Honestly, I Don't Know What I Expected: Interlude: The Astray Elf

Interlude: The Astray Elf

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Commissioned by Althero and Patreon Special

Wordcount: 3500

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The Loki Familia was considerate, kind, and better than I could have ever hoped. Though I missed home dearly, I couldn’t help but breathe easier within Orario, despite my need to take more Steps towards Divinity by overcoming the challenges of the Dungeon.

I only wish that mother and father could be with me, if they were I would not be homesick in the least.

Not… not that I could say such things aloud.

If I were able to summon up the courage to stay in my homeland, I… it’s best to not dwell upon that.

The Loki Familia deserves my commitment and my focus!

So, Lefiya Viridis, the Loki Familia shall receive that focus!

“Well, you seem quite excited for today.” Giving the most undignified squeak of surprise ever utter by an elf, I finally noticed the presence of the heiress to my country’s throne. Rivera Ljos Alf had been waiting for me to notice her as I looked at myself in the mirror. What confidence I managed to muster reflecting on myself and my need to do better petered away. Uwaa! I ignored my monarch, while she stared at me trying to gain confidence! Why? Why didn’t I just choose to stay at home forever!? “Hmmm, it seems I’ve spoken too soon, but, make no mistake, I appreciate your attempt to muster confidence in yourself, young one.”

A better Elf would have been able to take confidence in their monarch giving them praise. We are a proud, noble race, after all. However, I could barely manage to raise my head and meet her gaze even after she was so gracious. 

Truly, Lefiya Viridis, you need to change!

Where else will you be able to go, if you can’t stay in Orario, where a god has chosen to take you under her care!?

“Now, now, there’s no need to try so hard, young one. Take a breath and let that weight fall from your shoulders. We are aware of your circumstances.” My monarch placed a hand on my shoulder while granting me a smile. N-no wonder her and her family are so venerated amongst our people. She has no qualms about physical contact, as long as it’s to comfort another! I… I wouldn’t have been able to comfort me, if I’d been before myself! “I know of your circumstances. You need not fear being turned into a weapon here. In this Familia, you are an Adventurer of Loki, as I am.”

Those words should have calmed me completely, but I only managed to cease shaking and nod at my monarch’s words. I should have been able to raise my head, wipe away the worries cresting over my cheeks, and smile in gratitude.

But, all I was able to do was nod and hold fast.

Thankfully, Rivira Ljos Alf-sama approved of that, even if I wasn’t the Elf I should have been.

I couldn’t do more.

Not yet.

Not so soon after my exile. 

…

The Loki Familia’s castle was large, but its halls were very populated. All manner of people traversed the halls, staying to one side or another as they went forward or back through the halls of the castle. The center of each hall had a lane left open, through which those working with carts ferrying crates zipped through quickly past one another to wherever they were needed.

It was remarkably like the changes to roads instituted by the Royal Family a few years ago. Some had voiced contention at laws that didn’t exist before, but their voices were quelled when it made travel upon the roads quicker at little cost. 

Had Alf-sama come up with the idea herself? Or did Loki-sama? It was a very good idea, which I appreciated, if only because it let me go home more quickly and avoid those who I wished to avoid. 

The more time I spent within the Loki Familia, the more ideas such as the “lanes,” I recognized. 

The castle was efficient in all things, with everything having their place, and with everyone knowing where their place was supposed to be at all times. There were boards in the mess hall from which everyone can determine their jobs for the day. Time was being kept for everything and everyone. Breaks were plentiful, along with instruction to rest and recuperate, and there was an abundance of everything that was needed by an individual.

There were dorms in the surrounding area of the castle where new recruits, those with only 1 or 2 Steps resided, but I’d been exempt from it due to my circumstances. I was ashamed that I was happy to have a room of my own, that I was treated better than others without deserving it and not having earned the right as others did, however I truly appreciated having a small bedroom of my own that was close to my teacher’s.

Still, I’d marvelled at how that room was swiftly furnished and all my belongings were packed within the span of an hour by the Adventurers acting as staff in the Loki Familia’s castle. Then, in the same hour, I’d received my orders from a messenger with a pouch and enchanted shoes who flitted through the whole castle with a smile. After that, I ate, spoke, and trained with my new teacher. I hadn’t had the time to think until I was told to rest.

It was a marvelous place, perhaps not the hall of heroes chosen by Kami that I’d expected, but marvelous nonetheless.

After morning training with my monarch and teacher, I looked forward to a hearty meal not unlike that I’d eat at home, along with more exotic choices if I wished, for breakfast. There was nary a food in the mess hall that I found wanting, and the thought of leaving the castle to go outside to eat never crossed my mind, despite the fact I’d planned to search for a restaurant that served my home’s cuisine from the moment I’d left my home. 

But… there was some things that worried me still.

Amidst the laugher, the interactions, and the joy within the mess hall, there was a girl who wouldn’t let herself be approached by anyone else.

It was the Sword Princess.

Tales of her spread far and wide. She was the strongest Adventurer. One of two who have reached the Seventh Step of Divinity, with the other being Ottar of the Freya Familia. She was being of grace and beauty in peace and a terror amongst terrors in war. It was said she can cast down all but the strongest of Monster Rexes with utter ease. With her unbreakable sword, the storms she calls upon herself, and her mastery over so many other weapons, she is an untouchable being clad purely in white and who leads her Familia to victory after victory.

Knowing of a being such as her gave even someone such as me hope. I’d wished to meet her, to tell her that her stories let me go back to the Academy day after day, despite everything else. I wanted to be like her and overcome my fears. 

Instead, my Alf-sama placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me away from her.

“What happened to her?” My voice was a whisper I could barely hear, but I noticed that the mess hall got just a little quieter. There was still talk, but I noticed that the sound of laughter had disappeared. I felt as though I’d crossed a taboo and that I would be hated, but Alf-sama simply pushed me forward towards our table. I received nods in my passing, all telling me that I did nothing wrong, but they gave me no comfort. My future monarch sat in front of me, while my back was to my hero, and spoke to me while her gaze looked beyond me. “Alf-sama?”

“Her teacher disappeared. He might be gone.” Though my teacher and future queen would not lie to me, I couldn’t help but be terribly confused. A teacher? The Sword Princess was of the Loki Familia, so she would be taught by those with more Steps in Divinity, as all the younger members of the Familia were. The thought that she had a personal teacher… it didn’t match with all tales I’ve been told of her. To raise a legend like her would require a legend of equal bearing… though the notion that she simply became herself with only minimal aid was an idea that was equally silly. “He was with her since she was a child… and she cherishes him quite a bit.”

The coolness of my mentor’s voice, the utter lack of feelings in her voice, told me that the topic was not something she found easy to speak about. I couldn’t help but wilt at the thought that I was causing Riveria Ljos Alf discomfort, but my curiosity had yet to be satiated.

“Is there any way we could help her, Alf-sama?”

I didn’t know how my curiosity translated to those words, but I felt myself go absolutely red with embarrassment in an instant upon hearing my own face. 

Still, when I saw a smile upon Alf-sama’s face, I knew that I managed to do something right.

“My, my you can be quite surprising when you wish to be, Viridis. I’d thought that you would be the sort to cower and hide from such things.” Though I felt my flush deepen at the teasing sent my way, the lack of malice it had and the light laughter that followed it made me feel at ease. “But, it’s a very pleasant surprise. Yes, I think there’s something a newcomer like yourself could do for the Loki Familia’s dear Sword Princess. However, I must warn you that it might be a tad difficult.”

I nearly wilted at the thought of doing something Rivera Ljos Alf believed was difficult, but I marshalled the same courage I summoned when asking how I could help the Sword Princess. It was easier than I thought it would be. I could only wonder as to why. Back home, I’d barely been able to stand for myself, yet I managed to summon the will to help the girl in the corner of the mess, staring down at her food, and leaving it untouched while everyone else chattered about silently.

No.

That was a lie.

I knew why I wanted to help her. 

“W-whatever it is, I can do it, Alf-sama.” The Loki Familia took me in. It was also plain to the observant gaze that they cared for the Sword Princess. I couldn’t help but feel that the mess hall, which had been so active and happy before I spoke, would be more rambunctious and free-spirited if the Sword Princess was happy too. This was more than just me helping a girl who I heard stories about, but who sat alone and miserable, but also to give back some of the kindness that had been sent my way. “You can count on me, I swear!”

Rivera Ljos Alf smiled at me.

I took heart in that smile.

“Very well, then I would like you to become her best friend by any means necessary, okay? The two of you shall be the very best of friends, while I do my best to look for a dead man and make him wish he were dead.”

Eh.

Eh?

EHHHHHHHHHH!?

…

Ais Wallenstein walked by my side. Though I stood beside a fellow Familia member, who also happened to be one of the strongest adventurers of all time, I was shivering and shuddering with such nerves that I felt that I was about to break apart. Not because of Orario, nor the fact that we were walking in one of the more dilapidated, rough portions of the city, but due to my companions herself.

From afar, her silence and misery were matters that I could muster the courage to try and help. However, when in close proximity to her, it was a stifling, suffocating energy that poured forth from her and settled into my bones. The sorrow she felt was beyond anything I was accustomed to, and not merely because Elves were expected to keep themselves calm and controlled, but I felt it was not something born of just merely losing a teacher.

Ais Wallenstein seemed to utterly lack a reason to continue.

I felt as though I was walking besides a being that had no reason to exist.

Her gaze was faraway and situated in the distance. Though she avoided the path of others, it was more that her presence caused all that neared her to take a different path, as though she was something that could not be stopped. Clad completely in a coat and hat of purest white and deepest azure, with her unbreakable sword at her side, and gilded with both armor and hair that seemed richer and deeper than gold, she cut the figure of a dashing heroine who would put an end to all evils.

In her passing, there should have been wonder and joy, but she was instead more similar to those who had nothing, who asked for nothing, and merely shuffled without words nor purpose.

I could barely stand by her side, as we walked through the streets of Orario together to run errands, let alone speak with her and befriend her.

I was engrossed with my thoughts so much that I didn’t even notice we stopped.

Not because we were at our destination, but because she chose to stop walking.

“There’s no need for you to stay by my side.” If her countenance was enough to make me quake, her voice made me freeze. With her faraway gaze locked onto me, her beauty and handsomeness became something terrible to behold. Her sharp features, her vibrant visage, and brimming health were a sharp contrast to her muted gaze. That, combined with her placid whisper, made me forget entirely about the warmth of the day, all the other people in the world, and the sun that hung in the sky. I felt as though I were in a void with only her before me, yet all my senses told me to run into the darkness and away from her. “You should go back to the castle. I will do the errands.”

I tried to speak, but no words would leave my mouth. I did not know if I could even breathe, let alone manage to make speech, but I tried my best to say no. Still, no words would come, even as she gave me the slightest of nods and took a single step away from me. The moment she began to walk away, the world became ever-so-slightly brighter and more bearable, but I hated it.

It was me running away again, so soon after I’d run from my home.

Ais Wallenstein terrified me, that much was certain, but the thought of running from someone in my new safe haven, perhaps as a precursor to a path I will live for the rest of my life, made me hate the thought of letting matters stand as they did. 

“No. I-I can do this. I need to do this.” I stuttered. I hated that I did. It wasn’t how an Elf was supposed to be. We were supposed to be noble, poignant, and capable in all things. I was nothing like a proper Elf. But I wouldn’t let what was happening now stand. “I’m not leaving, Wallenstein-senpai!” 

She took another step and another after I managed to say what I needed to say. 

A pit of dread filled my stomach, as I could only keep watching her back go farther and farther away.

But, in the end, the hero that I’d heard so much about still remained.

“Do as you wish.”

It was a far cry from acceptance. Acceptance would have meant her meeting me halfway, working with me to my goals, and perhaps returning to me. However, instead of that, she simply kept walking forward. She did not bar my way, but neither did she offer any aid whatsoever. 

It was permission at most, but I took heart in it nonetheless. 

It was more than I could have asked for.

…

The days passed slowly, but before I knew it weeks had passed. I made more friends amongst the Familia, progressed in my studied, and became a competent Adventurer. Though I still regretted the early days, when I could barely speak to others, or was incapable of fighting without magic, I was different due to the Loki Familia’s efforts.

It was only after those handful of weeks did I meet my Kami-sama for the second time.

Loki-sama had much to do with such a massive Familia. Though she spent time with groups in the mess hall, there were so many in her Familia that most saw her only once every few days, and with only with their companions. After she accepted me into her Familia, overwriting the Falna that was on my back before with her own, I never met with her alone again.

But, when I returned to my room this time, I found her sitting on my bed.

“Come now, Lefiya-chan. There’s no need to be afraid! I just want to know how you’ve been!” I was startled. Even after fighting monsters and surviving a whole expedition, I was surprised by one person appearing where they shouldn’t be. It was terrible. If I were in combat, I would most certainly have to have been saved. “And, how well Ais-chan has been doing since Hachiman-kun decided to be mean and leave.”

Over the course of my time with the Loki Familia, I only heard the name Hikigaya Hachiman, the teacher of Ais Wallenstein three times. 

Each time, Ais grew as sad the first day I met her, no matter how much her sorrow faded with me, Tione, and Tiona. 

Just hearing it made me look over my shoulder in fear that Ais did too.

“Oh, poo. That’s too bad.” I had said nothing, but I felt as though my Kami-sama had managed to figure everything out. While I’d been wondering what to say, Loki-sama had seemingly read my mind and my heart.  If they were not so kind and good to mortals, I would have been terrified. “I hoped I wouldn’t have had to go beg that bastard to come back.”

I stilled at the words. 

“Come back?” 

Hikigaya Hachiman was a person I though dead, who the whole Familia thought was dead, and, most importantly, someone who Ais Wallenstein thought was dead. He’d done so much for the Loki Familia, making so much of what I’d praised from the moment I’d arrived. But, again, the important fact was that people suffered when they thought he was gone. 

I was appreciative of Loki-sama, of that there was no doubt, but I couldn’t think of the person who saved me without reward as a person who’d pretend someone like Hikigaya Hachiman was dead!

I never met him… but he was a part of the Loki Familia that was missed months after he disappeared!

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice that Loki-sama had arisen from my bed and was mere centimeters from me… with a smile on her face.

“Oho, it seems I was right to come to you for this, Lefiya-chan. You’re the sort of person Hikigaya wouldn’t be able to refuse.” Loki-sama was praising me. However, I was only confused by her words. I didn’t understand why she seemed so proud, since if she read my heart and mind, she’d have seen nothing but distrust and affront. “It’s fine. No. It’s actually great! I missed having someone around to question everything I do, you know? It takes real bravery to tell someone you like that they’re wrong, even if Hikigaya will never admit he likes anyone!”

I didn’t know what to think, but Loki-sama took a step back and pressed a finger against her lips.

“Hmmm, to tell you the truth. I don’t know if Hachiman-kun is alive or not. He’s very special. He kept all sorts of secrets from me, but I liked that about him, even if he was irritating.” Loki-sama mused aloud, carelessly quashing my fretting about her not caring for her Familia. She paced around my room whilst humming, a fond smile on her face, though her eyes were sharp and faraway. “But, he’s not the sort to die, you know? And, he’s definitely the sort of guy who’d fake his death to make everything easier for him, you know?”

I couldn’t match the person who was praised by everyone to be the one that Loki-sama was describing, but she laughed before I could even ask that question. 

“Hachiman-kun is the sort of person you miss when he’s gone. No one will ever badmouth him behind his back, so I understand.” Loki-sama’s smile seemed more pleasant for a moment, as she spoke about her Familia, but it faded away after a moment. “But, that’s not the point, Lefiya-chan. I’m here to give you a little Quest, that no one in my Familia can do, but no one in another Familia can do either: bring back Hachiman-kun, so that he and I could talk things through.”

I was new to the Familia, someone who was still a stranger, but someone still within it, so it was a Quest that only I could do. Knowing that, a part of me still wondered how I could bring back a man who was dead… but another portion of soul told me that Loki-sama wouldn’t have me do anything as impossible as that. 

Hikigaya Hachiman was within my reach, Loki-sama was entrusting finding him to me, and, hopefully, his return would result in the hurt of the Familia and Ais being mended.

And… ummm… it would be great if I had everything explained more simply once everything was done too…

Loki-sama laughed at that particular thought of mine without hesitation.