Wrecking the Database 3 (Log Horizon/Oreigaru)

Wrecking the Database 3 (Log Horizon/Oreigaru)

…

Commissioned by: Blue Flaming Wings

Wordcount: 2620

…

Traveling with a group naturally took longer for Zaimokuza. Alone, she could use her mount, and bypass multiple areas. However, with the number of individuals with him and the fact that the low-levelled scrubs would get taken advantage of if he made multiple trips, he had to travel slowly. Komachi relayed to me what everyone else was thinking, while I did my best to prolong adding people to my friends list as long as possible. As soon as we actually needed to work together, and they needed me for more than basic information they can get from Zaimokuza, I’d give them my contact details. Until then, while they’re only useless meatbags who require training, I intended to keep my friends list pure and unsullied by noobs.

So, as Komachi was resting and regaining her action points, since normies needed to rest from grinding, I was going through town. 

Naturally, the NPCs kowtowed to me. Why wouldn’t they? Technically, hundreds of years passed since the start of the game in real life, and I’ve been living within the town since I managed to scrounge up money for my domicile. It was frontier town, with only a few farming quests that didn’t drop much, that never had special events since it was in the corner of the map, nestled in the mountains, and covered in snow to make sure that the devs in the early days didn’t have to spend much time making it detailed.

In short, it existed as a town to pad out the numbers, and it had a grand total of 1 Main Quest attached to it.

A player can come here literally once and never return.

I’m sure it didn’t even have a name.

Still, since the Catastrophe, NPCs gained their status as living beings... or, technically, we gained status as more than mobile threat suppression devices. It was a strange concept, but one that I approved of. It was original. Snappy. We were part of the world, but not truly part of it, until the Transfer/Catastrophe. At the very least, that’s what I gleaned from my interactions with the NPCs-turned-people so far. But, I digress. The town’s become more lively since the catastrophe. People mill about, have schedules, and go out of their way to do the things a normal town does. Technically speaking, it was a mining town, thus there were a lot of miners, their supporters, and their families around all the time.

In short, my precious, abandoned location has become rather crowded.

Right when I became I living legend.

Now, if I were a modest man (lol), I’d tell you that I didn’t like all the attention. But, seriously, what kind of an otaku wouldn’t like to have praises sung about them wherever they went? Who wouldn’t like to hear some old man coming up and shaking your hand, telling you that you saved his life, because you’d kept culling all the monsters? How could one not smile like a goofball when praised excessively and offered free stuff? Naturally, I pushed aside the gifts and purchased what I wanted since I didn’t want any obligations, but even my Hikki Shield, one of by 108 Hikki Skills, couldn’t withstand a whole town’s praise and adoration. 

In short, Komachi and the others were really making my life very complicated, by making sure I’m a decent, hardworking person instead of simply enjoying my new existence.

Yet, here I am, simply nodding and exchanging pleasantries instead of actually diving headfirst into a glorious, perhaps hedonistic, lifestyle that would make most nerds cry tears of blood. 

Truly, I am the best brother/friend a person can ask for.

…

Getting quests was more difficult than before. The NPCs lacked the same UI as Komachi, Zaimokuza, and all the other PCs did. They also didn’t have the ability to respawn after dying, get new skills, or do anything special unless they were gifted with magic i.e. important. They were just present as filler before the Transfer, people manning empty homes and tilling fields that always looked the same, but that was different now. Everything required to live now existed, as though it always had, and many convenient features were now gone.

It was pretty cool that my original purchase receipt, held by the town, is framed up and on the mantle of the mayor’s fireplace, though.

Anyway, Quests still existed. Monsters still appeared. Gold and drops still came from them. While I had little need for money, I did need connections. NPCs were everywhere now. Traveling, trading, and hearing whispers. While I could certainly do information gathering on my own, no matter how amazing and awesome and epic I am, I am still merely one man. Until I could find a way to self-replicate and become a hive-mind that encapsulates the world, forcing it to be less irritating and more pleasant, that will remain the case. So, in the interest of not working any harder than I had to, I intended set up an information network in an already-existing information network… that didn’t know it was an information network. 

Essentially, I was going to scam the NPCs before they got smarter than I was and what lead I had disappeared. 

It was going okay.

“Ah, Hikigaya-sama, how pleasant it is to see you again!” The mayor of the town was a generic old man. However, he wasn’t the same generic old man I was used to seeing. Instead, he was the great-great-great-great-[…]-grandson of that man. The family resemblance was very clear, however. Though, this man was slightly more built, instead of pudgy. The gray hair, wrinkles, and large nose were there, but he had arms expected of a mining-family, who had their children become well versed in physical labor. It was nice to see that oversights by sleepy, overworked game devs was corrected during the Transfer. Thanks, Kami-sama, for being so thoughtful and kind to those who languish in the depths of corporations for the sake of public entertainment. “Forgive my impoliteness, but I have something for you! It’s very important!”

Why, good sir, you may be impolite all you want to me if you’re giving me a present—

What’s this!? This isn’t a present! This is a letter! You want me to READ!? After I walked all the way here to talk to you? Do you know how difficult it is for a loner such as myself to muster up the willpower to walk somewhere and talk to someone about goods and services? And, after I did all of that, you expect me to read something instead of giving me presents? Did you forget that you only exist because of me? I supported this game with my wage-slave salary since month 1! My login streak is unbroken, since the system was implemented! I saved this town a thousand times over! I am this town’s living legend—

Oh, it’s letter from Duke Corwen.

The Duke.

Whose name is Corwen.

He gave out that one quest that one time.

Neat.

I wondered if I saved his great-great-how-many-times-over-grandfather too.

“I’ll put aside my business for this, then.” I suppose, I’ve done enough quests for this down to pump up my renown. Or, rather, if Zaimokuza’s words about most people staying in Akihabara and the other towns, I might be one of the few Adventurers who’s kept up taking quests. Considering my lengthy amount of time spent in this town, and how devastating it would be for a whole country’s anti-monster force to suddenly stop fighting, I suppose it’d be only natural that’d I’d be spoken of. I am pretty great, after all. “Unless, there’s something this town needs?”

Cultivating relationships in the place where I lived is a must. At the very least, one should do their best to be an unknown, a faceless individual amongst faceless individuals, but here and now I had a reputation to keep up. And, keeping it up meant grinding monsters for drops. It was simply more efficient for me to maintain my relationship, by taking quests as I had for generations, instead of just doing it for free. I get money and fame for my time with a little more effort, so why would I not?

It wouldn’t be efficient and in MMORPGS efficiency was key!

“Ah, no. There’s no need Hikigaya-sama. The monsters you’ve slain have yet to return, and your efforts to train our militia are bearing fruit, especially with your choice to grant us all the Drops!” Mayor-san beamed. I didn’t have any helpful screens to give me the information I wanted, but that was just fine. Loners like myself saw real life as grinding, challenge events, and paywalls that we could never break anyway. I was more than able to interpret his smiling face as a man happy with the fact he had a superhuman protecting his town, while the rest of the region destabilized.  “Please, attend to the Duke’s letter, do what you must, and return to us as speedily as possible! I’m sure that with your mystical mount, you can answer his summons quite swiftly! Perhaps, before you companions arrive and the festival begins!”

True, true. I did indeed have a mount that can get me to places relatively quickly and a job done fast and is for the best—

Wait.

“Festival?” An event? In my sleepy, middle-of-nowhere town? Since when the fuck did that happen—

“Ah, the town council all agreed that we ought to prepare something for your coming companions.” No. Please, no. Don’t let this happen. I know that you love me, but making people coming to stay with me comfortable is my job. Why? Because, that’s less embarrassing than having anyone else do it. I am a grown man. Having anyone, even my parents or little sister, set up a party for people I knew was a grievous blow to my pride. I had to find a way to say no. Oh, wait. 

“No. There is no need. Prepare yourselves for the coming seasons, instead.” I call upon you, gruff, mysterious legend archetype! Don’t fail me now! Impart my legend gained from thousands of hours spent grinding and avoiding other players! Make it so that this upcoming travesty doesn’t occur. Save me from the embarrassment of having my popularity revealed this real people who I’ll have to live with every day. It’s fine for me to be popular amongst the nameless masses, but I’d rather die than have it revealed to the likes of Yukinoshita! I can see her face now, peering at me with her soulless, icy stare, telling me everything without saying anything.  Augh, I think I’m getting an ulcer. As expected of Yukinoshita, just thinking about her damages me on the spiritual level. “But, I appreciate your efforts.”

With that, before Mayor-san could engage with me in dialogue, where my skills are exceedingly low, I retreated without another word.

Hachiman-san knows when to retreat when the situation is unfavorable.

And, this certainly was!

…

“We’re leaving.”

“Eh!? You want to do something besides nothing!? Who are you and what have you done with my gomi-chan!?”

“We’ll be back before Zaimokuza gets here. I just have to deal with a new issue.” The message confirmed everything I already knew, especially after Zaimokuza relayed to me what was happening in Akihabara. Being one of, if not the only, Adventurer who kept doing what he was supposed to be doing in the region, I became more important than I’d intended to be. Thus, the Duke of the region was calling upon me to meet with him, and perhaps explain what has occurred to the rest of the Adventurers. The NPCs, after all, lived for generations upon generations relying upon the monster-killing force that was the murderhobo population of Elder Tale. Now that that was gone, along with the system that let Adventurers interact with NPCs via an interface, and with most Adventurers been anti-social otaku, the whole system has dissolved. “If we don’t do anything, we might see a war between the NPCs and everyone who has come over. We need to nip that in the bud.”

“Hmmm… I’m not convinced that you’re not my brother, but you’re using funny terms but trying to sound cool at the same time, so I guess you’re close enough.” What? I’m not trying to sound cool. Get your ears cleaned out. I’m talking normally. Alright, I’ll admit it. I let some of my NPC voice leak through. Sorry, that’ll never happen again, my beloved little sister who I love very much. Never say those words to me again, please. My HP went down to 1 when I heard it. “So, are we going to save the world now, onii-chan? Will Komachi-chan and Hachiman-kun finally start their quest to right wrongs and eradicate evil in the name of justice.”  

“Precure would be to OP for this setting, so no. We’re just going to tend to a problem while everyone else is running around like idiots.” If this was Precure, or a magical girl setting, I suppose I’d either be the older brother of the protagonist, because Komachi has to be the protagonist, or the familiar who turns human in the last few episodes. What kind of familiar would a be? Hmmm… maybe a crow? That’d be pretty cool, as long as I remembered to not kill my best friend or start sending people into nightmare realms. “Remember what I told you about how this game worked? About how Adventurers can fight off monsters no problem because we’re immortal? Well, the NPCs aren’t, and now no one’s fighting monsters.”

“Ah, that’s super bad! Like, really bad! Final season, all-in, and the world at stake bad!” I nodded to my sisters words while I called for my hippogriff. My steed arrived from the skies. Thankfully, while now alive, it was still docile. However, given the fact it was the size of a small apartment, I made sure to give it some food. For a moment it looked perplexed, but it gobbled down the rump off beef with a trill after a moment. One can never be sure about someone’s loyalty, especially if they said loyalty was linked to a magical object. I’d hate to be in my mount’s place, so I had every intention of keeping him happy. “Wait, how are we going to do anything about it? Onii-chan, we’re not superheroes or protagonists! I’m not even fully levelled up! Where’s our last minute power up!?” 

I helped her onto the back of the saddle. We drew quite a crowd, and my hippogriff did a little theatrics to impress the NPCs, before taking flight. Thankfully, the ride was very smooth and swift, the exact opposite of what one would expect of a giant monster flying through the air. 

“The plan is to not need last minute power ups, friendship, or anything else like that.” I imparted life-lessons upon my sister once I got the hang of driving my mount. It was easy, though I suspected it wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t fed him. Anyway, driving was easy enough for me to my most important lecture to my sister in this dangerous new world, where I didn’t intend for her to die a single time. “We need to stop problems from becoming problems. That’s the best thing we can do here and now.”

“You’re way too productive and proactive to be my Onii-chan! Who are you and what’ve you done to my Gomi-chan!? Tell me this instant, kidnapper!”

“Dammit, Komachi, I’m still me!”

“No you’re not! My Onii-chan would never work hard for another person!”

“That hurts, you know!?”

Seriously, getting her used to pain is terrible enough.

Letting her die?

Not acceptable.