(Psychoanalytic) Throwback Thursday to 2008
Added 2021-05-13 17:21:40 +0000 UTCHello my dear patrons, here's a special (psychoanalytic) Throwback Thursday to 2008.
As I've been telling you over different posts, I started experimenting with self photography as a challenge from my therapist on 2005. By the time I was 30 or so I had lots of issues with my image, I got used to be the "ugly" one of any kind of relationship I had since forever, I think that's partly why I dressed so eccentric and had a very changing image since my teens until when I was 40. And also had many intimacy issues, which may seem contradictory having been into what many may call naturism since I was little. But that's me: contradictory and in constant change and evolution. Something I've come to accept and realize its actually a good thing to be.
Just as I turned 40 I decided it was time to make some soul searching and self evaluation. First thing I did was to gab a video camera and film all that happened in my life on the two weeks before my birthday. I used that birthday celebration as the turning point. Nobody has ever seen that documentary. It's still too personal. But maybe next year I'll feel confident enough to share it with you. Who knows?
So this pic set was taken/edited between 2007 and 2008. I wanted to put visually some thoughts I had. I have my interpretation of them, but everyone can find theirs. Let me know what you think I was trying to convey :)
Have a great Thursday guys 😘❤️
Comments
Gracias ☺️😘❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-06-28 16:34:33 +0000 UTCMuy buen montaje 👌👌👌
Antonio j. Rego Gaute
2021-06-28 16:16:21 +0000 UTCThank you Tim. Those are the full size versions from back in the day. I will see if it’s possible to redo them in a higher resolution 😉😘😘❤️❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-14 11:29:21 +0000 UTCI love these pics. I would love to have a print of them on my bedroom wall.
Tim Fountain
2021-05-14 11:19:32 +0000 UTCThank you for listening and watching😘😘❤️❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-14 02:20:11 +0000 UTCAh I see. That all makes sense. It’s amazing how powerful it can be to document how you feel. Thank you.
James C
2021-05-14 02:15:05 +0000 UTCThat’s an interesting read James. I myself back in that day did the two first trying to convey the fragmented And tired I felt. First looking as sincerely as I could from that broken space, second hearing, blocking but wanting… the third was the product of living in a gay village for seven years. I felt indigestes of so much dick talk all day for years, of having to adjust to a type of sexual behavior I was not made for. I was trying to reivindícate my naked body not as a sexual tool but as a more honest way of communication. Thank you so much for sharing that with me James 😘😘❤️❤️❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-14 02:11:48 +0000 UTCDe eso se trata jeje en su día las hice para expresar sentimientos abstractos con los que debía manejarme. Besos 😘😘❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-14 02:05:53 +0000 UTCAgain, some amazing art from you. The first two seem to show both your fragile side and the confident man you wanted to be. Stripped bare just you and your thoughts. The third one is very cock-centric. Maybe you were thinking it controls too much of you as you look a bit concerned. Our thoughts one day can alter from one day to the next. Take the good ones and expand on these like you have in the BK world. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking art. Warmest hugs.
James C
2021-05-14 01:38:27 +0000 UTCDon benja, debo admitir que sus imágenes me dieron un poquito de miedo 😳😖
Pablo Pizarro Baeza
2021-05-14 00:52:00 +0000 UTCThank you so much for sharing your experience dear Bob. I really appreciate reading it, and it thinks it’s helpful for all. I wonder what would it take to have this kind of examples put out there for guys growing up in our community. I would really have loved to have had this message when I was younger. Thank you, much love 😘😘❤️❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-13 19:49:24 +0000 UTCAll of us change as we mature, from immature adolescents with a false sense of who we are expected to be to adults who find our natural identity. I personally have struggled with self confidence issues and feelings of inferiority like so many other men. Having been a skinny kid who developed emotionally and sexually later than others has left deep scars of my teen years as well as my early 20s. I have always been content with my sexual orientation even though I have played the straight role for most of my life. As an adult I'm over hiding who I am and am content with most of my life. We all develop at our own pace, no one has to judge the way you live. Thank you for being you and helping all of us have a positive image of ourselves. Much love.
Robert dutton
2021-05-13 19:43:23 +0000 UTCIm sure it will, it is insightful.
Cody Alvarado
2021-05-13 17:35:02 +0000 UTCThank you so much dear Cody. I know it maybe too much information but on the other hand if it helps others I’ll be profoundly happy 😊 😘😘❤️❤️
Benjamin Koll
2021-05-13 17:32:24 +0000 UTCThat was amazing to look at and read!, thank you for sharing Ben
Cody Alvarado
2021-05-13 17:30:11 +0000 UTC
