(OPB) TAYLOR MEETS SAITAMA ONLINE

Taylor didn’t use social media much.

Too many triggers. Too many people who used to shove her into lockers now posting #blessed selfies.

But one night—bored, hoodie up, sitting on a rooftop with a half-crushed juice box—she logged into a forgotten forum.

A thread caught her eye:

♦ Topic: Did Anyone Actually Try That Saitama Routine?

In: Boards ► General ► Cape Fitness

Most of the replies were jokes. One guy said he did it and now existed as pure kinetic energy. Another claimed he almost finished it but stubbed his toe.

But Taylor?

She posted.

TaylorHebert: I did the routine, all of it, for three years every day. No AC in summer. No heating in winter. I can punch through buildings now, but I lost all my hair. Still mad about that part.

She didn't expect a message.

She definitely didn’t expect the reply.

♦  Private message from Saitama:

Saitama: Oh cool, it worked for someone else? Nice.

Taylor blinked. Stared. Re-read it.

TaylorHebert: Wait. You’re real?? You’re ACTUALLY real???

A moment passed.

Saitama: Yeah. Been doing hero work in City Z. Mostly part-time.

She didn't know what the fuck City Z was, but she couldn't care less.

Saitama: Don’t forget to moisturize your scalp, by the way. Very important.

TaylorHebert: …Too late.

Saitama: RIP. Try aloe. Works better than you'd think. 

It seemed being bald was a feature not a bug. 

TaylorHebert: Thanks. Any advice for dealing with public attention?

Saitama: Just ignore it. They’ll get used to you. Or not. Either way, you just keep on doing what you have to do.

She stared at the screen in awe. Somewhere out there, in another world or timeline or maybe just across the internet, someone else got it.

He even had an emoji as his profile pic: a plain, bald smiley face.

Then he sent one last message:

OK_Bald: PS: It never gets less awkward. The power, the attention, the birds avoiding you. You just kinda live with it. But hey, good luck, Bald Sis.

Taylor smiled. Just a little.

Then a nearby car exploded.

She sighed, closed her phone, and stood up. 

The streets of Brockton Bay awaited.