BROODING BALD CAPE IN A HOODIE (ALSO KNOWN AS: THE RISE OF BALDMAN)

Taylor didn’t mean to become an urban legend.

She just wanted to patrol in peace—hoodie up, jeans on, hands jammed in her pockets like she was perpetually disappointed in the entire city. Which, to be fair, she kind of was.

But word got out.

Not about Taylor Hebert. Not about the teenage girl who could obliterate buildings with a single punch.

No.

About Baldman.

It started with a grainy phone video: a hunched figure in a hoodie stomping through Brockton Bay like someone had personally offended them with sidewalk chalk.

. . . . .

►Iamotherswine

Who is the bald guy?

►The_Golden_Beast2440 

@ iammotherswine: Dunno. But he punched Lung into orbit.

►Destoguardian

@ The_Golden_Beast2440: Bro I heard he glared at Uber and the guy started apologizing to a mailbox.

. . . . .

The legend grew. So did the memes.

One showed Taylor standing in front of a crater with the caption: Criminals fear him. Pigeons fear him. Barbers hate him.

Another: He’s not angry. He’s just bald.

Criminals started checking alleyways before doing crime. Just in case.

Word on the street said Skidmark dove into a dumpster and refused to come out after spotting someone in a hoodie half a block away.

Even pigeons learned. One brave bird pooped on her shoulder. She turned slowly, looked at it. The bird combusted in mid-air.

“Coincidence,” they muttered. “Probably.”

But it only fed the rumor mill. 

On PHO, a dedicated megathread now tracked her sightings: /r/BaldmanWatch/

One user, FickleVirgo, posted:

“Saw him—her?—last night near the Boardwalk. Just stared at a burning car until it stopped burning. 10/10 would abandon crime again.”

Meanwhile, Taylor remained unaware of the internet’s growing obsession with her.

She just wanted peace.

And maybe a villain dumb enough to try something.