survive the fall from the top of Babel since that feels like a welcoming option.

“If I may,” Hermes squeezes a disheartened chuckle. This business is too risky! “It gives you a chance to prove him wrong. And when you do, he will openly declare his product is no match for his true mistress.”

Hermes thought he knew the Goddess well enough to understand that even imaginary control over Jackal would please her.

He was wrong.

“Do you think I want to enslave and charm him?” Her charming voice turns disastrously cold as Hermes’ brows sink. ‘Dear, what do you want me to say? Just talk to him and court him normally instead of troubling everyone else!’

***

Alternative Title: Loki Loves Fucking Jackal and Fondling Girls—The Best Harem Mate If Any!; Loki: My Hung Horsie, If You Don’t Get More Chicks, I Will!; Lili Becoming The True End Boss For the Sword Princess!; Ais: Gemlings? *Watches Lili T-Bagging the Candies*; Ais About To Throw Proper Hands With Children For Her True Right!; Ais Sees An Orphan With A Gemling: So You Have Chosen Death; Jackal’s Weird Tastes?; Anya Getting a Daily Dose of Yaoi Trauma!; The Secret Male Society; Soma Sad For Being Left Out; Sad Soma Noises; There Are No Eternal Enemies—Jackal, The Pocket Pussy Entrepreneur; The True Use of a Sock; A Divine Sales Pitch; Freya’s Silent Resistance Against the Title of Svadilfari; The Chances of Being Called a Horse and a Pig Are Small But Never Zero; Jackal: If I had a Cent For Every Time I’m Called A Divine Beast, I’d Have Two Cents. It’s Not a Lot, But It’s Weird It Happened Twice; Hermes, Take, And Miach: Ah Shit, He Compared The Pocket Pussy to The OG One; Jackal Raising Sexual Flags; The Underground Fucker—Hildisvine!; The New Era of Sex Toys Is Here!; Orario’s Underground King Rises; Jackal Competing With All Brothels Without Putting Out; A New Must-Have For the Dungeon Expeditions; Let’s Wait For the Braver To Increase the Price of This One, Too!; Hermes After Taking Two Jobs: The Risk I Took Was Calculated, But Boy Am I Bad At Math; Freya is Not Pleased; *Freya Exists* The Golden Freya Destroyer—Look What She Must Do To Achieve A Fraction of My Might!; Freya’s True Rival in Her Path of Odr—A Golden Cum Sock; Only Men Understand Other Men; No Item From Death Eater Is Truly Useless; A Businessman’s Intuition Is Usually Right