A Story About Identity

Early Access Post!

My partner visited me this holiday, we did a lot of fun stuff together, including a lot of art stuff. We talked a lot about things like emotional expression and self fulfillment via art; They learned more about one of my means for both, that being my cancelled project.

They described the project as a very emotional story that could resonate with a lot of people, I felt very proud of that. Although, I couldn't help but feel worried about the idea of posting it, because of just how personal and intense the story was. It was a story entirely made from negative emotions about myself.

I felt like I wasn't capable of artistically expressing my emotions without suffering, like I wasn't allowed to make anything just for the sake of making myself happy. My partner held me close, assuring me that I don't have to suffer while making art, that they'll help me through it, no matter what. It was a wonderful moment, they made me feel seen, and truly supported.

We spent the next week working on a comic together, a positive and genuine story, where I could express my feelings without falling into complete self depreciation. It felt like a breath of fresh air, just sharing around fun ideas and walking through these personal emotions with that source of love and honesty right by my side, every step of the way.

After making that comic, I felt more okay with the idea of experimenting, trying new things to make me feel happier with my identity; All of that is what lead to this piece. I thought it would be a fun idea to take attributes from several fictional characters we liked, and make them into new characters. We put a lot of elbow grease into these fellas, finding medians in hair colors, color palettes, height, etc. I wanted to know if by the end of it, I would have a better understanding of myself, perhaps my character would open my eyes a bit to what I really want. After all was said and done, I think I got what I wanted. (If anyone's curious, my partner's character is on the left, mine is on the right.)

To anyone experiencing similar emotions, you should create, you should explore, you should feel free to do whatever it is that makes you happy! If there's nobody there to tell you that, I'll say it. You're valid in your existence, you're a special, worthwhile person and your feelings matter. I wish you all good luck in your journeys with your identities, and just in life in general. I hope you all have a great new year, and thank you so much for all the support this year.