ontasketch

Comic 1 Part 2

Added 2024-04-23 14:06:42 +0000 UTC

I have taken some time to write out some more for the comic. Though this time I took a more freeform approach as I was unsure how to broach the scene so I let stream of though take over a bit. It is not entirely completed but it took me about 1:45 minutes to get to this juncture, I will try and finish it in the morning. I've gotten a bit sick recently, nothing serious, (so far) but it seems like It may get a bit worse before it gets better. Mostly a scratchy throat.

Anyway, I haven't had a chance to do too much correction so I want to share the raw form of this with you now so my apologies if we have some severe grammatical issues. Once I do a second part I'll review what I have and tidy it up a bit, then once the whole block is done for the comic I'll format it cleanly then work on proper scripting.

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(i put these notes at the top as a way to read quickly the gist of the sections): During the conversation, which is key to the bulk of the story, we have to very elegantly tiptoe with the script. This includes highlighting how things are going with everybody, including Mu who always maintains a fly-on-the-wall persona. Each character should dominate the conversation in a way that mirrors their personality. When they're talking about Mu, it should be a chaotic but not lol random. Phrases like "Can you believe he did this?" or "He just disappeared and showed up with some new person they're dating and then disappeared again" depict him as a bit of a free spirit, living life on his own terms.

The Jesse conversation is introduced right at the start but I want it to be clear that Marty has complicated feelings towards him. These feelings need to be subtly hinted at without overemphasizing them. When Taylor asks about Jesse, Marty swiftly changes the topic.

Marty and Taylor spend a lot of time discussing their own lives. (What's important here is to fill in the gaps between characters and highlight how things have changed over time in a way that resonates with fans and readers of the story.)

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Scene 2

Going to break this up a little as I need to portion this so my mind can fit around it. Here are key components to touch for the conversation with Taylor.
Mood
I don't want to belabor the bittersweetness because it shouldn't crowd the general mood, this should be like meeting with old friend and genuinely feel comforting but it's also important that there are distant clouds rumbling from time to time to keep the moment from being saccharine. So to that effort I will need to tread carefully
We can jump directly to Marty pulling a chair up to Taylor or have them in line meeting in queue for coffee, or establish the hell out of the area first. I am quite frankly unsure of the process at this point, my knee jerk reaction is to simply plop marty down right in front of Taylor with the tight film editing treatment. No reason to extend this unless I have a reason to.
I do have this overarching theme of clouds\grayness that I intend to make a theme to the story. Both visually, thematically and emotionally. Not in the sense of it being entirely bad, there is joy to be had on a cloudy day if the right people are around, those moment that are notable are often the ones more cherished so it's not a immediate bad mood thing in my mind. I'll have to play with that. I'm fine with adding cloud, rain, fog motif here and there to sort of lightly pepper it conceptually. That even as life goes on and the color fades somewhat, a joy in those moments can still be found, the color of youth is never to return as vibrant as it did but the life you possess now and how you manage it and who you make part of the lifetime that remains can color the greyest days with vibrant memories, yad-dah, you get it.
With that when Marty sits down, as mentioned there should be a tug of conflict about Jesse, a well known point of conflict amongst the friends if only subtly as a hum, murmur, the rest where never directly aware of but always understood was an underpinning to Marty and Jesse's relationship. I think that can be accomplished by having Taylor note and briefly comment indirectly without naming names, ("been in contact with old friends I see") sort of side stepping stead of directly naming names. Taylor may be a party boy but as an expert socializer knows to test the waters and broach sore subjects indirectly while still being a gossipy bitch who likes to pry of course.
I need to outline about 6 major subjects to cover and intertwine those, perhaps with a bit of distraction from time to time, a dropped glass (though cliche), a loud homeless person asking people for money at each table, etc... Some external factors to help navigate the subject and not just have them pipe up with "what about subject X" sort of thing. It's very important to me that this conversation seems naturalistic, paced, and organic.
I think some moments of quiet, a conversation ends and lingers, Marty hums to himself pensively and observes the gloom outside. Maybe Taylor fiddles with his phone, or plays with a finger ring on his wedding finger, though Taylor would have many rings on each finger, i think poking some subtle hints of either current or past marriage or engagement is enticing and can be kept to the more observant reader.
Mu should be a major initial subject to the conversation as his life has been an open book, Easy going, sharing his life on socials like a normie, updating his work socials. He's left an easy to follow trail that they've kept up with so it would be more discussing the things they've seen him been up to.
I paint this out like they haven't really being seeing each other. But really this is just more of how adulthood sections off how you interact with friends and is no longer a big meetup with multiple people and more of this sort of haphazard, by chance meeting, one to one sort of affair.
For Mu, it's clear hes been busy and traveling a lot, perhaps as a photographer, or maybe he hooke dup with some rich person and is living the high life, I see him getting involved with live promotions, that sort of thing. Sort of swept up from one job to another, similar to Factotum but without all the depressing elements of that book.
So from them sharing what they've seen and their last encounters with Mu, a good spirited conversation can follow, couching any sort of grayness at the start. Even maybe a little of gossiping and dirty talk about Mu's legendary giant cock.
From there it should likely lead into Taylor prying into Mart's life whom is rather tight lipped, not in any real evasive way, he just has very few things to reveal, it's hard to juice up a architect workaholics life and the reality is Marty doesn't really have much to say beyond the few moments he's had with Mu, Taylor in the past and the tumultuous moments with Jesse
Taylor asks if he still crossdresses, specifically be cause Taylor notices he's gone rather dapper and isn't as brazen with his feminine side as he used to be. This is a good moment for marty to flash to his moments at home alone dressing for himself and pleasuring himself before falling asleep. Marty shares hes still into that sort of thing but hasn't had much time but to do it alone when hes feeling frisky.
Taylor pries further, and Marty reveals that he is in fact still doing hookups but its that sort of short lived sort of affair where its clear that although the sexual components are hitting from time to time, that there is so much missing from those experiences that the energy it takes to line up a new hookup makes the process obnoxious and taxing, limiting Marty's chances to fuck.
At this point Taylor offers to fuck him if hes been missing a good once over and reaches over and grabs a handful of his dick. Marty blushes from this brazen and frankly what should be an expected act from his friend Taylor. Marty grows from the humiliation but Taylor relinquishes his grasp seeing how Marty seems to have reverted a bit in his public perversions.
Taylor comments how curious it is that Marty's sort of slipped a bit in the closet with the fem\crossdressing. Taylor makes a general commentary how these youngins now are presenting public as female presenting males and how its become rather normalized in the more liberal circles, including fashion, movie stars and in general as far as sex workers go. No longer really a hidden secret, society seems to have embraced openly lusting feminine presenting males. (Im avoiding the term femboy because I'm not sure exactly how I want that to fit in all of this, sort of like avoiding using the word zombie in zombie movies, I'd like to keep this world detached somewhat to modern terminology but I don't want to obfuscate either so we will have to see where this sits int he grand scheme of things)
Marty reveals really it seems that things never clicked with anyone so it's just been an uphill battle. Taylor takes this opportunity to pry a little more "IF only some frisky Lion boy was there in your life to keep things fun, winky face"
Marty ignores the comment. Taylor forever giving Marty a way out but still being interested.
At this point Marty takes the opportunity to point either the ring on his finger, or a buzz\flash of his phone notification goes off for the 5th or so time.
Marty makes a bit of a snarky comment about Taylor fucking lions boys if he's so intrigued as he seems to have a line of suitors as usual, in reference to the incessant notifications on his phone. "Dont even try to pretend thats work unless you boss is showing you his 8 inch dick on the weekend".
Taylor would deflect by making a light joke about it very much possibly is his bosses dick but in this case it,s a random Grindr pop up. Taylor informs Marty that his account basically becomes a lighting bolt when he's downtown with all the married men working over time looking for ass while having cover from being away from the wife and kids. He turns off notifications but takes the time to explain his current relation\romantic liaison.