Vixen's Mistress Chapter 51: Healed Cuts

Today had been a long day of many ups and downs, and now sitting next to Rayne with a warm cup of tea Hannah felt like she could let it all go. The day was over and tomorrow awaited. After Rayne played with Hannah’s ears of course.

“How did the rest of your day go?” Rayne wished she could easily let go of the day as she normally might, but there was a tiny worry nagging inside of her. Was there a way to address it without being obvious?

“It went well. I had another chance to talk to Damian before seeing him at dinner. I told him a little about Everlial.” There wasn’t going to be punishment coming from Rayne for telling a slave about a land where they were free, but there was still a little worry in Hannah’s voice.

Rayne didn’t miss the little hints of worry in Hannah’s voice. How had previous humans treated her for being honest about the home she came from? Was it better to reassure Hannah that there would be no consequences, or would it be best to continue the line of conversation without drawing any attention to it? “How did he react?”

“He listened and asked questions, but I still think he feels very nervous about it. He’s probably scared I’m trying to trick him. I think he’s scared that we’re all trying to trick him with how we act here.”

“Why would we want to trick him?” As the words came out of Rayne she figured out the answer to her own question. “To have an excuse to punish him…”

Hannah nodded. “Not that humans aren’t known to beat us just because they want to.”

Humans could be disgusting creatures sometimes. Enough that upon occasion Rayne was a little ashamed to be one. “I hope he can find peace of mind in this house soon.”

“I fear that might take some time. He’s only ever known how to act with humans as someone considered lesser than them. I grew up knowing to treat all people equally. I do still worry myself sometimes though…”

That pained Rayne a great deal. Humans had taken away that fact of life from her, and even though she had it again in most regards here, the worry might not ever go away. “Adjusting is hard. Trusting can be even harder.”

Hannah couldn’t agree more. The past week and a half had given Hannah the chance to trust again, and she had most certainly taken it with Rayne and Eda. Still there were defensive walls built up in her heart. Crumbling and broken walls, but still walls nonetheless. “This is a good home though, and I trust he will get there. I’m more worried about how it will feel for him when he goes back to the Keating estate.”

How Damian’s life would be after knowing life here was not something Rayne had considered. Now Rayne did share in Hannah’s worry, especially considering Hannah knew what it was like to go through that. “Though I have stayed at the estate a few times I feel ashamed to admit that I don’t fully know how beastkin are treated back in the servant halls.” Opposing the idea of slavery was easy, but facing the reality of what actually happened to beastkin in this empire was not easy. So much so that Rayne had avoided it in the past. Now she felt shameful for not facing the harsh truth of it.

“I admittedly don’t know what it’s like to be a slave at another noble house either.”

Rayne looked down at the warm tea in her hands. “I’d like to think that Damian having experienced life here would help motivate change back at the Keating’s, but that might be a foolish hope. Uncle Allan is a man with his ways typically set in stone.”

“I hope Lady Margret isn’t like that.”

At the mention of her cousin Rayne felt her chest tighten up a little. “I don’t think Margret’s ways are set in stone. I know she can change and adapt, but it is rather hard for her. Maybe not in concepts and beliefs, but just in the physical changes of routine.”

“That is something I can relate to.” Routine was so helpful to Hannah, even when the routine was bad. Oddly becoming a slave had helped her overcome that initial urge to break down at the change in routine. Or maybe it didn’t actually help, but taught her how to put those feelings behind a mask that this empire expected her to wear. The mostly healed cuts on Hannah’s thigh started to itch; a reminder of how Hannah had actually dealt with those feelings before coming here.

Hannah’s words did not help the feeling in Rayne’s chest. Nor did they help in Rayne's own drive to relate to Hannah. Of course there were things that Hannah and Rayne could relate with that Margret would never share, such as being attracted to women. Unless… The tightness around Rayne’s heart only grew stronger. “Margret told me she came to see you.” Rayne gently berated herself internally for being so direct about what she wanted to talk about when the conversation of Damian might not be done.

“She did.” A small smile crossed Hannah’s lips. She had liked talking to Margret.

Seeing the smile on her fox’s face made Rayne’s heart start to pound in her chest. “What did you think of her?” The answer to that question could either calm Rayne down or make this all ten times worse.

“I liked her. She asked a lot of questions and she wasn’t afraid to ask for clarification when my answers didn’t make sense to her. I really appreciate when people are honest about still not understanding something.”

Rayne was fairly confident she stopped breathing for Hannah’s entire answer. Did Rayne not ask enough questions when they had their lessons? Should she ask more, even if she understood just to appear unafraid to ask for clarification? “Margret has never been one to shy away from questions.”

“It’s helpful when it comes to lessons and it will be nice to interact with someone so attentive in the future.” Whether those questions were for yourself or for another under your care it was always helpful. Though when it came to other people you had to be sure you weren’t hovering over them too much.

Was Rayne not attentive enough for Hannah? Instead of getting competitive over who could be more attentive, Rayne just felt sad. Did Hannah like interacting with Margret more than her? “So she asked for lessons?” Hannah nodded and it made Rayne feel so anxious. “How often?”

“She wanted to start out with everyday and I said that was fine, but depending on how the first few lessons go it might be better to change to every other day to be less overwhelming.” Teaching adults could be a little strange at times. When a kid got overwhelmed it was easy to distract them, with adults it could be more difficult because they were typically more self aware of their own feelings.

Margret was going to have lessons with Hannah everyday? Of course Rayne was spending time with Hannah everyday, but they didn’t have lessons everyday. Did Hannah prefer teaching over how she and Rayne spend their nights? “That’s a lot of lessons.”

Hannah nodded. “Since they are only here till the end of the season Margret wanted to get in as many lessons as she could.”

That made some sense to Rayne. It maybe should have calmed her down a little considering that Margret’s time with her was limited but Rayne’s was going to last decades, hopefully, but it didn’t. Rayne didn’t know if she could last living in this constant longing for her fox with no reciprocation for months let alone decades. “I suppose you’ll be seeing a lot of her then.”

Hopefully Margret wouldn’t become like the hovering parents Hannah had dealt with in the past. “Hopefully not too often. I would prefer to keep check-ins to only once a week. Otherwise she might get overbearing with Damian’s lessons.”

“Damian’s lessons?” Again the second the words came out of her mouth, Rayne finally caught on. “You’ve been talking about her wanting lessons for Damian.” There was so much relief inside of Rayne that it couldn’t help but come out in her voice as well.

Hannah didn’t miss the strange occurrence of relief in her mistress’s voice. Why would she be relieved? “Yes. Lady Margret wants me to teach him to read and write. I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Rayne said, feeling her face heat up just a little. Could Hannah see her face turning red in this darker light?

Now Rayne’s face was turning red and it just made Hannah more concerned. Was there something wrong with potentially having lessons with Margret? Another part of Hannah’s mind drifted to see if her mistress’s ears were turning red, but they were covered by her hair and Hannah couldn’t see them. “Is… Is there something wrong with doing lessons with Lady Margret?”

“No,” Rayne said firmly. The heat in her face wasn’t going away now that Hannah had noticed her concern around Margret and lessons. “No, there’s no problem with it.” Even to Rayne her answer didn’t sound too confident. Feeling more embarrassed, she looked away from her fox and to the tea in her hands. “I just…”

It was confusing that Rayne’s answer had been rather firm, but the way she acted told a different story. Or at least, that was how Hannah was perceiving it. Hannah wanted to press when Rayne didn’t continue, but like the other night Hannah stayed quiet as Rayne found her words. As she patiently waited though, her tail couldn’t help but push a little closer to Rayne and just ever so slightly into her lap.

Rayne could not deny how much better she felt with finding Hannah’s tail gently pushing into her lap. How could Hannah continue to find small ways to make Rayne’s love for her so much grander? With one hand she gently reached out and started petting the fluffy tail. She still needed to finish her sentence though. How could she do that without giving away that she was worried Hannah would be more interested in Margret? “I have this trait of getting competitive over silly things, and, embarrassingly, I was starting to feel competitive over having lessons with you.”

“Oh.” Hannah had overheard the family talk about Rayne being competitive in games earlier but she hadn’t put much thought into it then. Now though, for some reason, Hannah found it cute that Rayne was getting competitive over lessons with her. That combined with Rayne being embarrassed only made the lady feel cuter to Hannah. So much so that her tail was starting to wag a little bit with just how cute Rayne was. “That’s okay. We all have things we can get competitive over.”

Why had Hannah’s tail started to wag ever so slightly? Did she think this was funny? But her words sounded so honest. “Is there something you get competitive over?” That wasn’t the question she should have asked, but there was a big part of Rayne that didn’t want to feel alone in this. 

Nodding, Hannah said, “There was this card game back home, Rinent, that I would get competitive over.”

That did make Rayne feel a little better. That and petting Hannah’s still wagging tail a little more. “I’ve never heard of that game. Is it fun?”

“It is, but it’s rather complicated.”

“I like complicated things. Maybe you could show me some time. There are many decks of cards in the house.” Rayne was a little scared of getting competitive in a game with Hannah, but she also loved the idea of playing a game with her.

Hannah would love that, only it wasn’t that simple. “It doesn’t use the standard deck of cards people use here, and you need a number of polyhedral dice.”

“Polyhedral?”

“Dice with lots of sides.” Hannah hadn’t seen any dice larger than a six sided since coming to Dewath. Not that she had seen or played a lot of games. “I don’t know if you could even find the game here. Maybe in Treysia you might.”

That was a shame. Then again who knows if someone is trying to pass off the game as an Elven artifact. “Well, it can never hurt to look around. There are one or two shops that cater to Treysian culture.” Shops that could be extremely expensive, but that didn’t matter to Rayne. “Speaking of shops, Margret wants me to go out shopping tomorrow. She’s bringing Damian along, and I wanted to ask if you would like to join. Not that you have to, since it is a half day for you to do with as you please.”

Hannah hadn’t put much thought into what she would like to do tomorrow. Of course she wanted to spend time with Rayne, but she could understand that going out with a family guest was a more pressing matter than spending time with her… Still, Hannah could go tomorrow and still get to spend more time with Rayne even if she wasn’t the focus as she had been last time. It would also give her time to talk to Damian more. On the other hand, she could have a good chunk of the day all to herself.

Thankfully most of the heat had finally left Rayne’s face. “I must also apologize because I realized last week that I didn’t offer you the choice.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Mistress. I had a good time.” She really did. The bookstore was the best part. If she stayed here then she could finish her book faster for Rayne to take her there again. However, if soon enough she wasn’t going to see her mistress every night Hannah wanted to spend time with her now. “I would like to go out tomorrow. I don’t have much of an excuse to go outside here much, so I would like it.”

That made Rayne really happy. Sure they weren’t going to be focused on each other like last time, but they would still be going out together. “Wonderful.” Now if she could convince Margret to let them go to a shop that sold pillows.

[Another chapter down. I will admit I've been really struggling with mental health and writing VM over the past few weeks. Normally by now I would already have next weeks chapter done, but I'm only halfway through it right now. I'm hoping to get through my normal amount of chapters before the next break, but with how I'm feeling we'll just have to wait and see. Sorry if that disappoints you guys, but I really am struggling at the moment. That being said my motivation to write the starship story if a good bit higher so there will be more of that to come. Thank you all for reading!]