Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 38

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 38

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Shaderic

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Sportsmanship is an idea made by winners.

No. Forget that.

Sportsmanship is a tool used by winners to make sure the losers don’t mess up their photogenic victory laps. 

Sure, you can claim that two equals duking it out, fighting with equal skills, and one overcoming the other is worth a handshake, but that’s normally not the case. Every single athlete is different in lifestyle, ability, and flat-out physical attributes. 

There are approximations of equality, but in most cases, when competitions are involved, the stats are horribly skewed by sheer luck. Work as hard as you want, train as hard as you want, but in the end there’s someone out there who can afford the best trainers, be born with just better attributes, or be just be more talented. They might have just one, but they can also have all three, and the chances are they’re never going to have none.

It’s safe to assume that every competition is rigged against the challenger.

Now, I’m not a nihilist loser who’ll tell you that all work is worthless in the end. I believe in humanity, in hard work, and in diligence. Without a doubt, I can espouse more than anyone that doing your absolute best, and committing everything you have to an ideal is a better way of living than just giving up. Sure, my way of representing those ideals involves burning cities, trapping armies in trenches, and collapsing dams, but I’m sure all of that counts. 

Anyway, shaking hands and respecting people who beat you isn’t necessary. 

The idea is nice.
I have nothing but respect for people who can get up, smile, and kiss the ass of the person who turned thousands of hours of hard work into nothing.  Those guys are going to get far in life, if they’re so willing to get stepped on used by other people. Submitting to those in power, and living in the shadow of the strong is pretty great, unless those aforementioned individuals inevitably trip themselves with their own power and fuck themselves over.

But I digress.

Sportsmanship isn’t a necessity, but an act of supreme humility, and it should be immensely respected because human beings are inherently spiteful, angry creatures. In fact, I’ll happily attest that a loser just walking away without a word after losing is a pretty good end result… but that’s with the caveat that the following be acknowledged: being a “sore loser” is the default answer, because it’s the right answer.

When you lose, you’re not supposed to do nothing or kiss ass and thank people for beating you.

You get angry.

You get pissed.

You get to work. 

All for the sake of not losing again.

That’s how our ancestors got to the top of the food chain. 

That’s how the powers that be got to the tippy top. 

That’s how I’ll win.

Being the most absolute, dreadful sore loser possible is the perfect state of mind to surmount any challenge, overcome every limitation, and achieve every single objective.

Source and evidence: me still fucking over the Empire, despite Roseanne’s orders, without breaking the aforementioned orders.

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If I can’t fight the Empire, I’m going to have other people do it for me. 

Taking a page from the Americans, my plan is to equip and arm peoples who have grudges against the Empire, then let them exact their own justice. What’s that? American plans have a tendency of blowing up in the long term? Well, to that question, my simple answer is I’m not planning on “liberating” my foreign, guerilla army’s lands after everything is said and done. I prefer immigration control, quasi-isolation, and lop-sided trade deals with lesser countries like any good, Japanese citizen.

However, before I can start with my fantastic plan, I need information, money, and far more infrastructure. I need to train individuals can tame and train feral Kindred in guerilla warfare, as well as provide them with support from afar. While I can certainly equip my own army, as well as supply and transport them via my Harpies and Wyverns, sustaining a foreign, tribal army until it gathers momentum and turns into a horde right inside the Empire is a faraway notion.

Such a thing will need everything from food, weapons, and logistical supplies, simply because the Empire continuously stamps them out and harvests them in their wilderness. The various Kindred tribes in Empire territory are dangerous only the smallest village, or the lone traveler, and are generally considered wild game. Cordoned off into territories, hunted for sport for easy access to materials, and kept below the threshold where they’ll be a threat to cities, the Kindred in Empire lands will only become a threat, if I can make them a threat. 

So, I need to expand Ylstu more.

I need more crops, products, and sources of income. Tools, talent, and people need to flow in and out of Ylstu, so that I can pick and choose what I need. If I can’t buy it, then I need to have it somehow made, and then I need to figure out a way to contact isolated pockets of Kindred in Empire territory. They’ll have disparate cultures, maybe even completely different languages, and distrust the Kindred that left their people generations ago. In every respect, my plan to assemble an insurgency within the Empire is riddled with dozens of problems.

However, as difficult as my goal is, it’s also something Roseanne can’t contest without feeling really, really bad.

Demon Lord-san, are you really going to tell me to stop arming and training the people yours left behind to die? Are you really that heartless? Don’t you think that this is fine? They’re fighting for their freedom and their right to live against people that have tortured them. Does politics actually matter in this case? Can’t you find it in your heart to just look aside for their sake, while I have other people gut Empire soldiers for me?

Of course, I’ll have to come up with a better speech than that to convince Roseanne when she finds out, but that can be done while I work.

For now, though, while I waited for my funds to increase, my focus was on gathering as much information as possible. Unfortunately, that involved studying with A’Bel, after sifting through hearsay accounts, and multitudes of rumors, until I could get my hands on more Kunoichi, so that I could actually scout the insides of the Empire, and give me tangible, worthwhile information. 

So, for now I was desperately trying to study in my office, while my tutor was doing her best to seduce me.

“Very few tribes managed to penetrate and entrench themselves within the tight vice of the Empire, my dear summoner.” Oh, and of course, the Demon I’d summoned was filling the information with innuendo. Instead of providing me with information with a deep, gravely voice from the darkness whilst surrounded by flame, A’Bel wore a skirt that hid nothing, a blouse that couldn’t close above the navel, and glasses that she didn’t need. Oh, I didn’t mention anything about a bra and panties? That’s because there are none. Yes. Instead of hellfire and sulfur, I was experiencing Teacher Play from my Arch Demon. “Only the strongest or weakest of the Kindred managed to remain in their ancestral homes, while the Empire pushed and pushed, until the Demon Lords could do nothing besides come… and meet the thrust of humanity.”

The worst part is that Reiser didn’t notice the ludicrous amount of innuendos at all, while supporting it.

“As Lady A’Bel says, there are many Mamono in the Empire’s Frontier, and as you say they are culled regularly, but never completely destroyed… so that they can be used as a steady source of material outside of costly battles.” Reiser wrote on a clay tablet, practicing her letters, and neatly placed on tablet over another after filling them. She was filling it with all the information she kept within her brain. It was surprising amount of information, given her lacking intelligence, but I suppose the Empire likes its supersoldiers knowing what to kill. “After your actions, disrupting the Empire’s forces in the Frontier, it is possible that these Kindred will be of great use to you, if they are supplied, fed, and trained as you plan. They will fight to their dying breath to reclaim their ancestral lands with their own hands, and exact vengeance for… being treated as dangerous material to be harvested.”

A’Bel nodded and patted the former-Hero’s head after her little monologue. Did I miss something? Since when did their relationship reach this point, especially when they just met a few days ago? Which of you is the Persona protagonist? I demand to know, since I have no intention of dying for anyone after just a five-minute heart-to-heart. I have better things to do. Yeah, it’s planning on causing massive amounts of permanent damage and trauma to an entire nation, but they totes deserve it, honest! 

Tee-hee.

I want to wipe out an entire way of life and culture!

Tee-hee.

“Oi, I’m busy. Be friendly when I don’t need you.” Since I’m a big boy who doesn’t make stupid mistakes, I’m writing my notes on paper with pencil. See how mentally stable and reasonable I am, Roseanne? Would an egomaniac willing to let the world burn for vengeance write on paper with a pencil? No. They’d write with a permanent pen, in a world without white-out, because they’re crazy lunatics who shouldn’t be trusted. So, Demon Lord-san, you can really just let me do what I want, y’know? “Give me the three who can spread fast, hit hard, and not get wiped out. I want soldiers and future allies. Not throwaway weapons.”

“Very well, my dear summoner, I’ll be more than happy to!” Yes, A’Bel, I can clearly see that you’re very “happy.” That thin blouse hides nothing. Now… how about instead of being an immense slut with questionable standards, you answer my question? “The Tribes you seek in the depths of the Empire lands would have to be the Salamanders, the Ocelomeh, and the Soldier Beetles. Each of them, I’m absolutely sure, hold sizeable lands within Empire territory, remain feared, and have not been overcome.”

Surprisingly, Reiser shook her head.

“The Salamanders and Ocelomeh persist as terrifying foes in the densest of forests and jungles, but the Soldier Beetles were destroyed by the construction of a dam. Their hive and homeland was flooded, until they were forced to meet the Empire in open battle.” 

“Which would be suicide, because the Empire has more men and more magic.”

“Correct.”

“Well, since they’re not available, move on to the next one.” Hopefully, there’s more of the species elsewhere in the world, but if not they’re just another black mark on the pitch-black void that was the Empire’s foundations. “A’Bel?”

“Hmmm, then what of the Mantis?”

“Some bands persist, but they have been scattered and are being hunted.”

“Right, I’m seeing the pattern here. Reiser, you give the suggestion first, and A’Bel you tell me about them after.” Figures that the Empire will get rid of the ones that are too dangerous. Whoever’s left will teeter the line of being too strong to kill, and not being dangerous enough to wipe out and deprive the Empire of corpses to turn into reagents. They’ll have wiped out the biggest threats in their realm, because they’re frustratingly not absolute idiots. Kami-sama, can’t you give me a break and make my enemies idiots, so I can have an easier time? No? Well, then… you’re a jerk and you’ll have to live knowing that, if you’re real. “Go ahead. I’m waiting.”

To be honest, I expected to wait for a long time, since Reiser’s an idiot.

Surprisingly, I barely waited for a second.

“The High Orcs are terrifying barbarians who took Mystall’s Peninsula to the south of the continent several decades ago.” On one hand, Mystall’s Peninsula is on the southeast corner of the continent, so that makes it very far from Ylstu, which is at the center. However, if it’s peninsula, I have access to a river that flows south, through Empire territory, but all the way to the southern coastline. I can make it work, especially for a batch of Kindred badass enough to take and hold an entire Peninsula. “They’ve made a small civilization there to the point where they’ve begun making steel weapons, leather armor, and small ships. Much like you, they’ve manned a mountain range to prevent Empire magic from ravaging them, and ambush all that dare try breach the few passes into their territory.”

With that interesting amount of relevant information, I turned to my other advisor.

The one that didn’t mention them.

“I did not mention them, because they are Kindred that you will detest. They suborn “lesser” Orcs beneath their rule, as well as any weaker Kindred. Men are prizes in their tribe. Valued prizes, but prizes nonetheless.” Tch, and here I thought I actually had something use against A’Bel. Apparently, no, she’s still perfectly doing her job and providing me with information I needed and could use, instead of just giving me what I wanted, but couldn’t use. Dammit. “However, Reiser is correct. They are a strong race and they can be made to submit…”

“I’m not interested owning slaves or helping slavers.” Enemy of my enemy is my friend? Bullshit. My enemy’s enemy is my enemy’s enemy only. Nothing more and nothing less. Allying with the High Orcs sounds like saying the Empire is okay, as long as they’re hot sluts who are down to fuck. Yeah, not interested. The best I can hope for from them is that they’ll kill a lot of Empire, while getting killed in turn. “Next, Reiser.”

This time around, Reiser’s mouth opened and closed a few times, as she wracked her head for an answer.

I was about to turn to A’Bel and ask her to start mopping the damn floor of my office, when Ur’s second-in-command entered my office after a few knocks. 

The tall, long-haired Amazon knelt before I could tell her not to, and delivered a report, while Reiser, A’Bel, and the Kunoichi in a naked apron trying to hand-feed me snacks listened in.

“Chieftain, Ur has returned and has completed your orders. Honored Warrior Sayuri is with them, as well as Lady Kurama, and all others you sent. No casualties were had, but there are complications that they wish to report immediately.” 

I was already standing and walking by the time the Amazon said “complications.” By the time she finished speaking, I was picking her up and making her stand, so that she could explain things to me while we walked. A’Bel and the Kunoichi were already finished cleaning the room by time I reached the door, while Reiser walked just a stride behind me.

Sometimes, it pays to have high-spec individuals in your employ, even if two of them are incredibly lewd sluts, and one’s a traitorous bitch with serious issues. 

“Kae, talk while we walk. Tell me everything you’re absolutely sure about, but nothing more and nothing less.” The Amazon looked away for a second, after finding out I knew her name, but cleared her throat and moved on a moment after. “If you’re not sure about something, say nothing, so we don’t waste time.”

Kae gave a nod, before telling me the last thing I wanted to hear.

“A powerful foe is approaching Ylstu. We believe that you should flee.”

Naturally, I had only one answer.

“Fuck that. Whatever it is, I’m killing it.”