Phantom: Interlude: The Sage of the Crimson Dragon

Phantom: Interlude: The Sage of the Crimson Dragon

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Commissioned by Blfqy

Word Count: 2527

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“Alright, on the count of three.”

“Right.”

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

“Sage of the Crimson Dragon!”

“Breast Dragon Emperor!”

Bwahahahaahah!

Bwahahahahahaahhaha!

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

I don’t care if I’m trapped in an endless expanse nothingness anymore! I’ve won at life! Yes! Not only do I have super martial arts, live in the future where there’s VR, part of the Preservers, and in a relationship… but my alternate universe counterpart doesn’t have any of that! None! Zilch! I’ve won!

What a loser! My alternate self doesn’t have internet access! He can only get whatever that stupid pervert reads! This is the best! I’m better than myself! I’m literally the best me that I can be! I’ve got a better host, better accommodations, and better prospects! Yeah, you loser, you heard that right! If I play my cards right, I can get a human body, you loser!

“What the hell!? Why is this so unfair!? My older self from a parallel world is better than me in every way!? Reality! Are you telling me to give up and die!?” My younger, parallel self lamented his existence. Ha! Even though your world isn’t being hurt by the Chimera, and the whole world is intact, and you’re NTRing my best friend, I’m the better man! Bwahahahahahaah! “Why am I the Breast Dragon Emperor when he’s got a super cool nickname… and is still bullshit even while human! He’s not even a Devil and he can fly!”

“Sage Martial Arts, you inferior copy! Sage Martial Arts!” Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! Finally, I have a measuring stick that I completely and utterly dwarf! Myself! Well, actually, I should always use my past self as a measuring stick, but that’s beside the point! I’ve won! Really! I’ve completely won against my counterpart from another dimension! Yes! “Accept it! You’re the evil twin here! Not me! My whole world is trashed and unrecognizable, so the fact that I’m stronger and more skilled doesn’t make me evil! It justifies the fact that you’ll lose against me, because your world is so much easier and more peaceful!”

“Ghrk! T-that’s not true at all! At all! I-I’ve gone through a lot of troubling things!” How cute, I say! How cute! What can my Devil-reincarnated, girl-hoarding, and non-Chimera Incursion alternate self have experienced that’s worse than my own!? Go ahead, my parody! Go ahead and tell me what you’ve gone through that holds  a candle to what I’ve gone through! I’ll let you know… I’ve been through freshman year hell of college!!! And, fought Trihexia! And a Monarch! But, mostly college! “I’ve… I’ve fought against Vali and won! I bet you haven’t done that, especially if he’s raised by a super spy agency that saved the world!”

“What?”

“Hah! See! I am better—

“He? But, Creighton’s a girl.”

“What.”

I carefully considered the situation.

So did my counterpart.

We both arrived at the same conclusion, at the same moment.

“What the fuck your Vali’s a guy/girl!?”

How deep does this freaking rabbit hole go?

“Is she hot!?”

“Well, yeah, but—wait! You’re not NTRing my best friend in our dimension, especially with my face, you bastard!”

“I’M NOT INTO NTR, DAMMIT! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO LI SONG IS!”

“Obviously, that’s because your world is super backwards and weird!”

“Your Vali doesn’t have balls!”

“Don’t shorten Valerie to Vali! Don’t give my best friend’s crush a nickname! Don’t even think about Creighton!”

“I SAID I’M NOT INTO NTR!!!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOUUUUU!!!”

I had a feeling that we were going to end up over blows over NTR the moment he admitted to having a harem with Himejima-san, Quarta-san, and Shirone-san.

Though, I had to give him props for being manlier than me and accepting Argento, I couldn’t ignore his perverse, unsaid questions when her asked about Creighton!

Those oppai are for my best friend, not for you, devil child!

…

We weren’t getting anywhere!

“I’ve told you a hundred times! The shitty doppleganger is you! I’m the prime Issei Hyoudou!”

“We’ve established that I’m the protagonist in my reality! You’re like the heroic Kouhai who manages to do something cool to set up the protagonist’s victory!”

“Yeah! Exactly! That means I have depth! I don’t just get superpowers out of my ass, especially by having Devil juice squeezed into me after I die! That’s just shitty LN contrivances! I actually worked hard!”

“Hey! You said yourself that being trained by an Aspect is the same as being reincarnated as a Devil! Take those words back, right now!”

Augh! Dammit! I fell into my own trap! Surprisingly, my doppelganger was astute! Then again, we were essentially the same people, except in some cases. Our intellect must be at the same level. While I had experience and the Truth to back me up, my doppelganger was a teenager, who was surprisingly insightful at times! I was both proud and annoyed at the fact that my alternate self was arguing with me to a standstill!

Change places with me, then. My alternate self is being a wimp. Apparently, he’s super lonely and bored, so he’s trying to be the wise, all-powerful dragon, but his host’s just a pervert who accesses his power against his will via touching boobs. Before you ask, no, I don’t know how that works. Maybe, it’s because a huge pervert, and a Devil with more than one pawn piece inside him?

“Hey, pay attention! We’re not done with this! I’m going to prove that I’m the original, dammit!” My younger self jabbed a finger at me, before pointing at my Communicator. He didn’t have access to it, so I had to keep score, even when it was his win/my loss. It was irritating. What kind of backward place did his world have to be to not have hologram interface tech!? What the heck was CORE doing over there!? “That’s a point for me! And, you lose a point for backtracking and admitting you’re wrong!”

“Dammit, fine! Be that way! You know that you’re being evil and conniving by forcing that on me, anyway!” I ticked a point in my favor, before erasing my point, and granting him his. He sputtered, but he couldn’t formulate a response. Ha! I say, ha! I’m still in the lead! By one point, but I’m still in the lead! Winning is all that matters! “Now, what else do you got, kid?”

“Urk.” I was used to the sound of defeat, especially when it came from my own mouth. Suffice to say, my alternate self hasn’t given up yet. His spirit remains strong. He is utterly convinced that he is right. Therefore, I would have to insure that my victory is completely and utterly ruthless. But, not too ruthless, because that would make me the bad guy. And, I had no intention of proving myself to be the evil twin from another dimension. “F-fine then… what are your feats!? Even if you’re supposed to be the important sidekick character who lets the hero win, you’re supposed to have pretty good feats, because training isn’t good enough to justify winning!”

Aha!

Little did he know that I had a ton feats…

Like…

Uhh…

“Are we talking solo feats, or while working together.” I asked for a clarification. For no reason. I just wanted to know. Nothing important. “You’re asking about solo fights, without me working with someone else, correct?”

“Yeah! Tournament Arcs, boss battles, and monster hunting episodes, stuff like that! I’ve been through loads of those! And, I helped a lot of people, not just girls, but doing them!”

Mhmm…

Yes…

I see…

“Yeah, I got nothing.” I shrugged and gave him a point. Sure, not having any feats sucked on paper, but what was the point of that? Fighting alone against the things I fought would be suicide, so I was fine with letting him get that particular point. I mean, sure, I would like to be the glorious, powerful hero who won the day, but I couldn’t exactly do that. “I’d probably have died if I tried to do any of that the last couple months.”

I was about to tick the point towards his favor, when my alternate self grabbed my wrist.

“Say that again.”

“I’d probably have died?”

“After that.”

“The last couple months?”

I must’ve sounded as confused as I felt, because my younger, alternate self threw up his arms in defeat.

“Yep, that settles it, I’m the evil clone. You’re just starting your adventure, while I’ve been doing this for years since highschool, and you’re still human.” What? Wait, so everything he’d told me… he’d been doing it for years!? I thought we started at the same time, but he was just younger! What the heck!? Who lets a kid go around do stuff like that! Wait, Ulrich, don’t hurt me! Wait, Ulrich, come and hurt me so we can leave this place! “I’m like one of those overpowered Shounen protagonists, while you’re from a world that’s worse… and more real.”

“Well, as real as a world with magic and the divine is real, anyway.” I found myself agreeing with my alternate. Really, with him admitting that he’s not real, I found myself feeling bad about him. Seriously, what kind of life did he live, if he was forced to basically be undefeatable and powered by tits and comedy? That sort of thing sounded just silly. Silly enough to make me want to read it, but silly. “Well, hmmm, at least you have a harem, right? You have that going for you, and you do exist, especially since you’re meeting me, right?”

My younger, alternate self leveled a look at me that I was instantly able to understand.

No.

That didn’t comfort at him at all.

Thankfully, Li arrived before things got too awkward.

…

“So… I’m from a parallel world? Where you don’t exist?” I didn’t consider that Li couldn’t exist on another Earth. The thought boggled my mind. How were they supposed to survive Ouroboros, Chimera, and all the crazy stuff that we were dealing with? Wait, if he came from a parallel world, one without Chimera unlike both of Li Song’s alternates, did that mean he was from a different multiverse entirely? So, could he be an alternate alternate of myself? Augh, my brain hurts. “And, where everything is completely different?”

“You have neither the advanced technologies propagated by CORE, the Soviet Union, the Incursions, or my existence, so it is possible that is the case.” Li gestured towards his communicator, then his Chieftain counterpart, and the one they recovered from Lucifer!Song. The models were nearly identical, just like my own, while Hyoudou Junior had never seen one before. So, while he wasn’t my evil clone, he was definitely from some sort of backwards, strange reality without arcologies, even if the entire world was in humanity’s fingertips… and his reality would be without those arcologies for the years to come, too. “So, yes, that is my conclusion. There are similarities between your reality and our own, but the differences are stark and of an immense magnitude… so, you needn’t worry about being an “evil clone.””

Li raised an eyebrow at me at that, but all I could give him was a shrug, and a gesture to Lucifer!Song. That got him to sigh and shake his head, but he said nothing beyond that. Though he didn’t approve of my assumptions, he didn’t disapprove. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty much the same as a success.

It’s more a of bare pass. I think. Minimum objectives completed, but no secondary missions accomplished. Basically, you were barely adequate.

You talk like you did anything besides bully your other self.

Touché.

Anyway, there was elephant in the room that needed to be addressed.

“So, uhhh, how are we getting out of here? This place is pretty freaking massive, and there’s no exit sign.” No longer fearing being backstabbed by my alternate self, I was now free to evaluate my situation carefully and concisely. We were in an endless, white prison that we had no way of escaping. Yep, that’s about it. “Do you have a plan, Song? We don’t exactly have any supplies. Well, except for water, since we can make that with magic.”

Angels taste pretty good. So, you may consider eating Lucifer if you’re all desperate. He won’t mind. He’ll heal.

And, there’s my daily reminder that I’m a maximum security prison.

Oi, I eat only people who fight me and lose! Even if that’s most things, you can’ judge me for my culture!

And, I’m ignoring Ddraig for now.

“I am unsure. Lucifer had planned to carve his way through this world utilizing his Blade of the Morning, but, as you can see, it has broken.” Li, as always when speaking about swords, spoke about a particular cute individual of the opposite sex. This time, he didn’t have a bombshell, but instead a cute Imouto type of… Occisor. Who is clinging and hiding behind Li’s leg. Oh, wow. The cuteness is beyond description, to the point where the fact it comes from mistreatment is just flat out sad. “The Shard is powerful, but she is limited in many respects, so I do not know how we will be able to escape, even with her help.”

“Hmmm, it is an interesting conundrum, one which I might be have a solution to.” The Chieftain was a talky Song. One that wore Tuzi Chieftain clothes, despite not really measuring up to Song. Still, he was nervous enough for me to realize that he knew that too, and that if he got back to his world, there’ll be some changes over in that side. “We can establish ourselves in a location, perhaps by using Lucifer and his energy in a marker, and search this world thoroughly. It is possible that there are more individuals for us to find and work with, so that we can find more aid in our endeavor.”

It was a good plan, but talky, smarmy Song wasn’t my Li.

Li, when confronted with a difficult challenge, thought faster and quicker than everyone else. He acts first and talks later, taking everyone into perfect account, so that whatever he did, even without explanation, we’ll do what we need to do. There wasn’t any need for any smiles, questions, or fancy talk. Li just acted, letting everything fall into place according to his plans without a word, and the Preservers win and are unscathed.

Even if he gets terribly, terribly hurt in the process.

So, if there was anyone who’ll be making decisions around here, it’ll be Li.

“So, is that what we’re going to do, Li?” I resisted scratching my cheek, as my alternate self was doing. The two of us were in trouble, away from everyone else, and trapped, while we were needed elsewhere. I had to provide him with support. With everything I could, because I really couldn’t compare to everyone else who usually worked beside him. “You want us to stay put while you look around?”

Li was about to answer, and whatever his answer was, I was set on following him.