bandits as goblins

so the poll is already like. hilariously Decided which means i'm free to do whatever i want with the ones that aren't winning. and this one is not winning. BUT I WILL TAKE ANY EXCUSE TO WORLDBUILD VIA SPECIES SWAPPING. i LOVE that shit. saves me having to come up with new characters when i can just fit existing characters into the framework

SO IF THESE FOUR WERE A TROUPE OF GOBLINS...

vanesse, no matter what she is, will be slender, pretty, and concerned with appearances. a goblin vanesse would be preoccupied with fitting a human's idea of femininity and class, and try to present herself as better than regular goblins. that said, she'd be considered a very pretty goblin by goblin standards as well, with her nice long ears and healthy tusks. she would take care to smell very nice and make her hair soft. i'm not fully decided on how goblins would think of gender transition but i can't imagine they'd have negative feelings about it, considering they're almost entirely bisexual as a culture.

sam would be considered a Hot Fucking Goblin with all that muscle. goblins don't get very big, so when they do, they go crazy for it. he'd win pretty much all disputes among the group by default, though the twins have noticed he goes down much easier when he's up against vanesse...

and the twins in this case would be 1/4 human, as opposed to 1/4 goblin. the human is what gives them their unique orange hair and stubbier ears. if it wasn't for the ears, the hair would probably make them pretty popular with other goblins because it's unique. alas, they don't do any better than anyone else, and are default the lowest ranked of the group since sam can trounce them and would Also trounce them if they tried it with vanesse

honestly as a group they'd be very unusual for having no goblins with a cunt among them. anal is just as inconvenient for goblinos as it is for humans, so it'd be a lot of frottage and facefuckin' in this group, with occasional special treat sex when they get their hands on oil (mostly between sam and vanesse, since they're bonded). pretty girls on the road, watch out