Wrecking the Database 7 (Log Horizon/Oreigaru)

Wrecking the Database 7 (Log Horizon/Oreigaru)

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Commissioned by: Weise

Wordcount: 2535

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Powerlevelling solves only a few problems. Elder Tales has a great system that lets higher level individuals cap their levels, so that lower-levelled players can be mentored with XP losses, but that only goes so far. While it can train individuals the basics, it can’t teach them the strategies, tactics, and needs in raids. Then, of course, there’s reaction times, habits, and mentalities that people need to have in the middle of a raid.

I’m sure that anyone normal looking at me and Zaimokuza steadily chip away at the massive boulder crab down will be able to appreciate/fear what I’m talking about.

MMO characters are just plain fucking freaky. The tactics they use literally involve them performing the same maneuvers, tactics, and coordinated actions in the middle of a battle against a monster several times their size. While others would feel fear, shit themselves, and othersuch things, an MMO character shows no fear, doesn’t stop acting even when receiving damage, and heals from injuries that bring them to the brink of death within batting an eyelash.

One and all, every Adventurer is a freak of nature compared to anyone and anything that lives a normal, regular life, and that’s ignoring the fact that Adventurers can respawn, if only back at their initial spawn point, unless a checkpoint for a quest has been established. 

Also, I was going to experiment with that. I can have quests now. So, what if I leave whilst having a quest active by “accident?” 

Will I respawn where the quest was given to me, a checkpoint/loading screen before entering the area, or back in the Temple?

However, that’s getting off track.

Komachi and the others needed to gain the same mindset as myself and Zaimokuza, however they had to do so when they can feel pain, aren’t allowed to die, and don’t have a single talent that they can use to their advantage. While Zaimokuza and I can certainly mentor them during farming and smaller quests, there’s no way that we can do the same to a small Raid like the one we were doing now. As grand and capable as I was, and how tanky my build was, having less mana and health will definitely get me killed. I need a certain threshold and I don’t reach that threshold when at a low level. 

In short, everyone needed to learn by doing a Raid or two, but they wouldn’t have maximum gains unless Zaimokuza and I took a temporary hit to our levels, and doing that would put an immense risk on our operation, which could lead to a total party wipe.

Our situation was essentially so shitty it made my head hurt to think about.

In fact, the situation was so shitty that I didn’t even notice finally killing the boss until Zaimokuza struck a pose and yelled about achieving a great victory.

Huh, I’ll let that pass.

Having a voice like Aoi Yuuki gets you a lot of passes.

Hmmm… 

Nevermind, it’s annoying when I hear it too many times in a row.

Zaimokuza is definitely still annoying.

…

Honestly, the haul was absolutely disappointing on the drop standpoint, but it paid out well enough for the time we spent. 

“Woah, look upon this treasury of gold and jewels, Hachiman! We’re rich! Absolutely rich!” Zaimokuza, naturally, was rushing around in her Magical Girl Swashbuckling outfit with a greed filled gaze. Technically, it was in character, but despite the voice and the actions, I couldn’t help but see Zaimokuza’s True Self ™ hovering over the petite, feminine woman drooling over the money. Just imagining it made me sick. “We won’t have to worry about money ever, just by farming an easy, hour-long quest!”

“If it were just the two of us that’d be true.” I extinguished the flame of excitement that was over Zaimokuza and began accessing the gold. As per usual, I emptied my inventory of non-essentials when going out to farm and explore, therefore, after my character’s limit of currency was finished, it was easy enough to get stacks of it within my inventory. Taking half of the treasure filled up a quarter of my inventory. Again, good for two players in an hour, but for the number we had? “This is terrible for our full party.”

“True, true, but that merely means that we must train our beloved fellows until they’re capable of doing this with pairs of two!” That was the ideal, but Zaimokuza was easily forgetting several key facts. I raised an eyebrow at her, but she didn’t seem to notice. “If we can spam this quest with our guild, in a rotation, we’ll have a treasury that rivals El Dorado—Itai!”

Wow, she actually said Itai upon getting her head chopped.

How much anime have you watched Zaimokuza. 

To have such an instinctive reaction…

Nevermind.

I don’t want to know.

“They can’t do this until they’re max levelled, and until they’re all properly outfitted and taught. We won’t be farming this on pair rotations until then.” Even though I planned to make Zaimokuza the Guild Leader, I had no intention of letting her lead it completely. I was going to be the bureaucracy, i.e. the one with power, while she’d get the fame, fortune, and other great stuff that every otaku wants in a life in another world. Seriously, I do a lot of things for Komachi. I’m the best Onii-chan. Hmmm? What’s that? No, I’m not a siscon! “But, that’s a good idea when they are. We’ll need to do it, eventually. That’ll be useful.”

“Ah, Hachiman! Such praise for your fellow through both time and space! Ohoho!” Zaimokuza was easily pleased and I used that to my advantage. I had to admit, given how positively he responded to praise, I was feeling less bad about doing this than a I thought. Actually, to be more accurate, the amount of pity I felt for Zaimokuza I was feeling was greatly outweighing the amount of self-loathing I had. This is just sad. I don’t want to meet her parents. I feel like they’ll embarrass me from all the praise they’ll throw my way for befriending their child. Yeah, that’s really sad! “As expected, you understand my brilliance whilst others do not!”

Do you see this, Japan? This is what your stringent culture has produced. You’ve turned what’s supposed to be a regular man, if a bit tubby, into someone who was ostracized. Then, instead of getting helped out, he was further looked down upon my his parents. How could any result have occurred besides addiction to anime and videogames? Zaimokuza is a victim of a society that did not take well to someone different. Thus, he became a little girl, and doesn’t wish to not be a little girl, because he wants to be treated like a little girl that’s eccentric and cute, instead of a man who’s freakish and weird.

“Undoubtedly, our meeting is the writ of fate itself, Hachiman! We are truly the chosen ones of destiny in this new world! We have come, we will conquer, and we shall live lives to the fullest, away from the world that betrayed us! This is our time, our world, and our true purpose!”

…Nevermind.

I’ll admit I don’t believe those earlier words of mine. 

Try as I might, I just couldn’t manage to blame anything else for Zaimokuza being Zaimokuza.

…

“Oi, Yukinoshita, help me figure this out.”

“Ara? The great and all-knowing Hikigaya-kun needs my help? What a surprise.” Unfortunately, try as she might, Yukinoshita was incapable of changing her racial traits. Eh? What was that? You think I’m talking about the additional appendages she now has? No. That’s not what I meant. What I’m saying that, despite everything, Yukinoshita remains Yukinoshita and will forever be a Yukinoshita. “Or, perhaps, this is a test that’ll show off your knowledge and how inept I am, despite my utter lack of experience in these matters? That won’t be a surprise, wouldn’t you say, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun?”

“Shame and failure is the best way to have lessons stick, so there’s no way I won’t use them as much as possible, especially when I can say that I’m doing it because I care.” The best way to deal with a Yukinoshita is to approach them directly. The Yukinoshita does not get flustered. That is a trap. The Yukinoshita lulls individuals into a false sense of security and goes for their throat. “You’d do the same in my place. Heck, I’m sure you do it to your employees whenever possible in real life. You don’t get to make me feel bad about this. Case closed.”

“Perhaps, in regards to others, such tactics would be necessary. However, I dare you to say that is the case for me.” Ah, the Yukinoshita has bared her claws. Actually, yes, that is literal this time. Yukinoshita has claws at the ends of her furred hands and feet, which adds a little damage to her in unarmed combat. Negligible damage at the higher levels, besides providing some different attack animations, but pain? Yeah, those’ll definitely hurt. However, being experienced in dealing with the Yukinoshita, I did not show fear. Fear is the enemy. “Am I inept, Hikigaya-kun? Do you think it necessary to use such tactics upon me? Is it? Hikigaya-kun?”

Considering my circumstances carefully, I decided to take the hide road and not escalate the fight.

Yes. 

Totally.
The moral high road is always my preferred route.

I never ever never take it.

Yep.

“…I want your help going into the city and helping me get supplies and equipment.” Yukinoshita peered at me with deep-blue, feline eyes.  The Yukinoshita searched me for any sign of deceit. Thankfully, she found none. Don’t worry when I give up—I mean, take the moral high road, I don’t double back. I commit to my route, because it’s just downright idiotic to take back anything… and saves aren’t a thing. Man, I wish saves are a thing. “Given how most of the playerbase is a bunch of no-lifers and casuals, I figure that you’ll be able to just swindle and steal everything they hold dear and cherish.”

“You are referring to me as though I’m some sort of demon. I don’t appreciate it, Hikigaya-kun.” With that icy voice, that cold stare, and that visage, I’m sure that demons would sue me for libel if I did such a thing. You’re a Yukinoshita, Yukinoshita. I’m sorry, but that’ll never change. You must accept who you are, Yukinoshita, because you’ll never be able to change. Ah, stop glaring at me! My wage-slave instincts are flaring up at that hereditary Management’s Eye of Death! It’s three hunred times more effective that the ordinary Management’s Eye of Death! IMBA! IMBAAAAAAA! Reality is pay to win and that needs to change, dammit! “However, you are correct. For purchasing the likes of necessities and equipment, in this world that most likely lacks individuals like myself, I’ll be an asset in your current plans.”

Wow.
Yukinoshita just managed to degrade my existence, insult the whole playerbase, and praise herself in a single breath.

Granted, I didn’t have any respect for the whole player base either, but I certainly wasn’t conceited enough to praise myself!

As expected, Yukinshita remains Yukinoshita no matter what happens.

“Well, then, when shall we leave? Which routes are we taking? Should I prepare for battle?” I blinked at the questions. They were good questions. However, they were uncessary questions. I wondered why Yukinoshita would ever ask unnecessary questions, before I realized that she didn’t know something that I did. Thus, I decided to take advantage of that completely. I took her hand, led her out of the house, and didn’t allow her to claw her way out of my grip. I couldn’t waste time, her mind was sharp, and I wasn’t going to allow this opportunity to pass. “I-I will not be dying simply so that we don’t need to travel and you don’t wish to waste resources!”

Going to the city via death was a good idea, but that wasn’t what we were going to be doing.

Zaimokuza had to take everyone to my humble, expanding abode on foot, due to the size of their part.

Such wasn’t the case now.

I called for my mount.

Indeed, I was going to enjoy every moment of scaring Yukinoshita absolutely witless by flying through the air like a madman on mere saddle.

Gehehe.

Yukinoshita won’t know that the saddle’s enchanted to never drop the rider!

This’ll be great!

…

I had my face scratched up.

But, it was worth it.

Kyaa went the Yukinoshita. Uwwaa went the Yukinoshita. Various other girly noises left Yukinoshita whilst she clung onto me for dear life. And, it was wholly for the purpose of terrifying her. Yukinoshita, being a Yukinoshita, never developed anything that the male mind would be interested in whilst someone is holding them. Such is the sad fate of Yukinoshita, however the fact of the matter is that even though she clawed at my face, it was my victory.

Hachiman’s great victory!

Ah, Zaimokuza’s influencing me.

I need to make sure that if I die and need to respawn, it’ll be via some sort of lobotomy. 

Anyway, Akihabara was just as I left it on the first day of the Calamity. 

At least, that’s what I’d like to say.

While it wasn’t completely devoid of  despondent, despairing players everywhere, which was a wonderful sight, if something I couldn’t bear to have Komachi look it, there was… an ebb and flow to Akihabara that wasn’t there previously.

Looking at Yukinoshita, I found her looking at me, and when she nodded towards the main street, I knew that our little supply run had turned into something differently entirely.

For there to be peddlers selling wares, people walking around bartering, and an actual community to have arisen from the populace of isolated, immortal individuals, something had to have changed. 

“Should we split up, Hikigaya-kun?” Splitting up was a good idea. Violence was forbidden in the Cities by very, very powerful NPCs. Given that there wasn’t PKers everywhere, I was sure that the system still functioned. Yukinoshita’s suggestion to cover twice the amount of ground was a good one, since we didn’t our combined strength to see us out of any situations, and the fact that we could contact each other through Party Chat. However… she was more of an expert in the situation than I was. “Hmmm?”

“We’ll stick together and compare notes on whatever we see. It’s better to be thorough on the first run, instead of covering the most ground.” The rule before any level was to be aware of one’s surroundings. Running around and covering the most ground was a tactic acceptable for individuals who had no fear of death. However, I didn’t what that habit in my forming guild, even in safe places like Akihabara. If wanted to my companions to be effective, I needed to start form the ground up and make as few mistakes as possible. “We’ll stick together, Yukinoshita.”

Whatever was happening, it would be easier to figure things out together, anyway.

“…I see. Very well, Hikigaya-kun.”