riSe HiGhsCHool aU: 5

riSe HiGhsCHool aU: 5

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Commissioned by IhaxlikeNoob

Word Count: 2500

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My dear parents, if you can mystically hear the thoughts of your son, please destroy my hardrive if the worst comes to pass. I want to ask Li, but the contents of the drive can never reach him. He is my best friend, and I want him to consider me his best friend even after my death. Thank you very much, my dear parents. For offerings on my alter, please burn pages of shitty isekai instead of incense. 

Anyway, the reason why I’m saying these things is because I’ve been cornered by the Kendo Club.

Primi Sanguinis Occisor. 

Masamune.

Clarent. 

And, finally, Allsbane all looked at me like I was nothing more than garbage. Sure, I’d managed to withstand getting looked at like that by the woman who challenged Li, but getting it from Li’s closest companions was a bit much. C’mon, can’t a guy get SOME respect for knowing the most respected guy in the school? Really? Nothing? Just pure, unadulterated discrimination for me? Well, I can’t really say that I’m surprised, but that really mean, you know!?

“State the truth behind Song-sama’s absence in club, Hyoudou.” Thankfully, Clarent was the spokesperson for all of them. Occisor would just kill me. Allsbane would do the same. Masamune would destroy my mind and spirit. Clarent was actually nice and reasonable to talk to. “If you comply, then your death will be swift and painless.”

It was a nice thought to consider, especially when they have me backed into a corner, while they all had their bamboo swords readied. 

Usually, this is the part of the story where the hero decides to be silent for the sake of his friends, then he’ll be rescued by his friends. Unfortunately, in the currently story, I was sure that I was the mook of the big bad and was just cornered by the Sentai team. Needless to say, my current chances of survival in the current situation was very poor.

“Your opportunity has passed. Only suffering awaits you now. Prepare yourself.”

Nevermind, my current situation was apparently death.

Before I was destroyed to the last scrap of DNA by the power of Li’s swords, the door to the dojo opened, light flooded in, and a familiar face entered the dojo.

It wasn’t Li.

“Oh, you girls caught him, huh? Nice. So, can Tomoe and I take the next round of interrogation? I was all about cornering Li in the lockers today and making him blush, but this guy locked my in a locker and stopped me.” Ai! Why did it have to be her!? Li’s Nee-sama Senpai was smiling, but it was a smile filled with hate and promises of violence. Tomoe stood beside her, for the first time not worriedly looking at her friend, but glaring at me. I made one of the nicest people in school hate me! Oh. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. “Or, if you’re going to kill him, can I join in now? There’s not much space and he’s pretty splippery, but I’m sure that I can keep up with you four… and Tomoe’ll be at the door.”

They all advanced upon me, as I cowered in the corner. 

The spirit was willing, but the body was weak, so I knew that I would spill Li’s secret in the end. However, before that happened, I was at least going to break. Even if I’m going to lose in the end, even if there’s no way that I could possibly win, I’m still going to hold out for a miracle. Maybe, somehow, while I’m being interrogated… I’ll find the strength of will to keep silent about Li. That was enough reason to stay utterly, completely silent.

Naturally, the moment I decided that I was going to be badass, the wall I was leaning against fall back and someone yanked me out of the Dojo.

Thank goodness. 

I was probably only going to last three seconds max.

…

Eli, Saria, Asia, and Rias all loomed over me, much like my former captors, but they lacked the big “MENACING” kanji floating behind them. NO. Their faces were all filled with geunuine concern for my mental and physical well-being. Finally, after all these years, I’ve managed to find people who cared enough for me to risk their lives.

And, Miyakuro, I suppose.

“Fuck you, Hyoudou. I bailed you out because I don’t want to deal with this shit.” Miyakuro waves once, then left. I supposed he told my ONLY FRIENDS what they needed to know to rescue me. “Your ONLY FRIENDS share ONE BRAINCELL. So, thank you for not including me in that group!”

With that last word, he left me with my allies and companions in the school shed. 

“So, not going to lie, I have no clue what’s going on. My Hitler-approved mind-reading powers are on the fritz as to why nearly every scary person in the school hates you… so, care to explain, my dude?” Naturally, Eli spoke up first. She was the one who was the most used to Miyakuro’s presence after me. She crossed her arms, looked at me with warm amber eyes, and grinned worriedly while talking to me. Truly, I could ask for no better Kouhai. “Why do I ask? Because, we’ve got a few baddasses here, but let me tell you the enemy is like if the Soviet Union and the Americans had a baby. They’re better supplied, equipped, and have far more power to throw at us. We kinda need a gameplan with our goal in mind, so we don’t waste a single thing.”

Given my current circumstances of being attacked by women for Li, I should’ve hesitated to tell them anything, because any of them could just be playing the long game for Li’s heart—pfthahahah. Nope. None of them are. I knew them all well enough to say that much, even if they got weird sometimes, I was confident in tat.

So, I told them all just how much trouble we were in.

…

“Wow, so the word’s going to end because a man decided to be monogamous. I’ve gotta admit… I didn’t see that coming. 10/10 would implement in future blitz tactics, if we survive.” I really appreciated the optimism, but after saying all of those things aloud depressed me immensely. Though I was safe, with people I could trust, the enormity of my task hit me like a truck. And, it wasn’t sending me to another world where I’d be a badass and gain a harem, either. “H-hey, there’s no need for any compliments, before we help you! Save the prize for the end of the route, you know!?”

Eh? What? But, I was just telling the truth about how grateful I was—

“I don’t get it, but it sounds like there’s going to be a lot of trouble, which I’m looking forward to!” Saria interrupted my thoughts, as she usually did, by being loud, cheery, and physical. Intruding in my personal space by standing in front of me with mere millimeters of distance between us, the basketball star of the school smirked while jabbing a bandaged thumb at her chest. Which. Was. Touching. Me. “If needed, I’ll even fight Li and this Coda girl to convince them to be different, so that you’ll be safe, Issei! You can count on me!”

My brain was working valiantly to not react to the open-tracksuit, atheletic tomboy without a concept for personal space, and losing against my body’s other desires, but Asia thankfully intervened before my mind was overhwhelmed by Tomboy-power. Unforutnately, since he was wearing a girl’s uniform as he always did, my mind was now fighting against the power of Traps. It was a more subversive and terrible power, especially since the one sending it off was the nicest person to ever be nice, but it was a tough battle nonetheless.

“L-let’s give Issei-kun some space, o-okay? He looks really tired because of today.” Asia, please don’t look at me with those eyes. They remind of the day you confessed to me and I accepted, before I remembered that you were a boy. I’m sorry, but this young man is just a regular young man who is doing his best to remain on his current path. And, that is the path of falling in love with Li—I MEAN GIRLS. GIRLS. YEAH, I LIKE GIRLS. “Why don’t we go somewhere else to talk about this? Someplace where we we don’t have to worry about being found?”

My mind raced for a place where Li’s various pursuers would never search.

Rias’s gaze met my own and we shared the same spark of brilliance.

“I have an idea.” Rias declared to the rest of the group what I could not. However, I placed all of my trust in my companion and partner in life. If there was any place where I could hide and plan, so that tomorrow I could perfectly keep Li away from others before he was ready to handle the situation himself, it would have to be THAT place. A place where no one with pride, consideration of their family, and belief in their futures would go… “We go to a cosplay maid café.”

I looked away from Rias, tears welling in my eyes, as she sacrificed herself for my health and sanity.

“Cousin… that’s pretty gross.” Saria shook her head.

“Uh… I get the logic… but it is pretty gross.” Eli crossed her arms and had to look away.

“So… so depraved…” Asia’s distaste was the worst!

Rias bore the brunt of all that distate with a smile to the untrained eye. However, I could see the true effects of those words upon her, as she presented her hobby to the whole of the world and received only scorn. Though she smiled, as the doorframe to the shed framed her in brilliant light, I could see her true face. She was half dead, her eyes were soulless, and blood seeped from her maw. The amount of damage that Rias took on put her at death’s door… but, there she stood in the doorway to my salavation, ready to lead me towards safety, with a smile and a thumb’s up.

The day will never come when I will ever abandon Rias… for today she saved my life at the cost of her own.

Rest in peace, my otaku, childhood friend.

Rest in peace. 

…

Cosplay maid cafes are the beginning of the end. Otaku who take the first step into a maid café, so that they can pay to simply have a nice, pretty girl wait on them begin a metamorphosis. They have abandoned their humanity, prospects, and pride, so that they can fill a raging, incessant need withint their hearst. Those who own maid cafes prey upon the hearts and minds of others. The maids the serve those who enter seek to take the fortunes of those who will never pass it on. 

Angela, why are you here.

“Miyakuro owns the nation-wide chain. I am training this store’s shift lead.” Angela Ioseva looked upon me with a gaze filled with disinterest and apathy. Her hair was tied up, she wore a French maid uniform, and her bearing was that of the perfect gothic, Lolita maid. I had to restrain myself from prostrating simple due to her presence. “Since you are my friend, I will not treat you like trash, but you receive no discount. Also, you will seat yourselves. Understood?”

We all said yes without thinking.

Rias, literally without thinking, because she was having a busy time drooling and taking pictures.

After taking a seat, I realized that Miyakuro’s maid café was the incarnation of his absolute hatred for humanity. Only his black, dead heart would allow for the creation I laid my eyes upon today. As far as restaurants went, it was a comrotable, warm, and wood-furnished affair. Classy, one might say, but the servers and food were all straight out of fantasy. The food that left the kitchen were grand affairs expected of fantasy worlds, while the servers perfectly hit the spot of cosplay between fantasy and reality.

Like a magician without care for human sanity, he created a world where Otaku will be gouged for every penny they will ever earn. 

So, without a doubt, our safety from the normies was guaranteed here.

I ordered some food, denied anymore service than required, and spoke to my companions while Rias regained some vital life energy. Without hesitation, trusting in my companions utterly, I told them the complete truth of the matter:

I had no idea how to save the current situation.

“W-well, how about we start at what we’re supposed to do first, Issei-kun?” Asia’s inestimable optimism dispelled the gloom I’d accidentally placed over the table. He cleared his throat and smiled, so my wrongdoings were washed away with a faint, yet powerful light that only he could control. Wait, what do you mean I’m just seeing what I want to see? That’s all real! I’m telling you that magic I’m seeing is real! “We need to get things settled down, so that Li-kun can handle things himself. We are simply buying him time, and must only last until then, correct?”

I affirmed that fact, melted a little bit at Asia’s affirming smile, and tried my best to wipe out my memories in the last five seconds. Unfortunately, such power was beyond me and all the Issei’s that have and ever will be. 

“So, we do just that for now, while we figure out better methods and get a firm timetable from Li-Kun.” What? Huh? What are you doing pulling out your phone? Do you expect me to believe that you can extract such a thing from Li? Don’t you know how doing that will make YOU feel? Trying to make Li do anything he doesn’t want to will destroy your soul— “Oh, thank you, Li! I’m very grateful for your answer!” What. How? How did you ask him for something so personal without combusting into flames of self-loathing!? “He will have an answer in three days. So, let us focus on surviving tomorrow, then meeting up after tomorrow for better plans the next two days.”

Saria raised her hand.

“Physical violence shall be considered, but only if necessary, Saria-chan.” Argento spoke, to which Saria replied with a grin and an upraised thumb. He then turned to Eli. “But, Eli-chan, I would like for you and I to go and get supplies for a few pranks later. It will be better for us to be with such implements than without, should matters go utterly sour.”

Eli nodded, then started to speak with Asia about what they would need. 

Just as I was about to try and speak, a large meal set itself before me, and my stomach roared. I hadn’t even realized I was hungry, given how frantic my day was, but now that I had food in front of me…

I looked up to my gathered group of friends and allies, only to meet Asia’s sidelong gaze as she spoke with Eli and Saria. She motioned for me to eat and be patient with one hand, while giving me a sidelong-wink with her eye—

Wait… SHE.

I… I must be more hungry and stressed than I thought I was to forget something so obvious.

Ahahah.

Aha.

Ha...

Right?