Blacksmith vs. the System 281

It was fascinating just how much time could stretch when under pressure. And, the sight of five Ascended warriors flying toward Maria, exhausted and disoriented, while the other five moved to block my path, I was under enough pressure. The presence of another seventeen just behind me, didn’t make things any easier.

All the while, I had to resolve my biggest fear, one that had defined my life in many different ways.

Easy, right?

At that moment, I was glad that I had both Intelligence and Wisdom. Combined with the adrenaline and fear, they allowed me to get into some kind of special mood, allowing me to look inward, going through my emotions and memories as far as possible.

Something that drained me even more than my past meditation attempts, the ones that left me dazed and exhausted for days. Yet, I pushed forward. I had no choice. Either I did that, or Maria would be gone.

I plunged deeper, trying that, for the first time in my life, that was where my fear of flying had come from. Something that I had always avoided, acting like I had always known the answer. That I was afraid of an accident.

But, the sight of someone I cared about facing death, I had no luxury to lie to myself to avoid the truth.

Was I really afraid of flying accidents? Or, was it an excuse for me to avoid the truth…

The first set of memories I reached was an awkward one, a compilation of every time I flew. I had rarely done it, and each time I did, I handled it by shutting myself, closing my mind and my senses as much as possible. On the surface, I always believed that it was the flying and the heights that scared me.

But I focused on it.

Wisdom allowed me to reach the memories in a more direct way, not limiting myself to the tale I told myself. I could feel my own reaction; and notice that there was no sudden jolt of panic immediately during a tribulation, no spike during a sudden descent. Those always came later.

Like my subconscious mind directing me away from the truth. Because something else scared me.

The sky.

Endless, limitless sky, particularly when there was no cloud in sight. A dark, deep memory, unrestrained. Those memories confirmed one thing. I wasn’t afraid of flying because of the consequences of a fall. I was afraid of the sky.

It was why my little experiment with the metal ceiling had been so easy to make progress, one that I failed to materialize in a more direct way.

Unfortunately, that realization didn’t suddenly make everything click. My fear of the sky wasn’t the end of the issue, but the start. Was it similar to thalassophobia, where people were just afraid of dark, deep waters, afraid of the unknown?

Was it just my ego, unable to cope with the unknown?

A chuckle escaped me as I recognized my own inclination. It would have been so easy to accept that it was just a problem of my ego, that, unable to handle the unknown, I turned it into an unhealthy taboo. But it was just another escape mechanism…

Just another way to avoid the true source. I reached deeper and deeper, trying to understand where that came from, unlocking my memories layer by layer, until I reached my childhood … where I had lived through a period of restlessness, woken up by nightmares that I couldn’t remember.

Dreams that, even with Wisdom, I could barely remember. The only thing that remained was restlessly waking up in the middle of the night, trembling and frozen. Yet, I also remembered not making a peep, afraid that they would give me sleeping pills, locking me in those dreams.

Afraid of waking people, I started spending time reading encyclopaedias in my room, one of which solidified my interest in science. All in a desire to understand the truth … and escape those dreams.

I couldn’t help but chuckle despite the situation. I always prided myself on acting rationally. Realizing that everything I had done had borne from a desire to escape the dreams that I couldn’t remember was tough.

Pushing deeper, I found a memory that I refused to reach. My day at the planetarium. I was seven, and it was my birthday; a celebration until I collapsed due to some kind of food poisoning. Or that, was the official story. One that soon turned into just another piece of my childhood. Yet, I delved deeper.

As a star student, I remembered the caretaker offering me a special birthday present. He allowed me to use an antique telescope, one that they claimed was owned by a series of famous scientists, including Isaac Newton.

I trembled as I reached that part of my memories. I remembered how I touched the bronze surface, one that felt unnaturally cold … a surface that was covered with mystic lines that I had never even thought about before. They were not patterns I recognized, but ordinary, they were not.

I remembered how those symbols brightened for a fleeting second when I touched, something that I would have written off as a glint even if I had paid any attention, unable to recognize that distinct blue.

I gulped. I could feel every muscle of mine locking, far worse than any flying attempt. I could feel it in the depths of my soul, that I had reached the source.

I wondered if I would have ever succeeded in pushing forward if it wasn’t for Maria and Rosie. Despite their desperate situation, they had noticed my plight, and both of them started moving toward me.

“I must look really terrible,” I muttered sarcastically, yet underneath it, I pushed. How could I do something else, when two people I cared about risked their lives just because I was too cowardly to ever remember something I had seen when I was seven?

I pushed forward.

I remembered looking at Saturn, only for one of its moons to pass right in front of it, close enough to catch its shadow. I had seen that moon.

But it was not the only thing I had seen.

I had seen a monster, large enough to cloak the whole surface, smaller monsters crawling on the dark side of the planet like worms desperate to finish off a carcass of a majestic animal, fallen victim to a dark disease.

I … I remembered the monster looking back. I remembered the symbols on the telescope glowing once more.

I remembered losing myself in the following seizure.

I wanted to believe that it was just the imagination of a child. But, I could not. Not when I had seen the same creatures invading planets in my dreams. Not when I had seen beasts being corrupted under a mysterious dark energy constantly radiating off the sky. I wasn’t afraid of the sky because of the unknown.

I was afraid of it, because instinctively, in the dark recesses of my subconsciousness, I had always known what it held.

Monsters.

No wonder it had gotten worse since the Cataclysm, it had gotten worse. It wasn’t the memory of the planes falling out of the sky that escalated it. Not, it was just another excuse. It was the subconscious awareness that those monsters were getting closer.

I felt … I didn’t know how I felt. I still felt afraid. That much was certain. How could I not when I had seen those monsters destroy other planets, remnants locked in the dungeons.

Yet, I somehow felt different. Maybe it was how people grew up with an abusive parent. Each beating was inexplicable, unescapable, and meaningless. One day, the kid hit back. Maybe fighting back would get an even worse beating. But, it wouldn’t matter, because the kid would see his father for what he truly was.

A bully. One that could be fought against.

The darkness was the same. It was like finally seeing the monster in a horror movie. It didn’t matter how scary the monster was. It was out in the open. And, it could be fought against.

I felt my perception shift. And, for the first time, I felt that mysterious energy without the assistance of the dungeon. Just like mana, it was everywhere. But, unlike mana, it didn’t fly freely, but stuck to everything, like a metaphysical equivalent of grease.

[Mana Detection (Rare) 216 -> Void Guardian (Celes—]

[Mana Detection (Rare) 216 -> Void Sentry 1 (Mythic)]

I ignored everything given by the incredible shift of my skill, or losing an even better one, and I lashed forward, using Mercurial Movement to its full potential. For the first time, I didn’t freeze in fear as I lost the connection with Earth, flying forward.

[-200 Health]

I cut through the air like a missile. It wasn’t flying, but it didn’t matter. Not when I was already higher than them on the hilltop. The Ascended positioned to block me, watching me soar above their head helplessly, the flying ones lacking the mobility to catch up with me. I plucked Maria from the air in a bridal hold, and once I landed, seeing that Rosie caught up with us, I started running.

“T-that…” Maria muttered, shocked, still dazed from her own failure. Rosie said nothing as she ran with me, but her expression was similar.

I just chuckled as I ran, putting some distance between us and the enemy while getting closer to the swamp.

The ball was on our enemy’s court.