Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 30

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 30

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Sivantic

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There’s no getting used to violence. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a psychopath who should get their brain checked.

Either by a therapist or a rock. 

I don’t judge. 

So, naturally, even with the glee of ending an Empire strike force, I felt sick looking upon the fortress.

The entirety of the fortress constructed by Isekai-kun was a mass of rubble, spilled blood, and burnt flesh. Bodies, or parts of bodies, were strewn in every direction. Shrapnel covered corpses lay beside piles of pulverized innards, muscle, and bone, in the wake of the assault that I’d launched. It was the natural result of an airstrike on a small, compact hard target being struck by a massive, explosive projectile.

If it were open, wider, and the people within more spread out, my plan wouldn’t have worked… but it wouldn’t have protected nearly as well against Ur and the others. 

In the end, victory was mine, and I was seeing it through. 

Now, the Amazons were going about ending the lives of those unfortunate enough to survive, while we waited for the Wyverns and Harpies to ferry back the rest of the transports. More than a few unfortunate individuals were half-dead beneath piles of rubble, or closer with their armor than any living creature should ever be, and each one was granted a swift, merciful death. They were bastards born off the backs of slaves, who fought for a society that lived off of suffering, but death is death.

Once they’re gone, as long as they don’t come back, I don’t care about them anymore. 

So, I observed as they were thrown into a mass grave, so that they could be set alight and not return.

Just as I did for everyone I could, because fuck giving either the Kindred or the Empire more troops and resources, if I had the excuse to do so.

Unfortunately for me, the sight of me looking over the pit was familiar enough for a certain somebody to approach me.

“You look like shit.” I didn’t bother turning to look at her, since I could smell her just fine. She’d been fighting for two days and was covered in blood and muck. Ur told me, ever since my escape, that Little-Miss-Traitor had been focused on fighting and trying to save people who were going to be made into lobotomized shock troops. How nice. She gets to be right, to continue believing in the Empire, and just claim that only a select group of people is wrong instead of the entire society. “Here to say goodbye to a few friends?”

A passing Amazon hit me in the back of the head after that particular phrase and glared at me when I turned to look at her. 

Sheesh. 

It’s like everyone’s forgotten that Reiser’s an untrustworthy bitch besides me. Ur made her point, and I’d listened, but I disagree. Not enough to kill Reiser on sight, since she was not leading groups of important assets of the Empire to their doom, but not nearly enough to trust her as much as the Amazons did.

They’re warriors and soldiers. Honorable people who see someone fighting beside them on the battlefield and think that person is good, as long as they’re fighting against the same enemy. But that isn’t all there is to a person. There’s more to everyone than just what they are on the battlefield. Who someone is, what they do, depends on what they do outside of the battlefield too—

Why are you kneeling and offering me your sword?

“Teacher… please forgive me for not heeding your words!” Reiser was on one knee before me, inches away from the precipice filled with dead Imperial soldiers, and offered her sword to me with two, trembling gauntleted hands. She wore plate armor covered in dirt, damage, and detritus from numerous battles. There were bags beneath her eyes, tiny scars from close calls, and her breathing unsteady. Even without any open wounds, she was a walking casualty due to fatigue, but was apparently a big enough idiot to try shit like this instead of doing something for herself. “My actions were wrong, but please forgive—

“You haven’t learned a fucking thing! Look at you, you’re mess that still not using your fucking brain!” This fucking, STUPID idiot. Thinking with honor, justice, and other bullshit. Where’d that get you the first time, huh? That’s right. It led you straight out of doing the right thing, because you thought the Empire was honest and decent. Now that you find out that’s wrong, you just go try to find someone else that you think is right and decent!? How much of an idiot are you, Reiser!? “I told you to start thinking, and when you do, you just start fighting until someone shows up to tell you what to do again?”

“That… that’s not what I’m doing…”

“Yes. Yes, it is. After you’ve finally found your brain, started to choose for yourself, and do something with your own life out of your own volition, you give up the moment you get the opportunity.” I batted aside the stupid sign of fealty and pulled Reiser to her feet. She was heavy, being a fucking superhuman clad in enchanted armor would do that, but I managed, even if it was difficult as hell. For the sake of getting through to her thick skull, a little muscle pain is a small price to pay. “Ur spoke up for you. She said that you changed. That you’re more than just a piece of meat that walks around killing people you’re told to kill. She thinks that you can actually think and not just blindly follow rules… but here you are just being honorable and noble, because it’s easier to not fucking think!”

A semblance of comprehension appeared in her tired eyes, something that told me that I was activating a rarely-used, malnourished organ within Reiser’s skull. 

“I’m not going to forgive the Reiser I knew. She’s a traitorous, stupid bitch who cares only about shit that makes her easy to use and kill with. So, if you want to apologize, you better do it as the person Ur’s making you out to be.” 

I didn’t have anything else besides that to say.

At least, nothing that wouldn’t shit all over what Ur wanted.

So, I left her to watch the grave burn, because she’s perfectly fine with watching people die.

…

Ur approached me while the Harpies patrolled the skies, and as everyone else got to work putting together the remaining, two transports. Some of the Wyverns without a transport to lug around were looking for something to carry the Amazonian equipment in, but I wasn’t holding my breath. Isekai-kun dragged in his supply chain into the fort, so the various wagons and tent tarps burned. At the very least, they could carry the weapons back with them, so I’d only have to pay for new, reverse-swimsuit armor

Maybe I’ll be lucky and just have to re-armor three fourths of my shock troops, if the Wyverns manage to put something together, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath. Fire and general lack of intelligence didn’t work together very well in regards to scavenging.  The second one will be worked on in the future, but there was nothing I could do about the former.

“Hachiman, thank you for saving my life, as well as resuming your role as Reiser’s teacher.”

“Huh? Wait a minute. You owe me for saving your life, but being Reiser’s teacher again? I’d rather die. Repeatedly. Did you hit your head or something?” 

I looked Ur over.

Nope.

No wounds.

Just a slightly dirty, tan tomboy with raggedy, short hair clad in fantasy armor.

Much like all the Amazons, she didn’t encounter anyone capable of fucking with her. And, when there was the possibility of such a thing happening, they drew back, entrenched themselves, and waited for orders or reinforcements.

There were a few scratches here and there, but given their training, natural constitution, and access to healing? Those basically didn’t matter. The one they sent my way to relay the message only had injuries because none of us who came to the rescue could heal anyone. The Wyverns that got hit and pinned down, after encountering Isekai-kun’s forces, were healed up and ready to fly again by the time I’d committed the first act of terrorism this world’s ever seen. 

“Hachiman… you need to be honest with yourself in this regard. You’ll only hamper her, if you choose to ignore what you’re doing.” Ur shook her head slowly and sighed. This time, unlike mere hours ago in the cave, her gaze wasn’t firm. Instead it was filled with concern. She was begging me to do something. It felt wrong. “Both you and I know that her newfound freedom and maturity needs to be trained by the both of us. Not just you. Nor just I. Both of us.”

I looked over to where Reiser was.

The Amazons dragged her over with them, so that she could be cleaned. Her armor was worthless, so it was already ditched. She wore simple, white tunic and trousers, and the faintest smile was on her face as she listened and exchanged stories with old friends. 

While everyone she left behind to die couldn’t.

“Hachiman.” Ur grabbed my hand and drew my attention back to her. When I looked at her, I realized how my hand clenched into a fist and how my teeth ached from how I ground them. It took me a moment, as she stayed close and held onto my hand, before I managed to push down the burning, blistering hate I felt. “You feel as you do, because you trusted her. I did as well. And, she did betray us. However, you need to consider your own words. That Reiser is no more. We have another with us. One who has seen the Empire for what it is and chose to fight against it.”

“Forgiveness is earned, Ur.” I needed to think clearly, and to go past the haze of violence that I normally accepted with welcome arms. The young, blonde woman sitting amongst the Amazons wasn’t the Reiser I knew. She wasn’t the girl who’d smiled and embraced me, when she told me that she was finally going to be a hero of the Empire, nor was she the single-minded creature that wanted to enslave me again. The girl I looked at was tired, with slumped shoulders, and eyes that could barely stay open… and who flinched in shame whenever a Kindred neared her. “And, she has a lot to earn.”

“She will, but she can’t earn it if you don’t let her. I know that I’m asking much of you, but you must become her teacher again… for all our sakes.” Ur turned to stand by my side. She was worried enough about my mania that she didn’t let go of my hand, as we both looked upon the hive of activity that became of the fortress. “Even if the two of you only have half the relations you used to have, then I believe that you both will be better for it.”

Half.

Half of what our relationship used to be.

The more I tried to think about it, the more I pain it drew up. Every moment I’d spent with Reiser, every little moment of progress we’d made together, and the victories we shared are all tainted by deaths of people who didn’t need to die. 

Ur had a point. 

Reiser wore a collar just like the rest of us. She’d been a slave, a creature that could only follow orders, up until her faith in the Empire broke when they began using their own citizens as disposal troops. Until then, she had no path besides the one given to her by the Empire, while people who I’d kept safe and secure died all around me, because she was told by her masters to leave us behind to die.

But that Reiser is gone, and with me now is girl with power, skills, and abilities that needed to be refined into something that can hurt the Empire. A girl that the Empire sent one of their finest assets against, because she waged a one-woman war against the Empire in their own backyard. Someone who evaded capture for weeks, while inciting rebellions, and garnering support until the metaphorical hammer came crashing down upon her and her fellows, until only she remained… still willing to fight to the last breath.

And, I’m a man who had a province to protect.

At the very least, I had to give her a chance, because she could protect Ylstu.

But… I could trust her without a little verification.

…

“You’re going to pull the thread, if you don’t, Sophitelle’s going to and drop you as high as she could.” 

Ur had protested against my decision, but a simple argument shut her up.

‘Even if you trust her, I don’t, and neither will the Kindred, unless she does something worth trusting her for.’

So, as we were all set to enter the two transports to head back home, I assigned the Wyvern who’d carried the most, the fastest and farthest, to assist me in proving that Reiser was one of us. Instead of Ur, or one of the Wyverns, pulling the spool of Drider Silk that would remotely detonate the satchels that would blow apart the fourth dam that would cripple the Empire’s supply lines, Reiser was going to do it.

Or, free-fall to her death and/or choke in the upper-atmosphere. 

“Do you understand?”

“I do.”

“Good. Now, go.”

Ur glared at me, as the Wyvern’s wings beat and dragged Reiser up into the sky, while we boarded the transports. She didn’t notice, but she was the only one looking my way. Everyone was looking at Reiser, every single Wyvern and Harpy, as well as Ur’s own Amazons. A Knight of the Empire being corrupted and turned into Kindred is one thing, as well as being a slave that’s turned against the Empire, but one that’s still human dealing an immense, grievous blow against the Empire with her own hands?

The anticipation surrounding the question was going to engrave itself into the minds of everyone present, until they received their answer. 

Ur already knew the answer and glared at me, because she thought it was a waste of time, an unnecessary risk, and utterly childish.

I knew the answer the moment I gave the spool of thread to Reiser. The moment it left my hands and go to hers, I knew she was going to pull it. 

But everyone else will remember this moment… and at least make sure that Reiser’s throat doesn’t get slit in the middle of the night. 

It was a small step for me. 

The slightest, fraction of a guarantee that Reiser wasn’t going to betray us again.

For everyone else though, even Ur, it was going to lay their doubts about her completely.

But not me.

Never for me.

No matter what we used to have.