riSe HiGhsCHool aU: 3: THE RECKONING

riSe HiGhsCHool aU: 3: THE RECKONING

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Commissioned by IhaxlikeNoob

Word Count: 2500

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My name is Hyoudou Issei and I’ve just witnessed the most wholesome sight of my life.

Coda and Song are meant to be together. If the world decides otherwise, the world is wrong, and it must be corrected. That’s right, if all of humanity decided that they can’t be together, humanity itself would be in error.. For the sake of their mutual love and respect, I’ll kill all of humanity, then myself, so that all the sins I committed to protect them die with me. Yes, without a doubt, SongXCoda is the only route, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

“Well, Hyoudou-senpai, what did you learn about senpai’s home life?” GAH. NO. You can’t do this, reality! Why must you foist this upon me? Why must you confront my will with a challenge right away? How could you stoop so low as to throw Allsbane at me, the youngest of the Kendo Club, calling Song “senpai,” and pretending not to be worried, the day after I’ve found the One True Path!? “As his student, I must make sure that he’s okay, you understand? It’s my responsibility to take care of my senpai, as his kouhai!”

She’s petting the class bunny while saying these things.

What kind of reality challenges a person with this sort of test of faith? The world is definitely wrong. No. I should’ve known that the world was wrong a long time ago. I was born a boy. Wait. Wait! WAIT! No, no, stop! Monologuing about a boy not being a girl is supposed to apply to the MC’s best friend, not the MC. Wait. Am I the MC? Or… or am I supposed to be the bro character that would be better off as a tomboy!? Calm down, Issei. Think the right things. The world is wrong because Li Song’s a boy and not the perfect Onee-sama. Yes. Totally. H-haha. Issei, you’re totally not supposed to be a genki, tomboy girl who pines for Li Song and hopes he notices you, despite all the girls pursuing him. Yep. That’s totes the truth… it… it totally is… You’re the hero of your story!

R-right?

Anyway, back to Allsbane petting a bunny, while worrying about Li!

“Li’s fine. There’s no problems.” For him, but not for you. I-I’m sorry, Allsbane, but CodaXLi is the only route that I could support. Those two are perfect for one another. Like I said, anyone who tries to break them up will die by my hand, before I die by my own hand for committing such an action on their part. No matter how cute you are as a Kouhai, with your admiration, cool demeanor, and hard work, you will never come close, Allsbane. That is a fact. Yes. It totally is. “There’s no need for you to worry, Allsbane. Everything’s okay.”

“Okay. I’m glad then. Li works very hard, so I want to be sure that he’s happy.” NO. NO. NO. You’re supposed to insist on more information, not give a loving, melancholy, and affectionate smile at the mere mention of Li’s happiness, even when you’re not involved. This is wrong! It’s all wrong. Why do you exist, Allsbane!? Why must reality itself laugh at me and test my faith!? CodaXLi is the only way forward, so why do I want to help you now? At this rate, moments before the bell rings for the first class, I’m going to have to fight myself and then kill myself after killing me for being a heretic! I don’t even know how I’ll do that! “Thank you, Issei, for putting me at ease.”

Damn you… Li…why must you have people who care about you and don’t just want you!?

…

I wasn’t stalking Allsbane, but I did have to pay more attention to her. She was a recent addition to Li’s dojo, so I didn’t know her very well, since I had a lot to do. However, the fact remains that I’m relatively well-connected in the school. Well, with all the Otaku, because we all need to stick together. While I had somehow befriended Li, thereby pulling me out of the garbage dump of an existence other Otaku were pushed down into by society, others were not so lucky, and I’m not the sort of guy to laugh at another person’s misery.

I did my best to ward off attention as much as Li’s passive popularity would allow me to, thus I had the respect of my fellow Otaku, who could all enjoy everything in peace, since I was tanking the social damage. It was okay, since Li being my friend meant that I was being passively healed mentally and socially by just hanging out with him, and there were undeniable benefits to having the Otaku population of school at my beck and call.

Besides easy access to tickets and certain circles for certain circle-related materials, I had an information network that Miyakuro hates me for.

Correction: that Miyakuro hates me more for.

So, after a quick call, I picked up a packet from my chief informant Scarlet Demise and Allsbane’s dossier (as a student of our highschool) lay in my hands.

Needless to say, I was more than a little shaken.

Allsbane… was Li’s perfect wife!

Naturally, having just experienced CodaxLi and stayed by his side and seen all the others who vied for him, I recoiled at the thought at first. It made me sick to my core, not only because Coda existed, but because I was sure a war was going to erupt between all the other girls, if they knew what I did.

Allsbane, quite simply, is a Main Character in the type of setting that Li was set in.

As a connoisseur of all forms of manga, I was privy to Shoujo and it was obvious that Allsbane was the diamond-in-the-rough prodigy that was supposed to shoot up to the stars under Li’s tutelage, while the rest of his quirky, strong Dojo supported her. While Masamune, Occisor, and Clarent were all great, there was no denying that Allsbane was a cute kouhai character who lives alone and studies hard for the future, but truly loves going to her dojo and meeting her Li at the end of the school day.

She… she was as blindingly pure and caring as Coda was.

It was supposed to be impossible.

IMPOSSIBLE!

Yet, here it was in my hands, from my most trusted source, facts that couldn’t be denied!

Allsbane is the cute, Kouhai, and main character. Her stats are literally off the scale. She’s skilled in kendo, is a rising star, but has been searching for a teacher who can keep pace with her. Not only that, but her academic excellence is weighed down by the fact that she’s super cute and naïve, since she’s been raised privately and in seclusion, until she heard about Li and decided to transfer to our school.

I can already see the tournament arcs, the romantic arcs, and the fluff arcs happening. It’ll be Allsbane losing her first match, but Li coming to pick her up and tell her to get better. Then, the two of them will lean against one another. Finally, there’ll be times when the two of them interact with the rest of us, but we’re just going to end up supporting them, and everyone’s going to love her… but, what about Coda!?

Coda’s cute. Her past life as a delinquent, which I still can’t believe, ended with her rescue at the hands of Li. They’re living together and they’re perfect domestically. Forget tournament arcs and romantic arcs, it’ll be just fluff for them, with moments of poignant flashbacks to when they first helped one another and propped one another up. It’s a 4-Koma relationship comic that’ll transcend the genre and fill the holes in the hearts of Otaku, making Otaku actually care about real life and try their best, while Allsbane’s story will just have us root for her and tell Circles about her and Li!

How could two correct solutions be possible for one problem!?

It’s obvious that just because one solution is correct doesn’t mean it’s right!

Morally speaking, Coda should be the one supported and loved by Li. It just makes sense. Because of her childhood and past, she deserves all the love and care a girl can possible receive. Allsbane can obviously live a good enough life without Li by her side. There’s no bad end for her if she doesn’t get to be by Li, but Coda’s perfect domestic life will be ruined forever if she doesn’t get Li. That’s terrible. It makes me want to die! It’s so terrible that it makes me want to tell myself to die just for thinking about it!

Guuhhh.

Ahhhh.

Eerrkkk.

Why can’t the world be simple and normal? How do people live in such an imperfect state? The world needs to change… by force, if necessary, because this question deserves a definite answer.

And, if humanity can’t provide that answer, then it must go.

Wait!

Genocide!

That’s it!

Everything makes sense now!

That’s the answer all along!

I needed to talk to Eli about this!

…

“Hey, Eli, I need you to come with me right now!”

“Eh!?”

“So, you do have balls.”

“Quiet, Kita.”

Eli was hanging out with Miyakuro, so it was a forgone conclusion that I was going to get insulted, but Angela’s presence ensured that I was going to be fine. Besides, I did have balls. I was sure that I had balls. Yep, without a doubt, I had balls and this wasn’t a strange dream where I was a boy and Li was going to be with other people. Yeah, this totally isn’t a shoujo AU dream sequence with the love interest being with other people, yep.

But, enough about my assuredness of my current existence, Eli and I needed to be somewhere else!

I couldn’t wait, so I grabbed her hand.

“W-wait, my heart isn’t ready for this sorta thing, there needs to be at least fifteen chapters before this kinda event can happen!” Eli’s insight was profound. She was right. Someone with the problems I had to deal with usually spent time trying to figure out a problem himself first. However, I was already at my wits’ end. I needed to do this now. I needed Eli. So, I insisted and tugged on her hand. Thankfully, she rose up to the occasion! “H-hey, don’t go forcing me to do anything! W-well, you’re n-not really forcing me, but I’m not ready! C-can I go to the bathroom first!?”

“The bathroom can wait, I need you now, Eli!” Coda and Li. Allsbane and Li. Which one was better? Why? How was I supposed to choose? All these questions made me tired and weary. Not only that, but I was feeling dirty for considering one over the other. My heart was split. My sense of right and wrong was warring against itself. I felt absolutely filthy for supporting either side… and not supporting one side over the other. “We’ll both need the bathroom later, anyway!”

“!!!”

Eh?

Why was Eli blushing?

Was she so good at seeing through issues that she already knew the problem I had before I even told her!?

Before I could ask, Miyakuro grabbed me by my collar and pulled me down.

Onto the bench.

Face first.

“Okay, time out. Both you idiots sit down and clarify things, before anything gets out of hand.”

“Thish ishnt sitting!” Ah, my face! It was against a school cafeteria bench! Ah, this must be super dirty! Wait, this is where Eli was just sitting. I’m sorry, Eli! You’re not dirty! You’re my cutest underclassman, I’m sorry for ever offending you! Damn, from how red you are in the face while Miyakuro’s doing this, I’m sure that you know what I just thought about having my face smashed against where you were just sitting! You’re definitely red with anger at me! “Letsh me upsh!”

“Sorry, given how much shit comes out of your mouth, I thought your face was your ass, Hyoudou.”

Hey, why wasn’t Angela stopping Miyakuro from doing this?

“Because, you are being an idiot, Hyoudou-kun.”

How!?

…

“Uhhh, care to repeat that?”

“Elizabeth Ulrich likes you.”

“The more you say it the worse it sounds, old man!”

“Huh.” I had many thoughts about Eli liking me. Many of them were gleeful. She was fun to be around, caring, and kind, even if she liked to play too many pranks. I should be immensely happy about the situation. However, instead, I found myself at impasse. “Okay. Processing that. But, what are we going to do about the Allsbane and Coda problem?”

Eli sighed.

Angela sighed.

Miyakuro laughed.

It was a good time, but I was still worried.

“N-no, I’m really happy about Eli liking me, she’s amazing and great, so I’ll gladly be with her! I just thought it was common sense that I’d say yes to her without hesitation!” I defended my innocence. It seemed to work, since Eli went completely red, but again I didn’t get to appreciate the sight of it. There can only be one reason my body was betraying me in such a way. My soul was weak and still caught up in the troubles I’d found myself mired in. “But, I’m still worried, you know!? This is a big problem, so I can’t celebrate and tell mom to cook red rice, until we finish this up!”

“R-red rice!?”

Oh, right, that’s supposed to celebrate engagements.

…Yeah, I’m not freaking out about it!

What the heck, I need to finish this problem up fast, so I can properly freak out about being a dumbass!

“See! I should be freaking out after saying that, because I’m so excited and happy, but I’m not! I can’t appreciate Eli the way she needs to be appreciated, until I solve this problem, Miyakuro!” I had a girlfriend. A girl who I thought was great, was my friend, and one of the best people I knew. “I should be pinching myself in case I’m dreaming, but here I am worrying! Help me, Miyakuro! You’re my only hope!”

“If I’m your only hope, then you’re fucked, Hyoudou. Especially if you’re asking about romance, as you can see, I’m just doing my best to stay alive around Ioseva and Sasaki.” Stop gloating about your childhood friends and help me, you bastard! “But, it’s obvious your monkey brain can’t comprehend what I’m saying, so I’ll try to give you something, anyway.”

I ignored the insult in favor of paying attention to Miyakuro.

Any advice now was good advice.

I should be going “HNNGH” and crying out in joy at how Eli was so happy at my praising, not worrying about Li’s love life, dammit!

“Let Song handle his love life by himself, idiot. He’s not a child. He’s your best friend, who you’d probably bend over and present for if you were a girl, but you’re a man. I think.” Miyakuro gestured toward me. His gaze was filled with nothing but spite and dismissal. However, without a doubt, he was telling me what he truly thought. It helped Angela was gripping onto his shoulder quite harshly. “Just tell Song about his problems, about who cares about him, and let him handle everything on his own. He can do that. He has a spine and a pair of what people call “balls.””

That…

That…

That… was terrible advice!

“Well, terrible or not, it’s the only way forward. He obviously needs to choose a route and stick to it, y’know? There’s no point in fucking around.” Miyakuro snorted. “Well, there is, but Li’s not the sort of person to do that. Ow. Or me. Or ME! OW! I SAID I WOULDN’T DO IT WOMAN!”

While Angela reigned Miyakuro in, I looked at Eli.

She was blushing, super cute, and amazing, as expected.

Yet, I could only think about Li and Coda and Allsbane.

…Miyakuro was right.

I needed to let this problem solve itself, by telling Song everything.