June '25 Newsletter

Got a lot of work on the game done this month, and finished up a few personal things as well.

This month's build feels like it took a lot more effort than the previous monthly builds. A lot of creative blocks and conceptual hurdles have been overcome, and a lot of substantial content has been added to the game.

Five new enemies have been fully implemented into the game, and a whopping 26 rooms have been added. While this sounds like a lot, the new area still isn't fully complete yet, as a handful of rooms still must be implemented and new level assets must be drawn. Unlike the areas created so far, the Sunken Chasm mixes unique hand drawn level elements with tilemaps in certain rooms to create 'visual setpieces'. My hope is that this creates more memorable and inspired areas, rather than solely relying on tilemaps to represent everything in the game. Some of these have been implemented into Monthly Build 4, most notably the broken lift that acts as Naomi's portal to the Sunken Chasm, although other pieces are missing for now. Many bugs and oversights have also been corrected, as I've been stress testing both old and new mechanics while building and testing the new level.

Also, I've more or less worked out what the sex scenes will be, including new defeat scenes for Zarok and Simasix, since I want to at least throw in animation loops for when Naomi loses to a boss. (It feels a bit awkward going to the normal game over when you directly die to a boss...) The Sunken Chasm is very... Classically 'monster fucker' themed, in a way. Hence using 'Chasm' in its title, as a little nod toward Thirstchasm, which was also very monster focused. I think Naomi will get fucked by more monsters later on in the game, but (as of right now) I'm thinking those will be more 'furry' and not quite as DnD-esque or abstract. Going with the water theme, the monsters here that have their way with Naomi will be very 'squishy'... I'll let you imagine that for yourself.

Once the Sunken Chasm is done, it'll be the largest area in the game so far, while also containing the most story elements at this point in the project... This is largely due to the fact that, honestly, when starting Skantish's development I was directionless as to what I actually wanted to say with the game's story. What's in the demo are mostly half complete thoughts and noodling around different ideas. The goal of the next zone build is to solidify the tone and story, and elaborate on events set in motion by the first build. A major supporting character will be introduced near the end of the area, who will appear throughout the game. This will kick off the real plot, and Naomi's overall character arc, though I plan to intertwine story beats from the Isle of Angarr as well later on - since it's not totally separated from the rest of the game's world.

The haze around the game's actual plot and message is what's really held me back from developing it at a decent pace, to be frank. Lately, I've spent a lot of time simply envisioning what I want the final game to be like, bouncing between different ideas and goals. I've been evasive regarding questions about how long the game will be or what kind of content will come later due to the fact that I didn't - and likely still don't know. Although, I have a pretty good grasp on what the game will be now, compared to when the demo initially came out. Keeping with my initial idea of the game's setting being that of warring nations with Naomi being a disruptor, the actual plot of the game will largely focus on character interactions to flesh out the world. Wrestling with the overall scope of the project is something I've been concerned with. So, while as of right now I plan on including a large ensemble of people for Naomi to meet during her quest to breed, I don't plan on them all being extremely fleshed out or three dimensional. The focus will mostly be on Naomi and directly supporting characters that play a major role in her adventure.

Refining and clarifying Tailbound's themes will be my main goal with Skantish's overall moral. Since Tailbound came out, I've spent a lot more time thinking on and working through various sexual and identity related issues. I've also talked to far more people and have gathered more perspectives, as well as personal experiences to draw from. I'm nowhere near the level of being able to make a truly philosophical marvel or anything artsy fartsy like that, but if I can make a story and characters who have issues that resonate with fans of my work and get them thinking about their own lives and goals, that will be enough.

I believe that our culture has gone from sex-positive, to outright sex dogmatic. If you "yuck someone's yum" you're evil. (While, hypocritically, these same people will attack you for your own kinks and interests.) That's the general sense I've gotten since becoming an artist... Promiscuity, open relationships, pushing kinks and the destruction of the traditional relationship, in itself, feels like it's become a new tradition our generation now follows. Sure, I'm terminally online and far deeper in the sex and identity trenches than most are, so I likely have tunnel vision. But if you're reading this, you're likely right there with me fighting this psycho-war. I'm making this game as it'd benefit you, me, and people like us - and no one else.

Skantish in essence will be about finding the courage to shirk such traditions laden onto us, and working toward what we truly want deep down. How we view ourselves, versus what we want to be, always seem to be at odds with one another. It takes a tremendous amount of inner strength to confront these feelings and embrace what we truly want to be - what will make us happy. Breaking the shackles of expectations placed on oneself by others around them, in search for their own true happiness and fulfillment. That's what I want to explore with Skantish's story. Naomi's arc will be her fighting with herself, whether what she's been taught to do is really right for her in the end, and discovering her resolve from a most unexpected place to truly accept herself and strive for what will someday make her happy. I want people to not be afraid to express themselves, to not feel wrong for wanting something no one else seems to agree with... After all, that's why a lot of us find ourselves here in the furry fandom in the first place, is it not?

There's still a lot of refinement to be done on this general theme, but I'm confident in it being the kernel to a story and journey that's worth sharing. ~~And you know, worth spending thousands of hours developing lol.~~

Wake up, get up, get out there.

Woah guys!! Did I tell you I'm a PERSONA fan?? Yeah, I'm sure that's a big shocker after the pseudo-philosophical ramble that was the previous section. And in true Persona fan fashion, I've never even finished P5! ...Up until last week, at least, lmao. I bought Royal while it was on sale earlier this month or at the end of last month or whatever and somehow dunked over a hundred hours into the game to completion since then. This section won't have full blown spoilers necessarily, but it'll elude to certain plot beats.

To be honest, I don't feel like I have a lot to say about the game, despite the fact it's almost entirely story. I think the vast majority of my playtime was spent doing everything except for dungeons - which I only did in a day each. The only social link that felt interesting to me was Yusuke's, if only because I can relate to struggling with the hypocrisy of the human heart and finding a way to intertwine its disparate elements in my work - not going too far into the 'ideal' or the 'real', as it were. Of course like most social links in P5, it doesn't feel especially fleshed out or gripping or anything. Which is a shame, as a lot of P5's runtime is doing social links. In terms of gameplay, I do like how it revives a lot of elements from P2 as well as SMT in general - demons in place of nondescript shadows, a more streamlined version of P2's negotiation, and another element I haven't seen many people discuss.

That being the nod to SMT's moral routes. Not the fact that Joker and Akechi resemble Chaos and Law respectively, but how it goes through representing different potential outcomes for society that largely adhere to SMT's different routes with each antagonist. (And of course, the Phantom Thieves as a whole would represent the neutral route - keeping the world exactly how it is.) Shido - I think - would represent Chaos, as his whole thing is a recontextualization of the classic "world of the strong" idea. And of course, the god of control is just outright Law route stuff. I think the final antagonist Royal adds kind of falls outside of this, which is nice as it plays moreso to P5's overall themes and refines some thematic holes left in the vanilla game.

I still feel like Persona 4 (PS2) is better on the whole, with a stronger overall theme and more engrossing story. Despite P5 being larger in terms of setting, stakes, story... It feels a lot more shallow, like it brings up different concepts yet also doesn't have the time to delve into them - despite being a 120 hour long game. Persona 4 is smaller in all aspects, but that tighter scope I think helps the game really nail the themes and stories it does tell. Certain parts of it still get me choked up, and it's not really a nostalgia thing or anything considering I played it when I was 18 lol. On the other hand, I don't really see Persona 5 having the same effect on me in the long run. The characters are mostly passable, but they don't stick with me as much besides just being somewhat pleasant. Maybe its the fact that, unlike P4, most social link characters just... Don't seem to really have arcs? A lot of them don't really change as people or face themselves, it just feels like Joker is there for them to overcome some minor problem in their life.

Anyway, uhhh those are just kind of my surface level thoughts on the game. Like I said, I don't really have a lot rattling around in my little head about it since it didn't have much of an impact on me. It's a nice game to waste time with and wind down while playing, but Joker is kind of just a gary-sue despite the game initially trying to make you feel like an outcast or delinquent, which immediately goes away after the first dungeon anyway.

Not all those who wander are lost

My ears hurt from listening to Steely Dan too loud. Anyway, I finished reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy the other night. And all I can say is that... I knvvl...

I wasn't expecting a lot to be honest, as I figured watching the extended cut of the movies to be 'good enough' to get the general gist and mood of LOTR. But, I was pleasantly surprised by a lot of things the novels had to offer over the films. The major thing I noticed is how much more balanced the mood and themes of the novels are compared to the films, or even other high fantasy series written by obvious Tolkien fanboys. A lot of high fantasy seems to focus on the 'epic' or 'grim' elements, which LOTR does have, but it also has so much more than that... A genuine sense of adventure, exploration and even mystery or wonder. These elements really help to strengthen those more 'generic' fantasy elements of "le epic battles and setpieces!!!", as you also get a good glimpse into the history and lore surrounding said epic moments. I know Tolkien was basically a giga autist who spent decades writing Middle-Earth's history, so LOTR has an unusual amount of context to draw from compared to other fantasy series... But I don't know, it just makes other novels I've read feel ridiculously shallow now in comparison.

Something in particular I've been thinking about over and over again is Dungeons and Dragons. Like, it makes so much more sense that those early editions of DnD were meant to emulate /this/, what LOTR is at its core. Adventure. Imagination. It makes me even more depressed now seeing what the average DnD campaign is... In fact, I think a lot of modern fantasy only skims the surface elements of LOTR while not truly engaging with or understanding its core themes, and never really embracing the depths of imagination Tolkien loved. Yes, the set pieces in LOTR are memorable. Yes, they make for fun gameplay, and they're something to be inspired by... But, I feel like the journey between and leading to such climaxes is just as, if not more important. I would imagine Tolkien felt similarly, as he was an avid hiker in his day, and those who wander the mountains and countryside know that the journey is just as valuable as the view at the top... Or something, namaste.

Music and Art

I've largely fallen behind on practicing piano, because I fucked up by deciding to swap from book learning to a particular online lesson course I won't bother naming here. The instruction is dry, and doesn't seem to be building toward anything substantial, but what's worse is the 'filler' it has that the instructor insists you do. This consists of playing chords rhythmically to the same set of ~16 songs - and for some reason - he feels the need to spend ~30 minutes worth of video time demonstrating every song every single time a new rhythm is introduced. This results in about 8 minutes of video learning a new rhythm, with more than double of that wasted on showing you how to apply it to chord progressions you already know for songs you don't care about playing - while also not being very well explained. It's pretty much killed a lot of the motivation I had to learn piano, as with learning from the book I was getting really into being able to play different melodies.

There's another course I tried a trial of before buying my Yamaha, and while I liked it for its production quality, I felt that it was very slow in spite of its price point. (Which is also a monthly subscription, unlike the aforementioned course I've been struggling through.) I might just bite the bullet and buy a month of that to see if it helps me improve any better, and if it doesn't by then I suppose I'll just go back to learning from the book. Ultimately, I'm hoping that actually being able to play piano isn't too crucial to writing and composing music in a DAW, but rather something that can aid in that goal... So, I should have time to trial-and-error my way through learning the instrument, as all I really want is to be half-decent with at least playing piano - and maybe one day guitar.

Art's been pretty slow too this month, but maybe for a more substantial reason. Both art and music have been impacted by the amount of time I've been putting into Skantish, but art especially I've had pretty much no motivation to do. I've at least sat down to noodle around at the piano when I've had time, but I've had no real urge to draw anything besides a doodle or two this entire month. To be honest, I've also been reading a lot of self help books and have been materializing the sort of person I want to be in the future in my mind... And no matter what, for whatever reason, being a 'gay furry bottom' never seems to manifest in the thoughts that come to me... I think having gay little fantasies or ERPing scenerios only seems to happen when I'm especially lonely or down trodden, but otherwise I don't really think about sex at all. Hell, even in my dreams lately, if gay sex is somehow a part of them I'm completely uninterested in it even in the dream. It's weird. And, by proxy, I guess I've just been totally uninterested in drawing gay porn or being horny for guys really. Except for Alex, because he's basically grown and changed along with my tastes all these years, hence why I've been pushing him more fem lately... But, he'd never really be a girl in my mind.

This is kind of unfortunate, because it's not like my psyche has done a 180 or anything and I'm suddenly straight and horny for girls... Sure, I've always been more naturally attracted to women and have said as much in the past. But the thought of drawing the type of raunchy kink-ridden smut I'm known for but swapping guys for girls kind of doesn't mesh with my psyche at all - it's almost a turn off to even think about. I don't think all is lost though, and maybe it's just something I have to adjust to and sort out in my mind. Part of the problem may be that I just don't really look at furry porn or porn at all a whole lot anymore. (Well, I've never really looked at real porn, but that's beside the point) Since the end of 2022, I've pretty much explicitly gotten off to ERPing with people and turning over different ideas and scenerios in my mind... It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think I mostly fall back to gay stuff just because it's what's available to me. I don't have any female figure to engage with in a similar way. To me, girls are a kind of mystical untouchable creature that's taboo to even think about in a lewd light - which is why a lot of my female oriented porn is so 'respectful' compared to my normal stuff... I guess it's just hard for me to imagine them being horny, and that hugely impacts my art, lol.

It's something I'll probably have to explore more and acclimate myself to, so I can continue drawing the horny stuff I've always loved doing. I'm mostly busy with the game's development right now anyway, it's just a small problem I'm concerned about and hope to work out in due time.

Conclusion

That's all I can really come up with for this month, I hope it wasn't too boring or pretentious or whatever. I'm going to really push myself to finish as much of the Sunken Chasm as I can this month, and begin really making progress towards my more finalized vision of what Skantish should be. I'm guessing the July monthly build (V) will be the last one before the next full-on Zone Build. (And even then, that's only because sex animations take so long to do, lol.)

Also, I mentioned this on the Discord Server already, but I'm going to start doing monthly art polls on the 20th of every month. This is to make up for the fact I listed voting power in the tier rewards, but only really used it once. I was expecting to get more use out of it by having supporters vote on different aspects of the game, however, that'd only do more harm than good to the game. Relying on polls would not only dilute my own vision, but it'd bloat the scope and add more complications than what's really necessary - just to squeeze money out of Patreon. I may still do some game related polls down the line, but overall I just feel bad for letting those rewards go to complete waste most of the time.