AGG: Sword Side Stories

Occisor 2

Commissioned by zomfgmikeftw

Word Count: 1010

…

Vacations are truly the most terrible atrocities to ever be created. Not only was I bereft of Master’s presence, there was nothing else for me to do. It was both a test of patience and endurance, and I loathed the notion completely and utterly.

“If you want something to do, you can come along with us.” The voice of my savior comes from an unexpected source. It is the wielder of that damnable spear which had triumphed over me. While I certainly preferred Master in Master’s current state, no proper weapon would allow a loss go unremembered! “There is no need to growl, Occisor-san. We are merely conducting a raid for foodstuffs.”

“And, teasing whole hordes of men with no prospects.” Ah, the Saint was present as well. Under normal circumstances, I’d fret for my master’s safety with such a being present, but she was practically begging to be defiled. It will only be a matter of time before Master made her his. Should he advance upon her, she’d surely crumble before him. “Maid cafés have pretty generic food, but their clientele is always fun to tease.”

Ah, the two were conducting a faux-Maid mission, where they would feign being servants for praise and foodstuffs from the impudent masses. Truly, the masses ought to offer us all gifts regardless of our current state, but Master was benevolent and allowed all to go about their lives without asking for tribute. 

Still, thought I was aware of the situation, I waited for the third to speak of their number to speak. 

The Dhamphir who Master was planning to properly conquer, the assassin, flushed at my gaze. As she should, given that she ought to not even consider betraying Master’s trust!

While Master ought to have a proper time, with the art of seduction at play for his enjoyment, I would not stand for one he pursued to practice such a skill on other men!

“I’m running interference for the lot of you. Disguises and all that. We can’t have our image ruined by the three of you gallivanting around in frills and having meals bought for you.” Ah, of course. Master trusted her with the maintenance of his household, therefore she would do her utmost to see outings such as this one to not affect the future. Truly, Master thought of everything. “If you think I’m dressing up to just get a free meal, you’re wrong.”

“Because Song would sooner see himself starving before he thinks you’re hungry for a second, Shizi.” The Reincarnation of Michael is nothing like her previous iteration. I much prefer this one. She is blunt, instead of cloying, and has an edge about her. A proper soldier, rather than some hero. Also, she has no hesitation in causing others embarrassment. Indeed, the Dhamphir’s features were now as red as her gaze.

Quarta chuckles at the sight. Her impressive figure, bountiful in curves and bound in muscle, was alive with motion as she laughed. Indeed, she was very much a woman when not clad in her armor. “Good one, Ioseva. I’m going to make a proper tease out of you, yet!”

“The two of you are both incorrigible. A Dhamphir partaking in the blood of another is sign of trust and respect, not of romantic intent.” I ignored the Dhamphir’s protests in favor of considering the situation. 

I was being asked to socialize, something that Master explicitly encouraged me to do. That was enough reason for me to do as I was asked. However, there was also the outcome of this outing resulting in the increase of my abilities. While I am already lovely and incredible, Master shall surely appreciate me advancing in the art of the maid, as I will surely be comforting him in the days to come!

Yes, I will go, as to become a better servant for my Master! 

…

“Wow, we literally had no one come to the café the whole time.” Quarta’s words cause the very depths of my soul pain. Truly, she was one blessed by God to cause suffering onto His enemies! “You seriously scared every single person away, Occisor.”

I am sure that the Reincarnation of Michael would have words for me, but she was currently stuffing her face whilst still clad in her uniform. I did not like how she had That Spear at the ready.

“Beauty doesn’t equal approachability. The managers had a good idea of putting Occisor in the front, but that just had everyone starting at her from a distance.” The Dhamphir shows no mercy as well. She outlines my failures clearly. 

Doubtlessly, her words were correct, I hadn’t been cute enough to be approachable! Master would surely run from me the moment I attempt to be kind and comely!

I am, without a doubt, a failure as a woman!

“Ummm. So, she can still hear us even when she’s just a sword surrounded by a French maid outfit, right?” No, Saint! I cannot hear you! I am a mere chunk of metal incapable of feeling, hearing, seeing, and other such things! I am a miserable sword with no appeal; utterly incapable of eliciting affection from even those willing to pay for such things! “I’m going to take the tears streaming out from the blade as yes.”

“Let her suffer. I was going to get at least fifty combo lunches for free, but here I am eating food I bought with my own money.” Indeed, heed the words of the one who hates me so. Her feelings are true, and what you all ought to feel as well! I am a but a miserable piece of equipment suited only solely for destruction!

“Now, now, Occisor. There’s no need to cry. Song likes you just how you are.” As a weapon meant for destruction, assassin!? How cruel! Do you mean to say that I am utterly incapable of being lovely!? “Okay, that didn’t work. The sword is now literally in a puddle of tears.”

I’ll never be cute enough to make Master smile!