AGG: HSS: Xenovia 2

AGG: HSS: Xenovia 2

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Commissioned by Wirdo

Word Count: 1647

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According to my teachers, skirts are a mistake. Those of goodly length restrain one’s ability to move. Those that are unrestricting incite temptation.  Even the middling cut, during the most extreme of maneuvers, makes harlots of warriors. While one can presumably learn to fight wearing a skirt, it is unadvised, as one could simply fight better whilst wearing more proper combat attire.

But, I have gained great insight!

Spats!

Or, in English terminology, compression shorts!

I presented my innovation to Li Song!

Or, I’d intended to, until my training partner had thrown me into the training center wall.

“You will do no such thing.” Shirone was a Sage of the Beast Tribes. Some of the Church would say she’s a priest of heathens, but others would state that she’s merely an intermediary between nature and people, as quite a few humans have achieved the same title. It is theorized that those who studying God’s Light could theoretically utilize the Sage Arts themselves, but both normally take a lifetime’s devotion. Naturally, given my disposition to battle, I was learning the Sage Arts at a steady pace. Though, I could not hope to face Shirone on even ground while doing so. “I have claimed the tomboy category. Being appealing in spats is under my purview. You shall not utilize that form of attack.”

It took me a moment to realize what Shirone was implying. Ah, of course. Due to the skin-tight nature of spats, it held a measure of appeal to the naked eye, despite being covered. It fell under the notion of “lewder than being naked.” I’d been so happy with my discovery that I’d ignored a one of its potential benefits! Not only would my act of revealing my insight be a sign of my intelligence, but it would also entice Li Song! My hidden genius shocks even myself!

Therefore, even if Shirone did lay claim to her specific path of attack, I had to capitalize on my findings!

In battle, one had to take every advantage they were capable of!

Lifting my skirt to reveal my spats to Li Song would hallmark both my intelligence and blessed body!

Thus, I could not allow Shirone to bar my way.

I called upon Durandal without hesitation and summoned God’s Blessings to empower me. The surge of power that I felt told me that my path was righteous. My discovery and intent to relay my discovery to Li Song was supported by God.

“Your intent is commendable. But, I will not allow you to infringe upon my territory.” Shirone, of course, had to attack. Our appeal was very similar. We were both incredible warriors, gifted with good bodies, and with the talent to bring our earthly forms to grand heights without losing our womanly appeal. That much was apparent here and now, as we face each other in scant, cooling, and tight sportswear in the training room. Indeed, I would be disappointed in her if she did not utilize the insight I shared with her to her own advantage. “I will beat the notion of using that tactic out of your head.”

She may try!

…

Ah, it hurts! It hurts!

“You were smashed through a wall meant to be invincible. It is to be expected.” Li Song’s hands are soothing as they drift over my back. Any other time, I’d put efforts towards regaling him with my ravishing form, however my immense number of bruises and micro-fractures halt me from doing so. I can only lie face down upon the infirmary bed and do my utmost to not be uncouth in my defeat. “Well, I just hope that whatever altercation the two of you had is resolved.”

“The match ended in a draw. So, it is not.” Shirone answered in my stead. Why? Because speaking was difficult when one’s face is firmly pressed against a pillow. It was a therapeutic pillow meant to make sure that the bruises on my face would fade quickly. It did not work well enough. I wished Argento was present. With the grace god hath given him, he’d be able to heal me with ease. “It is still in contention who is the impressive, flagrant tomboy. We will fight until one of us is victorious.”

I raised my sword-hand up in approval of the notion.  That was all I could do, besides muffle through my depressingly-incapable pillow.  Once, I’d believed the Church correct in stating that the greater miracles of healing should be used sparingly and by those trusted by the Church. Now, I wished to speak to a few Cardinals, and perhaps the Pope, and convince them to share the greater secrets to the masses. This pillow ought to have healed my face already!

“Does that truly matter?” Song’s words were endearing. He truly saw us both as appealing in both our personalities and figures. However, both genteel mannerisms and massive appeal did not make his implication correct. Both Shirone and myself were toned, lithe, and womanly warriors who can respectively be presented proudly by the organization, whether that be the Church or a tribe, as a powerful weapon and wife. Therefore, it is only natural that we seek advantages over one another. We are too similar. I did my best to articulate this through gestures and muffled noises. “Well, the two of you seem to hold no enmity towards one another… so, I only ask that the two of you limit the damage of your altercations. Perhaps, the two of you can consider competing over who kills the most Chimera?”

“That is an acceptable compromise.” Shirone was correct. The suggestion was ingenious.  Not only would our issue regarding who holds right over the Tomboy Approach be addressed, but it would do so in a manner that solved another problem. Truly, I am in awe of my future husband’s tactical insight. Without a doubt, our children will be very intelligent and strong. I will ensure the latter and send them to proper schooling to ensure the former. Unless they are dumb, then I will merely make sure they are strong, so not being smart is not an issue. I am already the best mother. “Now, I believe it is my turn to be nursed back to health. Please, Li Song, wear that doctor’s coat over there.”

“…Okay?”

Reverse Nurse Play!? Or, to be exact, Doctor and Patient Play!? And, I was unable to see it!? What sort of cruel punishment is this, my Lord? What sin have commited in this life that has robbed me of my sight at this critical point in time?

“Ah, warm hands.”

“Thank you.”

Is Li Song wearing only a doctor’s coat and a stethoscope? Did he take off his shirt and wore only his pants with the coat? I needed to know! It was likely that that he simply donned the coat, but that itself was a sight that would be wondrous to behold! He may not be medically licensed, but his looks are licensed to kill!

“Hmmm, you know just where to touch.”

“…I studied injury identification to perform proper triage, yes.”

Why, oh lord, do you not allow me to witness this sight? Please, tell me, so that I might seek out penance for my sins! If I have committed such a damning act to endure Hell in this mortal realm, then I must atone lest my soul be given the most terrible punishments the most infernal of realms has to offer!

“Over already?

“…Yeeees.”

“I see.”

Please, lord, answer me! What have I done to suffer so? I know that you are righteous and just!

“Well, Shirone, it seems that you’re healing quite rapidly. Just like Quarta. You will be healed within an hour or so.”

“I request a second, more thorough evaluation. I ache inside. Perhaps, I should divest my clothes for a more proper inspection—”

“…”

I am unable to move and can only scream into my pillow.

…

I glared at my rival, as she idly consumed her meal. Both of us were tended to by Homunculi now, with our lunches being presented to us in the infirmary. Despite our enforced isolation until late afternoon, her calm, placid face carried an aura of smug satisfaction that befit her sharpish, feline features quite well.

“Something to say, Saint?”

Only that she was taking an advantage that she didn’t require, given her technique in seduction.

“I do not seduce. I bulldoze past propriety. There is a difference.”

A marginal difference.

“A margin separates winners from losers.”

I grudgingly agreed. Indeed, in battle and in life, that was the case. In this battlefield we found ourselves upon, we were too similar to rely upon our strengths against one another. Therefore, we could only seek advantages over one another, while we jockeyed for more opportune positioning in our areas of advantage.

My brazen approach countered her continuous presence in his vicinity.

Our bodies were similar in tone, but while she held the advantage with a firm foundation in the midlands, I held the high ground steadfastly and admirably.

While we could both approach Li Song with upfront interest and avoid the pitfalls of requiring charm, there remained the one approach where we could exude some charm.

The joyous tomboy route—

With a pop, Dimension Lost appeared in our infirmary.

“I heard what you guys fought about. I’m here to tell you that you both shouldn’t try, because the Concept of Heroism is literally tomboy incarnate. The both of you are both just better off being aloof, available, and sexy eye candy. And, now I go. Auf wiedersehen, meatheads.”

Dimension Lost then disappeared once more, presumably to ogle Boosted Gear, leaving both Shirone and myself to our own devices.

Our eyes met.

“Truce?” I inquired.

“Truce.” Shirone verified.

Thus, it shall be, until we found another advantageous approach to fight over.

What a good friend I had.