Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 266

A/N: I may have messed up the timeline. Karui and Omoi shouldn’t have been born. But I remember writing about them in the earlier chaps around B. Anywho, I’m rolling with the changes. So, Karui and Omoi should be around Samui’s and Yugito’s age, around 5. (Roughly 8 years before canon Naruto’s Birth.)

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Title: Every Orphan In Kumo Hears The Doom OST

She wasn’t a Jinchuriki by birth, but the truth of her birth was no secret. That’s how Kumo’s administration is—blunt, even if cruel. Of course, she wasn’t the only one ‘nurtured’ by the initiative. There are Karui, Samui, Atsui, and many others.

They were meant to be better than their ‘parents’—imitations born from someone else’s cells and bodies. Well, they weren’t. Not like the previous generation lost to Konoha during the raid, at least. And the administration refused to reveal their parentage despite a few painfully apparent situations. For instance, Karui only acquired Uzumaki’s red hair and temper but none of the benefits of their lineage. And that’s the only one she knows about. Others don’t possess such distinctive features to determine one’s ‘clan.’

Shizan used to say he was from the Senju Clan. Yugito heard Dodai say that it was wrong to reveal one’s parentage since Shizan Senju grew disassociated from Kumo’s administration. The Late Elite’s loyalties shattered. Shizan Senju stopped polishing himself and incurred losses on the missions instead until he was sent to deal with Konoha’s jinchuriki, where he met his end.

The raid ended many others. Yugito was only supposed to summon the group of Elites before reverse-summoning herself back to Kumo.

‘Even Dodai-san died,’ she sighs.

A cool breeze sways her ash-blonde locks as she sits by a cliff, enjoying the morning chill. She wishes she could hate the enemies who took away her mentor.

She can’t. Not when Dodai plainly stated that she was meant to be hated by the villagers and shouldn’t expect to live like other girls her age. Who says that?

Who puts a girl through such detestable training?

Her thin body shivers, not from the cold but the meager reminder of the cold stares she earned while jogging up the mountaintop and finding solace in her favorite seat near the cliff. The remainder of the day won’t let her think such things since she would be put through the wringer, but such moments of solitude let Yugito’s mind wander.

She isn’t ordinary. If it weren’t for Brother B, she wouldn’t even be a ‘girl’ either. Oh, yes. A few ‘special’ missions floated her way despite Yugito being a girl as young as five. Why would others care about her age? Those nobles just want to try and tame a monster in its infancy. The administration didn’t force such missions. The Third Raikage called her in, bluntly explained what she should expect from such nobles, and accepted her refusal for what it was before letting her get back to her training.

“Sigh.”

*Kuuuuuu*

Her stomach rumbles alongside her sigh. She presses her hands against her abdomen with a scowl, dark eyes flickering with fierce hunger before she suppresses her pangs.

This is her training—‘portion control.’

While B explained that the only way to become a perfect jinchuriki is to ‘vibe’ with the Tailed Beast, Yugito can’t properly talk to her beast, much less understand it. But Dodai seemed sure that only eating very little and only once would eventually help her. She’s been put on the diet ever since.

One bowl of rice, soup, and some veggies. She cannot even eat any sweets or meat. Her body’s growth would take a prominent hit if she wasn’t a Jinchuriki.

The skinny girl hugs her arms.

It’s cold, but she loves this place. It’s the last semblance of reminder for her that one thing can feel good and bad at once, never letting her focus on bad things alone. She likes the cold despite being talented in the Fire Nature release.

Yugito closes her eyes, sighing softly.

“Even the breeze smells like fish sticks.” She sniffs with a euphoric look before her eyes snap open.

“Want some?”

She stares at the offered plate, unconsciously accepting it before taking another lasting sniff. Yugito hears a shout before she can even look away from the dish.

“Ah! You thief! Return my breakfast!”

“Crap,” Yugito hears the stranger snicker as he suddenly swipes two more fish sticks before flickering away. The Jinchuriki catches the shinobi’s scent before he can run off as she glances at where he retreated.

‘Strange, I don’t remember that scent. Someone new in the ranks?’ She frowns before looking at the huffing, grey-haired girl. Her face flushes with anger as she stares at Yugito, impressively undeterred by her Jinchuriki status as she arches her brows and glares with her green eyes. “Hard on hearing, Nii? Those are my fishsticks!”

There are only a few individuals who don’t shun Yugito but would instead butt heads with her should the opportunity provide. Mabui is one such case, and so is Karui.

Yugito stares at the plate in her hands before looking at Mabui. The blonde sniffs them again, finding her hunger stoked yet somehow appeased to an extent by their delicious scent. “How can I be sure it’s your breakfast, Mabui?”

“Why would I lie?” Mabui frowns, scoffing. “You’re such a miser and weirdo. If you like fish, buy it. What’s the point of staring at us while we eat it?”

“I’m on a diet,” Yugito sniffs yet again, finding it difficult not to drool.

“Whatever,” Mabui extends her hand, demanding, “my breakfast.”

“It’s mine now,” Yugito turns her back to Mabui, cradling the plate on her lap while staring at the misty clouds hiding their village from the world’s view. The Village has a case of perpetual fog in most of the regions except some valleys under their control.

“Excuse me?” Mabui clenches her fist. “Those are mine, Yugito Nii!”

The Jinchuriki shrugs. “Don’t let others steal it again. You’ll learn it the hard way in the academy.”

“Hmph,” Mabui pitches her nose to the sky, “My Dad says I can skip academy if I go through his course instead. He even got the Raikage’s permission.”

“Great,” Yugito mutters dryly. “Ah, these smell so warm.”

Mabui’s lips gape open at Yugito’s indifference.

‘Curses!’ the dark-skinned girl pouts. ‘If only I had shinobi training. Sure, beating a monster like Yugito would be impossible, but I could have knocked out the scum who stole my breakfast. H- He sounded so sincere! Hmph. At least I can buy another—’

Mabui reaches for her wallet only to find it missing.

Her eyes pop wide open.

---

“Lord Third is busy and will return from his research in another three days.” The grey-haired and bespectacled Atamui stares at the smiling youth. “You say your name is Kai Kuroyuki, yes?”

“Nice to meet you,” Kai smiles. “Lord Senkage sends his regards.”

Atamui nods calmly. The Raikage’s office, though soberly furnished, has a broad view through multiple windows that overlook the entire village built on different platforms over several close mountain ranges. Kumogakure is a village that almost entirely trains every member in the Shinobi arts to a certain extent, or traversing Kumo will become an issue. There are several bridges for other civilian merchants, of course. But there is a distinction between civilians and the shinobi, a broad one too, unlike other Shinobi villages.

Atamui rose to the role of Raikage’s advisor after Dodai died in the raid. The village was lucky. The spy network suggests that Dodai died of poison before the enemy could extract any information from him. Unfortunately, Kumo’s confidential records do not depict Dodai’s expertise in medicines, as he must have kept it a secret.

“Senkage, huh,” Atamui adjusts his glasses. The Third Senkage of Yugakure is in Kumo’s grip in all but name. The earlier war saw Kumo almost conquering the Land of How Water from the shadows had it not been for the Uchiha’s sudden deployment. But not all was lost. While the Land of Hot Water and its civilian administration maintain its sovereignty, the same cannot be said for Yugakure and its shinobi. Not only did the Third Raikage ‘reacquire’ and assimilate a clan of Dojutsu, but he also set various criteria to inject Kumo with the talents of Yugakure.

Kai allows Atamui to think. He remembers seeing Atamui fleeing with another shinobi when Team Sakumo raided one of their labs and extracted Fukushu alongside the Cerberus. Those missions didn’t end there, of course. Other teams of spies were sent to the Land of Hot Water before discovering the links between Yugakure and Kumo. Kai thought of using these links to successfully infiltrate Kumo.

The funny thing is Kai is already within Kirigakure and Kumogakure while making decent progress into infiltrating Iwagakure with Guren—but Sunagakure is the most troublesome to sneak into due to the Third Kazekage.

‘Should I plant the seal on him?’ Kai wonders with narrowed eyes. He entered Kumo last night after freeing Sakumo from the seal in his heart. He expected to run into the Third Raikage, but he wasn’t anywhere. Naturally, Kai took the chance to snoop around, and boy, there’s some heavy stuff going in the shadows. He expected to see breeding pits, perhaps a bit stereotypical of him, but he’s glad he was wrong.

From what little Kai snooped, he found labs dedicated to producing fertilized egg samples and implanting them into surrogate mothers for fair compensation if Kai had to say anything about it.

Of course, the nature of the task finds those surrogate women forever living in the shadows. But they seemed at peace, even making a community since Kumo spared no expense in nurturing and keeping them healthy.

Nothing’s better than a companionable breeding farm project to pump generational talents into the village, right?

However, Kai prefers the classic way over this methodical one.

Besides that, he didn’t find any other captives. It seems the Senju prisoners didn’t survive the ordeal.

Of course, all that snooping around also led Kai to locate Atamui, whom the prodigal harem seeker stalked before finding his daughter purchasing her breakfast and eventually stealing her wallet.

Ah, one thing led to another, of course. Why else would Kai bully someone with parents when there was a perfectly viable target brooding at a not-so-distant cliff?

He has yet to put a seal on any of Kumo shinobi. He instead wants to locate the Shinobi already under the cum-men’s control and take control of them.

“The reports suggest your skills are on par with a Jonin,” Atamui glances over to Kai from the stack of documents between them. “The Senkage has enough foresight to send you over to us. Yugakure does not possess adequate resources in the form of challenging missions and training facilities to further your growth and skills. I hope you understand what I’m trying to convey, Kuroyuki-kun.”

“I don’t?” Kai acts cluelessly for the ‘country-bumpkin’ role he has to offer as Atamui sighs under his breath.

“No matter,” the bespectacled single father mutters. “Let’s take it slow. If it were a few months ago, Lord Third would preside over the tests. But recent circumstances have his attention divided into other critical matters. It’s still important to follow the protocol, of course.”

Kai is sure Atamui did his homework about contacting Yugakure and compiling all the information on Kai from their records. And the Senkage? Boy, was he easy to tackle. The pacifist shinobi village of Hot Springs doesn’t boast the required skills of a Kage. Adding his records was a matter of minutes.

“Let’s start with a rudimentary evaluation. Kumogakure’s standards for a Shinobi’s assessment are bound to differ from Yugakure’s.” Atamui smiles, prompting Kai’s inviting smile as a window pops in the corner of his gaze.

[Invitation Quest: Show Off!

Summary: Reveal what you wish to reveal and impress Kumo’s administration to back your talk of being a Jonin in THEIR standards.

Rewards: New Title; New Skill Tree

Failure: New Title; New Skill Tree]

Others might get confused by the situation with the Rewards and Failure, but Kai wasn’t. It’s as simple as it comes. They will assess him on a standard and accept him as a Shinobi of differing scale. His title and skill tree would be based on how Kumo evaluates him.

Still…

A New Title and a Skill Tree!

Kai uses every bit of his willpower to not act like a creepy-maru and lick lips when she sees anything intriguing, including the prospect of pegging his butt.

‘But if she’s so creepy, why am I into her?’ He questions with a simple answer in his mind.

‘Boobs- ah, no, -ass, ehm! Personality! Orochimaru has a caring disposition since she’s a mother… and her tits milk.’

---

Kumo’s mountain ranges vary from closed colonies of peaks to vast mountains. Needlessly, Kumo built itself around a cluster of peaks interconnected by bridges, with many such peaks remodeled to support various structures and platforms. There are even more buildings in the many valleys of the mountain range, most of them restricted for confidential purposes, and plenty of them modeled to train the generations of Shinobi.

Instead of a valley, Kai is on one of the flat peaks modeled into a small arena surrounded by a closed structure hiding the sky through a concrete ceiling and a series of viewing boxes protected by one-sided glass that barely stops Kai from peeing through them even without a Byakugan. The [Piercing Vision] skill comes in handy in such moments.

Only one of the viewing boxes is in use, but not by Amatui. Raikage’s absence must have Amatui stuck with many different tasks, leading to another Jonin named ‘D.’

A-Z, the 26-coded Shinobi Corps of Kumogakure, are famous due to their militaristic role. Even if their responsibilities are somewhat known to other villages, it doesn’t affect a thing in Kumo’s administration.

A will always be the Raikage, B will maintain the role of Hachibi’s Jinchuriki, C will be the lead Sensor, and so on.

‘D should be the mission manager,’ Kai recalls. ‘Hmm. Let’s make a smashing impression. That man might singlehandedly toss hundreds of SP my way~!’ Shameless as ever, Kai glances at his opponent, a light-skinned, dark-haired youth with nothing extraordinary about him at a glance.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” the youth bows slightly.

‘There are no referees, not in plain sight anyway,’ Kai thins his lips. ‘Naturally, the Genjutsu was the right move.’

That’s right. Kai’s opponent cast a Genjutsu the second he spoke, intending to entrap him in the simplest of illusions that don’t change anything about their surroundings until it’s too late.

Alas—

Kai stretches his arm forward, lashing out at the shinobi’s neck and catching him on the spot where he was supposed to flicker into existence.

*Ackh*

The shinobi gags, his hand instantly thrusting a kunai at Kai’s face, only for Kai to smash the youth on the concrete floor instead, driving the air out of his lungs and the kunai out of his hand.

“You never did tell me your name,” Kai smiles at the teen. “How else would you acquaint me?”

The youth glares at Kai as the latter lets go, allowing the former to breathe again.

“What else?” Kai inquires. He would show a few glaring weaknesses to drive in his role of being a ‘country bumpkin’ IF Atamui sent a genuine Jonin his way. But Kai can’t act the part against a budding chunin around his apparent age, which is totally not twelve (chronological) or fifteen (biological). Instead, he has to opt for the role of a slightly arrogant twerp out of his depths and in need of some dangerous missions to force upon some maturity.

And Kai hopes those missions are at least Ranked A.

“It’s enough,” the voice emerges from the vocal transferring seal on the wall, easing the Kumo chunin as Kai crosses his arms. “Am I going to face a real test?” He goads as the opponent grits his teeth.

Then again, Kai made quite the impression, didn’t he?

He just caught a Shinobi, despite a weak one, between his Body Flicker. That’s not a feat readily ignored. Even before that, Kai did so while in a moment of Genjutsu stupor.

‘Now, let’s rally against Konoha, hehehehe! Hiruzen won’t know what hit him. Pfft. ME!’

Not even Kumo can heal the damage done to his sense of humor.

***

Alternate Title: The Brooding Kitten; The Detestable Portion Control; Black Snow; One Thing Can Feel Good and Bad; Kumogakure; Hated; Shunned; Hungry; The Lurking Shadows Wating To Sink Their Teeth; Fish Sticks; Ehm, Stolen Fish Sticks; Lost Fish Sticks and Wallet; Mabui’s Surprise; Yugito Just Gonna Smell Them; From Bullying To Orphans To Feeding Them?; Compromised Security; Senkage’s Little Genius; Missions!; Making An Impression On The Good ‘Ol D; Kai: Acting? I AM an Arrogant Jerk; Kumo’s Peaceful ‘Farm’; Orochimaru Has a Great Personality. A Milking One; Choking Done Right *AYO*; Valleys and Hills; Hidden By The Cloud, But Not To His Eyes; Kai Teases Girls For Enjoyment *They Grow Up: Fine, I’ll Do It Myself*; Kai Is Canonically Twelve With Some Of The Greatest Bitches; Kai Steps In a New Location *Every Orphan In Vicinity*: *Chuckles* I’m In Danger

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A/n: OK, so Kumo has many names as adjectives. Mabui means pretty, Karui means ‘light’ or non-serious, and so on. Amatui, if the Google Translation Didn’t fail me, should be a play on the word ‘head.’ As for Yugakure, I named its Kage Title ‘Senkage’ and not ‘Yukage’ (apologies if I called it a Yukage elsewhere before and forgot about it) because of the term Onsen (Hot Spring). That’s all for now~! Oh, and I will think of various positions the alphabetical corps are supposed to possess and try and stick to it. D is the mission administrator, I’ll check the wiki for the rest, but I don’t believe og series used it quite that much. Fortunately, I’ll get the chance since we should have personal village arcs for different Yuki Variants of Kai. (I say ‘variants’ for fun but they are all Wood Clones with a shared consciousness.)