Charlotte and the Confectionary Storage Warehouse

What's that you say? Sounds a lot like Charlie and the Choc... no, no, don't be silly! This is an entirely unrelated confectionery business venture with unorthodox staffing procedures and ethically questionable health and safety!

This little scene (and potentially sequence) is something I've had stuck in my notes for years: Charlotte isn't a particularly nice person - bossy, rude and greedy, she nonetheless found (or more likely pushed) her way onto a tour of the mystical Confectionery Storage Warehouse near her town. Of course, when faced with a myriad of delicious and delectable treats, her greed flipped into overdrive. Charlotte's sense of self-entitlement meant that it was hard for her not to feel that she deserved a taster, a treat, a try of the glorious goods within the Warehouse.

Of course, much to her surprise, the staff were only too obliging... leading her by the hand, the Plumpa Lumpas would be more than happy to let Charlotte sample the delights of the Confectionery Storage Warehouse. However, there is a catch - back in Plumpa Land, the original home of the Plumpa Lumpas, they have a very different system of etiquette: All the Plumpa Lumpas want to do is please and help - they literally live to serve (hence why they make a great low-cost tax-free work force without the need for a Dental Plan, but anyway...) and so they do their upmost to keep you happy. If, for example, during a meal you got up to leave, they would deem it a failure on their part - you may be unhappy, or not have had enough to eat, or need another drink - and so they will do their best to keep you in their service. After all, they live to serve, and without someone to dote on, they too will become unhappy!

So despite Billy Conker's warnings, Charlotte took the Plumpa Lumpas hand and followed them with the promise of some cake. Probably. Plumpa Lumpas really aren't great communicators, but they do love to sing entirely original songs...

Plumpa Lumpa Doop-a-dee-dee,

Wanting a taste of everything you see!

A piece of cake and a cookie or two,

Could sure do things for a girl like you,

But getting what you want and getting the most,

Will start to seem like an empty boast!

Plumpa Lumpa Doop-a-dee-dum,

Giving in to gluttony can sure be fun!

Greedy girls could learn a lesson from this,

Eat what you want but there is a twist,

Hooked on a lust for something tasty and sweet,

Until you start realise it's more than just a treat!

Plumpa Lumpa Doop-a-dee-doo, 

Following your appetite without a clue!

This can't possibly end well...