Somehow, the Countryside is Different: 10

Somehow, the Countryside is Different: 10

…

Commissioned by Sivantic

Wordcount: 2500

…

Surprisingly, Reimu and Marisa didn’t murder each other while I was asleep, and the Chuuni Witch looked over me for any signs of magic, while I was preparing breakfast. Miso soup, grilled fish, and rice was my preference, but our host’s larder didn’t have any of the three, so toast, eggs, and bacon had to make do. How Americans could eat such heavy meals everyday and not feel lethargic, because modern lifestyles didn’t need a farmer’s breakfast every day, I didn’t know.

For once, though, I appreciated change, since Reimu and I had a long day ahead of us. 

Or, so I thought, since I didn’t think that the Chuuni Witch was going to discover anything, especially since she decided to ‘do her thing” while I was cooking breakfast.

“Oi, what the heck? This guy’s freaking covered in magic!” Wearing plain, white pajamas, Marisa’s hair was a shaggy mess to which a hairbrush was stuck, and she’d clambered out of her room with a yawn and scratching her side when she’d declared she was going to help me. Reimu was waiting at the table, helping herself to some fruit, and barely paid the witch any notice when she’d declared her intention. Well, before she overturned the diagnosis we’d received yesterday. Now, Reimu was beside her, crowding me against the stove. Oi. Watch it. “It’s yours, Reimu! That’s why you or anyone else could find it!”

“What!? How? When?” Alright, time to push the both of you back, before the food becomes a problem and/or gets burnt. “Hachiman! No, don’t push, we need to figure it out now—

“We can figure things out, in this perfectly safe place, on our own time and without any danger of getting anyone burnt by a stove.” I picked my girlfriend up, and moved her to the table, while dragging Marisa by her sleeve to the table. I sat them both down. Reimu’s glare told me that she was anything besides pleased, while the Chuuni Witch seemed intent on getting up again, so that she can continue to acquire some more magic. So, I executed my best Big Brother stance by crossing my arms and tapping my foot. 1% of the time, 10% of the time, this move worked on Komachi. “Explain what you can to her for now, while I finish making breakfast. We have a long day ahead, so we all need to eat.”

Surprisingly, instead of even considering what I asked, Marisa looked towards Reimu instead. So, I guess all my persuasive power stems from my super OP girlfriend and not me? Yep, I get it. Go ahead and do that, since you can probably beat me up.

“…Fine…”

And, of course, because my super OP girlfriend is also super reasonable.

“She can examine me all she wants when I’m done cooking. It’ll only be a few minutes.” I’m sure that Reimu had many questions. Since she trusted Marisa enough to act so brazen around her, I was sure that the Chuuni Witch’s words were weighing heavily in her mind. Therefore, I wanted Marisa to answer any question Reimu had, because my girlfriend will definitely interpret those initial words as her somehow endangering me, despite not knowing how, or doing so on purpose. “And, whatever the explanation is, I won’t forgive you if you beat yourself up over it, Reimu. It’s not your fault, so don’t go thinking anything dumb, like breaking up with me to protect me, okay?”

If I’m going to be some sort of heroine/damsel in distress, the least I can do is cut away any belief that I’ll break up with Reimu for some stupid reason. Sure, if she wants to break up because I’m a terrible person or something, I’ll let her. But if it’s because of something she and I have no control over? Fuck that. That sort of shitty reasoning gets to work in fiction, but sure as hell doesn’t get to work in real life, even if IRL now involved magic, aliens, and afterlives. 

Reimu’s worth being in danger.

“…damn. Holy crap, I get why you’re head over heels for this guy, Reimu-chan.”

Eh, did I say all of that aloud?

“DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU DIDN”T MEAN TO, HACHIMAN!”

Tee hee, how silly of me.

Then again, a little embarrassment over professing the truth is a small price to pay for Reimu calming down, thinking logically, and not cutting ties with me.

…

Unfortunately, being a normie, mundane human being, I couldn’t tell what was happening to me while I was being investigated for magic. Reimu and Marisa were talking to one another about energy, waving their hands around, and generally having an experience that readers would be very interesting in reading about… while I ate breakfast. 

I mean bacon, eggs, and toast are pretty great, but are they worth a paragraph or two? Can you say that talking about some sliced, salted pork belly, with some white bread, and a runny egg will invoke the people’s interest? Sure, it’s incredibly tasty and fattening, but it’s not magic. Unless, of course, it’s made through magic… which it isn’t, because the Human Village of Gensokyo keeps chickens, pigs, and grows wheat. 

It’s just a breakfast that I ate while I waited for the exposition. 

Thankfully, the exposition was delivered by Reimu, so I didn’t have any issue regarding refocusing. 

“Marisa was right. What’s happening to you is linked to me, but I have no control over it. It’s so similar to my power that I can’t detect it, and it’s only because she’s used to sneaking into the temple that she can tell the difference.” Reimu had her arms crossed and a frown on her face, but she made no mention of breaking up, so that was good enough progress for me. Oh, and, well I suppose that getting clues about my unwanted ability to shift through space-time is nice, too. “Hachiman, are you listening? Don’t just… stare…”

“Alright, I’m explaining before you two jerks start flirting again.” It’s not flirting, I’ll have you know. I’m paying my girlfriend the compliment she deserves without any desire for renumeration. Flirting implies I’m out to get something for what I’m doing. That is not true. The action of staring at my girlfriend and being grateful is the reward. “It’s not Reimu, it’s the Hakurei shrine that’s making you appear and reappear in Gensokyo, because you’ve been acknowledged as a part of it.”

“Huh, neat.”

“No. Not just neat. It’s amazing!” Marisa’s eyes were alit with both greed and curiosity. I suppose that she’s sort of like the Type Moon magus, except less shit. She wants to learn more about magic, to the extent that she’ll steal it, but there’s thankfully no stupid rule about every spell needing to be original, special, and kept secret to stay powerful. “Whatever’s happening is because of a spell as old as the Barrier itself!”

“I see… so it’s not a curse. The Shrine is just doing what it’s meant to do, even though I have no idea what?” I had a few guesses, and given the blush on Reimu’s face, she was probably thinking the same lines as me. The duties involved in maintaining a Shrine differ between each one. Every single one has different traditions, even if there’s a common thread that they all adhere to. Given Reimu’s relationship with me becoming official this summer, and these strange happenings occurring at the same time, I can make a reasonable guess as to what’s happening. “The Shrine is making me fulfill the responsibilities of a Shrine Priest, since Reimu and I decided to get together.”

Reimu buried her face in her hands, hiding her blush on her face, but failing to hide it since it reached her ears.

Cute.

“You got it. It even makes sense! You’re being sent around to the most powerful people in Gensokyo, so that you can meet them and talk to them, and then get sent back!” Kirisame-san gave a swift nod, while a smile stretched across her features. She seemed very happy to hear the sound of her own voice. Don’t you know that it’s in bad taste to think so highly of yourself? Just my two cents. The higher you are the harder you fall, y’know? “You’re the dude who deals with things by talking, making deals and rules, while Reimu’s the one that beats everyone up for not doing what they’re told!”

“No. Hachiman’s Hachiman.” 

I considered the situation for a second, before nodding.

“Alright, so what do I need to do to control it. Do I need to just talk and fulfill my duties as best as I can?” Somehow, my words must’ve been strange, because once I uttered them both my girlfriend and her friend’s necks creaked, as they simultaneously turned to me. “Eh? What’s up? Why are you both—”

“Man, they sure make them different in the Outside nowadays. It’s almost scary how fast this guy decides to do things, Reimu-chan.” Kirisame scratched her cheek and awkwardly laughed, while a small blush played across her face. Oi, why are you doing that? I’m taken. Go act cute on your own time and away from my line of sigh. “Or, is he different? The Outside seems too scary, if there’s a lot of guys just willing to throw themselves at a problem without thinking.”

“Nope. Hachiman’s one of a kind and no one else can have him.” Oi. Don’t go saying things like that. How’s a guy with antisocial tendencies supposed to handle those words, especially when they’re coming from his childhood friend? Naturally, of course, and without a doubt, all Hikigaya Hachiman could possibly do in the fact of such words is blush like a lunatic. Now, let’s see if I am correct. Yep. My face feels like it’s on fire. Goodbye, my cool moment. You were nice to have around for a few seconds. “Marisa and I think that you need to visit everybody’s who’s somebody in Gensokyo and introduce yourself. We need to make plans, send invitations, and delay those who we need to delay, so that we can finish as much as possible, before the summer ends.”

“But first, it’s too dangerous for a normal human to be appearing everywhere in Gensokyo, so Reimu-chan’s calling in a favor.” Kirisame gave a cheeky smile, while Reimu sighed and shook her head. My very cute girlfriend crossed her arms, but didn’t pout. Hmmm. Nope. I have no complaints whatsoever. I prefer cool, serious girls to ones who drift between cheery and lonely on a dime. “So, you’ll be staying in my hut for a bit, while we go and talk to one of Gensokyo’s biggest troublemakers and twist her arm, until she submits!”

There’s only one person who fit that bill in my girlfriend’s lessons. 

“Yakumo-san?” 

“Yep. You got it. The woman who has mastered the Boundary!” Marisa’s grin became wolfish and she rubbed her hands together in anticipation. “She beat me the last time we fought, but with me an Reimu working together, she doesn’t stand a chance—

“She doesn’t stand a chance against me alone, because I’m not letting her say no. If she does, I’m kicking her out.” Reimu cut down Marisa’s fighting spirit with just a few words. While the Chuuni Witch gave a cry of disbelief, Reimu’s hazel eyes bore into mine, as she leaned on the table to match my line of sight sitting down. “Hachiman, I won’t stop you from doing this, because I want you to. But… if there’s any one rule I want you to follow, it’s that if it comes to fighting, you’ll always let me handle it.”

This is the part where the protagonist shakes his head, tells his girlfriend that he’ll do his best to protect her, thus reinstating his manliness after days of being protected.

Thankfully, I’m not a protagonist.

“Yeah, you got it. Loud and clear. All fights are yours to handle. I’ll just talk.” With a nod, as well as making a “safe” motion with my arms, I relayed to my super OP girlfriend that I won’t do anything stupid that’ll put my life and hers at any more risk. What’s that? I’m a man and I should try to be manly? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my girlfriend smiling in relief. If you’re mad, I suggest you go to your own girlfriend and complain. If you have one. “So, do I have to do anything to prepare, or do I just get to wait here?”

Ideally, at those words, Reimu would’ve just nodded, and I could’ve just worked on my assignments, until they told me that they needed me again.

Unfortunately, I suddenly found myself falling through an abyss filled with eyes, instead of hearing whatever Reimu had to say.

…

Yukari Yakumo tapped a fan against her lip, as she looked upon me.

“You don’t look like Reimu-chan’s type.” I’d like to say that the tall, blonde woman in a purple dress and a silly hat had me tied to a chair. In reality, I was seated in a traditional eight-tatami room, on a cushion, while she sat across from me with a menacing glare. “She always pegged me as someone who’d look for a rugged, hard worker, yet instead she brought a second-rate scholar.”

“Oi, it’s third-rate. Not second.” I have good grades, but that’s only in the humanities. In the sciences, I barely pass to the point where I barely reach the tenth percentile of my school. While I’m not struggling, and I’m certainly enjoying my leisure time, I can most certainly do better if I try… “Second-rate means that I’m trying for first. I’m fine where I am.”

“And, you’re much too clever for your own good, too. Really… that girl knows how to make me feel like I’m just a stranger to her.” Lady, Raimu thinks you’re one of the four most likely causes of trouble whenever something happens in Gensokyo. My girlfriend would be weird, if she didn’t hold you at arm’s length. “You know she dislikes people who talk back, right? If you’re going to make her happy, you should know to treat a lady with more respect.”

“Absolutely not. You’re completely wrong. Reimu hates people who are wrong and insist on staying wrong. Talking back is fine, as long as you’re right, or willing to not be stupid.” I corrected Yakumo. She frowned at my words, and I felt more than a little trepidation. She’s strong. One of the strongest creatures in Gensokyo, and she’s the type of character who’s suppose to be unknown, mysterious, and super powerful. In short, she’s more of a lunatic that the woman who’d kill me for stepping on flower root. “So, what’s this about? Am I here because you want to threaten Reimu? Do you think that every battle needs the prize to be clearly in view? C’mon, I’ve been here for ten minutes, just tell me why I’m here already.”

If my answer and my questions irritated the muffet-wearing, possible-eldritch entity, it didn’t show on her face, as she tilted her head questioningly.

“Tell me… what is she to you—

“She’s my childhood friend, who’s now my girlfriend, and who I want to make into my wife.” I interrupted Yakumo and leaned forward on the table in the most Yakuza-like manner I could. “Now, instead of being an absolute bitch, why don’t you tell me who you think you are, since you think you know so much about Reimu, huh? Don’t you think you’re a little creepy, thinking all the things you do, huh?”

Oh. Wow. That’s an endless abyss filled with eyes.