Interlude: The Lost

 Interlude: The Lost

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Commissioned by Chaosbrain

Wordcount: 1036

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Fear has never once held me, yet now I find myself cautious, unsure, and on the precipice of falling into terror.

“Sheridan, the visions grow stronger whenever I return here.” Sheridan is here, as he always is when I return. Though the times have changed, though our circumstances are no longer the same, he is always the one who I see first and last upon returning to the place that I call home. He looks the same as when I’d first met him, but in his eyes there is a tiredness and apprehension that he shares only with those who is close to. I worry for him, but I must tell him the truth. “I cannot remain for long.”

Something has been done to force me to leave this place. Whoever has acted against me cannot be found, but what they have done has scarred me. I see visions of trillions and trillions dying again and again across countless worlds whenever I return to the place I call home in the vast expanse of Reality. They are mighty, inevitable visions which leave me incapable of responding, a mere statue, for hours upon hours. So, though I am needed due to the coming of both new and old Aspects, I cannot stay.

“We’ve made some headway, and received a few clues, but we haven’t made much progress. I apologize, Erica.” The words are filled with well-meaning intent, but he doesn’t hide his tiredness from saying the mere fact that he knew no way to help me. He does not say that he wishes he could do more to alleviate me of my current weakness, so that I might act for CORE once more,  but his gaze tells me everything. Sheridan wishes he could have me stay, so that I won’t be alone out there, but he cannot. “We’ll look into new avenues, I promise. We… we just need to find new places to look.”

“Okay.” I didn’t want to be cast out from my home forever. This place, here and now, was where I belonged. Though I went out to strike against the Chimera, I no longer called the whole of reality where I am meant to be. There is more here for me than anywhere else, yet now there stands the chance that I’ll never be able to stay again. I lie to Sheridan by merely smiling and nodding and accepting his words, because the weight of the world is already upon his shoulders, and knowing I am about to feel the fear for the first time would only increase his burden. “Thank you, Sheridan.”

An unfamiliar silence arises between the two of us. A silence that he or I’d normally fill with chatter, whether it be of current events or other such things, but we both know that I cannot stay.

I bid him goodbye and leave him.

I have only been at home for an hour for nearly a quarter of a year… and that might be the case forever.

I do my best to walk onward, to find a new outcropping of Chimera, before the terror of being alone again takes me.

…

“So, what’s got you all fucked up?” Great Red arrives without fanfare, as he could whenever he wished to. I am not startled by his action, but my focus is slightly offset. I put too much power into my blow and scatter the oncoming horde instead of destroying it completely. “See? The new quiet, little turd I know wouldn’t fuck up like that. Are you regressing back to the old, quiet little turd? Because, I’d like a heads up if you are. I bet you’ll fuck up the courses I’ve been setting up in the Gap.”

“You are not we—” My own words die in my throat, as I find myself looking upon another person, something that I did not expect for another series of months. Talking was preferable to silence, though Great Red was someone I could barely stand. I steadied myself, made sure that none of my errant desires were showing, and spoke to him. “What are you doing here, Great Red?”

To my surprise, the lackadaisical, irreverent air he normally kept faded away in an instant. His gaze sharpened and he looked upon me with unfamiliar scrutiny.

“Spill it.” Instead of boisterous, loud words, he spoke simple and seriously. My shock gave way to trepidation, as I realized that he saw through my façade with ease. Years and years of continuous conflict with one another would naturally allow him to tell if I felt even the slightest bit astray. “What the hell has happened to you, Ophis?”

I briefly debated saying nothing, but the truth spilled forth from my mouth in an instant.

“I am lonely and I cannot return to my home.” I did not know why the words slipping forth from my mouth with such utter ease, but they did. My shock was mirrored upon my Illusion’s face, with his eyes widening and jaw dropping, but he did not feel as I felt. That little slip gave way to a cascade that sent me running towards my opposite and gripping his lapel. The next series of words that left my mouth were beyond my control, as though I couldn’t tell myself what to do, and could only bear witness to my own actions. “Please, help me!”

Once, Great Red had seen fit to oust me from my home, yet now I went to him to ensure that I did not lose my new one. I did not know why I trusted him so, but I did and I spoke as he listened. I told him of my nightmares, the continuous dying that I saw whenever I returned home, and every face and scream and terror that I saw was different from the last. They were not dreams. I’ve never known a dream in the entirety of my existence. They were visions of something that was, is, and will be all the same time.

An infinite scream emanating from something that completely and utterly terrified me.

I did not know what it was.

Nor did Illusion.

But, I hoped that he could help me.

Someway and somehow.