Tuzi Culture and History 102

Tuzi Culture and History 102

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Commissioned by Althero

Wordcount: 1100

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What? Why are you all still here? I told you all everything you need to know. Are you all implying that I’m not doing a good enough job? That my teachings are unsatisfactory? Well, you’re probably right. Here, take this form. Write a complaint. All you of should write complaints. Then, you should take it to Creighton. Straight to Creighton. Forget HR, upper management, and anyone else. They’re afraid of me. Fill these out, go to Creighton, and talk her ear off about how I’m a terrible person. She’ll believe you, and she’ll be able to act. Then, you all get a better teacher, while I never have to see your faces again. Everyone wins.

...Oh, huh.

That’s actually a good question.

What a nerd you are. Do you have no life outside CORE or something? Seriously, you should get a hobby. There’s more to life than learning about Li Song’s past, y’know? Why don’t you try to be the protagonist of your own life, instead of being some meaningless cog in the machine? Shouldn’t you at least try to be more of a person, instead of a faceless mook? What? No. I’m not more of a nerd than you, because I can make all those references. Shut up. Do you have a death wish? Do you know who I am? No. I’m not hiding behind the fact that I can kill you all. That’s a fact. I can kill you all. I don’t need to hide behind it.

…Dammit, fine.

I’ll answer your stupid question.

Yeah, I said it was a good question earlier, but I’m not referring to the question. I’m calling you stupid.

Ergo, even if your question is good, it’s still stupid, because you asked it.

I don’t care how if that’s not how language works. I’m a reincarnated god. I do what I want.

Whatever.

Nerd.

The Tuzi were a migratory people, but they did have specific sites that they view as sacred. It shouldn’t surprise you that these sites are sacred because the Tuzi managed to kill something really bad, really well. This involved a few Devils, some Fallen, and more than a few Vampires. Sometimes, they encounter a few wyverns causing trouble, then they wipe out the whole nest. Replace the word “wyvern” with any mythological creature you can think about, and they probably did the same to every other monster that comes up in your mind.

That’s right.

Not only were they crazy about making freaking magically ‘roided up martial artists, but they went around looking for trouble. All the time. If you look at the details of their migratory patterns, you’ll see that they visit mountain ranges, warzones, and other places where monsters could roam freely, because there weren’t enough bodies from regular folk in the area to tear them apart.  None of that’s particularly special. Loads of people did the same back then… but, if you combine that with their belief system? That pseudo-faith system they hacked together? Well, you have something really special.

Wherever they went, they made sure to make it known what they did. They didn’t shy away from praise or acclaim. Being heroes is their thing, and they happen to be very, very strict about how a hero should act. But, how they policed each other isn’t what’s important, it’s how they stole faith wherever they went.

People believed in the Tuzi. Sure, a few of the more faithful tried to stop everyone, but if you’re living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, and some stranger drops a monster the size of your mud hut in the middle of the town, the common idiot you’ll be will tend to believe whatever comes out the stranger’s mouth. Sure, some jerks will tell you that you’re not following your beliefs, but all you’ll have to do is point at the carcass of whatever monster’s been plaguing your village, and ask why their god didn’t kill something that was terrorizing your village for years?

Yes, nerd.

That did piss off a lot of gods.

Care to guess where most of the Chinese Pantheon is?

Look, I’m not stating Tuzi’s superiority over gods, I’m stating the fucking obvious.

Did they go out of their way to kill monsters and save towns that were worshipping gods? Maybe. Could they have be held liable for a few famines, plagues, and natural disasters that a god could’ve stopped, if they weren’t dead? Sure. Would you like to talk to them about being fine living under a yoke in exchange for safety? Well? Would you? I’d like to hear any argument anyone would make to validate THAT to Li Song.

He’s a nice guy, but there’s some things he won’t stand for.

Sure, if you’re a benevolent god that just uses faith to help out humans, you’ll probably get along with him fine. Fuck, look at me. I’m a reincarnated god, and all I do is look out for myself, and not fuck with humans. Guess what? I’m perfectly fine. It’s when people try the old ‘this is better for them’ spiel that’ll get him to show up, Occisor in hand, and a very, very strongly worded speech in the back of his head. He’ll give you the chance to back down, but if you don’t? Well, you’re going to be enjoying dying for a while, before you find yourself reincarnated into a girl that wants his dick literally everywhere on and in her body.

It’s funny because it’s true.

What was that, you four-eyed mouth-breather? Did you have another stupid question for me? You do understand that I don’t want to be here, right? And, that I can make it so none of you will want to be here either? Get it? Do you really?

Alright.

If you know all of that, then you’re free to ask me another stupid question.

…Pfft.

Pahaha…

AHAHAAHHAAA!

Seriously? You think that Li Song needs to be protected against seduction!? That’s fucking hilarious.

Look.

You don’t seem to understand.

Li Song happens to be the rare sort of man who thinks with his heart, instead of his dick. I’m sure that if you, the plain jane that you are, cleaned up, talked to him, and spent time with him, you’ll find you have as much of a chance as any of the other girls Li Song knows.

Chances are that anyone who tries to seduce him will get sat down, told that they should respect themselves, and probably get counter seduced.

Or, you know, they’ll get torn apart by all the ladies looking to get in his pants.

Why don’t you give it a fucking shot and find out? Hmm?.