Hector Can't Catch a Break 2 - Komi-san

Hector P.O.V.

After becoming a student of this crazy high school, I went through the usual new student treatment by being surrounded by my classmates, asking all kinds of questions.

Luckily, I met a lot of them the other day during the snowball fight, so I didn’t waste a lot of time getting to know them, but even so, there are a lot of weirdos here. Well, everyone is a weirdo in some way.

I think Tadano, the average guy, and Onemine, the Onee-san, are the only normal people around.

Well, the rest at least are not bad people… With the exception of Yamai Ren.

“A book of friendship?” I ask with a quirk on my lips while holding the said book in my hands.

Komi, surrounded by Tadano and the others, nods eagerly.

“You know… Social Media exists, but I guess a physical representation of your accomplishment has a certain appeal.” I smile before signing my name 

“Yep, PLUS ONE!!” Najimi shouts and strikes a pose “This calls for a celebration!!”

“You are just looking for a reason…” Tadano deadpans

“Whatever, let’s go to the winter festival tonight.” The Genderless Eldritch Monstrosity that feeds on bonds of friendship says.

“Well, I have nothing better to do.” But I can’t say that is a bad idea, I’m in this world to enjoy the Japanese high school experience. “Which time?”

It has been some time already…

“We meet at 18h anywhere, we will end up barging on each other at some point.” Najimi leads the whole thing like the social butterfly it is.

“Is this one of those formal festivals? like… Would it be out of place if I wear a yukata?” I ask

“No!” Najimi gives me a thumbs-up “Go all out! You will receive a lot of attention from the ladies… I can get some money from the onee-sans and oka-sans interested in you.”

“...” Is it trying to whore me?

“Ouch! Ouch!” I grab her head with one hand and squeeze “Sowwy! Sowwy! I was just gonna sell your number to them!!”.

That doesn’t make things better.

………………………………..

Later that night, I went to the festival alone, wearing a yukata that my Mio once made for me. It’s a black piece with details of white lotus - my favorite flower - here and there. My chest is a little too exposed, but my girls liked it, so whatever.

“Oh, Hector-san, going all out on the Japanese style, huh?” I turn my head to see Onemine with Otori, the slow girl.

“Hiiiiiiiiiii~~” Otori greets, and I return with a wave.

“When in Rome…” I smile “I have to say that I'm disappointed that I couldn’t see you in a yukata, Onemine-san. Or you, Otori-san.” I flirt a little to be polite.

She laughs good-naturally. “Not for me. And you made me call you by your first name, and you are still calling me by my last name.” She says, while we start walking inside the festival, looking for the others

“Just a cultural thing… I know that it means a lot more around here.” I shrugged while casually pulling Otori closer to us, because she was already wandering off, almost losing herself in the crowd.

Onemine saw that and smiled. As we continue to talk, I was suddenly tackled by a Najimi torpedo.

“Hectooor~ You are finally here! Come with me!!” The creature starts pulling me around to the game stalls.

“Calm down, Najimi.” Onemine tries to calm the strangely eager creature, but with no avail.

“Auntie, one try!”  The creature stops in front of a game of pulling ropes and slaps some money in the older woman's hands. “Hector! Pull a rope. I want the PS4!”

“...” Now I see what is going on… She is using me…

“What is this about?” Onemine asks confused

“Hehehe~” Najimi smiles maliciously. “Hector is an overpowered character. From my 5 million friends, he is my only UR! It took me a long time to pull him.”

“Don’t treat me like a character in a gacha game.” I deadpan.

“He has an EX Luck, he can do anything! Tonight we are gonna dominate the festival!!!” She shouts with fire in her eyes

“…” So that is why she wanted to come… Everything else was an excuse.

“Eh… I don’t think this is a thing, Najimi. Don’t put pressure on him.” The ever-tactful and kind Onemine comes to my defense.

“Ooohh~” Otori only looks interested.

I sigh and go to pull a rope that I choose randomly. I can use my powers to cheat, but why bother?

Pull “YEEEEEEESSS!” Najimi shouts after seeing me pull the PS4 in one try. A lot of ropes are connected to tissues and other useless things. 

My luck is indeed strong. The owner of the stall is crying… now I feel bad. She didn’t even cheat like most people at festivals do. I am gonna sneak some money to her later, to pay off the console.

“Okay, that is really impressive…” Onemine concedes, and Okori claps very slowly.

“Let’s go! There’s a lot more to conquer!” Najimi starts pulling me away with one hand while hugging the PS4 with another. “I pay the fees and you play! A win-win situation!”

“I don’t know if you deserve my help…” I deadpan, but I guess I can show off a little.

What comes next can be considered a family-friendly massacre. Where we pass, we leave behind devastated stall owners. We pillage their prized possession and inundate the land with their tears.

I win every single thing…

Swish Swish I scooped all the goldfishes from the tank using only one paper scooper. My hands were a blur of activity while people applauded.

I hit every single target, too, winning the big prizes. The ring toss was equally easy, and so was the ball toss.

With surgical precision, I cut the candies too.

All the strength testing machines are maxed out with one casual hit.

And I don’t even need to say anything about the games of luck.

“My compulsion to platinum games took me too far today…” I sigh.

Najimi is literally buried in prizes.

“Do you think, Demon King?” Onemine asks with a sarcastic smile.

I groan… Demon King is my moniker now after I destroyed the games. That was the easiest way I gained the title. I reached Demon King status half a dozen times already.

“Not that I complained.” She laughs while showing her own prizes.

Najimi can’t carry everything she gained, so obviously I gave some to Onemine and Okori. She didn’t accept anything more expensive than some stuffed animals and goldfish, to her siblings, she said.

“Hehehehe~ I can’t wait for the next festival~” Najimi giggles evilly, her voice muffled by the pile of things she is carrying.

“This festival hasn’t ended yet…” I give her a side glance.

“Yeah, whatever. I got everything I need.” The creature says dismissively.

We also finally meet Komi and Tadano… She is wearing a nice Yukata too, and Tadano is looking average as always.

Huuummmm~~ Onemine and I couldn’t help but give them a smug knowing grin so that they could blush.

When Yamai Ren appeared and started salivating because of Komi’s exposed nape or something like that, I hit her pressure points to knock her out.

The night was good~

……………………………………………….

“Now the Council of Men is in session…” 

Days after the festival, I suddenly find myself in a dark classroom, surrounded by dark figures… It’s my classmates.  No surprise here.

The group of male classmates being led by the “pervert trio”, I mean… Cultured Trio.

Buddha Guy, Female pervert, and Closed eyes with slick hair Guy. Toutoi, Ohai, and Fukusuki are their names.

“... we are reunited to judge Hector-san.” Buddha says solemnly, his hands together in a prayer gesture.

“Why am I being judged?” I ask, amused.

“Silence!” Pervert Girl shouts.

“Calm down. Hector-san, today we will decide if you are a friend or foe.” Closed Eyes pervert says.

“Foe?” I ask confused

“Don’t tilt your head cutely, you bastard! That’s your problem! You are too hot! You are acting like that to secretly steal all the girls, right??” A council member shouts angrily.

“Bastard…”

“I will not let you taint Komi-sama with your filthy intentions…”

“Commit seppuku.” One spat, he even has a blade in his hands.

Most people seem against me here, but there are ones that are just going with the flow. Look at Tadano giving me a difficult smile, he is gonna save me if things go south.

I see… I can’t deny that I had my fun making some girls blush. With the exception of Komi and Yamai, for different reasons… but I don’t know why this much enmity.

Nah, I know why. Just a little healthy amount of envy. Happened before more times than I care to count… My luck with women and gallant ways made trouble fall into my lap more than beautiful dames.

“Stop smiling roguish, you scum!”

“Ah, sorry…” I laugh “But guys, I’m just being myself… Playing harmlessly with the girls. A little teasing here and there… It’s nice to see their reactions, right?”

“He is right…”

“It was really a treat…”

“Blushing girls soothe my soul…”

“Like the blooming of flowers after a rain.

“No one is harmed too…”

“Don’t fall for his tricks. He is doing the same thing he did with the girls with you!” My biggest objector, Pervert Girl, shouts.

Busted…But I can still turn this around. “This only proves that my intentions are pure and playful. I don’t discriminate regarding sex. I joke with everyone… But can you blame a guy for teasing girls differently from boys?”

“Yeah… I can see that too…”

I see some nods around. 

“It’s equality…”

“Shut up! The court is still in session!” Pervert Buddha brings order. “It seems we have divided opinions on whether we should execute Hector-san...” 

“Excuse me… Execute?”

Ignoring me, he continues “... or if you will be accepted into our ranks.”

“I didn’t even say that I want to join your cult…” I deadpan, but they ignore me again.

“Now Hector-san… Answer the question!” One declares strongly

“Your answer will decide your fate!!” Drums?

“Okay, go on…” I shrug.

“Answer the question…” They chat together…

A dramatic pause extends for some time before Pervert Buddha asks.

“Boobs or ass?”

“......................”

I should have expected that. I also know the right answer.

I am in Japan, they love breasts around here… I can lie and get over it.

But a real man can never lie about his passion.

“Ass.” I answer strongly.

As expected, only 20%ish of the people around don’t react negatively to my answers.

The rest or they look outraged or simply shook their heads.

I can’t let things go this way…

“What? Is the wrong answer?” I ask innocently.

“There’s no wrong answer to that question… But your answer didn’t gain any points with the council.” Pervert Buddha shakes his head regretfully.

“Hmpf, you guys are a bunch of kids then…” I scoff to provoke them.

“What did you say?!” They take the bait.

“Only kids don’t understand that ass is better.” I repeat my words “kinds like breasts because of breastfeeding, the act of survival… men likes ass, hips and everything udnerneath because is our duty… Our Mission! To propagate our genes and guarantee the survival of the species!!!” I declare with conviction. 

My will takes over the room while they recoil in front of my presence.

“It’s beyond the selfish act of survival… It’s about the whole human race!” I continue.

Some “ughs” and “arghs” echoes while they conviction are hit directly by my words.

“Breasts are only breasts, while ass is never alone! It has thighs, hips… The union creates a great force of attraction to the male gaze!” I continue with righteousness.

“Ugh…”

“Let me ask you something… What would you prefer… A woman with big breasts and no ass, or a woman with ass but flat as a board?” I ask around, turning to look directly at their eyes “A woman with big breasts and no proportional ass looks weird… While a flatchested girl with a thicc lower body has a different flavor…”

“Nggh…” Now that they are thinking about it, they can see reason.

“Breasts are not about size! We love them in all sizes!” Pervert Girl bites back.

“I know! Flat is justice, edium is premium, and OPPAI IS TRUTH!” I immediately say

“He knows the words…” Some whispers in amazement.

“It’s not like I dislike breasts, I learned to accept them in all sizes… But I love ass more ebcause of what they represent. It’s a show of personality!”

“Breasts also have personality!” Pervert girl asks.

“How can it be… If is decided at birth?” I ask slowly “Should a girl be defined by what she can’t control?”

“...” She fell into silence.

“Ass on the other hand can chance… A girl can train, it can increase, grow firm… Ass is fair!”

“Ugh…” She can’t argue against it.

“Loving ass is more than loving a part of a woman’s body. It’s loving the effort she puts on her ass… It goes beyond lust, it’s pure admiration.” I open my arms to them.

“He is shining…”

“I feel enlightened…”

“Is that god behind him?”

“I can see my ancestors nodding.”

“He carries the golden providence, he must be right…”

They are on their knees, crying and accepting the enlightenment.

I gained everyone but one…

“Ugh… I can’t…” pervert girl stays on all fours, tears pooling on the ground beneath her face. “I can’t accept that… I can’t betray boobs. Uhh” She cries.

“...” Everyone can understand how she feels… She is in a dilemma. She can’t argue against my arguments, but boobs brought her too much happinness to be replaced like that.

I walk to her. “Ohai-san…” After she looks up, I continue “Don’t feel bad…”

“...”

“Boobs are great. They are beautiful, comforting, pure… Each one is different and great in its own way. Each one a surprise. While ass keeps us linked with our ancestors, with our primal instincts… Boobs keeps our inner child alive. A good bosom can heal any man.”

“U-uh… Hector-dono…” Tears fill her eyes while she struggles to hold them.

“I feel bad for ass being undersestiamted, for people know that every ass is the same… Big boobs are rare and cool, but a high grade ass should be equally appreciated. Don’t feel like you are betraying boobs for liking ass too…”

I extedn my hand to her “Boobs or ass… The best ones jiggle.” I smile.

Sniff Sniff I can hear crying around the room.

Pervert Girl finally takes my hand, and I help her stand up.

“I guess I can accept you after all.” She wipes her tears and smiles beautifully.

Everyone claps. 

“This is a great moment.”

“So beautiful.”

“World peace started here, in this room.”

“We should spread the gospel.”

Amidst the very nice and pure atmosphere, we hear a cold voice.

“What are you idiots doing?”

“.............................” All guys robotically turn their necks to see the girls spying on us through cracks in the curtains. Most of them are looking at us like we are pieces of trash.

Komi-san is just looking at us curiously with her wide, cat-like eyes.

“Uh-oh.”

“How much did you guys listen?” I ask

“Enough, Ass-man.” Onemine smirks

Ahem Time to do it again! “Am I wrong, tho?” I raise a challenging eyebrow

“You are disgusting…” Shut up, Yamai Ren.

“So you are saying that it is wrong for us to admire the effort that girls make to look pretty? Healthier?” I ask

“He is doubling down…” 

“He is cooking.”

“He is really our god…”

“He is the Chosen One.”

The guys admire me when they see seeds of doubt appear on the girl's face.

“All we do is love you and pay attention to the things you want us to pay attention to… Sorry if we can’t express ourselves better. We are dumb and love you all too much.” I put a hand over my heart. “I don’t know the name of the fancy cosmetics, or the brands of clothes, or the ten thousand colors of nail polish. But we, men, always appreciate your efforts in looking great… From the short-lived ones of putting on makeup and cute clothes, to the long-term ones of dedicating yourselves to a sport that molds your whole physique.”

“..........” Seeing their unsure face, I smile.

“Appreciating your bodies is appreciating your way of life…” I never failed. That is why Cortana says I can’t use my charm for evil.