Sword Side Stories: Primi Sanguinis Occisor: Advent

Sword Side Stories: Primi Sanguinis Occisor: Advent

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Commissioned by Citino

Wordcount: 2500

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I did not know why I was unhappy.

Finally, the day had come when Li could truly be appreciated by humanity. The Aspect of Destruction has arrived alongside the Chimera. The whole world looked to him for aid that he was willing to give, thus he would be properly praised by all of humanity for his actions. Humanity will know what he protects them from, even as they seek to protect themselves with their own power, thus Li shall be praised and respected by peoples who are themselves admirable and capable! 

Thus, I should be happy.

Yet, I am not.

Instead I wish that everything could be different, even though Li wouldn’t need to be praised.

The Cradle is different now. The streets are quieter and there are fewer smiling faces. Many shops are closed, fewer vehicles fly through the air, and there’s less joy on the viewing screens. Everywhere, all there is talk about is humanity’s call to arms against a deadly foe that vanquished those who chose to fight, so that others did not have to.  The false sun was obscured by clouds and rain fell within the Arcology, as though those who created the weather within humanity’s paradise could not bear the thought of a cheerful, sunny day. 

It would be too easy to say that I was unhappy because the humans were sad, but that is not the case. Looking deeply into my heart, I viewed them as individuals who should be protected because Li thought the same. I am a sword. I am Primi Sanguinis Occisor. My purpose is be used to attack Li’s enemies, whoever and whatever they might be, and so I should feel no sorrow over humanity’s loss. They are not enemies and they are protected by Li Song, so I should protect them, but that did not mean I should care for them.

I am unlike Masamune. 

The dark-haired, graceful Japanese blade has interacted with many humans over her entire history. The days when she was wielded in battle are less than the days she spent being revered as a treasure. Her anger at Destruction, how she engraved into her memory the actions of Destruction and swore restitution, was to be expected of her. She is kind, capable, and cultured in the ways of humanity, unlike me.

Neither am I like Clarent. 

The ceremonial greatsword was created to be a symbol of peace in times long lost. I understood that she was never meant to be wielded in battle, as a symbol of a kingdom’s ability to wage war, and their choice to instead pursue peace. Then, she was taken by a betrayer, used as a weapon through the ages, as she wished to merely never be wielded again. Her whole purpose is to be a symbol of peace; thus, she understands humanity more than I ever could, and her tears and refusal to allow the calamity to reach earth and humanity is understandable. 

I should be like Allsbane. 

The sword of kings, humanity’s first attempt to overcome everything that stood in their path, is the sword I am the most similar to. She and I are meant to destroy the enemies of our wielders, to feel no compassion in our duties, and to be the perfect weapons. Though the paths we walk are different in that goal, the fact remains that those paths are in parallel, and so we should be similar. I should be like her, gathering information on the enemy and taking the losses in stride, so that I can serve Li better in the upcoming battle. 

Instead I feel worry and anger as Masamune and Clarent do.

Why was this?

I did not know.

However, I knew Li did.

…

I could not find Li, because our home was in a state of organized chaos. Many people I did not know were everywhere, creating and fixing things, as the servants were laid on the floor resting. Their hearts and minds were elsewhere, being tinkered over to create the armor necessary for others to fight against Destruction. I spoke with them while they were being installed into smaller things, but since they could not do their normal duties, they did not know where Li was.

But they thanked me for talking to them, before I left to find others, and when I heard their words I felt worried that they wouldn’t return.

Strange. 

They were servants and warriors. If they died in battle, I should praise them for their contribution to Li’s victory. It was expected of them to fight, to give their lives, and be a sword such as I, yet as I walked away from them, I almost wanted to tell the craftsmen to stop and take the hearts and minds of other homunculi instead of those we spoke to and helped us every day.

It was difficult to be quiet and move onward while pushing down those thoughts. 

Elizabeth Ulrich was the next person I found amongst the chaos. She was being outfitted while debriefing technicians regarding the abilities of Destruction. It was difficult for her to talk about what she experienced, about the time it took for the front to fall and for her to nearly die, but she stayed strong and spoke and answered all the questions she could. Even though she worried about Hyoudou Issei, who she cared for and who saved her life, she answered their questions briskly as she was dressed and garbed in armor that would allow her to return to the battlefield in which she nearly died. 

I had to avoid her, even though she probably knew where Li was, because I knew that if I entered the room where she was being interrogated and dressed for battle… I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from whisking her away to somewhere she didn’t have to be strong.

Something I should never even consider, but I knew I would, so I left to find another to aid me.  

I went onward, amidst the chaos that overcome the order of our home, until I could not go on anymore. 

My feet walked until I found myself in Li’s room. It was quiet and dark, but familiar and natural, unlike the world behind the door. Within its walls, inside the protection that it offered, it felt like I could breathe again, though such things weren’t necessary to me and I hadn’t noticed Id even stopped. However, along with the return of my ability to breathe, came incessant questions that were drowned out by the incessant noise and activity within the tower.

Why did I feel this way? How could I have become like this? Should I not be better than this? My heart pounded within my chest, it was difficult to speak, and something ached within me. It was sorrow. I was sure that it was. I’d felt it before many times. However, I could not let it out, since I did not understand it. As a sword, my purpose is to be a weapon used to kill and destroy the foes of my wielder. Nothing more and nothing less. That is what I am, even with the body I now have, it is the core of my whole existence.

Did I change?

And, if so, did my changes effect my ability to harm Li’s enemies?

Did I become like Masamune and Clarent, wielding esoteric and different abilities, instead of being like Allsbane? If such was the case, then was I now a liability to Li? Could I fight against Destruction if something intrinsic about me change? Was it possible that I could lose the talents required to me by Li and humanity?

The questions… were things I never worried about before. They were things I knew that I should barely care about. Inane, insipid questions about my capabilities that had no place in my heart. Yet, there used to only by Li in my heart, but I am now driven to near tears and worry for humans I have never met before. I hadn’t failed them. There was no chance for me to fight for them. The fault was not mine. It was an attack by an enemy that will be rebuffed and destroyed by me. The opportunity to stop it was never offered to me… however I still regretted not being able to do something so much that it hurt. 

Logically, then, it is right to fear that I have changed for the worse. I

n the hour I am needed the most, I have changed and become different from what I am supposed to be. 

How could I possibly not fear such a thought and want Li to comfort me?

But instead of searching for him, as I should, I sat against the door of his room and didn’t search for him nor contact him.

I did not know in the slightest what to do with myself for the first time.

And, I hated the fact that all I could do was try to find meaning behind everything I felt alone. 

…

Somehow, I fell asleep as I worried, but when I awoke I found myself laying next to Li. He was not asleep, but instead looking upward the ceiling. He must have known immediately that I awoke, but he did not address me. He waited for me, after finding me, while the rest of the world was too busy. Despite all his responsibilities and obligations, while the only other person in his Tribe was lost, he spared time for me. 

He shouldn’t have had too.

I should’ve been stronger.

However, I heard no such words from him and felt only patience and understanding as we lay together in his bed. He did not resist as I took his arm and held it against my heart, saying not a single word as he merely accepted my decision, and stayed silent and steadfast as I tried to find the words I wished to say. The questions, as I held onto him, weren’t an endless, terrifying torrent this time. Each one came slowly, and I found them easy to answer, until there came those which I wanted to ask Li… and amongst them there was only one that I felt that I needed to ask this instant.

“Could I have done something to stop it?” 

“No.” The answer was immediate. Many would try to argue it. Perhaps, even amongst the Preservers, there would be words regarding his priorities. What if he spared us in his journey, told us to fight against the Chimera, while he did what he needed to do without our help? Against Destruction, due to our very nature, we could have the bulwark that stopped the deaths of all those brave men and women. These thoughts, which I couldn’t bring forth without him present, all but presented themselves to me once in his calming presence. “You couldn’t have. You were with me, Primi.”

“Should I have thought to tell you that?” 

“It didn’t cross your mind. Nor Clarent’s, Masamune’s, or Allsbane’s. So, you couldn’t have.” Again, another answer to a question that I didn’t even consider, as I held onto Li’s arm. They were coming forth, my concerns and worries about my status, my power, and ability, even though I wanted to keep some of them hidden away and within my heart. In his presence, though I could think clearly, I couldn’t help but confess everything that I could. “Primi, not even those who could predict the future knew what was coming. Everyone believed that the Chimera were being beaten back.”

I had another question.

Another selfishness that I wanted him to appease, yet instead another question left my lips entirely.

“Are you okay, Li?”

“…No.” This time the answer was not immediate. He hesitated and pain crossed his features, but this time he met my gaze instead of keeping his eyes toward the silent ceiling. Instead of the indomitable, unbreakable assurance he radiated in the presence of others in these trying times, I saw pain, sorrow, and guilt that went beyond me. Everything I felt and regretted about not doing more… he felt tenfold. My problems became completely, utterly insignificant at that moment, thus I let go of his arm, embraced him, and gave him my shoulder as his arms embraced me back. “I am not.”

He didn’t need to explain.

There was no need for anymore words.

The world outside and my own concerns could wait. 

I needed to care for Li. 

…

Miyakuro arrived before me clad in divine regalia with Gungnir by his side. 

“Not bad for a weapon of mass destruction.” It was strange to hear the advisor’s words through a faceless, sheer helm bereft, but I grew accustomed to it readily. Of all the Preservers, he was the one whom I entrusted the most to for he was Li’s closest friend amongst them. “And, naturally, there’s not a hint of jealousy in you after he gets a new sword that’s also better than you.”

It was a strange statement to make. Why would I fret about Li getting more blades, especially my one-and-only-sister? There would be no finer blade to fight beside than the one meant to make up for my weaknesses. 

“It was a hint, numbskull. You might feel that way, but not the others. Allsbane, especially.” Miyakuro harangued me mercilessly, doing his duty as an adviser. “Share that chaste, pure crap you shared with Li with the rest of the Swords, so it at least doesn’t affect the coming battle.” He nodded at me as I stood up immediately. His words were logical. My fellow Swords confided in me all their frets and worries, especially if Masamune cannot ail their spirits… and Masamune naturally needed someone to speak to as well. I will go to them and do as my friend says. “Yeah. Good. You do that. I want that Fang on the field to fuck over Destruction yesterday.”

With those words, he turned on his armored heel and began to walk to the rest of the Preservers. 

But before he could go, I called out to him.

“Thank you for telling Li to find me, Miyakuro-kun.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep our relationship professional like you always do and I’ll help you out whenever. Honestly, you’re the one person in this group that gives me the respect I deserve.” He didn’t look back as he said his words. Neither did he wave in acknowledgement. All he did was simply keep walking ahead, even though he relieved me of all my worries while helping my dearest person at the same time. “Make sure that new Sword never leaves Song’s side. He’s the only person I’ll ever fucking trust to not fuck up with that power.”

“And, you don’t want him to know you said that.”

“Bingo, you blonde bimbo. Thanks for using those two braincells not dedicated to Li.” This time he spared me a nod and two-fingered salute. Gugnir scoffed at his actions. However, while she looked away from him, I noticed the half-hearted glare she sent my way. I could speak much about how she treated her master, but her devotion was unquestionable. “See ya later.”

After he melded into the crowds to do what he needed to do, I did the same and headed to care for my sisters in battle.

We shall perform perfectly in this battle as we always do.

And, we shall all return and celebrate together with Li.

That is how it always is and how it always shall be.