chrissabug

Another trip around the sun: 10 Lessons Learned

Added 2024-09-28 08:54:08 +0000 UTC

Hello hello! I made it one more rotation around the sun! It is my birthday today and I thought it would be a good opportunity to do a little blog post reflecting on the past year and the lessons learned.

I find that holidays like birthdays, new years, seasonal holidays, and even the full moon are great times to reflect a bit on accomplishments, hardships overcome, and lessons learned over the past month, season, or year!

This blog post is long and full of mostly personal experiences and lessons, so if you are not interested, you can go ahead and skip this post and keep an eye out for the upcoming wallpaper pack.

Here we go!

Last year during my birthday and the rest of autumn after, I remember being on a bit of a roll. I was finally recovering a bit from the grief of losing Mochi earlier that year and had been doing a lot of introspection over the summer. All of that was really reflecting in my art and my work.

I had finally started to understand that

(LESSON #1) Taking the time to be free of distractions, let my mind wander, and dive into the depths of my soul can have a huge impact on my art and my work.

But a roll can't last forever. Just as I felt things were looking up, in December, just before Christmas, we lost Ukii, our beloved white cat, and the second cat we lost that year. That was tough, as I'm sure I have talked with you guys before. However, I will admit that because I had gone through the most excruciating grieving process for Mochi earlier that year, and Ukii's circumstances were a bit different and more expected, I found that I recovered a bit quicker. Grief isn't linear, and it sometimes still strikes and leaves me gasping through tears, but that is part of the process and life.

These moments of profound loss hold some of the most important lessons. One that keeps smacking me in the face is to

(LESSON #2) Pay attention to the good things and what you have NOW. Enjoy them. Remember them. Nothing in life is forever, which makes the good things and moments even sweeter.

Moving into the start of 2024, I realized that the past couple of winters here really wore me down, which was new. I've always enjoyed the cold and darkness of winter, but maybe the dark gray days here just a bit too much or perhaps as I get a little older I appreciate the sun more.

Either way, I am learning to

(Lesson #3) Accept that I also change. My preferences and even my dreams won't always be the same. Sometimes, I have to be really honest with myself and ask if I am doing something because I actually enjoy it or want it or if I just used to enjoy it or want it. Is it something that doesn't actually resonate anymore and that I should let go of?

This can be a whole grief process in and of itself, depending on how tightly I am holding on to whatever I thought I liked or wanted. (maybe not so much with the weather, but with other things like dreams that I thought I wanted)

In the midst of all of these personal lessons, I was a very busy bee, working on my second book, doing some commissions for a few authors, and of course making personal work and tutorials for this patreon page!

I also released my first book, which was a huge accomplishment! Officially a published author!

I was swamped with a crazy amount of work, and I took away the obvious less on

(Lesson #4) Be careful how much work you take on. You can do anything, but you can't do everything.

But I also learned:

(Lesson #5) Even when things seem overwhelming and like too much, you will get through it one way or another. Just sit down and focus on one task at a time. That way you will start working your way through the big pile bit by bit.

In late winter, I took a brief trip to Portugal to get a little bit of warmer weather. It was rejuvenating and much needed after the long dark winter of Sweden, and because we had lost Ukii and had yet to adopt another cat, it was also a relief not to worry about pets at home while we were away. It was a truly carefree trip, which I hadn't had in a very long time.

After returning home, I adopted cats, as I mentioned in a previous blog post and as you may have seen on Social media. I also started fostering cats for the rescue. And oh boy, what a learning curve that is!

Being a cat wrangler for foster kittys is a whole job, and I'm not even dealing with a litter of kittens, although both of my fosters have been only one year old.

Fostering has been such a rewarding experience, though. My home has been ideal for it since I work from home and can be available. Each of my fosters has been a last-minute cat with nowhere else to go, and they get dropped off that same day that the rescue finds them.

It has taught me that:

(Lesson #6) it is really beneficial for fulfilment and mental health to do something that is in service or for the greater good of something outside of yourself.

We are told this all the time, but it didn't sink in for me until I started fostering.

Of course, I have done service before, but finding a cause that is very close to your heart makes a huge impact. Fostering cats is not always easy and fun, but it is also so rewarding to give these cats who were thrown out or maybe never had a home a place where they are safe, calm, and they get love. Then, when they are adopted, it is hard to say goodbye, but I love to see that they are going to good homes where they will get lots of love. (It's even better if their new parents are active on social media, and I can stock them posting happy cat photos and videos of my foster babies)

I just said goodbye to Lucy miss Goosey (my foster kitty who spent the summer here healing from broken leg) last night as she went to live with her new potential adopters. I'll miss her so much but it is a birthday gift to me that she gets a chance to have a loving forever home that sounds like a perfect fit.

I feel like I get a lot from these cats. Especially over this past summer when I was on my own.

As many of you know, I am in the middle of a move back to the U.S. I won't go into all of the reasons again for now, but my husband has been moved back since the end of June because he needed to start working. I wasn't ready to leave and had some stuff I wanted to wrap up here, and I wanted to enjoy Swedish summer, so I have been here on my own with the cats.

I realized that it was the first time I had lived on my own full-time. When I was 18 and moved out of my parents' house, I moved into a tiny apartment I shared with five other girls. (Yeah, it was a very cramped situation, but hey! It was cheap!) Then I got married right after I graduated from college and moved states to get to work. So, I have always lived with someone.

I thought things would be very lonely here this summer, and sometimes they were. But I learned that when you are buried in work and routine, whether you are on your own, or you are in a relationship, sometimes the feeling of loneliness isn't that different. There are times that I have been living with my husband, and we have both been so busy that I felt more lonely than times when I was actually alone, but we make an intentional effort to have long phone conversations every day.

So I think the lesson in this is that,

(Lesson #7) You can be lonely, whether alone or surrounded by people, and intentional effort must be made to have meaningful conversations and connections with people. Distractions can cause us to not meaningfully connect, which can lead to loneliness.

At least, this is what I observed from my experience.

(Lesson #8) If you have the perfect plans, life will almost always throw you another curveball, but trusting your gut might give you hints that the curveball is coming.

My plans were to finally move back to the US with my 2 adopted boy cats in mid-October. Then, I was going to come back in November and spend one more month here alone before finally moving myself in December. The stages of my move have always been weird, and it has been hard to explain my reasoning for moving the cats and then coming back for an extra month.

The reasons had to do with the best flights with the fewest layovers for cats, but I wanted to be sure my residency was in Sweden for the whole year. Boring, logistical stuff.

BUT NOW, I wonder if some deeper part of me sensed that the October date wasn't actually going to work for me, knew that something was going to happen that would require me to stay longer.

Through an unexpected turn of events and many visits to the vet, Miso has been diagnosed with a type of heart disease and abnormal heartbeat. At his last appointment, the cardiologist said she would not recommend flying with him. However, I did get an email from her yesterday, saying we could try testing again in October to see if things are better and he can fly. We're also getting some second opinions.

I am devastated, and once again, I am smacked with the lesson that (#9) you need to appreciate the good things while you have them because nothing lasts forever. And sometimes you have them much shorter than expected.

But if Miso cannot fly with us in October, that option to stay here until Decemeber will save him. It will give me time to be with him, and work with the rescue I foster for to find him the perfect home that can handle his condition. I hate the idea of leaving him and have even looked into if going by boat would be a better option (it's not.) But he deserves a stress-free life for however long his poor enlarged heart has, which could be months or years!

It's not for sure yet that he cannot come, but if he can't, I guess he will be teaching me a lesson that might be along the lines of,

(Lesson #10) When you love someone and want the best for them, sometimes you have to let them go where they will thrive, even if that means it isn't with you.

And that is a very painful lesson. I'll be honest with you, I'm bawling as I type this. It is still very fresh.

But as we learned from an earlier lesson, Even when things seem overwhelming and like too much, you will get through it one way or another.

Anyway, this was a lot of personal stuff, and if you made it this far, thank you.

Despite the challenges, it has been a very good year for me.

There are always ups and downs, and I'm learning to ride the waves. Keeping consistent with practicing art and expressing imagination and emotion through it while we ride through the storms of life helps keep me grounded, and knowing that you guys are here supporting and cheering me on helps me keep up with that consistency.

I am so grateful and honored to have you in my corner. You guys have been a steady rock for me over the years through all of the changes, good times and hard times, so thank you!

Wishting you a fabulous weekend.