Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 27

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 27

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Shaderic

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On one hand, having Undead soldiers would be great.

On the other hand, the difference between being a slave-master and a commander of undead legions is very, very thin. 

While under most circumstances, I’m willing to do just about anything to fuck over the Empire in any shape, way, or form, I’ll have to put a resounding refusal to the concept of drowning them in Undead hordes. 

Why? 

Well, first and foremost, I’d rather die than be compared to the Empire by anyone and have that person be even slightly right. Killing people, so I could use their bodies as fodder against the Empire, is practically the same thing as what’s the Empire doing with a few, complicated steps removed and more added. As fond as I am about the notion that anything is permitted when it comes to turning the Empire into molten slag, a man has to at least draw the line at anything resembling the reason why he’s committed his life towards destroying an entire nation-state.

Secondly, it didn’t work the last time the Kindred tried it, so it’ll most likely a waste of time.

The Empire is inherently a nation-state of fanatics of beautiful superhumans. The average foot soldier is beefy enough to be a Volume of Jojo, while the women are all graceful, lithe beauties that can snap necks and throw knives like no one’s business. Zombies are a severe downgrade, being rotten corpses of superhumans without whatever bullshit magic they have coursing through them. Zombies are decent if they have a Lich around, so that they could get some of the oomph back that they used to have, but Henri managed around a few dozen and barely managed to make herself too much trouble for a local, Empire garrison to bother with, while she made something better. 

No, in the end, the only thing to do with all the bodies of the Adventurers who worked for the Empire and died was to put throw them into a ditch, set it on fire, and maybe see if the offers would attract the attention of a Demon or two.

What?

I said I’m against using undead slavery against regular slavery.

Making contracts with Demons and/or Devils is another story, especially when I have so many bodies lying around. It’d be rude to not do use all the resources I had at my disposal, even if that resource used to be an individual who benefitted off of the enslavement of other human beings, but still decided that they’d go and fight for fame and glory.

I mean, if the whole affair doesn’t work, I’ll just be making sure that’s properly taking care of corpses. If it does work, I get to meet a Demon that I might be able to get power from, which I can use against the Empire without worrying about having undead slaves. 

Either way, it’s an absolute victory for Hachiman!

Naturally, since I was in a good mood over the entire affair, watching the bodies of hapless, indoctrinated individuals get offered to supernatural creatures abhorred by the Empire, Kurama decided to arrive with some bad news.

Dammit.

Can’t a man make a deal with a Devil in peace?

…

After weeks of trying to get a handle of my marital situation, with Kurama being unperturbed time and time again with whatever I asked her, I was finally doing the one thing that Hikigaya Hachiman is meant to do: cause untold misery to befall the Empire.

“A smile? At the possibility that slaves will be marched into your lands? Would you care to explain yourself, Hachiman?” Being the bearer of bad news, Kurama was being more polite. She called Ylstu mine and wasn’t wearing an outfit designed to draw my eye. The Shrine Maiden ripoff outfit she used for combat “only” had hip vents that clarified she was wearing her current clothes in the traditional manner. Much better than her usual, barely-anything wear around the house. “To both myself and Sayuri, this current threat is quite troublesome, especially given your theories regarding the slaves.”

Of course, I drew up several ways and methods that the Empire would utilize their superhuman, unfeeling automatons. 

Outside of Ylstu, it’s likely that only Roseanne read it, but in Ylstu I declared it required reading for anyone in a position of power. Well, except for Ashe. I had to read it to her, while she repeated the information back to me like a good, diligent soldier who worked solely for headpats and food, but could also turn a good portion of Ylstu into a burning inferno. 

But that’s beside the point.

What matters is the fact that the Empire wouldn’t be below booby-trapping their slaves, even if their soldiers would properly refuse. Given the usual Kindred tactics of kidnapping men, risking their lives in combat to simply get some dick, suicide bombers would normally be an unwelcome, frightening surprise for the Kindred. It’s also exactly the sort of thing the Empire would do, since they’re slowly, but surely doing away with their façade of morality. 

The slaves are just the first wave of the depravities that the Empire would inflict upon the Kindred. Unfortunately for them (not), they were going down into a level in which I had far, far more experience in fighting at. Enough experience to know just what it takes for prideful, dumb idiots to resort to such tactics, regardless of the consequences.

“I’m happy, because the Empire’s committing more than they should into fighting me, instead of everyone else.” The Ysltu valley and surrounding mountain ranges is a critical area in the fight between the Empire and the Kindred. People have fought, lived, and died on it for centuries, desperately trying to claim, so that a staging point with natural defenses could be created to strike against the other side. That’s what I’m using it for now, and I’m sure every general in either side would use it the same way. Thankfully, though, I’ve become so notorious that EVERY empire general thinks I need to be dislodged from my position now, through whatever means necessary, and it’s fantastic. “This force they’re sending my way? It’s meant to end Ylstu as a threat forever. It’s a guaranteed shot. Therefore, that means that they’ve taken power from other places. Places we can hit, while their soldiers are way with bombs that we already planned to use.”

“If we cannot fight them on their terms, then change the terms.” Kurama’s undead retainer took a step forward. Her name was Sayuri. As far as capable warriors went, the Onimusha was probably the only one in town that can take Ur on in a straight fight. Not that either would fight each other fairly. I taught Ur better than that, while the undead samurai covered in skulls of former foes, had enough experience to know better. Anyway, she had a decent brain between her purple ears. She knew that there’s limited ways to win, but an infinite number of ways to lose. “The “deep strike” tactics that you’ve been developing… they can be implemented now that our previous plan can’t work. We can destabilize the Empire’s entire frontline, thus force them to withdraw and attack us with lesser force, or lose ground that they’ve cultivated and rely upon.”

Yep, in the face of overwhelming numbers, the right answer is to destroy the enemy’s ability to fight effectively first. Japan attempted to do so with Pearl Harbor, but didn’t have the manpower, resources, infrastructure, and fleet to follow-up on the assault. The Germans managed to take Poland with paratroopers taking key junctures, then following up the assault with mechanized infantry. Therefore, of those two courses of action, I should base my tactics off of the Germans, because their battles won them Europe. 

However, just like a certain, reincarnated salaryman, I intended to use the ideas that came after the second world war, so that I could stay ahead of the game.

The Empire aren’t a bunch of fools. They’ll know that they’re draining their resources and leaving other areas exposed, so they’ll create stationary defenses, so that the troops that the troops they leave behind can hold fast, while their new army accomplishes their offensives. Shoring up weaknesses, playing to your strengths, and planning for the worst, possible outcome is just how war is supposed to be played. And, if you follow those rules, you’ll be able to succeed… until someone comes up with something far worse than you’ve ever planned for.

So, the finger I laid on the map wasn’t anywhere close to the frontline of the Empire, but the logistical nerve center that supported their entire front. 

Arundel.

The heart that fed blood, bodies, and weapons from the core of the Empire into its extremities, situated on a river system that’s been cultivated by the Empire for centuries through magic. It was how they shipped back Kindred to their secure cities to be processed, how they moved and armed armies rapidly through their true territory, and arguably the most well-protected city they have. So, well-protected that it has never fallen, and has always been the bastion of the Empire’s innermost cities, even when the lost their frontmost territories time and time again. 

It is a city where Demon Lords have died again and again. 

But, if I’m going to stop an entire army from flooding into my territory, then it’s the only possible option. 

“That is… it would be suicidal to attack that with an army, but with the army that you have at your disposal and how high they fly.” Sayuri leaned forward over the map. Kurama gave her military adviser space, while she simply listened. It was just the three of us in the command room this time. Well, except for the Kunoichi, but I decided long ago to just ignore them, unless absolutely necessary. “But, even with your explosives, you will not make Arundel fall. It has withstood the attacks of Demon Lords. Time and time again, even against the greatest magics of the Kindred, that blight remained standing.”

“It did against magic, but how will it do against some of the that water the Empire’s stored up, coming at it all at once?” Behind Arundel, known only to the Kindred due to the slaves that they managed to liberate, were a series of dams and locks that kept vast reserves of water that could be unleashed and guided by the Empire’s mages to ensure their supply routes would flow even in the harshest of droughts. There are many reservoirs, since the river they harnessed once stretched across the entire continent, but they took it all. I figure it’s about time the Kindred used some of that water themselves. “What will happen to all those riverboats, warehouses, and people in a giant, stone city with massive walls and gates, when their sewers burst, and water starts rising beneath their feet?”

Even if Arundel’s walls hold, its foundation wont, especially with the Empire’s preferences towards tunnels and underground shelters. And, if my plan to either flood or sink the city don’t work, well… the deluge of water flowing through the river-plains that Arundel sat upon wasn’t going to come out unscathed. Ships wouldn’t be able to reach the frontier from the innermost parts of the Empire. The armies that they have in sparsely-cultivated, ablative regions will starve from lack of food, equipment, and manpower. 

And, that’s just with one reservoir cracked.

“If one’s not enough, I can crack three, or maybe even six. I can flood their entire Frontier, because we can reach behind their last line of defense.” I can’t help the smile that creeps on my face. This was a plan I’d thought I’d wait for years to see. However, the Empire has “forced” my hand with how they’ve decided to threaten Ylstu. I have no choice, besides to drown their frontier in all the water they’ve stolen and butchered Kindred bodies for. You hear that? I’m not doing this because it’s how they delivered me and hundreds of thousands of others to the front, on our backs, and stuffed into rows and rows. It’s because the Empire left me no choice. “What do you think, Sayuri? Is six enough? Or should I go for more? Ten? A dozen? Two dozen? Where should I think about stopping?”

Hm? What’s this silence I’m getting from my two onlookers? 

Ah, right.

The little, happy smile that I had on my face, because after months and months of waiting, I was finally getting what I wanted. I’m not building something barely connected to my end goal, like a dorm that’ll house workers and soldiers, but actually attacking the Empire. Nor am I getting kidnapped and miraculously managing to escape with a n Empire noble’s cape on my shoulders and riding his horse towards rescuers. And, finally, I’m not just defending my territory by making patrols that clean up Adventurers.

After all these years, I’m on the attack.

…

I expected Tanis to tell me not to do it.

After all, the action I’m taking is more than just simply defending my territory. Roseanne’s refusal to provide me with a military told me all that I needed to know about the Demon Lord’s thoughts on war. She was taking the smart approach, letting the Empire kill itself on her terms, while sending in troops filled with people she can’t control. Whenever pressure mounted on her to attack, she simply sent troops in to act as a release, and take some land and men back in exchange for lives.

Therefore, my white-scaled, bespectacled, and intelligent secretary should speak up and speak on Roseanne’s behalf. 

Instead she stood at the entrance to the clearing, where my Amazons, Harpies, and Wyverns waited laden for a long trip, and enough explosives to collapse the side of a mountain. Naturally, since she was saying nothing, I didn’t press my luck and moved forward.

However, before I could walk past her, she said something with a bow that stopped me in my tracks, before slithering away.

“Come back safely, Hachiman. Thank you for protecting us, and shouldering the burden of this act of aggression.”

That was patently untrue. 

I wasn’t doing this to protect Ylstu. I’m not riding off into the night, with my most trusted retainers, because I wanted to. Leaving behind Ashe, her werewolves, and the Kunoichi is a strategic move. Less people meant I could carry more explosives, and the Kunoichi weren’t to be trusted, while Ashe didn’t know a think about stealth. 

All that I’m doing now is taking a fraction of what I’m owed. I’m leaving to cause untold misery upon the Empire, because I finally have the excuse to do so, after months and months. This is the first time I have the cause, the resources, and the equipment necessary to do more than tickle the Empire. So, now that I can, I’m using it all to kill as many Empire citizens and soldiers living off of the deaths, blood, and bones of Kindred and kidnapped, human beings. 

I hate that it’s taken this long for this opportunity to arrive. 

I hate that I could only do this now.

I hate that I can only kill other people now.

I hate everything in this shitty world filled with people who are just exaggerated fetishes given personalities.  

So, I can’t possibly be doing this for anyone else, besides myself. 

Therefore, without a doubt, I didn’t deserve the words Tanis sent my way in the slightest.