Laziest Sorcerer Omake: Katai’s Catastrophe

Laziest Sorcerer Omake: Katai’s Catastrophe

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Commissioned by: Gopher54

Wordcount: 1128

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New School: Check.

New Neighborhood: Check.

New Look: Check.

Number of friends: still zero.

Dammit. 

Making friends is damn hard.

Sis and Ma wanted to look after me, especially since they knew how monstergirls got. They were the possessive and protective types, meanin’ they took care of their own as much as possible. Ma had Dad, and Sis had little bro, but they still took the time to make sure I could hold my own.

I appreciated it, but dammit I hold my own too damn well!

“Hey, what are you looking at!?” Be aggressive! Be strong! Scare away the scary girls! That’s what Ma and Sis taught me to do. But, turning it off ain’t easy! It didn’t help that most dudes have been trained to run away! “Dammit, tell me what’s wrong! Don’t just run away!”

First day of school, and I’ve had ten dudes run away. 

My chances of getting pals were dwindlin’ by the minute.

By tomorrow, I’ll be probably be eating and fightin’ off stalkers alone again!

Dammit, guys are supposed to stick together, watch each other’s backs, and do shit that freakin’ girls aren’t allowed to! A man’s got to have man time, but a dude can’t really appreciate spending time like a dude should, if they’re freaking alone all the time! I want to play baseball, bowl, and freaking go to the arcade with a bunch of pals! Doing all that shit alone is just depressing! 

Yet, here I am, freaking being avoided by everyone in my new school. 

Again.

Dammit.

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Rooftop’s aren’t the best place to eat lunch. That had to be over in the courtyard, with a bunch of pals, and a good conversation to go along with the food. Yeah, definitely, that’d be the best sort of lunch a guy can have. 

But, the rooftop door was easy to board up, and on the water tower, you can keep watch for any harpies and the like. Defensible, advantageous, and it’s easy to send a monstergirl down a ladder. They’re plenty tough, after all. A guy with as little magic as me, just enough to make my hits a litte oomph, meant I needed to be careful. 

Dragons and other big shots, I needed to avoid, but I could take on anything less thanks to Ma and Sis beating my training into me.

But, the roof’s shit for making friends! I mean, I get it. It’s against the rules, and the courtyard’s where everyone else is, but can’t another dude come up here sometime? There’s gotta be some guy who thinks the same as me, right? I mean, I’m not sayin’ I’m the smarting guy around, but this is definitely the safest spot to be during lunch.

I want to go down there into the courtyard, or maybe eat in the classroom, but monstergirls poach dudes who aren’t in groups. They gang up on them. I can fight my way out of a few scrapples, before a teacher comes in to help, but what about after school? Or, after a few attacks at once? Eating alone in the courtyard and classroom’s a one way street to get pinned down and married by some monstergal who’s forgotten to fuck herself silly in the morning. 

Seriously, I can’t win!

Either I’m safe, but can’t make friends.

Or, I try to make friends, and get taken advantage of if I fail! And, I’ve failed in making friends loads of times!

Augh, this sucks—

“Hey, you! Quit hiding before I come down there and thrash ya!” Yeah, you! That one hiding in the shadows right there! You think you can sneak up on me, huh!? Well, you’ve got another thing coming! Ma didn’t raise a boy who’ll go down to tricks like that! “Look me in the eye, and you might get out of this without getting hurt!”

I expected some sleezebag, but surprisingly the person that came out was head of Disciplinary Committee. 

Monstergirls usually don’t get picked for things that need responsibility when they’re in their teens, so Ma always told me to respect gals who got into good, honest positions.

So, I sorta felt like a jerk when the Cat Beast came out of the shadows all twitchy and the like, ears pointed towards me and tail wrapped around her waist. Her claws weren’t out, but she was just about ready to fight.

I didn’t know her name, so she’s going the be Braids and Glasses Discipline Committee Girl.

Sis always told me to not pay too much attention about gals being monsters, if they’re decent.

“Ah, you’re just here to get be off the roof, ain’t ya? Well, I don’t want to. So, you should just scram.” A guy’s gotta respect the law of the land, but if the law of the land’s too dangerous, a man’s gotta stand his ground. And, I intended to stand… er… sit my ground for my safety. Getting off the roof was a one-way ticket to a fight I couldn’t win, so I wasn’t going down there. “I ain’t gonna hit ya for just doing your job, but there’s going to be trouble if you annoy me, or try to get me down from here.”

“N-no!” Huh, well that’s a first. Braids and Glasses said no. Usually speakin’ most monsters scamper after that. But, apparently, not this one. That was great. Really great. It meant she was more than just something that could be scared off. Her knees were knocking, and she was tremblin’, but she was standing her ground for something, instead of just running away like her instincts told her to. That scored her some serious cred with me! “T-this area is off limits to everyone! It’s not safe up h-here! So, you’re not a-allowed to be here, no matter who you are!”

“That’s a stupid rule, especially for me! I’m a transfer, so I don’t got a group to hang out with!” Not that I ever did, but that’s embarrassing to say. Heck, jut that’s embarrassing to say, but I hoped this gal was reasonable and understandin’. Adhering to the rules AND reasonable? Well, jeez, I might just have a chance to get a friend, even they’re not a dude! “Make the school safer for guys like me, and I’ll come down and eat with everyone else, lady!”

I waited for an answer.

Just waited.

I didn’t squirm or nothing!

But, I did smile when I got the best answer.

“F-fine, then! If I make this school safe for you loners to walk around, then you b-better come eat lunch with everyone else!”

Heck, she didn’t even make it weird by saying “having lunch with me!”

Jeez, Ma, your kid might actually get a pal or two after all!