Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 253

Title: The ‘Great’ Battle of Bubbling Sea

Assassinating someone, much less surrounding enemy Shinobi in an open sea, is more challenging than anything Kakashi expected to perform at the beginning of the mission. The boy, for all his talents, still lacks the necessary experience to uncover the cunning nature of the Shinobi despite surviving a raid with a stellar performance. It’s not killing that’s hard for the boy—his talents bless him to be an efficient killer. The act of trumping another Shinobi’s tactics makes Kakashi and Kushina rack their brains, with deep furrows marring their determined features, only for Kai and Minato to look at each other cluelessly.

“Uh, guys?” Minato quirks, a searching look in his expressive blue eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“How do we ambush them?” Kushina questions bluntly.

“You want to ambush someone in an open sea?” Kai blinks with an amazed look, genuinely wondering what rails Kushina’s train of thought runs on. “Aside from the exponential rise in complication to achieve a perfect ambush, we don’t necessarily need to think so far ahead.”

“What?” Kushina and Kakashi make curious noises at once before glancing at each other and settling down.

“Lord Third approved of your departure,” Minato tilts his head as Kai uncannily completes his brother-from-a-different-mother’s words.

“So, just whip a bijudama on them!”

“Yes.” Minato nods. “If that isn’t viable, we can always control a few aquatic creatures controlled by Genjutsu and marked with Hiraishin to catch them by surprise.”

“But you just told me ambush isn’t possible!” Kushina squawks before glaring at Kai.

“We can get two Shinobi at most,” Kai shrugs. “And if we perform any chakra-rousing technique other than the subtle ones, like a Genjutsu, our enemies are prone to find us. I can already sense the guarding team.”

Kushina closes her eyes before nodding, “Four Shinobi,” she informs. “And a civilian.” With that, Kushina glances at Kai suspiciously. He winks back at her, a loose grin gracing his lips as he points out. “Or we can try something simpler.”

“What would that be?” Minato sits beside Kushina and Kakashi, eager to listen to the ‘expert’s’ advice.

“Intimidation and the variation of that Genjutsu plan of yours. Kushina here collects a spine-tingling, toe-curling amount of chakra while we transform into a local variety of seafood to near our enemies. With their attention on Kushina, they wouldn’t focus on the relatively short bursts of chakra to create shadow clones and our transformation jutsu. We might get them all at once if we’re lucky. Possible fortunate circumstances include betting on our enemy’s nerves and scaring them off without a fight. And if Kushina’s fake bijudama isn’t enough, she can always release it for real, and we can teleport over to her again.”

“What about capturing the enemy for information?” Kakashi frowns. It’s an elementary part of Shinobi’s duty, and for once, Kai wished Kakashi showed enough brotherly faith in him as Minato did. But Kai can’t possibly account for everything, and being so young, Kakashi never got to experience Kai’s brand of wingmanship, which is basically inviting a friend over to a hooker’s—something Minato and Jiraiya would surely approve of! Yet, Kai finds himself appreciating the man’s son, who ruined his sense of humor for the worst.

“I will not lie,” Kai begins, and Kushina instantly understands something—he will lie. “The Continent is at the cusp of another war. Now, whatever the enemies are doing is beneficial for them. Our job is to cut that benefit to the greatest extent possible. That’s the priority.”

Kakashi momentarily chews on the words before offering, “Then should we divide our roles? My Ninken Summons are proficient in neutralizing enemies for capture.”

Deciding it’s best not to push the topic before sounding unnatural, Kai smiles encouragingly. “Sure. Keep your pals ready. But our first task is to scout the region and take out glaring threats. So Kushina?” He glances at her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Kushina nods as she closes her eyes.

‘So, you still desire my power?’ Kushina hears a powerful, husky voice snarling a chuckle in her mind, something the redhead ignores with dignity as she rouses the basest form of Kyub’s chakra stored within her. Red, fiendish chakra starts to pour out of her veins, bubbling with angst as the Jinchuriki senses her beast’s annoyance at getting ignored.

‘Hmph, that’s what you get for being a rude cunt!’ Kushina snorts internally, unwilling to connect with Kyubi after their previous argument.

Two tufts of her bangs float in the chakra’s cloak, forming faux fox ears as her lips darken and her canines extend a fair bit longer. Releasing a slow, guttural snarl, Kushina promptly crouches akin to a beast, her nails shifting into sharp, weaponized claws as a chakra tail sprouts behind her. Noting enough sense to act, Kushina glances at Kai, growling, “I still can’t control the four-tailed form, dattebane! You’ll be fine, right?”

“Ready when you are,” Kai smiles, forming a shadow clone as Kakashi and Minato rise into action, too.

---

“Gari?” Nikuchi looks up from his task, sweat building around his body due to the sheer heat surrounding the team as the Bubbling Sea proves scathing to human touch, making others extend their chakra in precise control to keep themselves from harm. Gari nods at Nikuchi’s words.

“I sense it, too. It’s either a Kekkei Genkai boasting heightened Chakra Reserves or a Jinchuriki. Keep going. We must finish the seal as soon as possible. We cannot destroy two days’ worth of preparations over something like this. Remember, the priority is the delivery of the seal!”

Nikuchi and others nod as they return to work while Gari glances in trouble’s direction.

‘Yosuke and others won’t retreat at once. The Mizukage and the Water Daimyo want this attraction away from their lands. Retreating now means the failure of their mission.’ He narrows his eyes.

‘But their timing is quite coincidental. To appear right before we start the sealing ritual smells like a rat’s work.’ The highly cautious Shinobi he is, Gari suspects foul play nigh instantaneously. But there’s little he can do now.

‘Let’s hope whatever barrier stands in our way isn’t too strong,’ He frowns, unbothered by his soaked garments due to the constant sweating.

Unlike Iwa’s composure and already on edge for some strange, unprofessional reason, Kiri’s team grits their jaws, feeling unrestful. They quietly secure the sweeping perimeter of the Bubble Sea, summoning their faithful pets and ensuring nothing unnoticeable slips past them. The Third Mizukage chose them for this mission due to their versatility and ‘range.’ Their abilities make these Shinobi right for protecting a region of open sea with just three of them!

Yosuke quietly glances at the unconscious youth floating atop a bony platform, thinking, ‘I should consider taking the boy away. All things considered, he’s a treat for the eyes.’

His mind momentarily derails from the mission’s needs before shaking his head. He’s sufficiently confident in his survival—

Yosuke stills as he feels something thrumming within his bones! His eyes threaten to bulge out from the mask’s socket as he picks the tanned youth from the bony platform, growling in his mind, ‘Bone Release: Hollow Stems!’ He stamps his feet on the tide, hollow bones jutting from the base of his feet as a plume of smoke dampens underwater, revealing a strange flicker until the Jonin turns around with a bone spike ejecting from his wrist.

*Clang*

The sound of metals clashing hardly reaches beyond a certain distance as he meets the ash-haired boy’s cold gaze.

“Hmph!” Yosuke forces Kakashi back with a surprising force. Unknown to the two, the youth’s features between Yosuke’s arm and waist change from a hard-lined man to ‘softer’ features as if he’s an entirely different man!

“So?” Yosuke scoffs. “Konoha started sending brats for a man’s job?”

Kai Fuyuki, in Yosuke’s grasp, rolls his eyes internally. ‘First rule of combat, dude! Never speak unless you can kill the enemy in three different ways!’

Kakashi narrows his eyes, guarding his front with a kunai while cautiously staring at the bone spike in Yosuke’s grasp.

It’s only then Yosuke notices the smidgen of blood in Kakashi’s clenched palm, scowling as he forms a single-handed seal.

‘Water Release: Hidden Mist!’

A wave of mist bursts from Yosuke’s pores as Kakashi snorts. ‘Shit!’

Five jets of water rise near him, revealing drenched dogs as one of them barks, “Sorry, Kakashi. The bastard has bones jutting from his feet the entire time.”

“Understood,” Kakashi thins his lips, training his senses while questioning, “Do you sense him?”

“Just give us a—”

Before the ninken can speak further, they all feel something ominous creeping at the back of their necks.

“Time’s up,” Kakashi hears a calm voice as he dispels his summons before feeling a palm on his shoulder as his view shifts from the unforgiving mist to the sight of a monstrous ‘red’ being with four tails releasing a blast of glowing red chakra from its mouth.

“Look at it go!” Kai snickers as he reappears behind Kushina, grabbing the back of her neck despite the sizzling sound escaping his skin. He narrows his eyes with a generous burst of chakra, marking a complicated seal on her body. With Minato present, Kai fulfills his share of the acting without missing a beat, healing Kushina at the moment’s notice since the four-tails mode is taxing on her skin. Sure, it doesn’t hurt her anymore, but Kai won’t settle for anything less than perfection when it comes to lying and acting!

*Kabooom*

“Minato?” Kai questioningly looks at Minato.

“I sealed the corpse,” he nods.

“Hmm. Let’s see if the remaining two Shinobi and that civilian survived the explosion. The Iwa Shinobi should be more than wary now. The explosion will disrupt their actions for a while.”

Kai looks at Kushina. “How are you feeling?”

The redhead thins her lips before straining her smile, “Just fine.”

“Thank you,” Kai nods, patting her shoulder with a warm smile.

‘Oh! You lying sons of cunts!’ gasps the monster, wiser to the duo’s antics!

Kushina snorts internally, briefly cutting off the connection once again while Kai straightens his back. “Kakashi, secure Kushina until we return.”

The boy speaks no further, accepting his task as he summons his Ninken again to surround Kushina protectively.

“I can still fight!” She protests.

“You can,” Kai nods. “But I won’t risk the ‘key’ to enter Uzu. Minato and my clone will handle the stationary team while I deal with the guard. The Kiri forces, if they survived, won’t bother us.”

“And if they do?” Kushina frowns as Kai shrugs. “Why not create hundreds of clones and back us up?”

She blinks before grinning toothily.

“Can do!”

While she’s sufficiently intelligent enough to compose such tactics on her own, Kushina likes leaving the ‘drag’ for Kai to deal with when enjoying his presence. She swiftly forms a familiar seal as a burst of smoke surrounds them.

‘Does she even need my protection?’ Kakashi wonders for a moment before shaking his head. ‘No. I’m right where I’m needed.’

---

Nikuchi’s perpetual smile fades as he observes the devastation. They set various sealing matrices in several hundred spots around the bubbling sea, as a whole, to commence their mission. Their seals would rouse Yonbi’s slumbering chakra, agitate it until it breaks from whatever seal confining it underwater, then seal it inside their special artifact since the times of Earth Temple and their Earth Monks. But a single bijudama blew away half of the sea at once!

“Where are those inbreds?” Nikuchi demands with a snarl, accompanied by angry hisses from his palms as Gari shakes his head. “They won’t be coming. I sensed Yosuke’s sudden disappearance. I believe the rest died. How Yosuke moved like that will be part of the information sent to Lord Third instead of Yonbi.”

Nikuchi’s expression turns worse as he grunts, “Fuck!”

“What does it mean?” The black-haired youth frowns. “Uncle won’t—”

“Oh! Shut it!” Nikuchi glares at Onoki’s distant-distant-distant-DISTANT Nephew! “Prepare for the worst!”

The youth grits his teeth as he stands from his position, eager to retort, but a wave of Gari’s hand stops any internal conflict. “They are nearby.”

One of the shinobi frowns, “This portion of the sea should not have any aquatic lifeforms.” His hands form seals the second he sees a school of red catfish swimming in their direction.

Blue electricity dances around his palm as Gari and the rest jump from their positions—[Lightning Release: Lightning Serpent.]

By the time the remaining trio hit their vertical peaks, the wave of lightning serpent electrocutes the aquatic creatures, causing them to explode in muffled plumes of smoke washed away into the water, barely escaping to the surface! But their expression twists when they see two odd figures, one masked and the other blond appearing above the many fish still not destroyed.

*Poof*

*Poof*

*Poof*

Muffled noise explodes from under the bubbling hot sea, causing dozens of red-haired figures to flicker out of the water and surround everyone as Gari focuses on the octopus-masked shinobi—Konoha’s Dragon Sennin. The arguably hilarious mask doesn’t bring humor to Nikuchi and others as they dread the implications of a Shinobi wearing it.

‘Lord Third made it clear not to engage with the Dragon. He stalled Lord Third during the raid and seems to possess a similar flying/floating jutsu of unknown nature.’ Gari’s eyes shift from the Sennin to the Blond and the Redheaded-Bold.

‘The Hiraishin user and the Jinchuriki, her clones to be exact, but I wouldn’t put it past the enemy to hide the real one in there to catch us by surprise.’ The dissemination of information about dangerous Shinobi before the raid thinned the fog of mystery surrounding the enemy village’s corps. Just as Gari identified Kai and the others as they presented themselves, Kai tilted his head, speaking in a gruff, muffled voice.

“Gari of the Explosion Release and Two-Mouth Nikuchi,” He narrows his eyes behind the mask. “We’re here on a peaceful mission.” The man shamelessly proposes as if he didn’t encourage Kushina to blow all their hard work with a bijudama. “Let us scout the region, and you can do whatever you want after we’re done.”

“Bastard!” A moderately young, black-haired Shinobi yells, clenching his fist. “You bastards of Konoha have no right to make us leave! Peaceful mission, my ass!”

“So much for trying to resolve things peacefully,” Nikuchi mutters under his breath, brushing his long blond locks while stuffing his other hand in his pouch as a grating, chewing noise echoes in the surroundings, making Minato and dozens of Kushina’s clones tense.

Unlike Yosuke Kaguya, who is his ticket into Kirigakure, Kai doesn’t share similar sympathies with Gari or the rest, and knowing the truth about the Bubble Sea by understanding the origin of the Seal containing a corona of seething chakra, Kai wisely acknowledges his enemies’ fates.

They are going to die.

“Wait!” The fourth shinobi, the Lightning User from earlier, demands in a sharp voice. “I say we complete our missions peacefully if possible! The Kirigakure inbreds aren’t here, so the chances of information spreading outside our Leader’s known is hard.”

“Kiryu!” glares the dark-haired shinobi with a boiling temper. “You traitor!”

“Shut up!” One of Kushina’s clones hisses, glaring at the man with her violet hues adopting a red note. “You are in no position to pose offers!” Her clones release a burst of violent chakra to drive the point that each of her clones possesses enough chakra to outshine an average Chunin!

Gari’s expression turns grim. ‘Minato Namikaze and Dragon Sennin, alongside Kai, are the three users of Hiraishin. Lord Third denies the earlier speculations of Kai and the Dragon sharing identities. The mission is in deep trouble if Kai is also here, hiding amongst the clones. They let the Jinchuriki’s transformed clone tide in our direction before using Hiraishin on one of the clones and appearing here at once. There’s also the possibility the Hiraishin users marked all the clones. We can only kill them by catching them by surprise.’

But that’s another can of worms to consider!

“Why are we alive?” Nikuchi smiles frivolously.

‘Because I need to put an act for Kakashi by giving you a chance to surrender.’ But Kai replies—“You will die, or you’ll defect. I prefer the latter. It saves Konoha some time to understand your secrets. Make no mistake. You four are not going to—”

He suddenly disappears from their view.

“Enter your formation!” Gari snaps as the Iwa Shinobi bundle together, only for Kiryu to slap his hand across the surface of the water.

*Poof*

“That fucking idiot!” Gari curses Kiryu’s sudden escape. He never formed a summoning contract. So, Reverse Summoning Jutsu will be the death of him. And if he does survive, he won’t live long as Iwa’s traitor!

Nikuchi frowns and whispers, “It’s not the Camouflage Jutsu.”

Iwagakure is known for its skills in turning invisible, and as a user of such a technique, Nikuchi easily understands that the two Jutsu are different.

“Because it isn’t.” Nikuchi and Gari feel their spines tingle, their bodies moving before their minds can register the act. Only one shinobi acts in a delay—Onoki’s nephew.

Nikuchi fails to observe his teammate’s fate as he extends his hand toward a flickering yellow flash!

*Crunch*

Minato’s eyes widen as a grinning mouth embedded within Nikuchi’s palm bites the blade of his kunai! But the blond youth facing a certified Jonin of mysterious origins feels less than threatened, forming a dozen seals at once!

[Fire Release: Fire Ball Jutsu]

His mouth inflates before releasing a ball of scorching fire! His enemy merely cackles carelessly, the two mouths IN his palms grinning for him before spitting a kunai’s blade.

“This is yours, kid!”

The kunai’s blade creates a shrill noise, vacuuming through the ball of fire as Minato disappears the second he touches the water under him, leaving a few strands of his yellow hair as he barely evades the extended vacuum surrounding the small blade.

“Hmm?” Nikuchi blinks, noticing a distant three-pronged Kunai with a seal on its grip.

Nikuchi narrows his eyes, his hand entering the bubbling sea before he extends his other palm to face the Kunai, releasing a jet of water that evaporates into scorching steam.

*Slash*

A kunai held by a tight grip cuts off Nikuchi’s extended hand, making him grunt in surprise to find Minato standing beside him instead of the distant Kunai.

A bait!

And he had fallen for it!

Because—

“Dattebane!” A ruthless, chakra-enhanced fist pierces through Nikuchi’s chest as he grits his jaw. The difference between experience and ruthlessness shines when the Iwa Shinobi creates a burst of scalding steam around him without any indication, causing Kushina's clone to disappear in a plume of smoke. Minato hisses in pain, retreating with a flicker as the skin of his right arm sizzle and melt slightly, almost making him toss away his kunai.

“What the hell?” The distant clones gasp in surprise as a large bang resounds from underwater, causing a pillar of steam to erupt from their surroundings before a geyser of lava makes the clones shout in pain!

*Poof*

*Poof*

*Poof*

*Poof*

Minato disappears again, reappearing near the scowling Kushina and a shocked Kakashi.

But!

“Where’s Kai?” Minato questions instantly, noting the lack of their team leader.

---

“Steam and Lava Release? That’s impressive.”

Nikuchi hears a soft whistle. His disheveled head whips in the voice’s direction, strands of singed and burnt blond hair interrupting his gaze as his blue eyes widen in surprise to see a dark grey-brown-skinned youth standing naked, his hair grown out and grey-bluish in color. And pale yellow pupils surrounded by burnt-black sclera glance in his direction—quietly. The sound of bubbling sea and steam fills the silence as Nikuchi slowly glances away from the familiar man bereft of his mask. His gaze falls upon the heads of Onoki’s nephew and Gari, their remaining corpse nowhere to be found.

“Is your offer still on the table, Kai?” Nikuchi holds his torn arm with a strained smile, only to notice Kai’s lack of response, giving Nikuchi enough time to observe the sheer ridiculousness of the youth’s physique, from scaled limbs to downright bulging veins snaking over his muscles.

“The Forbidden Jutsu in my possession will be useful in the coming war. You must know the usual persecution for using Forbidden Jutsu vanes during wars,” Nikuchi speaks after a few moments of silence, only for Kai to blink and exhale. “Others should believe you were worth a few seconds, right?”

“Huh?” Nikuchi blinks as Kai appears behind him.

‘When did he mark me?’—A thought as quick as lightning sparks in Nikuchi’s mind as Kai’s clawed hand severs his head from his body.

Kai scoffs under his breath as he seals Nikuchi’s head separate from his body, like the rest of the corpses. ‘Didn’t expect the whole sea to erupt in steam. Fucker caught my clones and chainmail gifted by Mistress Mito.’ The fatal steam did little to his enhanced physique in his Sage Transformation and the seals on his body to store other storage scrolls. But the rest, including his special Hiraishin-marked Senbon, will need replacing.

Since he marked Nikuchi, he could leave like Minato and return to assassinate Nikuchi. But that act would open a lot of questions for Minato—for instance, how did he really mark Nikuchi? Kai disappeared using the [Ultimate Calorie Control] to become minuscule and mark his opponents, but admitting that to others isn’t something Kai is looking forward to.

‘The smartest out of the bunch was that Kiryu. I’ll have to come up with a way to stop the Summoning Jutsu abuse!’ Kai narrowed his eyes, wondering if the man survived his retreat.

His skin slowly softens, and his hair returns to its previous length and color.

“Well, that’s the last of them.”

He stretches his naked body, falling into another dilemma.

“Should I just teleport to them unannounced?” He wonders, tilting his head to stare at the sea with contemplation in his gaze. ‘And that’s an Uzumaki barrier—the kind I never sensed before. And would you look at that? It feels similar to [Indra’s Tritya Panth.]’

As Kai senses the distant barrier sealing the massive concentration of fiery chakra, he feels the familiar handiwork. That presence taught him once, kindling his start in the world of Fuinjutsu.

‘Hmm,’ he smirks before disappearing, planning his return from how he plucks his hair and drops it upon the sea to float.

---

Kiryu gasps for breath as he stares into his superior’s blank, brown eyes.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Y-yes! I’ve lost my use in Iwagakure. I will travel the continent as Nukenin, selling my loyalty to Suna or Kiri before reporting again, Mukai.”

“Good,” Mukai sighs as he retrieves his hand from around Kiryu’s neck. “Get to it then while I return to my superiors with the information.”

Kiryu leaves with a flicker as Mukai mumbles something under his breath and shakes his head.

“So?” A husky voice resounds in the empty forest clearing as a white and black figure stems out from a tree’s trunk.

“Same old,” Mukai shrugs. “The Dragon Sennin is on the Bubbling Sea. Do you want me to tell you everything here or create another elaborate report?”

The figure contemplates before speaking, “Report it to A as usual. He is running things for now.”

“Until he’s dead,” Mukai smiles pleasantly.

***

Alternate Title: Kakashi and Kushina Racking Their Brains For Simpler Tasks; Minato: Why Ambush Them? *Kai Completes The Sentence Like a Bro*: When You Can Bomb ‘Em!; Ignored Kyubi!; Kushina: Hmph! I Ain’t Talking With You! *Desperate Kyubi*: I Have Ramen!; Lying Sons of Cunts; Kai And Kushina Acting Their Hearts Out; Everything For an Objective; The Strange Forbidden Jutsu; Efficient As Always; Blowing a Sea *Hold Up!*; Noticing Top Dog; The Familiar Sense of the Mistress; Lost Gifts; Mito Needs To Reimburse Her ‘Maid’; Kiryu The Rat; Onoki’s Nephew Was Meh; Nikuchi The Triple Threat; Nikuchi Of Three Throats!