Paradise of Infinity: 315

Title: Accu-mulet (2)

“Do you want to ask something?” Ray glances from her smartphone, idling on a mobile game. There wasn’t much to do since Revy is Dutch’s go-to ‘action’ package, and the guns-woman prefers Nik over her cute, succubus self. But staying out of action isn’t so bad for Ray. She likes peace more than the pump of adrenaline in her pliant body.

Dutch stares at Ray shortly before questioning, “Do you think the Mafia and other criminal groups will target Black Lagoon once they realize you and Nik are one of ‘them’?”

“One of whom?” Ray retorts, returning to playing with her phone while Benny’s voice crackles from the radio.

“One of the ‘Monsters’ behind all the mess we’re hearing. Dutch had me sneak around in some international databases. There’s a massive 10 Billion Yen Dollar bounty on an undisclosed identity. It’s roughly 66 Million Dollars!”

Ray lets out a curious hum, “But what’s that got to do with Nik and me?”

Dutch lights his cigarette, “There’s more. That bounty is ‘public’ to the Higher-Ups like Mister Chang and Balalaika. Benny found something else. Those ‘freak’ accidents we’re hearing on the television? There are some Identified freaks with bounties on their heads. Remember the ‘Ant Incident’ where ANTS, of all things, destroyed a fucking crime group? Well, the image of a person is circulating in the circles, and that individual seems to know an acquaintance of ours.”

With her curiosity piqued, Ray questions, “Who?”

“The guy that attacked us when we brought over Lovelace’s Kid,” Benny replies from the control unit. “You weren’t there that day, Ray. That man somehow killed over a dozen men outside Yellow Flag.”

“And he wanted something from Nik,” Dutch exhales a smoky puff. “30-something.”

“Huh,” Ray deflates, getting back into her mobile game. “I’m sorry, but Nik and I aren’t monsters, and we have nothing to do with them.”

“Sources say they appeared from a black hole,” Benny supplants after a moment’s hesitation.

Ray smiles, reassuring Dutch, “Do you think someone like me and Nik have the stones to commit mass murder of THAT level?”

“Oh, we don’t suspect you,” Dutch chuckles, staring ahead. “But people like Balalaika and Chang are only reasonable from their covers. And there are men more unreasonable than them in this world.”

Ray giggles at that. Dutch got that right, didn’t he?

“The sensors are detecting another aerial movement. Something is approaching fast! Wait— It’s already—”

Dutch’s body slumps back on his seat while Benny’s voice cuts off as they both fall unconscious, while Ray watches toward the sky with a cautious expression, observing the flying contraption straight out of a sci-fi fiction zooming towards the Island.

‘What time is it?’ Ray glances at her phone before realizing it’s been almost two hours since Nik and Revy got on the Island.

[Smexy-succu-succu: Careful, something dangerous is approaching the Island.]

[Nut-Cracking-Messiah: Too late. That’s why I have a love-hate relationship with Islands!]

“Oh, so that Incubus was your partner?”

A quiet snicker fills the Lagoon’s Bridge as Ray looks behind.

“A happy and fulfilling morning to you, Miss. Succubus. Hmm, I smell a contradiction. Ah, I see. Your bloodline is more precious than the Incubus’ rare variant. No—”

A soul-shuddering chill fills Ray’s heart as she stares at the entity whisper, “You’re unshackled, too.”

---

*RRRHHHHMMMMMBBBBBBB*

Another jeep stops past the rabble of unconscious men, raising a cloud of dust with its swift stop and revving engine. Revy and Nik watch a skinny, dark-haired woman step out in a rose cheongsam covered by a cropped white jacket. Her hand brushes through her long tresses that conceal the right portion of her face and cascades down to her slim chest. Her long red tassel-like earrings bounce with a swift turn of her face as she observes the scene. The customized slit of her cheongsam exposed her long and pale legs, alongside the strapped knives on her thighs, to the elements, extending to her red sandals.

*Gulp*

Revy hears the man beside her gulp, prompting her to elbow the sex-crazed freak as she questions his choices of ever finding a knife-wielding maniac pretty.

And then their escort speaks—

“You work Boss Chang?” She stares at the duo with her dark cyan hues. “We t-the escorts.”

Her struggle to speak English is apparent by the get-go, but Nik admits Revy didn’t have to point at the woman and—

“Hahahahahahaha! The slut’s mouth must have other uses ‘cause Boss Chang ain’t hiring for other work! Did you hear that?”

Nik stares at Revy before glancing at the deeply frowning Shenhua, who reaches for her tied Kukris behind her waist, and might Nik add, not far from the golden strings of her supposedly scanty panties exposed due to the higher slit of her cheongsam.

“The password,” Nik clears his throat as their driver, the Blonde Man wearing green-tinted shades, calls from inside, shouting the password while snorting a thin line of white powder from the back of his hand.

“At least, someone professional,” Shenhua snorts, entering the vehicle while Revy smirks, following Nik into the back seats of the jeep.

“Yo,” the driver greets the duo through the rearview mirror. “I’m Leigharch, and she’s Shenhua.”

“Hello,” the woman smiles and waves her hand through the mirror before glancing at Revy and sliding her hand across her thigh and knives.

“Nice to meet you,” Nik smiles back. “I’m Nik, and she’s Revy.”

“I know, Two Hands,” Shenhua tilts her head. “But who you?”

“Who he?” Revy snickers. “He newbie.”

“You know,” Nik glances at Revy, “You shouldn’t make fun of someone’s attempts at speaking a different language. Language is hard to practice and master.” The man speaks from experience, and while he has it easy due to Paradise, others in his Space practice Japanese to this day, dreading the event where they will eventually learn it and move on to learning English.

“Good boy,” Shenhua praises the man, making Revy guffaw yet again as the Asian woman continues, “I understand English fully. Watching Movies easy, speaking hard. But it makes work easy.”

“You’ll get it eventually,” Nik offers as Leigharch drives off. “Learning a language isn’t as hard as learning about throwing knives.”

“You know to throw knives?” Shenhua turns back entirely. “A hobby? But it’s my profession.”

“Knives?” Revy touches the grip of her gun. “Never watched the Indiana Jones Classic, Chinglish? Don’t bring a sword to a gunfight—”

The woman instantly presses one of her Kukris against Revy’s neck, scowling, “I’m not Chinese. I’m Taiwanese, Bitch.”

Nik would step in if he weren’t already aware this is the standard greeting between individuals steeped in Roanapur’s ‘smoky’ goodness.

“What’s the difference?” Nik queries as Shenhua glances at the youth, questioning, “You don’t know?”

“Political issues,” Revy butts in, rolling her eyes. “Not something you’d concern yourself with since you live in your world.”

“You do?” Shenhua thins her lips, “Like Leigharch?”

“What’s the supposed to mean?!” The man scowls, smoking from a handmade roll of ‘grass.’

“I’m asking if he a Junky,” Shenhua smiles, explaining as Nik hums loudly.

“How many enemies should we expect?” He questions as their car drives through the wilderness. It would take them a considerable time to reach their final destination.

“Why do you ask?” Revy slumps back, putting her feet behind Shenhua’s seat.

“Some of them are following us,” Nik makes himself comfortable, too.

“Yes? They are?” Shenhua adjusts the rearview mirror, finding nobody.

“Not our problem,” Revy grunts, shifting one leg onto Nik’s thigh. “It’s the Yes-Lady and the Junky’s problem.”

“Hey,” Leigharch grins. “Have you ever tried one, Lady?”

“It’s disgusting,” Revy snorts, shifting her other leg on Nik, making him deadpan at the woman. “And if Nik says someone is following us, you better stay sharp. Not that it matters. I’m not pulling my cutlass again for the day.” She crosses her arms and closes her eyes. All the enemy kept dropping down without her doing anything. She’s simply bored.

“Your attitude is bitch, Bitch,” Shenhua snorts. “Nik, yes? You talk knives. Do you like guns or knives?”

Revy glances at Nik from the corner of her eyes as he answers sincerely, “I know a few trick throws for small knives, like the ones around your legs. But I think shooting is more uncomplicated. Revy taught me how to handle them. But my personal preference is a stick.”

“Stick?” Shenhua smiles. “Silly. You can’t kill an enemy.”

Nik smiles similarly, retorting, “With enough hits, you can.”

Shenhua blinks, about to say something, when Leigharch turns the car totally right, drifting through the empty area as several headlights switch open and highlight their car in the dim dawn.

“It’s the Empire!” Leigharch suddenly roars, “Luke, take us out of here!” He smashes his leg on the pedals and drives without caution as Nik smiles awkwardly, “Is that another political reference?”

“No,” Revy huffs. “It’s Star Wars. The bastard’s too high at this point.”

“Yes,” Shenhua nods. “His head is on Mars. But Star Wars good. Brother kissing sister is the only bad.”

“Oh, I loved that,” Revy retorts. “Especially her Bikini Dress.”

‘This conversation doesn’t make any sense,’ Nik sighs internally.

“Why are they not following?” Shenhua frowns, already wielding her Kukris as Revy glances at Nik before closing her eyes, “Who knows? The bastards in the village had slashed tires, too. Maybe it’s the same thing again.”

“Good,” Shenhua settles in her seat, chiming a soft hum while retrieving a compact mirror from the dashboard and applying red lipstick on her lips.

“Nik?” She looks at him from the rearview mirror, “What after the mission?”

“I’ve got a part-time job at Yellow Flag,” Nik smiles.

“Yes? I know that pub. Filled with whores,” she nods, already aware of the bordello above the pub. Or perhaps it was a taunt at Revy with how Shenhua glances at the glaring ‘Two Hands.’

“Why do you ask?” Nik questions as Shenhua puckers and smacks her lips to even out the lipstick before turning her head and smiling at Nik, “Sex, silly. Let’s do it before someone shoots you. Sticks not better than knives and guns.”

‘And they say sticks don’t work,’ Nik chuckles, feeling Revy’s annoyance despite her staring out the window. “Sure,” he shrugs, fully realizing his internal vow to keep possible one-night stands at bay is crumbling at a speed visible to the naked eye. Yet, he can ALWAYS strive to turn a One-Night Stand into something more permanent, right? Yes, given the circumstances, that’s his long-term excuse.

“Sex plans?” Leigharch snaps out of his hallucinations. “Say, Rev? Wanna hook up?” He grins at Revy as the woman plants her boot atop Nik’s crotch, only firmly pressing against it while eyeing Nik, “Only if I get to have your ass first.”

Leigharch looks through the mirror before huffing, “Don’t need Yoda to show the tension between them, phew!”

“Heh,” Shenhua smiles softly. “Yoda is cute.”

“For a wrinkled butthole,” Revy snorts.

“You gotta explain things to me. Who’s Yoda?” Nik sighs.

---

The threat of violence posed by the Hezbollah would be high if they could enact said destruction. But Nik isn’t the kind to NOT use favorable situations against the enemy. Heck! He accepts that he was rather lax during the initial skirmish, allowing the enemy to blow the Lagoon Company’s front. But using Seismic Sense and some rock bullets to concuss the enemies is too simple not to use in Nik’s books. What happens to the unconscious men once their enemies capture them?—That’s not Nik’s concern.

So, their journey to the military base is without further interruptions if one ignores Leigharch’s bouts of hallucinations, Shenhua explaining the entirety of Star Wars to Nik in her broken sentences, and Revy poking fun at the Kukri wielding ‘Possible’ menace because why not? Their mission is so easy that Nik almost feels the curse of Islands broke!—

Nik stops stroking Revy’s calves and creates a wall of sand and mud to slow their vehicle as Leigharch, Shenhua, and Revy fall unconscious at once, leaving Nik awake. He stares at the strange ‘plane’ that seems more like a mechanical and sleek black insect than an actual plane he traveled on to get to South America.

And sitting on the strange contraption’s hood is a rather kind-looking ‘humanoid.’

Nik calls the figure humanoid because aside from his kind and pale visage consisting of a wrinkled face, blue eyes, and weathered set of white hair, the man from neck down is entirely mechanical—bolts and all. The figure’s chest piece is a slab of unknown metal. The pieces of metal on the man’s body look similar to human pecs as further striped tubes and chunks of metal around him fashion themselves into standard human musculature.

“Hello,” the man waves one mechanical arm at Nik. “Combat against me is ill-advised. I’m Accu-mulet. I’m here to conduct trade, fellow Host. Would you be interested in the wares I have to offer?”

Nik continues staring at the man before slowly peeling himself from under Revy’s legs and stepping out of the car. He can sense the military base beyond the clearing barred by ‘Accu-mulet.’ Or rather, he perceives the unconscious military personnel beside a gaping pit.

“I’m Nut-Cracking-Messiah,” Nik introduces himself with a straight expression. He ignores the man’s reason to devour Military Encampments and gets to the point instead, “What do you wish to trade?”

Sure, Nik is curious about the bot’s reasoning for doing all this, but he understands that AP is their ‘cash flow.’ And Nik won’t take it kindly if someone else questioned him about his methods and reasoning for earning his keep.

[Smexy-succu-succu: Careful, something dangerous is approaching the Island.]

Nik glances at Ray’s sudden message before replying—

[Nut-Cracking-Messiah: Too late. That’s why I have a love-hate relationship with Islands!]

“Oh,” the bot jumps down from the hood of his fly-plane. “Incubus, you’re that Succubus’ partner? Quite the strange duo, far too similar. Ah, I suppose that’s one of the perimeters Paradise considered before assigning us partners.”

“You know I’m from an Incubus Bloodline?” Nik frowns.

“That and you’re unshackled,” The bot nods innocently. “I’ve tested many unshackled hosts over the years. Ah, I sense wariness. I didn’t mean to spook you, Sir. I apologize.” Accu-mulet smiles and dips his head slightly.

The Incubus thins his lips as Accu-mulet continues, “We should be unbothered for a while. I sent the disassociative frequency of my fly-mobile to induce unconsciousness in everyone on the Island. Since your bloodline has enough benefits, your mind is unaffected by it. Please take a look. These are the goods I can offer to a fellow host.”

The small lens embedded in the center of the bot’s chest glimmers before creating a holographic panel for Nik to peruse.

“Why are you trading with other hosts?” Nik questions as the list scrolls down slowly and automatically.

“It’s not a secret,” Accu-mulet hums. “While I possess a cybernetic form, I was once flesh and blood. I did all this to escape the shackles of my bloodline. Since this cybernetic form offers me virtual immortality, I decided to stay at Rank 1 and accumulate as much as I can—AP and other items—until I have the certainty to become an Executive at once.”

“You can store AP?” Nik reads between the lines as Accu-mulet smiles, conjuring another projection of a strange chip worth 40 AP.

“It’s a line of AP Storage chips starting from Rank 1 to Rank 5. The chips can store the AP of their corresponding ranks. I possess 976 Rank-1 Chips, 889 Rank-2 Chips, 327 Rank-3 Chips, 81 Rank-4 Chips, and 6 Rank-5 Chips.”

Nik stares at the man with utter shock. His mind can barely total the amount for all that as he swallows the lump in his throat and questions, “How long have you been traveling and completing missions?”

Accu-mulet smiles, projecting another hologram with the number 1023.

“1023 worlds?” Nik sucks in a breath of cold air.

“You misinterpret,” the bot shakes his head. “1023 years.”

Nik’s expression freezes, his mind coming to a stunned stall.

“Do you mind,” Nik licks his dry lips. “If I ask you a few things?”

“Oh? Information? I sell that, too.” The bot smiles, showing the collection of worlds and their summaries alongside many—

“Quality of life hacks?” Nik frowns.

“That is one of my most incomplete shelves,” Accu-mulet sighs. “Being a Rank 1 Intern despite all my accumulation doesn’t allow me to know more about the higher ranks in Paradise. After all, there are bound to be plenty of traders like me who wish to accumulate our gains, so our kind isn’t rare.”

Nik sighs. He was expecting a more general chat, but that seems less likely. “Just show me everything you have under 20 AP. Another Host forked out a small sum from me, so I don’t have much to offer.”

“I’m sorry,” Accu-mulet offers his condolences. “Those bullies are a thorn to us traders. But we like to keep our distance from combat and such matters. Here is the list of all I have under 20 AP. And I will gladly appraise any item you wish to trade.”

Nik nods without revealing he doesn’t have that either since this is his second world.

“Just out of curiosity, how much is an appraising skill worth?” Nik questions. He doesn’t know if Paradise can sell ‘skills,’ but Nik has yet to come across anything short of a ‘Paradox’ that doesn’t exist in the Reincarnation Trading Facility.

“I’m afraid my appraising skill depends more on my experience. I possess some basic appraising skills, but none are under 20 AP, and they can only appraise weak materials.”

Nik nods before inquiring, “Do you have a bulletproof clothing?”

“Yes,” The Bot smiles widely.

---

The mission ended well if one ignored the sudden disappearance of another military base, leaving the CIA agents unable to take the documents away for further inspection. But it’s not anything the Lagoon can do about it. Nik and Ray acted the same way as others, eventually waking up and being appalled about the situation. Naturally, the military and the two CIA agents wanted to hold Nik and others back—they couldn’t do so since it didn’t take a genius to understand Chang’s protection won’t do jack shit for them.

So, Leigharch stepped the pedal under delirious gunfire as everyone hauled ass to the rendezvous point. Naturally, the Lagoon refused to escort Shenhua and Leigharch back without a pretty sum.

But Nik and Ray were not the same after meeting Accu-mulet.

“I always wondered if I’m above mortal currency after one trip in Aang’s world,” Nik sips his beer before offering the bottle to Ray, who continues drinking her troubles away as they sit on the company’s roof. “But that man slapped me with his money in so many ways that I feel small.”

Accu-mulet is rich beyond belief. And that bot still can’t become an executive?

“Ray,” Nik narrows his eyes. “Sorry, but I can’t spend 1000 years as an Intern. I plan to bottom out my AP and promote again.”

The rules of Reincarnation Paradise dictate that their adventures would be chosen based on their ratings and also centered around the highest-ranked partner to avoid unfair match-ups. Nik has to say there’s nothing fair about their current match-ups, but it is what it is.

“I understand,” Ray sighs. “I didn’t originally plan to stay as an Intern for long, too. But if we’re getting Rank 6 missions as Rank 1, we might as well promote as quickly as possible and gain more advantages from Paradise.”

Yet—

“What are we going to do about it?” Ray whispers, shivering.

Nik’s expression turns grim, his gaze going unfocused yet again as he glances at another prompt from a familiar tag—

[Accu-mulet: I’m pleased to announce an addition to my stock. Please read the contents described below XXXXXX]

[Accu-mulet: I’m pleased to announce a fresh load of discounts on one of my often-used products—XXXXXX ]

[Accu-mulet: I’m…]

It just keeps on going.

The worst part is that Nik and Ray cannot easily block Accu-mulet lest they anger the strange Immortal Bot. The chances of angering a bot are low but never zero.

‘That’s what another trip to an Island gets me,’ Nik accepts the bottle before taking a sip and glancing at his smartphone.

“You have anywhere to be?” Ray questions.

“A date,” Nik hums, stretching his arms.

“Revy is really going to shoot you,” Ray giggles, prompting Nik to smirk. “No, she won’t. I’d already be dead in Roberta’s arms if that’s the case.”

“Be careful,” Ray huffs.

“It’s just a date,” he rolls his eyes.

“With a woman whose kukri throws can damage jeep engines,” Ray scoffs. “You’d want to be careful with those hands around ‘THAT.’”

“Noted~!”

He grins, jumps down the building, and lands in the adjacent alley.

***

Alternate Title: The Unidentified Creature; Massive Bounty; The Man Behind Ants; Underground Hunts; Unreasonable Men and Women; The Sudden Interruption; Another Island; The Escort; Nik’s Everlasting Battle With Political and Pop Cultural References; Shenhua; The Yes-Woman; Revy’s Racially Inclined For Violence; Revy Wakes Up And Chooses Racism; Dem Legs; Revy Found A Better Spot For Her Legs; Yoda The Butthole; When The Empire Chases a Crackhead; The Bot; Military Dismantler; Virtually Immortal; Unshackled; The Bloodline Trifecta; Massive Product Line; Bullies and Traders; The Assassin’s Invitation; Nik About To Show Why Sticks Are Better Than Guns and Knives; Accu-mulet: Hello, I’m Trying To Reach You For Your Car’s Extended Warranty; The Aggressive Salesman; The TraderVerse; Nik Is Really Tossed Into a World With AND Against Literal Monsters!

***

A/N: Shenhua and Eda weren’t originally planned for the harem, but since I’m going to possibly shift Bitch Sensei with another girl, I decided I might go all in.

***

Shenhua