Patron editing and early viewing: Born of Caution Act 2 Ch 7
Added 2022-09-11 14:52:04 +0000 UTCOkay here we go. A little shorter than usual but I had to cut out a lot of useless fluff. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YKZRlXKzY1dtdpK2WattYj2o0CnJ210HimvBiHFi_Us/edit?usp=sharing
READ ONLY
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_86WwBFZVMUrz0WPOfwXhhZL1KsjAnPE47MmD6g8BoM/edit?usp=sharing
EDITS
Reminder to open up the doc in an incognito tab if you don't want your gmail name displayed
Comments
Question what is the preferred method of opening the word document on mobile as whne I try to read it it's tiny
ciaran mullen
2022-09-12 19:07:22 +0000 UTCAs sad as it is, I don't have time to read this right now. Oh well, I'll look forward to bingeing this and the later chapters when I get a chance in the future. Godspeed Fuggman, you've made something amazing, don't let this masterpiece stay unfinished, it's too perfect for that.
CMDR Dantae
2022-09-12 14:27:56 +0000 UTCThat makes the foreshadowing by the author even better. I had no idea but they way she had no information about them made me think they might either be super rich/owner of the thread service or a pokemon. Them being a ninetales fit better in the context of spreading ninetales information.
Ethan Hand
2022-09-12 14:21:20 +0000 UTCSome sort of movement skill would be nice, but wouldn’t be exactly necessary. Flannery has bulky Pokémon that can hit hard, and thus are unopposed to a long game, so a move that capitalizes off of that would be perfect. The range weakness needs to be shored up, a movement skill could help with that, but a new move for the long game would be most favorable since preexisting moves can be applied to the initial problem. That said, we don’t know what Moores custom moves are and do, and so it would be difficult to create a custom move that they don’t already cover, as we sorta saw with burning ash. Actually, now that I think about it, that would be a problem for Lee too. He doesn’t know what Moore’s custom moves do either, and that seems like something that should at least be glossed over before he starts brainstorming something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
FatCat3000
2022-09-12 02:07:07 +0000 UTCAnother angle they could go is addressing the root of the problem and make a move that improves the agility/maneuverability of Flannery's pokemon. A fire-typed Agility, Quick Attack, or something that uses the thrust of a jet of fire to reposition would be a more attractive offer I think as instead of having one move to deal with the weakness, they would have a move that would let them use all of their other moves in that situation.
Russell Todd
2022-09-12 01:37:02 +0000 UTCLakoko is an anime character of the day and yes, she is a ninetales. She’s in the later part of the Johto saga. A number of centuries old, she has gained the ability to create illusions of both the environment and people that can talk. Also Brock looks just like her original trainer, so there was a brief love plot in her episode. You can find her own page on bulbapedia.
FatCat3000
2022-09-11 22:05:31 +0000 UTCYeah that’s a good point. I feel like lava plume should at least be recognized in the story the way the protect solution was. Plus can you imagine a master-level lava plume being an all consuming cloud of ash bearing down on you? That really hits the wow factor. Still, a new move brings that razzle dazzle that Moore is looking for.
FatCat3000
2022-09-11 22:00:40 +0000 UTCThe time spent reading a thread this chapter was at the best I believe it could be. The only thing better would be no thread at all. I’ve read a bunch of stories that use threads to symbolize public reaction (normally offshoots from worm). They usually hold my attention for a little bit then I skip to the end. I can only read so much about what random pleb 1 or random pleb 2 have to say before it becomes boring. What kept me attentive this chapter was the messages being posted by important characters which gave more meaning to what I’m reading. I enjoy public reaction as much as the next guy but pages of text reacting to vulpix evolving (the most memorable of which being a guy commenting on a guy misspelling ninetales) is too much. I don’t know how hard it is for you to write the threads but it seems like more work for much less reward in my eyes. Another thing interesting thing this chapter was bringing up this mysterious lokoko character who I have no clue of. A good use of the thread system. Mysterious chat groups also work well. Best case scenario in my mind is they are themselves a ninetales, but who knows. Thank you for the chapter!
Ethan Hand
2022-09-11 21:42:22 +0000 UTCTrue but remember they are looking for something new that'll make people go 'wow/oh crap!' vs a known move.
Straven
2022-09-11 21:40:50 +0000 UTCThe rain of fireball move sounds cool, but wouldn’t lava plume be the solution here? Plus it’s a move that all of Flannery’s team learns… still the custom move sounds great.
FatCat3000
2022-09-11 19:36:01 +0000 UTCHe joined Fox Friday, all is right with the world. Please, more snippets from that group in future chapters!
Haschen
2022-09-11 18:04:02 +0000 UTCGood chapter. A little short but otherwise fine.
Orion Dye
2022-09-11 15:44:58 +0000 UTCThis is awesome! I think at a later point in the story, you could do an omake or extra about how lokoko was first introduced to battle net and her misadventures, alternatively I would love to see more battlenet. PHO and the various sites based around it in fanfictions are a personal favorite of mine. Loved the chapter, you do amazing work as always.
Ethan Prince
2022-09-11 15:11:36 +0000 UTCGood work , I love this fic
Hector Gregorio
2022-09-11 15:09:19 +0000 UTCThank you!
Kyle
2022-09-11 14:52:44 +0000 UTC
