Reverend Rizzsanity: 151
Added 2025-03-12 11:49:24 +0000 UTC
Comments
Ok, so, i think i understand the issues you are talking about (or so I'd like to imagine) but as I began this volume, I did explicitly state that these feelings are unnatural and not because of bai shou's-lo jik's transformation. For lo jik, aside from his ability to piss standing, nothing changed cause he is already at rank 5 peak stage and will rarely any get rewards (making it a prime moment to add ri characteristics of genderbend) and as for guilt and regret... Lo jik is not a 500 year old demon, impervious to it all. By his admission, he adapts and improves--and he moves on. So, as a character, Lo jik is already well rounded because he's not a teen or anything. Bai Ning Bing is not his first failure, and that never derailed him.before... So, obviously... ugh... I really don't wanna spoil but I did write the emotional disconnect starting from vol3, where Bai Shou momentarily wept for Bnb. I do hope I can reach the end of vol 3 with the wind, but I also need to build things up. Thanks for the criticism and despite my words, I will lay extra attention to keep things on the tracks
FanHarem
2025-03-14 16:23:13 +0000 UTCFirst things first. Credit where credit is due. Bai Shou arc, on its own, as a standalone independant story would be incredible. I would say 9 out of 10, especially with this chapter dropping. The things to play around with a guilt and failure of Bai Shou to save Mo Yan (change the backstory a bit and voila) and you can go ballistic further on. As for the problems with the arc. The first and the most glaring one is that Bai Shou does not connect with Lo- Jik, or W. Logic at all. At the start of vol, 3 she was just dropped on us, no adaptation or transformation period at all, indicating that everything was written with 'she thought, she did etc.' creating a monumental divide and disconnect between the protagonist we had come to love and adore and some random poser taking his place. What I assumed would have been a bad thing, now looking back seems a dumb thing to think, to add at the start of the vol. as I read it, namely any attempts to employ 'the trait' or experiments surrounding it due to the change in body, could have, perhaps, been used as a way to connect Bai Shou with the story so far, showing Lo-Jik is still there, deep down, dealing with the loss and stuff. Another problem seems the way that Lo-Jik's character is supposedly evolving and growing through Bai Shou, which it is not, for two reasons. First, the aforementioned divide, making any change from the original to come off as wrong once it does come. Secondly the idea itself that he should change easily. W. Logic was a grown man with quite the character, chasing the dragon that was his traits achievements. To change him should require a monumental event. For example, I would assume that Mo Yan should appear not as the munched version that she did, but one in pristine condition, loving gaze in her eyes, at least until Lo-Jik would realize how he felt, then change into the munched version for him to regret failing to save her or smthn if needed. Subconsciousness making a prio list or smthn. Can't fix what you don't know is broken. Once again, write as you see it fit, it is your creation after all, but these seemed like glaring errors that are bringing down the whole vol. and the longer Bai Shou is in the picture, the worse it feels it gets.
Nuugis
2025-03-14 16:10:35 +0000 UTCSure think, look forward to it ~~
FanHarem
2025-03-14 13:59:12 +0000 UTCI will drop a small rant later that will hopefuly serve as a constructive criticism on what feels off big time with Bai Shou and her arc and not angry rant. I do quite like the way you write your stories after all.
Nuugis
2025-03-14 13:57:31 +0000 UTCSince most of the volume will revolve within the sect itself, I'd say we're almost 1/3 in terms of arc. The second arc of the volume revolves more around Bai Shou/Lo Jik and his advancement. After all, the name of the volume is 3 paths, 2 aperture, and 1 body. 3 paths are set
FanHarem
2025-03-14 11:09:19 +0000 UTCHow far along in the volume you would say you are right now?
Nuugis
2025-03-14 11:07:01 +0000 UTC
