AGG: Devil Side Stories: Valerie 4

AGG: Devil Side Stories: Valerie 4

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Commissioned by Blue Flaming Wings

Word Count: 2500

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Had I been told that I’d be facing personal issues in Hell, I’d have reconsidered committing myself to the Gremory expedition.

Alas, I did not have the power of foresight.

So, now I was conversing with Shizi over tea, regarding a subject that I would’ve preferred to keep in the very back of my mind.

“Li has every intention of making you his. What do you plan to do regarding this?”

It was the question of a wife asking for a companion for her husband. To say that the question took me off guard was an understatement. Only a fool would be unable to see Song’s affection towards me, however I’d expected the inquiry about how I felt about him to come from him.

Instead, the question came from a Dhamphir I barely knew, while we were both in the Wastes of Hell.

I briefly debated prolonging the inevitable. Turning the question into a conversation would be easy. Why did she need the information? What will she do with it? How does this affect her life? Such a series of questions would be easy to answer and would be quite innocuous. I could delay until I could declare my break over, time and time again, and avoid the issue forever with Shizi none the wiser.

However, that wouldn’t solve the issue.

That being how answering that question was difficult, due to a myriad of reasons. How did I feel about Li Song? What were our relations with one another? Why was it I was so confused and incapable of answering?”

“Do you find him attractive?”

“Yes.” Of course, the answer was simple. Li Song was attractive. There was no denying that. His body, features, and form all adhered to an aesthetic that was pleasing to the eye, whether one was a man or a woman. Saying that he wasn’t attractive would be an absolute lie. “However, that doesn’t mean—

“I asked if you found him attractive.” There it is. Whenever my feelings regarding Li Song are put into question, if there’s not some sort of logical metric behind them, I am utterly incapable of answering. A myriad of excuses to answer always arises within my mind when the question is raised.  However, if the Dhamphir before me wasn’t relenting with that answer, then that meant it was unlikely that she would be persuaded by any other excuse. “Not what you think, but what you feel, Valerie Creighton.”

If you asked me about who Li Song was, I see two people.

First, that boy who’d stood in a world reeling from being cut, while standing before a girl who he was protecting. That boy would go on to find the girl he protected break, shatter, and take her own life due to machinations that he was part of. Using his own weapon, which he’d kept near his person while sleeping due to habit, and his own actions the weeks before following the bidding of a woman he trusted, a young woman took her life. A boy who I had to care for, educate, and look after.

Then, there’s the man who destroyed Ouroboros with ease for harming me. Someone who destroyed an organization that held the world hostage for decades. An Aspect of Conflict who strode upon the world, protecting what he could, while ensuring that he remains only a protector, despite all his aspirations and desires. A man who approached every situation with the intent to overcome it without a single ounce of regret, no matter how much he suffered, or the burden that he would have to carry.

But… those words weren’t enough to clear my mind…

What I truly wanted.

What I desired.

I wished...

“Nothing matters until the two of you have fought.” The words Shizi uttered did stop my heart. I’ve had my heart cease beating against opponents to know how it felt. Father could manage it with words, too. However, I didn’t expect that of Shizi. It never occurred to me that a former Royal Guard of the Jade Empire who was now an assassin could affect my heartbeat in the slightest. “Until you’ve defeated him, or he’s defeated you, then your emotions don’t matter. Or, do they, Pale Death, Wielder of Divine Dividing and half of the White Dragon of Supremacy?”

All my life, I’ve been told that what I was did not decide who I was. Despite being of Lucifer’s blood, despite being a half-Devil born of power instead of love, I was Valerie Creighton and I chose what I wanted to be. That has always been the case. I pursued every skill. I trained everything I could train myself in. I educated myself to the highest degree I could. As I strode into the world, I learned, changed, and adapted instead of allowing myself to be granted any title beside my name… except for one.

Pale Death.

Why?

Because it was a name that Albion decided was better than all our other names.

Our.

Yes.

Without a doubt, it was as Shizi had implied.

I am of the Longinus Divine Dividing.

Albion is of the Longinus Divine Dividing.

The two of us together are a weapon that kill anything, overcome any challenge, and rule over everything we face.

I am more Dragon than I am human or Devil.

How could anyone have expected anything else of me?

Chosen by a Dragon, being given a Dragon as my only companion as a child and having a Dragon as a partner all my life. Our thoughts aligned with one another, our beings became indistinguishable, and sometimes I forgot if I am thinking or he is thinking. Was I two individuals in one? Or one? I did not know. Sometimes, sometimes I wondered if I was even me… but that doubt fades away with time.

We bled into one another as I mastered my Longinus, until we were indistinguishable, thus the two of us were completely and utterly changed forever.

And, we both had Pride that would never let someone weaker than us rule over us.

Logically, I knew that my way of thinking regarding certain things were completely different. Being the head of CORE appealed to me because it was a position of authority and power, along with the fact that Father saved the world dozens of times without any recognition and fame. For someone to be pure, for them to be righteous, they’ll only need the latter as a reason to take the position. However, I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t acknowledge the fact that being such an indomitable individual, who deserves all respect, but does not require it, didn’t entice me… I would be a liar.

Easily, without the slightest issue or flare of anger, I can use logic to do tasks. Did I think that a few things I was given was menial? Yes. However, I did them, extracted what I could from them, and moved on. I worked, attending meetings, and learned things that I did not need to do, but I had to do. Without a doubt, I’m sure that if Father didn’t raise me the way he did, I would be different. I would be far more prideful, arrogant, and selfish. Albion would have bled into me, whilst he kept himself stable and secure, but given how I was raised, we altered one another until we were more than just pride and power.

But were romance and personal relationships not mine to dictate as I wished?

How to like, how to love, and how to be affectionate… all those were my decisions to make on my own.

So, knowing all of that, then my answer was simple.

“Yes. That’s the case. What’ll become of me and Song will be seen after he’s defeated me, or I’ve defeated him.”

Again, I expected many responses from Shizi.

However, in the end, she surprised me once more.

“So, if I defeat you, then you’ll let go of him, as I ask?”

At those words, a single word filled my mind, bypassing everything I knew, studied, and learnt over all my years.

Impertinent.

And, I wanted nothing more than restitution for said impertinence.

However, I couldn’t help but give greater meaning to my previous answer, as Shizi probably intended. Indeed, I was filled with pride. Through a lens of pride, I judged the world of worth. Tempered, honed, and carefully forged, that pride was an asset to me, but one that I kept in check through everything I’d experienced throughout my existence. I could see through that pride, especially when it forced me to react in a way I disliked or knew was incorrect.

So, with that single word from Shizi, I realized that I probably intend something for Li Song whether he won or lost against him.

Regardless of what he was before, and what he was now, I was interested in Li Song to the point where if someone threatened my chance to pursue that interest… I nearly lose lash out in anger.

By the time I understand that, Shizi was gone from my tent.

Without a doubt, she knew me more than I knew of her.

…

It took some difficulty, but I found Shizi even when she didn’t want to be found. Why she became a Royal Guard instead of an assassin, I didn’t know. The talents she had would’ve been noticed at an early age. Maybe if she had trained to her specialty, she would’ve more a threat against Ouroboros of that time.

Those were the thoughts of a Dragon, though.

The Jade Empire had valued honor, loyalty, and strength. Striking from the shadows had its place, but it was not the preferred method of the Empire, and that made it strong while all around the world the supernatural remained only in enclaves. If individuals like Shizi, in the massive Jade Empire, were all turned into assassins, spies, and turncoats, it would’ve never reached the point where it could’ve become the Fourth Faction.

However, those thoughts were still that of a Dragon, albeit one tempered with decades of effort.

How did Valerie Creighton see Shizi?

That was a question that I pondered whilst searching for her, but when I found her… I still didn’t have anything to say.

Without a doubt, after verifying that she wasn’t a threat, that she was manipulated, and that she sought out a way to redeem herself, I didn’t pay her any notice. Some more gracious individuals will say that I was busy, that I had other matters to attend to, and it was not on purpose that I did such a thing. However, if she understood me so well, if she was able to place herself in my shoes, and if she was as similar to me as I believed… then that didn’t matter.

The fact that I didn’t think she was an individual of consequence, while the person she adored and gave herself to chased after me, would injure her immensely.

I am sure that between herself and the others who fancied Li Song there was a perceptible change. They were competing with one another in their own ways, but I was always content to simply watch them do as they wished. It was likely that they all knew my intentions one way or another, thus they all left me to my own devices. However, with Shizi’s step forward, there must have been a shift in her relations with Himejima, Shirone, and Quarta.

But none with me.

What was the saying?

The worst defeat one can render to an enemy is to not consider them an enemy at all?

Was that not what I had just done to Shizi?

Have I not said through my lack of reaction to her that Li Song still chases me while he has you? That while she’s given everything to him, I needn’t give him anything, and he’ll continue to adore me more so than her? In her place, if I’d given Li Song what she’d given him, and he chased after her without acknowledging me in the slightest… wouldn’t I be infuriated beyond all measure?

“I apologize for what I’ve done.” I tendered my apology with the Jade dialect. For the first time since we sat together, I surprised Shizi. Yes, without a doubt, even this apology could be a form of supremacy. I didn’t bow. I didn’t prostate myself. I was apologizing because I would have hated what I’ve done being done to me. However, without a doubt, this was the right thing to do in this situation. “I understand that if I intend to fight Li Song and decide our relationship with one another, especially when I’ll take him only for myself if I’m victorious, that you’re someone who I must defeat first.”

Pride.

That was something that defined me.

Something that didn’t allow me to back down, relent, or accept forgiveness.

I can appreciate Li Song’s willingness, his aspirations, and his humility. In every sense of the word, while I could never be a hero, he can be. While I’ll answer every threat I’m capable of answering, he can be content just protecting him and his own. Should there be an enemy at the gates, he won’t throw himself at them, but instead search for a myriad of means to solve every problem. After being manipulated, taken advantage of, and used in his time of need, he can forgive while I can barely bite my tongue and stop myself from asking him to fight me, to settle the issue once and for all, and lay to rest all wrongs beneath the feet of whoever was left standing.

If he was too weak after our battle, then I would have no interest in him.

If he fought me well and was defeated, I would take him for myself and only for myself.

If he defeated me, then... I was his?

It was simple when he had no romantic relations with anyone.

But, that was no longer the case, I’d ignored that fact, and I’d slighted someone in a way that I would’ve utterly hated.

So, I apologized and made my motives clear.

I would have nothing less of myself.

Not now.

Not here.

Not after I was defeated, chose my own path, and decided to live as I wanted to live.

Shizi peered into the vast, untamed, and perilous Wasteland of Hell, which I traversed as a child to escape a man who I once called my grandfather. As capable as I was in regard to finding and locating her, I was still unable to tell what lay behind that mask of her hers, even though Hyoudou was frustratingly capable of it… if he was capable of finding her.

Nevertheless, when she turned to face me, I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed in her answer.

“If I fight you, the only way I’ll have the chance to defeat you is by coming at you with intent the intent to kill.” Shizi stood and swore to me. There was no melancholy in her gaze. No sign of hatred, anger, or jealousy. Only acknowledgement and commitment towards doing what she can do against the threat I posed. I loomed over her and covered her in shadow, more like a mountain than a woman, but she stood firm beneath my gaze. “You will not see me coming. There will be no warning. I won’t hesitate to take advantage of every trick I can to have you obey me, before you face Li.”

To such words, of course, I had only one answer.

“You may try.”

She escaped my attack whilst my own shadow tried to strangle me.