Devil Side Stories: Rias 7

Devil Side Stories: Rias 7

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Commissioned by cjdavis

Word count: 2064

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After a hard day of killing unknown, terrible monsters, the best thing to do is sit back, relax, and catch up on shows while getting my dailies down.

That was how I did it when the province once getting raided, using to my advantage the wonderful things known as “time dilation” and “virtual reality.” Some might say that simulating a room full of screenings and games would be a waste of  time. However, in the end, everyone has the right to do what they want during their periods of rest and relaxation.

Even in the middle of the nowhere, in Hell’s uncharted regions, one can sleep and entertain themselves with an entire day’s worth of games and shows before reawakening and having fun.

After my long, difficult day, I’d planned to do just that.

There was the new Pearl Shooter movie to enjoy. I had a new lovely, magnificent new SSR to raise. I quit competitive, ranked multiplayer games, so I could spend my time hunting for some new figures. Maybe, if I found myself finishing up my dailies and shows quickly, I could even take to an MMO and have some old-fashioned fun.

However, my plan didn’t pan out.

Why?

Because the last enemy attack broke the camp’s communication’s array and the spare was going to take three hours to set up.

My day of lazing around in time-dilation… was going to be cut down by nine whole hours!

Naturally, I wasn’t the sort of idiot who’d ever chance losing their logins, but that was still nine hours gone out of a virtual-day.

That was terrible.

Some of the soldiers were acting tough. But I could see it in their eyes… at least half of them were going to lose their login streaks. Some were trying not cry. Others were mustering up the courage to try and use a Communicator that was Quantum Entangled. However, those were for emergencies… no matter how much of the shift signed the petition that was floating around.

Poor, unfortunate bastards.

Y’all should take better care of your accounts, y’know?

Anyway, I was fine with losing a few hours, but the real question was what the heck I was going to do with three extra hours IRL in the middle of nowhere in Hell.

No question, if I found myself with three spare hours on an Arcology, I’ll check out Akihabara in the evening. I hear things get really, really crazy there. Real life cosplay. Some would just be drones who are made to look like cute girls in magnificent, skimpy outfits… but there’s always one or two in each store who’s actual a real, living cosplayer! 

I don’t know how such things are legal in real life, but if the net was ever down like now, I’d go there in a heartbeat!

But, I can’t do that.

I might be off my shift to defend the camp, but I was still on call.

As much as I would’ve liked the opportunity to meet some real girls who dress in eroti-cute outfits, I couldn’t leave my post.

Being on call in case of something terrible happening, I only had my soldiers, my sister, and the a handful of the Preservers to talk to.

Wait.

…

“Would you care to explain why Shizi had me restrain you, Rias?” Val is a stick in the mud. The most stickiest stick in the muddiest mud. “Glare all you want, Rais. I’m not releasing you until you give me a satisfactory answer.” She carried me through camp while all my soldiers looked upon me. This was definitely trampling on my authority! She needed to release me before she created a diplomatic incident. “No. I’m stopping one from happening. Why? Because, according to my subordinate, you asked her if you could take pictures of her panties while she glared at you like you were a piece of trash.”

If you don’t understand the appeal to Iyapan delivered by a Mahou Shoujo, there’s no point in talking at all!

“Those are words, yes, but would you mind saying them in a way I would understand?” Augh, what kind of normie are you, Valerie Creighton? I thought I was being mean, but do you truly lack any knowledge of anime at all?  Am I currently on the shoulder of the most uncultured individual to ever exist!? I can’t believe that you’re the step-sister of an idol! Give me back all my yuri-yuri imaginings of you being the older, adopted nee-sama this instant! “Uh, sure. You can have it. Now, do you want to explain your sexual harassment of Shizi?”

It… it wasn’t sexual harassment.

If an otaku has a friend who cosplays, it’s their right to spoiled in their innermost desires, because they pledge their lives to protecting the aforementioned cosplay friend!

I will die before I allow Pearl Shooter to die… so, I have the right to make a pilgrimage and witness the holiest of sights!

Iyapan with Pearl Shooter!

I want Pearl Shooter to look at me with a disgusting face while raising her skirt!

I’ll be only person in the world, besides Li Song to witness such a thing!

Gwuaaahhh!!!

“I’m worried that you’re only somewhat joking, Rias. Your hobby is sounding more deviant by the second.”  I slumped upon my captor’s shoulder. She truly didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how an individual as intelligent and capable as Valerie Creighton could be such a massive normie. No. She isn’t a normie. Normies at least know enough about anime to feel pity for people who have lost themselves to anime. Creighton only feels hesitation and fear. It was kinda nice to be feared, but I was still disappointed that Creighton was so impossibly uncultured. I thought she’d at least understand the appeal of being the only individual to be graces with a Mahou Shoujo’s Iyapan IRL… “Again. Those words. They’re words I would forward to the police, not expect out of polite company, let alone a person of your status, Rias.”

What is life without humor and joy? How can someone exist in such a way they actually take from the collective happiness of all living beings? Why can an individual who makes puppies and kittens less cute and fluffy exist? Where is the justice if it allows a person who kills fun by merely existing to exist? When will humanity decide to stop tolerating such an existence?

“Is… are you referencing something?”

I was wrong.

“Wrong about what.”

Valerie Creighton wasn’t a normie.

“Thank you?”

She’s boring.

“And, you’ve lost me again.”

I don’t want to explain. I really don’t. However, I couldn’t simply stand by and ignore someone who requires so much help.

“…”

Worst girls deserve a chance to win, after all.

“Now, I’m sure you’re trying to make me mad.”

…

What is Creighton even? Tsundere? Yandere? Kuudere?

I pondered these questions while restrained in Creighton’s room. That usually means Yandere. However, there was a lack of any sexy lingerie, hu-hu-hu-ing, and knives, so that made her stand on shaky ground. What really disqualified her from the type was the fact she wasn’t threatening me for shaking Li Song’s hand that one time. Yep. A Yan can Yan without all the stereotypical callouts, but she wasn’t a Yan if she didn’t care about a woman touching her man that one time no one remembers.  

I had to keep away from Li Song for that reason.

Who knows how many Yans he has after him now!

I had to keep myself safe!

“There’s only thirty minutes left until you can reenter your virtual space, Rias. Please, allow me to rest in those thirty minutes.” Valerie in resting clothes was just like Valerie in work clothes. Simple, practical, and white pajamas. Tsundere was crossed out because of that, but Kuuderes definitely didn’t talk while they were reading. Or, read the news. If she were a Kuudere, she’d be reading something classical and/or something romantic, but incredibly trashy. Kuuderes are above the news. Over it. Beyond it. News isn’t cute. “That’s a Men In Black reference.”

SHE KNOWS THE SOURCES OF OLD, DEAD MEMES, BUT NOT MODERN ART!?

“You obviously know the source, too.”

Yes. I did. But, I don’t watch it. Only try-hards actually watch the source. Memes are for memeing. Nothing more and nothing less. If you try to find deeper meaning in a meme, you’re using the meme wrong or, again, trying too hard. Both are offenses which will make one laughing stocks in chatrooms.

“And, here I thought I was actually starting to understand something you said.” Valerie muttered and sighed. This girl before me is an enigma. She had the style and grace to be a main girl, but she wasn’t being special. Where was the worried, fretful attitude that made me want to protect her and promise to stay with her? What about the emotional outbursts that beg for comfort and understanding? How is it she’s not emotionally estranged… but prone to wanting hugs and close contact more than anyone else? “Those all sound that like mental problems, Rias. Those don’t make you special or different. They get you referred to a psychologist or perhaps a psychiatrist.”

Well… b-being overly serious and being unable to have fun is a disorder too!

“…”

Living doesn’t need to be incredibly serious. Sure, it’s good to be serious when you need to be serious, but being focused all the time is just a way to get stressed.

Even if Valerie’s one of those people who are more relaxed knowing that they’ve done their best and have everything in their life going for them, there still needs to be some silly, fun things to do.

What’s the point of winning if all you’ll be doing after is searching for the next challenge to win?

Winning for the sake of being able to laugh, live, and be silly is much better than winning so you can just fight the next fight.

Right?

“I don’t know.”

…

“Self-actualization.”

Gesundheit.

“I’m answering your question about Creighton, Rias.”

Ah.

Yes.

Self-actualization.

That was a thing.

A thing for Creighton.

Creighton’s thing.

Yep.

I understood completely, my dear sister.

Aria raised an eyebrow at me. I wished she didn’t I was cutting in my VR time by visiting her after being released from the awkward tent of awkwardness. I simultaneously wanted to have my questions regarding Valerie Creighton answered, but I also wanted to rest and forget about the extension of my day. I didn’t get Iyapan: Pearl Shooter edition, was chastised by Valerie, and then every ounce of awkwardness in the world decided to show up an hour before she was going to let me go.

So, thought I understood, I would like it very much if she explained it to me.

In fifty words or less, preferably.

“Creighton has no problems besides personal problems. They used to be solved, her future used to be clear, but now she’s lost and adrift and figuring out her life.”  That’s 30 words. My sister has 20 words remaining, but I got the gist of it. Truly, I have terrific little sister. “29, actually. She’s also a half-devil whose partner is a Dragon and has the Sin of Pride. Put it together, Rias.”

And, that was exactly 50 words.

Truly, my sister is deserving of being the head of the Gremory household while I spent my life lazily in the shadows until she needed me for some reason.

That was great.

I can help Valerie much easily now.

“If you mean leave her alone and let her solve her own problem or fail, then yes helping Valerie Creighton is very easy.” Aria took a sip of her breakfast while shaking her head. This is the part of the show where everything fades to black while I’m completely shocked. But, I’m not. “Yes. Like all Devils with the Sin of Pride, she needs to learn her lessons herself or she’ll simply resist and resist. It will be more difficult for her, given her power and talent, but she’ll succeed at failing eventually.”

Hmmm… does succeeding at failing happen to possibly include Li Song in some way?

I just had to know.

For research purposes.

“Go to sleep, Rias. You’re perverse when you’re tired.”

Right, right… wait that’s not how that phrase is supposed to go.

“Yet, it’s true.”